


Journey to Freedom Nation

by Sombereyes



Category: Mai-HiME, Mai-Otome
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Drama, F/F, Futanari, Multi, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-07 18:48:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 124,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sombereyes/pseuds/Sombereyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a place that can heal all wounds. It is filled with merriment, and never ending joy. A free land, where there are no kings, no queens, and everyone lives in peace. There's greenery as far as the eye can see. The trees give tasty fruit, and the water is always crystal clear. I intend to go there. You may come with me, if you so desire...Shiz/Nat. Futa themes, and AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So, I've been sitting on this first chapter for a while, because I was unsure if I really wanted to post this thing up or not...but now that I've started getting back into this story a bit, I really wanna play with it. A tiny bit OOC, and a lot of AU, we're about to have some fun with this puppy... (Or at least I hope so!) Uhh, yeah... futa warning, just by the way.
> 
> For those of you who've seen this on the FFN, this is the explicit version, as in, the one they won't let me post up there because they would spaz out.

She closed her eyes, her body rocking to the drum beat that pulsed through the dark room, sweat covered her body, and it glistened in the firelight. Nightfall had come, and it was time to do her best to attract a suitor, her body scantly clad in a dress that hid next to nothing.  It mesmerized her when a figure finally approached, choosing her for the night. She couldn't help sighing as her partner caressed her hips, guiding her motion, uncaring that the eyes others were on her. With a possessive streak this person, who's face was soft like a woman, but stern like a man, appraised her. Wandering hands found their way up her dress, to feel the woman, seemingly happy that she was cleanly waxed.

One finger, with a nail short, and well manicured tested the supple nether lips, and as always, Shizuru allowed the contact, looking away in shame as the emerald eyes fell over her. She was taken off the stage with passion then, and all but dragged to the front counter, where payment was then made. She wasn't carried away like most nights, as then she was taken back to the dance floor, and this man's hands wandered as they danced into the night, captivating the eager glances if the other patrons.

People always watched her, and she tilted her head back, unrestrained as she let those hands dip lower, pulling her closer. A shuttering gasp escaping her lips as as the person she didn't even know, a hookup from merely hours ago, nibbled the nape of her neck. Cheep wine flavored each lustful kiss, and knowing hands cupped her breasts suggestively. It was followed by a murmur in her ear, one only for her, and, that night...just like every night, she found the arms of someone who would gift her pleasure. She didn't wait, didn't hesitate, as she followed her momentary lover away from bordello that gave her a simple roof, when nowhere else would.

Uncaring where she might end up, she begged to be taken, to be used. This soft looking man complied as he kissed her fully on the lips, letting the smoke of his cigarette pour into her mouth, all the while, hiking her already short dress around her hips. With a smirk, he lifted her up, around his hips, his strength a surprise to her.

Smoke slipped from her lips as she moaned, rocking to the hardness that seemed to guide her, thrusting into her without inhibition. This person, so beautiful, that emerald orbs couldn't help but shimmer in delight. Every single breath she released seemed to make those orbs darken more with need. His lips were pale, and soft. Even though he refused to undress, taking her against the wall of his dwellings, he was incredibly gentle with her. This man, was unlike any she'd ever met before, and she couldn't help but lose herself in the raw, unbridled passion, her breath becoming shallow as quiet moans could not be held by the shackles of her mind. When she could do nothing else but get carried away to bliss by this man, she let her fingers tangle in long midnight tresses that trailed down his back like a waterfall.

Finally, when she was spent, disheveled and lacking in any grace, he kissed her lips, and carried her to bed. So gentle, so kind...so beautiful.

A mystery though he was, she couldn't bring herself to care. She pulled him into an embrace, begging this man not to leave her, she wondered why she even cared. Was it because he was the first to be gentle? Perhaps it was...but the reason didn't matter to her. She wanted him to stay there, to hold her...he could do whatever he wanted, as long as he didn't leave.

…

The thick drapes were drawn, blocking the sun from entering the room, even in daylight, it was as dark as pitch. The only light that came, sparked from the corner of the room. A cigarette lit and perched upon soft lips, one that had made dear sweet love to her not long ago. Her body burned at that, as she sat up, taking in the look on his shadowed features. The flickering candle only lighting the way for a short distance.

"Good, you're awake." His soft chuckle was something that warmed Shizuru's heart, but it was not as low as she might have expected it to be...at lest, not for a man of his age. He was no child, after all, and clearly, he was a man of taste. "I was worried, finding such a person as you in a brothel." Still, it seemed of passing intrust to him, as he presented her the dress that had fallen freely from her form, as reckless abandon took over her very soul. "Are you hungry at all?"

"No, I'm afraid not." She would have to decline, and shyly, she took her dress from his hand. He was built tall and thin, not at all robust, but surely strong. "I'm sorry, but I fear I do not remembered your name."

"You didn't ask, young harlot." Perhaps the mirth glimmering in his eyes was enough of a hint, but even if it wasn't, she could see that his words were not meant to be harsh. "Although, I suppose I do owe you a bit of formality, at least." With careful steps, he put out his favorite brand of tobacco and neared her. "This might come as a bit of a shock, but I am of the Kruger family. Illegitimate, of course...I don't actually share their last name, but they are accountable for me."

"Leave the poor concubine alone..." It was an exasperated sigh that broke through the room. "You're no better than her, dirty blood doesn't suit royalty." Purely a statement of truth, a short young male with with fiery red hair, came into view. "Her name is Natsuki, but she's a Kuga. Don't listen to the tripe she spews, you'd be better off drinking Virulent water."

"You're a woman?" Shizuru was confused as that. with baited breath she sat back a little in bed, pulling the sheets just a bit closer to her, covering her bosom with the soft silk. "I apologize."

"Of all the slander you spit, yet you can't even keep a pronoun correct?" Natsuki nearly bellowed, looking at her companion's direction. Softly she shook her head, looking back at the fearful woman in the bed. "Nao didn't meant to give you a fright. You see, the Kuga family is illegitimate, because of what we are. I am neither fully male or female. It's a curse, I'm afraid." Still, Natsuki had done well to conceal such a thing until her companion blew her cover. "Nao shares the same burden, I regret to say."

"I do not understand." Shizuru replied, she was sure Natsuki was a soft spoken gentleman. This person before her was unlike a woman, but, there were no attributes to define Natsuki's truest character. "I admit, you do not look as a woman would. I thought surely you were a man."

"It seemed as if you brought a dolt to bed." Nao's humor in the situation was untamed at her laughter. "We must be off soon, Natsuki. Don't wait long. Our horses won't make it to the next town by nightfall if we dawdle about."

"Yes, I know." Natsuki nodded, knowing well she would have to hurry. "My dear, I will wait outside for you to dress, but I implore you to hurry. I can't linger here in shadows of this old home any longer. I do not belong, after all. This extravagance doesn't suit me." With power in her stride, she turned and left the room, just as she said she would.

Shizuru wasted not a bit of time donning her dress of simple cloth. It had great difficulty covering her breasts, the rip that it had sustained from several nights in the brothel was growing larger, and soon, she would be without modesty. With an unsteady hand, she open the door, looking at the person dressed in simple, tanned leathers. "I'm sorry, if I upset you...I just never thought that a person such as-" A few fingers quieted her, a little frown on Natsuki's face, let her know just how deeply the shock had cut.

"It isn't any fault of your own." The melancholy was evident, but so too, was the gentle waft of understanding. "Listen to me, harlot, I will only say this once." Natsuki licked her lips, and closed her eyes. "I wish to be a woman...completely, utterly a woman. There is only one place that will allow me to do that. I must thank you for your kindness. Last night was wonderful...it shall not be forgotten." She slipped a few copper coins into Shizuru's hand, and then turned away. "I do hope, soon you will be free from your debts."

They walked down the hallways, ones decorated in the finest of luxuries. It was sad that no one lived here any longer. This place was merely for the ghosts of the past now. Natsuki felt a pang in her heart, knowing this was her parents had lived, and died. Even with the cobwebs that dotted the ceilings, and the bats that slept in the cellar, Natsuki couldn't help but love this place...she hated to admit it, but it was no longer her home.

"My name is Shizuru." The woman of crimson eyes, whispered. "I too, will hold last night with fondness." As if that would be all of the gratitude in the world, she hoped Natsuki could understand her plea.

Natsuki paused, and turned to look at the woman who held such a captivating way about her. Not only in her beauty, but even in the depths of her eyes, the uncertainty of her voice. "Well met, Shizuru." It was the first time anyone normal had accepted her, and Natsuki didn't know what to think about that, but she knew she had to be on her way shortly. "Tell me, why monger a body such as yours? What fines do you owe?"

"With regrets, I must inform you, I do not owe any payments." If it were that easy, she would have escaped from here long ago. "I am merely tool for hire, that is all."

"You are not a slave." Natsuki said then. "No king of this land would mistreat one such as you." This woman was purely that, a beautiful, free, woman. "You are not at all a vagabond, so why stay in a place such as this?" If Shizuru were simply a slave, Natsuki could have put an end to it at whim, this had been her home, once, after all. "The Black Valley is no place for you to be."

"I'm afraid I have no where else to go." Shizuru said then, knowing well that this place was unsafe. Still, it was her only sanctuary. "Even if land is drenched in decay, it is all I know. You are not the only one with a sickness, Natsuki."

"No, perhaps I'm not." Natsuki could agree to that. The Black Valley was covered in illness. The curse had ravaged the land, killing off most, and disfiguring others. It was not a dark sorcery that had done this, but rather the whispers of a war long gone. "However, I refuse to think there is no more to life than this squalor. I know there must be something better out there." Poison drenched many lands, and could spread like a wildfire.

"How can you know that?" Shizuru said then, taken away yet again by the whims of this person. "These lands are dying, Natsuki. There's nothing left to them."

"From the droughts of dry lands, to the joyous castle towns...I've seen a great many things." Natsuki could not put into words that places she'd been. "I promise you, there is much to discover, before you begin to claim that the lands are dying." Still, for all that she'd seen, she still needed to continue her search. "There must be something, anything at all, to fix this madness."

"You speak so willfully." Yet, Shizuru could not believe her ears. "I almost wish I could believe you." It was the talk of such a magical thing, it would be impossible. "You should begin on your journey. I only wish you luck, that you find whatever it is, that you're looking for. Travel safe, Natsuki."

"I will do so." Natsuki nodded then, it was time to part ways. Natsuki knew that, and yet, now that she was standing outside of the dilapidated outer shell of the castle, she almost wished that her lodgings were as grand as she remembered her grandfather speaking about. He was right though, this place had stood proudly decades ago, and beautiful though it was, this town awaited death. with no leader to follow, no one to protect them, many dangers lurked in the shadows. "Shizuru, live well."

That was why Natsuki had to go, to search for cure for her people...these were her lands, and she intended to save them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The morning sky was beginning to call forth the new day, when Natsuki had finally found her comrade in the stables. They were almost done packing, reading themselves for yet another long trip. Still, Natsuki felt there was more to be done before their departure, and that's why she had gone to speak directly with Nao.

"The horses have been fed and watered." Nao nodded, in greeting as she hopped off of her steed. A chestnut brown horse, young but strong, waited for his master to return to his back at her will. "We should consider leaving soon. I don't want to camp out on the roadside if we can avoid it. There is an inn due south from here, we can reach it by night fall."

"I've changed my mind, we will stay another day." Natsuki said then. "We should replenish supplies while we can. Besides, there is something I would like to look into." While it was true, they hadn't time to play idle games, Natsuki felt she had to linger. "One more day is all I ask." They had come in search of a few old tomes that were kept in the library, hidden and unknown to most. Natsuki had also found a little paper of interest stuffed between two books. "The bothy on the hill was something used by the medics back in the day. While it was there for everyone to use, it had an intended reason for being built exactly where it was." The only problem was, she had no idea why. "I would like very much like to see it for myself what this research note speaks of."

Nao regarded the piece of parchment, a sigh slipping from her lips, an invective soon to follow. "We shouldn't go prodding our noses into this and more deeply than we need to." Nao warned then, not wanting to stay in the Black Valley for any length of time, least they be discovered. "If these people find out who you really are, Natsuki, there will be hell to pay. We can't risk it, even if there are clues."

"I agree." Natsuki nodded, sighing as she looked at her companion. "Yet, we don't have enough rations to take leave." Although, even if they did, the idea was still dangerous. "I shall visit the bothy on my own. You prepare the wagon. After that, I'd like to visit the armory before we go, though I doubt the smiths will have anything of value, I will requite more powder, if I wish to use my gun."

"Understood. I would like to go to market, and see if there are any decent foods for sale. Surely we need some more wine, I don't trust the water in this region." Nao whistled, and a black horse came out from beyond the stable. "Are you sure you wouldn't like her fitted properly?"

"I like her bareback the best." Natsuki loved the feeling of knowing her horse's movements, a saddle couldn't give her that. Without difficulty, she mounted her horse, petting the soft black mane of the animal that served her well. "Meet me by the outskirts tomorrow at daybreak. I promise, I won't be any longer than I require."

Honestly, they should have been far away by now, but, it was hard not to loiter here. Natsuki could not recall anything of this place, though watercolor pictures she'd been shown as a child showcased this once lovely place. Now, it was not so beautiful, and Natsuki could only feel saddened that these people had suffered so much by the absences of any true again, she cursed the kingdom she'd fled from, hating that the Kruger bloodline had forsaken an entire populace of pained souls.

Natsuki felt guilty, knowing she had been the only one of any interested, and even then, a passing one at that. These lands were her inheritance, however, she knew she could not lead her people in her current state. The illness was not only of the flesh, and though mutations of all sorts were expected, it was the madness of the mind that Natsuki feared most.

It was like a ticking time bomb...it could happen at any time.

Hallucinations could addle the thoughts of the infected. They could rot the mind, stealing away any basic fortitude. Fever of great heat would befall the person. It would be hard to breathe, and shortly after, the toxins would end them. It was a cruel fate, but, no one knew when such a thing could occur. Natsuki had already lived her entire youth, and had yet to die. She was considered the chosen baby, the only one of the Kuga name to have survived the war. Her eldest siblings were murdered in cold blood, her father was traitor...slain for his sins.

She was born infected, like many babies with the illness. Her mother's death came soon after labor, another common occurrence...and Natsuki, like most of the babies born with the infection lived in fear. She like a handful of others, suffered a dual life, Not completely male, and, not entirely female...She was also doomed to live a shortened lifespan. As much as she cursed her fate, her disfigurement was mild, and, she couldn't exactly complain about it, or her scars.

Questionable genitalia was only one of the possible things that could happen to a person.

There were other sicknesses too, and because of this, there were no true cures, no answers for every little thing. There had been one advancement though, that would answer the prayers of many. It was a way to make life longer. Natsuki endeavored to find out more about it, she firmly believed in it, though, she knew it would not be easy. The bothy was one such place that had once been used to treat the symptoms of the illness, using both the toxin itself, and a great many herbs or other things.

It was not full proof, and there were horrid side effects. However, there were many who had turned to the treatment in the past, and while it was still completely inferior compared to what they needed, the fact that it could be made opened up doors for hopes and dreams. Her entrance into the bothy was a subtle one, but the elderly gentleman was no longer there. He had been gone for some time, but, he had done something of great use.

Upon the table were the treatments he'd used, samples of his greatest work. Natsuki had no idea how to use them, but, as she carefully collected everything she'd need, and his notes on the matter, she felt as if she was just a step closer...one more breath towards a cure for all who suffered.

There were many cities speckled in illness, now that the doctors of old were no longer here to treat the illness, fate loomed over the lives of many. Natsuki had spent time during her travels, to document every ailment she came across. She found that there were many misconceptions about the poisons used in the war.

They were not the end all, they were not the be all.

There was more truth to the matter. However, because of the nature of the easily gullible townsfolk, there were many rumors that remained false. Only a traveler who has seen much of the world, would comprehend what was truth, and what was filth. When she entered the the smithy, she expected to see a man, instead, she once again found that curious woman with crimson eyes. "She is a strange harlot." Natsuki murmured then.

"Are you looking for something miss?" There was a boy that ran the shop, but he was not Natsuki's fixation. "I'm tending the store for my father today, if you'd like, I can help you." He was but a mere lad, and Natsuki peered over the top of his head to watch the goings on. "Are you looking for weaponry perhaps?"

"Yes..." She began distractedly. "I requite powder for this gun." She handed it to him, while watching Shizuru dirty herself by feeding the fire. "I'm also in need of some information, should you have any."

"I can try to speak all that I can, if it'll help." He wasn't all that old, but as he gathered bags of powder for Natsuki, he could tell this person wasn't very interested in him. Looking behind him, his elder sister carefully tended to the hot iron that she was crafting. With a guess, he knew that his sister was not the cause. Instead, it was a friend of their family. "Her name is Shizuru."

"So I've heard." Natsuki agreed then. "Could you tell me about her?"

"I don't know very much about her." He knew enough about the woman to cause trouble though, and he reminded himself to be careful, as he continued to dirty his hands in the mound of powder he kept in a barrel near by. "She comes by to feed the fire, and to give us money to afford treatment. She is well known for being a lady of the night, at least, that's what my dad says." He placed three, small, burlap bags onto the table, tied with twine, a sad look on his features. "Like most people, I think she's sick. She never acts like it...but those red eyes..." The boy sighed then. "Father says it's an illness of the blood, but that's all I know."

"Your own eyes tell a lie, boy." Natsuki paid him anyway, and moved past him. "That too is a sickness...boys your age shouldn't fib." She pat him on the head, wondering if he too, was one of the many who suffered, but, it was an idle thought. She neared the woman known as Shizuru, a soft melodic laugh escaping her. "If I knew you would come here, I would have carried you on my pet."

"It isn't anything to concern yourself over." Shizuru said then, as sweat dripped from her brow. "A woman must work, if she is to eat." With a fan, she worked hard to blow air into the fire, wincing when hot ashes sometimes splashed onto her skin. "It isn't any trouble, really." Her face was blackened with soot, and she was a far cry from her former beauty.

"First you are a patron in a den of iniquity, and while that would be enough, now I find that you are a smithy." It was just a bit comical. "Quite the oddity, if I do say so myself. What binds you here?" Natsuki wondered that, and pressed on her interrogation. "Your eyes are not those of a healthy person." Shizuru's high spirits fell at hearing those words, and she looked away. Natsuki couldn't bear to see such pain etched across Shizuru's face. "Do not shy away from me." Natsuki ordered as she turned Shizuru to face her. "Look at me as the woman you are, and tell me, what illness do you have?"

Shizuru sighed out a lost breath. "When I was born, I was blind. I could not see anything." Honestly, sometimes she wished she would remain that way. "My father knew of a doctor who could cure the blindness caused by the poisons in the air, and poured a liquid into my eyes so that I could see again." It was at the expense of many things, including her birthrights. "It was made of the poison, and of blood. The red tint you see, is because it took many applications to aid me. My eyes simply became that way." However, she was not completely healed. "My illness is not something I can easily explain, Natsuki. I'm afraid, unlike you, I've no proof."

"Your eyes are proof enough." Natsuki wanted to kiss away the pain she could see, but Shizuru pulled away. "You can tell me, and I'll believe you."

"I wouldn't dare." Shizuru replied then. "I am only here because my very dear friends need money, they will die without it."

"Payment is all they need?" Natsuki asked, and when Shizuru nodded, Natsuki pulled out one gold coin. It was more riches than most would ever see in a year. It twinkled, shiny and new. "Answer for me, my inquiry, and I will give to you this coin."

Shizuru paused at that, knowing that for a family of three, it would feed them, cover them in clothing, and pay medical expenses for a few quite some time if they pinched out every bit that it was worth. "You only need my answers?" She was fearful that a coin of that nature would imply something far more, and she refused to be a slave. "A gold coin is a bit much, wouldn't you agree."

"I have a few pressing questions, Shizuru. I do not want your body for personal gain." She handed the woman the coin. "There is plenty more where that came from, but that one is yours, even if you don't believe me. It is freely and clearly yours to do as you wish." The answers would be priceless, Natsuki knew that. "What illness do you have." Natsuki pulled forth another gold coin then, holding it out for the woman to take, if she were to answer the question.

"I am, poisonous." Shizuru began as she tentatively pulled the coin out of Natsuki's hand. "I bleed in a very deep shade of red, it's nearly black." Shizuru couldn't think of any other way to explain herself. She took a knife that was nearby, and pricked her finger, displaying the truth. "If anyone were to ever come into contact with my blood, they could possibly die. Even if they don't, I've no idea what damage it could do." With a shuttering breath, she bit her lip at the memories. Accidents had taught her that very truth.

"Why are you a lady of the night?" Natsuki asked then, this time, only holding out a silver coin, this question was not nearly as important.

"Takumi has a weak heart." Shizuru replied then. "His medicine is costly, and his family can not afford to care for him on their own." She nodded her head to the older sister. "Her name is Mai, and she is not yet old enough to offer herself in the brothel. Even if she were, I'd hate to see her do that to herself, she has a family to look after."

Natsuki nodded, and added a few copper coins to the already beautiful silver one, giving them to Shizuru. "That's understandable, but you should not do such a thing either." Natsuki wanted a particular question answered, and this time, she pulled out three gold pieces. "Given the nature of your illness, how many people have you killed, by accident, or otherwise?"

Shizuru swallowed hard at that, pondering the coins in Natsuki's hand. She knew that this answer must be important, and she couldn't help but offer what little she knew. "I have never killed with malicious intent. Men are rough with me, sometimes." Shizuru sighed, shaking her head as she looked to the floor. "There have been other times when I've gotten a cut, and I've caused wounds." However, those were not the only cases. "Because of my nature, if the madness strikes, if someone has suffered for far too long...I'll let them drink it if they want, and end their pain."

The madness...once it got that far, it could not be stopped. Natsuki knew that, but she couldn't help but feel angry at the past. She had not been able to protect anything she realized.

"You don't need to do that." In fact, Natsuki refused to allow Shizuru to do that to herself anymore. "You are not some unholy savior." No, Natsuki wouldn't let her continue to think that way, as she took a handkerchief from her pocket. "You will not be the deliverance for my people." Firmly, she took hold of Shizuru's hand, and wrapped it in the white cloth, watching the dark ooze blot away. "I should be the one saving you."

"I think you are poorly mistaken, you've no need to save me, when you are just as ill as I." Shizuru's reply was in awe, and she could hardly keep the quake of uncertainty out of her voice. "People like us, have no idea how long we will live. You've got your own goals." A person as kind as Natsuki shouldn't worry about her. "If you want to cure yourself, I will only be a burden."

"I am the heir to these lands." Natsuki said, as she embraced the woman before her. "While I must thank you for looking after my people for me, you can stop now...I'm here...These aren't your burdens, Shizuru Viola, royalty of barren lands to the north." Natsuki was sure now...this woman, was much like her.

"How could you possibly know where I hail from?" Mild outrage, and partial confusion made her pull away from Natsuki's embrace. "I've told no one of my heritage."

"Stay with me tonight, and I will answer all of your question, if only you'd accompany me." Natsuki's request seemed odd, but Shizuru nodded anyway. She couldn't help but agree, that she too, wanted answers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was the Q&A I had answered on the FFN (and the original A/N)
> 
> /N: So I thought should answer a few blanket questions before we begin this chapter...because this is going to be a long authors note, I've also gifted you with a longer chapter than I expected that I would. I aim to please, after all...that, and short chapters bug me. Thank you to call for your continual support, and I'm so happy to see that this fiction is one that is going to be enjoyed.
> 
> Q: what is "The illness" exactly?
> 
> A: The illness, or curse, is something that a person may have. The entire premise for the story, is to find a "cure" for it. Not everyone has the same "illness" and some people aren't even sick at all. Those who are ill, contracted it by being around poison in some way. That is the cause for the illness. It's not a natural ailment. (The war has yet to be explained in detail.)
> 
> Q: Why does Natsuki want to "Cure" herself of being futa?
> 
> A: Chapters 1 and 2 discuss that. Everyone who has the "illness" doesn't want to be that way. It shortens their lifespan, or bothers them in some way. Some characters will have other motives, based on gender, birthrights, what kind of illness they have, and things like that...but those are choices based more on the character, rather than life and death. Either way, their life does depend on these "cures" so that they don't die.
> 
> Q: What's the difference between "Illness", and "Maddness"?
> 
> A: The illness is dormant, and while it's bothersome, it can't kill a person. In this story it only becomes truly dangerous, as something called "The Madness". When the "Madness" takes over, as described in chapter 1, the situation changes and it starts affecting the way people think. Natsuki and the others need to cure themselves before that happens. So, while her gender isn't the pressing issue here, the fact she could die young is a huge issue...
> 
> Q: You said there were doctors that had stayed in the bothy. Where did the doctors go? Why didn't they used the medicines on themselves?
> 
> A: The doctors were medics in the war, but many are dead now. The medicines that the kingdoms use are weak. Even when you use them, bad things happen. Shizuru described this by the use of gaining her eyesight back in chapter 2. So while the poisons are deadly, they can be used for healing...but again, it's dangerous, and unhealthy. That is why Natsuki wants to find a "cure" so that they can stop the suffering.
> 
> Hope that helped guys...anyway, I'm going to extend a little warning now. I'm known to play with gender roles to an extreme, and this fiction won't be any different...in fact, I'd like to think this is not only going to test the boundary line, it's going to snap it in half...(playing around with Symmetry and Best Mission Ever, gave me an idea of how I'd truly like to take my ideals of futa.) I said I was going to have fun with it, but when I was looking at my next chapters (3-6) I realized just how far I go, and decided I'd warn you guys now.
> 
> I will be gender bending, breaking, and god knows what else, in future chapters.

Natsuki was surprised that a woman of royal blood would fall so far down into the pit of despair, but that was what happened. Clearly, no woman of her nature would wish to be a call girl, and Natsuki found herself wishing she had been just a little more gentle with her first interrogation. However, the information was priceless, and her discovery even more so. This woman had no home anymore, no land in which to claim. Natsuki could see that this woman would easily be a powerful force, and a good friend to have.

However, Natsuki could also see the battered remains of hardship, the woman had suffered already a great deal.

Why else, after all, would she hide in Black Valley? It was known for toxic air, and malignant water. The people here were of failed hopes and dreams, forsaken by many, purely do to their illnesses. Most of the sky was dark, and black rain would fall ways Natsuki hated to admit. A once beautiful place, now covered in dark mists. Not all of the Black Valley was so dark and ridden with decay, but soon, it would become that way, if an answer was not found.

Natsuki's endeavors to find it, however, were a long, tiresome, process. "Would you care for a drink?" The people drank wine because it was trustworthy, even when the water was not. Natsuki had found several in the cellar, and as she poured a glass of perfectly aged grape wine, she could not help but wonder how much a bottle could be worth. "This predates the war, so, it is of an exquisite year." Likely a year of plentiful fruits, for a taste this wonderful, became her idle thought.

"Yes, please." Shizuru agreed, "Though, I only wish only a small one." She'd followed Natsuki back to the castle, and back into the room they had occupied earlier that day. Natsuki wasted no time pulling the table out, and setting two chairs across from each other. "I would like to ask, how do you know about me?"

Natsuki put a bag of gold coins on the table, and sighed deeply. "I am well traveled." Natsuki began, it was an easy excuse, and not completely a lie. "Some might consider me a nomad of sorts."

"However, that is not enough to jump to such a conclusion." Shizuru could see right through Natsuki, could see that she was hiding something. "I've trusted you with my secrets, I'll beg of you to do the same."

Natsuki considered that, and nodded carefully. "Nao told you before, I was taken in by the Kruger bloodline, I am at least related to them by half. My mother's side of the family, but I'm related none the less." Amidst the flickering candle that gifted dim light, beyond the drinks before them, crimson eyes glimmered at her words. "My relationship with the Kruger bloodline, well, it is a strained one." Natsuki sliced into a bit of cheese, pealing back the wax, as she gave it to the woman in front of her.

"You are still royalty, and with a place to call your own." Shizuru's statement seemed to be fulled with optimism Natsuki often forgot could exist, even as the woman accepted the food humbly. "Clearly, you are not of limited means."

"Having noble blood, and extended relatives are to thank for that." Natsuki quipped, as if she hadn't wanted to be reminded of the help others gave her. "However, I'm a Kuga by birthright, not a Kruger." Natsuki wondered just how much she should say, without putting her offer onto the table. "As such, these are my lands, but I am not yet ready to announce that I am the heir. I'm in need of some personal time, now that I'm old enough, and I've begun to travel."

Shizuru partook of the fine meal placed in front of her. White, with a purity unmatched, this had come from a distant land. There was no way it could have come from around here, none of the animals produced such healthful looking food. "We've become a town of beggars. A ruler is needed, can't you see that?" Shizuru was still a bit bitter about that, knowing that Natsuki was in the shadows. Natsuki was a Kuga, her rightful place was leading her people back to good fortune and happy times. "Do you care so little? You'll ignore them? They've eagerly awaited your return."

Natsuki paused, and carefully set down her meal. She closed her eyes with a deject sigh. She too, often thought that very same thing. However, she could only come to one conclusion. "There is no point in leading a populace of deranged people." Natsuki replied then as she slowly opened her eyes. "In a few years time, the madness will have harmed everyone, and there will be no hope. Why would I accept my kingdom, only for a decade at best?" Troubling still, was a different matter. "How do I even know if I could live that long? What right do I have, to offer these people any hope in my condition?"

It was a harsh line of questioning. Shizuru didn't have an answer for it. Instead she nodded, sipping at her wine. "I understand, it honestly wouldn't be proper." However, that was the rational thought, and not one swayed by matters of the heart. "Still, it begs my question. How would you possibly know who I am?"

Natsuki didn't want it to come to this. She wished dearly Shizuru would have left the matter well enough alone. The pure ineptitude of the situation screamed for solace, and it wasn't one Natsuki could give. Left with no other choice, she spoke of what she knew. "There is only one kingdom of blood like yours...it is the only kingdom ever in the history of battle, to be able to use their own people so destructively." Natsuki knew well of the lore, it was not as hushed as people would love to believe. "However, in the end, only a seductress of red eyes remained. It has been said, this woman is able to gift any man a horrific death at a mere whim."

"I'm not a monster." Shizuru wished dearly to deny the claim, however, even in her experience, she knew well. She was feared, hated for her body...her sick, twisted blood. "It isn't my fault. People may want to believe those horror stories, but if they do, how am I ever to cope?" Here, in the Black Valley, even a person like her, would find friends and solace. "Where else am I to live!?" It was a plea, a pain well hidden creeping to the surface.

Natsuki had thought it mere folklore, but now, she'd seen the truth. "According to my grandfather, your people were responsible for making the venomous ichor that flooded these lands." She didn't want to hurt this woman, knowing she had been the one to suffer greatly at the opinions of others. "He would tell me, that it was only fitting that your people would all slowly die from the poisons themselves."

Shizuru nodded, a sad look of regret not enough to quell the truth. "Then you know quite well, I'm from a family of sinners." Shizuru's voice seemed pained, but, she was really just numb. "I feel as if what little I do, is the only way to help. Call it a repentance if you will...but I've made many friends here that I'd like to protect."

"You've no home in which to return." Natsuki nodded at that. "If that is the case, if you wish to shackle yourself to unfounded duty...let my will become yours." The bag of gold was enough to buy many things...any common person would be well taken care of. "You can serve me, and do a much greater good at my side." Though, Natsuki was unsure why, she felt so drawn to a person she should have hated.

Yet, the sins of the past were not their doing. "There is plenty more where this has come from." It was be so easy to hate someone, so easy to be just as the people who raised her...the very people she loathed. "Whenever your friends need money, I will see their needs be met." No, Shizuru wasn't to be blamed. It was merely the burdens passed down by family name. "If you can trust me, Shizuru, I promise you, we can find a better answer."

"For a noble, you speak about a lot of nonsensical things." Shizuru knew she should just continue to feed the fire, and live the only way she knew how. "You can not lead a kingdom, never by being so willful." However, she could not deny, that money would be so well used, so important for many of her friends, not all of them merely residing here, in this broken castle town. "I find it amusing that you even try."

"There is a place that can heal all wounds." Natsuki said then, a hope filling her voice. "It is filled with merriment, and joy. A free land, where there are no kings, no queens, and everyone lives in peace. There's greenery as far as the eye can see. The trees give tasty fruit, and the water is always crystal clear." In her fondest memories, she's heard of those stories, and she loved them dearly. "I intend to go there. You may come with me, if you so desire."

"I would be your slave?" Shizuru wondered that. "Sexual and otherwise?"

"Not at all." Natsuki wished it didn't appear that way. "I've heard there is a doctor there." A blush crept onto her face, and she couldn't will it away. "She is quite skilled. She has cured her own lands, and she can help us cure ours. I do not know where this place is, only, that it is called Freedom Nation. It does not show on the maps, and I've only heard murmurs of the place...still I wish to go." The road was not an easy one, Natsuki knew that. "However, I can tell you now, I will be lonely. The road is long, and I wish merely a companion."

"You would not ask me to attend to your needs?" Shizuru doubted that, and she peered into Natsuki, A defiance in her eyes. "You would not seek to control my body as you see fit?" Shizuru shook her head, she wanted to decline. "You may have been gentle once, but how can I assure you will be the same again?"

"You can not blame me for seeking warmth." Natsuki replied then, a soft pain began leaking into her voice. "Sexual advances may be involved, but that is at your concurrence." Natsuki had to admit that to herself too. She wouldn't dare touch another brothel if she could avoid it. "So, instead of making meager wages at your whim, why not travel with me, and make the earnings you truly deserve." Having a person who knew her secret, and not shun her away, it would be a great gift, a treasure to keep near. "Even if you were to deny my advances, it isn't in my intention to harm you."

A loneliness filled emerald eyes. "What kind of wages?" Shizuru was tempted, but it wasn't the money that called to her.

"It would never be less than a silver piece." Natsuki assured her. "More or less would depend on how generous I'm feeling, and just what type of care your friends would need."

That was more than any mere woman at a brothel would make, and Shizuru gasped. At least not one in the center of Black Valley. The pay would indeed be wonderful. "Are you positive that this place truly exists?" Still, the opportunity seemed an odd one.

"Yes, I can promise you that it does." Natsuki said, pushing the bag of coins further towards Shizuru. "Consider this a one time gift, for accompanying me tonight, so that even if you decline, you never say I have done you harm." Then she directed those soft emerald eyes to the freshly made bed. "You may stay here tonight, or go to your room in the brothel. I'm going to retire...if you wish to take me up on my offer, meet me at the gates at daybreak. Be ready to leave in haste, long goodbyes would slow us down."

"No need to rush away in a hurry." Shizuru replied then, as she stood from the chair she occupied, having finished her wine, and her meal of cheese. "I can attend to your needs tonight, at the very least. Allow me to do that." She had only begun to disrobe, when Natsuki's voice halted her.

"Sit back down." Natsuki laughed then, a small little one, that hardly carried about the room, though true happiness seemed laced there. "There are times I wish only company. I do not spew lies as freely as Nao." As she pulled a deck of cards from one of the bags, she held them up, indicating she'd like to play a game. "You will never be considered a prize to be owned Shizuru, not to me."

…

They had played games well into the night, and had even shared their bed, though it had been purely innocent.

When Natsuki awoke however, the bag of coins were no longer on the table, and Shizuru had gone missing. Nao hadn't seen the woman flee away, and Natsuki wondered, for just a short moment, if Shizuru had denied the offer. However, Natsuki recalled the agreement, and thought it was time to check around the town. They did have an agreement to meet near the front entrance, after all. Natsuki prepared her things, though most of it had been packed up the day before, and left the dreary abode.

Natsuki was unsure about Shizuru's personality, and wondered if she would be the type to often assume the worst of people...last night, she had done so, without meaning to. It was a worry she had to place at the back of her mind, now was not the time to let time get away from her. She could ponder such thoughts another time.

The early morning hours were quiet, and the serenity was something broken only by the bickering of the horses, as Nao prepared them to leave. Natsuki's mare without any gear, but the other horses hadn't any choice. They would have to pull the wagon, outfitted for several days on the long, open road. "The next town is a farming town." Natsuki sighed as she took a sip of wine, the only thing to drink, even in the morning. "I think we should purchase an ox." The horses were starting to tire easily, and it was hard to make good time. "We have the funds for it."

"If you want, though I didn't think you wanted to sell two horses." Nao replied, though she'd considered oxen too, recently. "I'd rather not have to push this damnable thing anymore, if I can help it."

"We will exchange one, but the other, we will keep." Natsuki explained then. "It's good to have a third anyway." Natsuki mounted her large, black horse, and guided her away. "Go on ahead, Nao." She called, looking behind her only momentarily. "I have an errand, I'll be brief." As Natsuki expected, Shizuru was there, alone. Her bag she carried was small, and likely the only personal items she had. Natsuki had hoisted them up easily, before helping Shizuru get on the tall beast that Natsuki so loved and respected.

They shared in trivial morning pleasantries, and that was all Natsuki cared to do. As they began to trot away from the main gates, Natsuki was headed towards the back of the large town. There was a passage three, that she wished to make use of. Nao was just up ahead, but with keeping an eye on the wagon, and her own riding, it was slow going.

When Natsuki had finally cantered her way to ride beside Nao, the redhead was mildly amused. "Well, well, well...if it isn't the concubine." Nao laughed with a warmth in her voice, truly amused by the woman riding behind Natsuki. "I didn't know Natsuki had purchased such a beautiful toy for our travels."

"That's entirely enough out of you." Natsuki growled then. "She too, is a noble like us. Though you easily forget, that even you have such a place."

"It isn't that I forget." Nao muttered, hating to be chastised. Natsuki's glare at Nao was met with an indifferent shrug. Instead, the redhead pulled a sheathed knife from one of her boots. "I'm merely trying to assure that our situation hasn't changed." Tossing the blade behind her, she aimed for Shizuru. Deftly, Natsuki caught it with one hand without flinching, passing it to Shizuru much more carefully. "You can use that thing, can't you?" Nao was a bit annoyed that Shizuru hadn't done something like that herself, and had relied on Natsuki.

"Would you stop being so moronic?" Natsuki intoned, keeping her tone bitten and repressed. "Greet her with open arms, and gift her the respect she deserves, from here on out, she's a comrade. You'll treat her as such."

"A travel like this is unsafe, you'd best be careful." It was a dark humor. "If you're captured by unsavory types, they may have their way with you." A vicious one, that Nao used to address Shizuru. Inwardly she wanted to harass the beautiful woman even more. "A lady of the night, such as yourself, would have troubles if someone were to force you."

"I'd have little to fear, my captor would easily meet their demise." Shizuru spoke softly. "I am a silent killer, in the heat of the night."

"That rat bastard is still alive." Nao cackled, her venom directed at Natsuki. "It looks as if you haven't done a good job. I would have ended her quickly."

"Natsuki was gentle with me, I can't kill someone who hasn't harmed me." Shizuru said softly, noticing the blush across Natsuki's face. "I know well of Natsuki, but I do not know of you. Perhaps, you might weave a story or two? If we're comrades, it seems only fitting."

"Are you bored already?" Nao muttered, quite aggravated by Shizuru's presence. "Natsuki, amuse your toy, if you would, please."

"She isn't a toy!" The bellow was likely heard far and wide, but Natsuki couldn't bring herself to care as they continued on their way. There was something soothing about the way Shizuru's hands had slipped around her her midriff, in such a way that it nearly begged to be saved. Natsuki unconsciously let her own hands fall over those of soft porcelain, and it seemed as if her fury eased out of her. This woman's touch had a handle on her, a calming, soothing, addicting hold, and Natsuki wished not to let go. "She will never be a toy..."

Nao rolled her eyes, hating to see Natsuki upset, purely because she would hear about it later. "There is nothing to tell really." At least, not to a stranger, Nao assumed. "Like Natsuki, I was born with the illness that occupies the flesh. Unlike Natsuki, once we reach our destination, I'm going to become a proper man." As they crossed over a small footbridge, there was no longer anything to guide their way...little more than their own instincts. "I really don't have any other choice."

"She claims that I'm the stupid one, but at least I have the presence of mind to use lambskin." Natsuki chuckled a little bit.

"I _can't_ wear a lambskin, you lunkhead!" Nao finally shouted. This was a sensitive topic for her, and she wished not to discuss it. "It's completely impossible to do so."

"I still don't understand the difficulties of your illness. You're the first I've met with it." Shizuru tried to think of anything that came to mind, but she found that it simply boggled her. "A human is a complex thing, there's no way you could simply change what you were born to be." She was unsure why Natsuki had offered her this task, but she could feel the warmth of the woman, and for some reason, Shizuru found she didn't want to let go. She partly wished she could press closer, if only to find some form of comfort.

"There is more to it than simply just medicine. Though, that is what we need to stop the malignancy." Nao bit out, as if the woman were completely daft. "While it is true, the poison can kill people, it can also do amazing things. Still, it is unsafe at best." Nao assumed though, even for royalty, Shizuru wouldn't have been doted upon. She would not have been taught what was merely lore for most uneducated people. "There is said to be a canyon filled with distillate. That liquid is no longer deadly. All of the toxins have filtered out through the minerals. It's been whispered, that if one were to drink from it directly, that they could revert to their intended gender over time."

"Then, how do you know you would become a boy?" She knew she was prying, but she couldn't help it. "You look quite effeminate to me, quite attractive in your own way, truly."

"Nao does not have breasts." Natsuki said softly. "The upper body does not sustain the mutation...that's reserved only for the lower body." Natsuki had not figured out why exactly that was, but it was the truth most had come to agree on. "The reason I refused to take off my shirt when bedding you, was because I bind my breasts down. My upper body is that of a woman, so, I was intended to be a woman."

Nao grumbled then, a slew of invectives were hidden between the lines of her words. "My body on the other hand, was intended to be a male. I have no breasts at all, but I do have womanly attributes in my lower quadrant." Nao sighed softly when she was met with a soft pity. Natsuki's eyes encouraging her to speak freely among their new friend. "However, I am not normal, Shizuru. I only wish I'd known sooner." Nao wasn't fond of the conversation, but she continued indifferently, if only for her own benefit. If Natsuki were to speak freely, Nao knew there wouldn't be a secret among them.

"You aren't normal?!" Indignant, perhaps...quite unlike her normally pleasant demeanor, she found herself aghast at that. "How could any of what we suffer, be anything near a normality?" Shizuru shook her head. "You shouldn't take pity on yourself over something so minor."

"Shizuru, I fear you don't quite understand." Natsuki wanted to say it, just so that Nao wouldn't be crass. "I am meant to be a woman, that means I can't spill any seed." Natsuki began slowly, as if to drive the point home. "I couldn't do that, even if I wanted to. Unless I become a woman, I can't have a child." Natsuki was completely sterile in her current form.

"And I don't have any eggs." Nao muttered under her breath. "I however, can still spill seed." Nao turned to face Shizuru, both of her hands making inappropriate motions, while Nao began to paint the lewd picture. "I bedded enough...with a fertile woman, and in the end, I came to find out she was with child." Nao fully intended of fathering the babe, once it was born. "Once Natsuki and I drink from the spring, our bodies will become as nature truly intended...I have responsibilities to deal with, so I need become a real man quickly."

"Nao..." Shizuru's voice was like a soft requiem, and when the redhead turned to look behind her, she expected to see many things. Still, those soft eyes aimed only at her, made her a bit grumpy. "That's so sweet, that you have a person your so fond of."

"Alright, alright, stop with the face already!" Nao shuttered to think such a look of awe could be aimed at her. "I do have some sense of valor." Turning to face the front, trying her best to ignore the exasperating woman with those legendary red eyes, she suppressed her embarrassment. "Although, I'll also be the first one to admit it's laced with capriciousness at every turn."

"Now that, would be putting the matter mildly." Natsuki snickered, thankful that her travel party had at least become civil as they continued along their way. They spent their time riding, using intuition alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! Yeah, you weren't expecting the thing with Na...I did warn you I was going to really bend things up, but I'm glad that for the most part. It was an enjoyable read for most of you. I have a few more questions to answer before we start...but thank you to those who've followed the fiction thus far, and to those who've reviewed. Constant support is always a plus...never hesitate to ask questions, I'll happily answer them.
> 
> Q: What does Natsuki mean when she says she uses a "lamb skin"?
> 
> A: Lamb skins are used as a form of contraception...basically, it's a condom...people use them even to this day. Back in "olden days" if a man were to use sexual protection, it wouldn't be of the latex, or other things we more commonly use now. If you want to get into the details of it, simply Google, and you'll find a plethora of information about it. Like I said however, lamb skin condoms are still used today, and are still quite popular. Though, I do warn you, if you do Google it, you may find out exactly what they're made out of...and I don't encourage it for the underage, or the squeamish.
> 
> Q: Pertaining to Nao's gender, what is it?!
> 
> A: In this story, being a "Futa" isn't something that's normal... it occurs through toxins we've come to call "the illness". In chapter 3, Nao and Natsuki discuss their gender, and state that the illness only changes the lower half of their bodies. The upper half stays the same. Natsuki is intended to be a female, and thus, has male lower parts...Nao on the other hand, was intended to be male, and thus, she has a female lower body. This also explains why Nao can't wear a lamb skin...she has no penis in which to put one on.
> 
> On with the fiction!

Camp was nearly [completed](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9163434/4/Journey-to-Freedom-Nation), they hadn't made good time on the road, but Natsuki found that she didn't mind. "You have never traveled, have you?" Natsuki asked, as the sun burned low in the sky, reflecting orange and pink fire in the distance. She had been preparing a campfire, trying to get the tinder to burn, as she peered up at Shizuru. "It's alright, if you don't wish to tell me, I was merely curious." She'd been trying to see past the hard to read shell, Shizuru's stunning smile hid something. Natsuki was sure of it.

Shizuru had been helping to clear the area of debris, and she paused, even if only to regard the question. "Not far, I fear." It wasn't as if they had been walking forever, when the eve of the day set in. At the same time, Shizuru was sore from riding on horseback all day. "Though, I've made the trek across our shared boarders, back when I had to escape my home, I have never left since." She wasn't used long travels, so against Nao's better judgment, they sought out camp. "I fear this is all quite new to me, amazing though it is."

"The sights and sounds will become normal, and it won't often be so pretty." Natsuki replied, knowing that when the rains came, it was often quite a problem. "We don't often stay out here. Bandits and robbers would think us an easy target." They were well equipped for any good fight, still, it was something they preferred to avid if they could. "They would be poorly mistaken, and even so, it would be best avoided."

"This journey will be just as dangerous as Nao says, correct?" Shizuru didn't want to think like that, not with such a beautiful scape before her.

Natsuki turned to the fire poking at it with a stick. "The Black Valley has grown larger in recent days, and now, the illnesses have reached even beyond these boarders. While it's true the foliage has yet to die, it will only be a matter of time." As she looked over at Nao, who was resting idly under the tree in a fresh change of clothes, she could only smile softly. "The birds have carried it on the wind, so, I fear it isn't just our people who've suffered." No, she wished that had been the case. "You should know, Nao garners a lot of attention in several major towns." Natsuki assumed it couldn't be helped, but she still had to warn Shizuru. "The kingdom of Artai Principality has fallen, recently. Nao has come upon hard times because of that. Do not be surprised if we run into a few of her natural enemies because of it."

"Nao takes quite a joy in these wilds, doesn't she?" Shizuru asked then, seeing the redhead at a calm surrender. For the first time, she was without vulgarity. "Even if she does not admit it, she's at ease here." There was a pool of water near by, and so, they took turns bathing. Shizuru was warned not to drink from it, purely because it wasn't a flowing source. Nao went first, unabashed as she dove into the shallow water to rinse off. She didn't even mind that she hadn't thought to bring anything to dry herself with.

Dripping wet, and lost for breath, shivering as she ran up the bank, the first thing she grabbed was an old, dusty shirt. Still, as filthy as it was, it was far cleaner than she had been moments ago.

"Nao and I live in this manner often." Natsuki smiled with mirth. "There are times we may go weeks without a proper bath, so any water can be useful." She herself, had hated her own repugnant stench on more than one occasion. "I'd like you to dress in different garments." Natsuki spoke quietly near the fire that she'd built. "I understand if they aren't your style, but, it would please me to see you more appropriately covered." They were clothes fit only for a man, but anything was better than the tattered dress Shizuru currently donned. "If you wish, we can buy you a new dress in the next village."

"No, these will be fine." Shizuru took them gratefully, quite tired of trying to hold her dress up any further. "It is your wish, after all."

Natsuki just shook her head, glad to be of some help. "You're welcome to use the lake as Nao tends to do, but I didn't think that would be something you would be interested in." Natsuki instead, had already heated a iron pot of water. "Inside, there some warm water, if you'd like to bathe in private. I will do the same, when you are done. I don't often like to bathe in cold water at night."

Shizuru wouldn't hear of making Natsuki wait. "You could just as easily accompany me, I have nothing to hide." In truth, her body had already been on display for those emerald eyes once before. "It would be nice just to have some company."

"If that's what you want." Natsuki however, was quite unsure about that. None the less, she followed Shizuru into the wagon, one that was growing heaver by the day, and soon they would need an ox to help pull it. Shizuru's dress slipped off of her form as soon as she released the one ribbon that held it together, as it bunched around her legs. She hadn't any other womanly things on besides a pair of panties, but those were also in a state of disrepair. "You truly are stunning, you know." Natsuki's cool remark caught Shizuru's attention. "You may not think it, but I believe it."

"What about you? Are you ashamed, even though you should not be anything of the sort?" Shizuru asked then as she went over to Natsuki, unfastening the leather tunic buckle by buckle. "You are quite fetching, you know."

"Say that only after you've seen my body." Natsuki's eyes fell to the floor as Shizuru pushed the leather away from broad shoulders. "I'm afraid that as much as people may say that, it simply isn't the case. Most people believe me to be a man." She could feel Shizuru's fingers pull away the drawstring of the cotton shirt that was underneath, making the opening far larger, and casually, she slipped that away too.

"Does it hurt, to be so tightly bound?" She feared for Natsuki, the strips of cloth were unforgiving, leaving red little marks on her skin. "It can't be healthy."

"It is better than being hated." Natsuki replied softly, still she had to admit, there were times that it did get bothersome. "I want to be seen as a person worthy of taking the throne. I can't possibly do that, not as I am now." Shizuru though, she was beautiful, her pale skin was nearly flawless, albeit a few lashes for scars. "Sometimes, I do feel as if I don't belong, but I know there are many others in search of the cure." As Shizuru unraveled the cloth, Natsuki's truth became even more apparent, as the deep, blacked scars, covered parts of her body like stripes. "I am not alone in my struggle, and that makes me all the more determined to continue my travels."

Natsuki was truly beautiful, as a man, or as a woman, but the wounds of the past were angry, and when Shizuru touched the marked skin, she realized what had taken place. "Why didn't you tell me you were so ill?" Shizuru frowned, those marks could only mean one thing, as the poison pumped through Natsuki's veins.

"You were not the only person to be treated with poison, Shizuru." Natsuki took hold of her hand, and kissed it softly, before looking into those endlessly red eyes. "My mother was also treated the same way, though, it was not due to blindness." It was true though, human blood did seem to make the concoction more potent. "You wanted to know what happens when blood tainted poison comes into contact with someone. What happens when does not kill them." Natsuki turned around, so show Shizuru her back. The lines were deep. "While it's true, your poison, or any really, can hurt me...I'm living proof that it can't always kill. I was born like this, so as ugly as this looks, the scars are from my birth, and they no longer hurt at all...if you were to ever birth a child in your current condition, it would be the same for them."

"It isn't ugly." Shizuru said quickly. "It's anything but that..." To Shizuru, it was her redemption. "Natsuki, do you realize how afraid I've been? To even feel anything for someone, knowing I could possibly-"

"Hush now, Shizuru." Natsuki wouldn't hear of that. "When I die, it will be when I'm old, after I've seen that my kingdom has been revived from the ashes." Natsuki wouldn't give up before that. "I will not die at a young age, Shizuru. I will never become so weak." She refused to be anything like the coward her father was. "You are a beautiful woman, who has taken a vow to help me cure my people, but you are noble too, and you must never forget that. With honor Shizuru...always, think with honor."

"I am also under your employ." That part still stung to think about. "You have been so kind, I've nearly forgotten."

"I will not force you to attend me." Natsuki told her, a softness in emerald eyes kind, and nearly protective. "Though, I do wish that you will."

Shizuru took a steadying breath as she looked at the nobility before her, knowing that in some ways, they were both equal. "Why are you so kind to me?" Shizuru knew Natsuki could have ordered her to do anything, and the payment would have been well worth any suffering. "Am I not yours to do with as you wish, so long as the payment is worthy of the deed?" Shizuru stood completely naked in front of Natsuki, and yet, she oddly didn't feel exposed. "You could easily have your way with me."

"You are not a prize of mine." Natsuki responded then, though, she wished that was indeed the case. "I sought out a companion, and little more. Though, if you do wish to service me on this night, you will make more than the earnings I've promised."

…

Shizuru had woken up in the early morning hours in need of a bath. She had not taken one the night before. No, she had been preoccupied, and even as she drenched herself in the cold water, rinsing away the smell of her own needs, she found that her core still burned deeply for Natsuki. Shizuru wanted proof. Evidence that this brilliant person would not die by such a means as her own, poisonous blood.

She hadn't expected Natsuki to take her up on such an offer. The bruise on her lower lip from the small bite was nothing compared to the horrific pain Natsuki must have endured, but still, even so, she remained alive.

She was in such good health, in fact, that to ease her pain, and Shizuru's worry, she had expertly turned the tables in more ways than one. It was a guilty pleasure perhaps, as Shizuru fanned the flames of her own desire, using the memories from not even a few hours before. She could remember Natsuki's thick, pulsing cock as it slammed into her possessively over and over. She was almost tempted to wake Natsuki's sleeping form, and beg to be taken again. However, she would have hated to wake anyone else to help her ease her flowing desires that glistened in the dull light of morning. Instead, she clutched onto a rock, her legs wide open, the gift of her womanhood something in plain sight, though she knew there was no one to see her. 

"Are you so insatiable?" Natsuki's words cut through her panting breaths as she too stepped into the water. There was a rock near by, a flat one, that Natsuki perched upon. She seemed contented in letting the cold air of the morning, and even colder water, lap at her skin. She beckoned Shizuru to approach her. "Have you longed for a touch so much, that you can't come to me now that I'm here and willing?"

Shizuru shook her head, as she wrapped her arms around her breasts, treading water. "It isn't like that." It was that she desired a bit more than she thought she would. "I just...don't you understand? I'm not used to something so gentle."

"You are only accustom to being used." Natsuki told her, a scowl on her face. "Those people, seeking you out for death, or even just for a few moments of unrestrained pleasure are merely swine. You know nothing of what it means, for someone to treat you with just a hint of respect." That's what bothered Natsuki the most. "Don't you understand? I won't die by your hand. You can trust me Shizuru. I've got my scars to prove it."

"That doesn't mean it's easy for me to accept that." Shizuru shuttered a sigh as Natsuki kissed her, pulling her into an embrace, letting Shizuru know well of her intentions. Natsuki was already aroused, the hardness easily slipping between her thighs. Even after Shizuru pulled away in shame, she couldn't hide her sadness. "I've never been more than a single night's lay." And yet, she wanted more, so much more, that it frightened her. She licked her lips, and sighed, Natsuki was at full attention, and that set Shizuru's nerves alight. 

"Do you want me to treat you poorly?" Natsuki asked then, a frown clear enough to be shouted from the roof tops. "I could order you to service me, and even force you to do it, but what would I gain from that?" Natsuki however, was not that type of person. "I was merely lonely that night, and wanted someone to fill my bed. Now, I wish you to be more." She took Shizuru hand, and closed it around her member, hissing as the contact sent a wonderful burning into her loins.

"Out of all the places you could pick to find a fling, why look in the type of places I would be?" Shizuru finally asked, as she gently squeezed Natsuki's arousal. "Why go there, instead of just putting the moves on some peasant girl? It didn't have to be me." Anyone with eyes would have accepted Natsuki. They would know well of her riches, simply by the clothing she donned, it was not poor quality. "Anyone would have accepted your advance, especially if they thought you to be a kind young man." She was well endowed, and that reminder made Shizuru sigh in admission as Natsuki's fingers coaxed wetness easily from her womanhood.

"you are well enough ready for me." Natsuki murmured as took Shizuru's hips in her palms, guiding the woman over her hardened arousal. "Do not question my thoughts, Shizuru." She sighed a little huskily, when she lowered the woman for the first time, without wearing a lambskin. "You will find that they will not soothe you." She wondered why she was being so willful, but, she couldn't find that answer either. "As of now, I wish only to be entangled in your embrace." It was unsafe, yes...and if the woman bled and small amount, the pain would be horrific.

And yet, Natsuki desired to feel this woman in the most intimate way, to call forth the flames of desire.

Her lips closed around one pert nipple, the taste of the lake water something crisp, but not as fresh as she would like, still her tongue danced on the gooseflesh skin, as she felt soft womanly folds envlop her member fully in warmed, slick velvet. Shizuru gasped softly when Natsuki nipped at her pulse point, letting herself get carried away by Natsuki's whims, as her hips followed the call. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, updates are coming quite fast, but as I said, I had many chapters already completed, and had been sitting on them, wondering what to do. Because of that, I have enough of a head start to post frequently. These chapters are quite fun to write, even if they are short. Just one question to answer this round before we begin. As always, feel free to ask, and I will almost always answer. Thank you to the followers, and reviewers, who seem to keep up constantly with my chapter releases, it makes me glad to see such an occurrence.
> 
> Q: Will Natsuki be affected by Shizuru's poison?
> 
> A: Well, she can't be killed from it, but, that doesn't mean it's harmless either. Natsuki will suffer in pain if she comes into contact with it, but no, it can't kill her. The reason for that, is because Natsuki has built up an immunity to poisonous blood, since her mother was treated in the same way, while Natsuki was in the womb.
> 
> On with the fiction.

"Just what _are_ you doing?" Nao grunted sleepily at the sight before her. First light had only just come, and Natsuki already had her nose in a book, whilst nibbling idly at an apple. "We have the chores to worry about, if we want to make good time."

"Chores will do no good if we get lost." Natsuki mumbled then, looking at her map. "You can tend the horses, brush them clean. My girl has already been well taken care of." Natsuki reached into the the bag of vegetables, handing the large, yet serene animal a carrot. Natsuki's eyes refused to leave the map, unless of course, she was writing notes in an empty book. "Shizuru will have breakfast fully prepared by the time you get back."

"Aye..." Nao muttered, without a hint of anything besides her sleepy droll. "As long as we're on the road soon. Idle time bothers me."

"I know it does." Natsuki however, was the one in charge of navigation. She pondered the book, [searching](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9163434/5/Journey-to-Freedom-Nation) for a passage that seemed to have gotten lost in the many pages, and she flipped through it in haste, the pipe in her mouth sitting there idly. It was more for something to do with her lips, other than anything else. Finally, as if she found a great displeasure, she tapped the spent ashes on the ground. "This doesn't bode well." Sighing as she rolled the map back up, she frowned. "It would seem, it's time we pay a visit to a few old friends." She gathered her belonging, placing them safely away in the hutch of the wagon. "Nao, I hate to be a pest, but do you recall the last time we visited Artai?"

"When I last heard word from Nagi." Nao muttered, not at all enthused about talking idly. She was busy, brush in hand, tending the nearest horse. "Though, that was almost an entire season ago, now." Nao stilled at that, wondering how her own lady in waiting was holding up. "I can't help but wonder if things have worsened or not. It's hard to receive any sort of contact in these parts."

Natsuki nodded, her book had indicated the same truth. "There would be no way to tell unless we went there." Natsuki wondered if there were any nearby carrier pigeons, but, she knew it was probably a lost cause. "We have been staying near our own territories for quite some time, I feel it's time we branched out. However, I can't say that it would be safe anyplace beyond the paths we've already taken."

"We're looking for clues, correct?" Shizuru was very sheltered, and she noticed that Natsuki found an explanation difficult. "Where exactly do you intend to go?"

"I'm afraid that unless you find yourself to be a scholar, Shizuru, the layout of the lands are a bit hard to explain." Still, Natsuki plucked a simpler map from the many she'd collected. "There's the northern region, which has gone mostly unexplored. The icy kingdoms are up there, but, unfortunately, most of them have died out. Your people were among them. The northern most territory, Artai Principality, is one of the only places left with people still alive. Even so, it is a place covered in snow, and there is no true prince."

"Artai deserves no ruler!" Nao spat then, coming around from the wagon. "A bunch of traitors they are! No more than vermin." With her anger nearing it's peak, she kicked over the metal canister of milk, thankful that the lid was still on it firmly. "When request for aid came from the lower kingdoms, it was our fathers who ran away, hiding. Even more, at least yours has suffered. Mine is still out there. May his grief be so heavy, that he ends himself!"

Shizuru could only watch as Nao stormed away then, going for a walk to cool her temper, and Natsuki only shook her head, sighing. "Forgive her, she's sensitive about her family. Artai has an insipid past. Nao can't help but be angry about it." Natsuki said then, but directed Shizuru's attention to the map. "It's as Nao says, after her father ran away from his kingdom, fearing his very lifeblood, the land fell into a state of turmoil. Nao's mother was very ill, and could not lead the people. They sought a strong man to do so, and Nagi's father took her in, and stood to take the throne."

"Nagi's father was a merciless man, he sought power." She pointed at the several reservations that dotted the northern lands. "These lines here signify different territories he took over by force. Like your people, they had developed their own toxins." Artai was know for starting conflicts, and now, controlled almost all of the snowy north. "The man was infected with madness one day, and has since passed on." Still it didn't change the facts. "Nagi is a ruthless Grand Duke, just like his father. All of those northern lands are his now, and that territory even extends into your old homeland...not that there's anything left, mind you, but he still has conquered it."

"I can't help but feel bad for her." Though, Shizuru knew she and Natsuki were also not so lucky.

"Juliet Nao Zhang, was the name she was given at birth. Her mother is still alive, but she is frail." Natsuki knew however, that Nao would never admit how deeply vexed she felt about her country, falling into the hands of someone such as Nagi. "Never call her by her first name. We use her middle name, as that is more masculine, and she will be the heir to her kingdom one day." It was the respect one should give to a person such as Nao. "Nagi can't keep it from her forever."

"So, that's why she's insistent to become fully male." Shizuru understood now, seeing perhaps a deeper, more noble side of Nao, that the redhead wouldn't let people see. "To take her place as the ruler of Artai." It was clear that they only allowed strong men to rule over them.

"Yeah, that's about it." Natsuki smiled softly then, as she took Shizuru's hand in her own, guiding it over the rough canvas paper. "This is a map that I've made, Shizuru. Everything you see on this canvas, I have drawn, I wish to discover more places." She kissed the knuckles that still had light burns from the other day, trying perhaps, to pull away the pain they were sure to inflict. "I wish I could find the place that the high spirited villagers speak of, but I've yet to find anything about it." She let Shizuru's hand rest on their next destination. "We need to go to the desert. There is a woman who knows more than we do. she is also with an illness unlike any other, and she was alive during the war."

Shizuru looked, as she slowly lifted up her hand. "It's merely a sandy graveyard, Natsuki." There was nothing on the map where her fingers were, but Shizuru had heard no life could possibly live there.

"No, that's where your wrong." Natsuki smiled then. "There are people who live there, hidden in the rocks and caves...they know how to live on desolate land, and they are a people unified of the same illness. It passes down, theirs is hereditary. They need the cure too, and they are our fondest allies. Midori, a friend of ours, has traveled longer than I have, she knows more about the situation."

"You really do have high hopes, Natsuki, don't you?" Shizuru said then, softly. "You really wish to save this world."

"It may seem like that." Natsuki said, but she shook her head, her voice softly wavering. "And I wish it were true." She felt guilty, and she would do her best for her people. "But all I really want, is to be a normal person. I want to be a woman, Shizuru." She didn't want to be hated, scorned for her father's transgressions. "I want to grow old, and die in a bed made of the finest silks, with people looking to me, with the fondest of smiles on their faces...because I actually did something worth remembering." Still, most of all, the one thing she wanted, was not something so easily obtained. "I want...so many things."

"You will attain them Natsuki." Shizuru replied then, a large smile across her face. "I'm positive that you will."

…

"What's your deal anyway?" Nao finally perked up after several hours on the road. Shizuru was seated behind her, as Natsuki took the lead in the front. With nothing but the rear of a wagon to stare at, Nao was growing bored. She wasn't fond of the woman of red eyes, and Natsuki had spoken about Shizuru's illness in very loose terms. "Natsuki pays well, but not _that_ well."

"I'm drawn to her, I suppose." Shizuru spoke quietly. "This world is filled with unrest, and I find that no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to see the same things she does." Still, Natsuki could strive to look for a hope, when no one else dared to try. "She treats me kindly, and I am thankful for that." Natsuki seemed so casual, her nonchalant way about her, it was beautiful when it occurred. "I only wish that she would smile a little more, and be at ease."

"Just be mindful of her, when she can have you more privately to herself." Nao said, caution spinning thick in her voice. "She is indeed kind to you, but, she has suffered at the hands of many. In her own ways, Natsuki can be quite cruel." Nao had seen it first hand, a cold, often angry fury burned in her emerald eyes. "You will see different sides of us. You don't expect it, but there is a real threat to respectfully fear." Nao hated when even she saw it, and for her, it was a second nature. "Natsuki is a wolf, wrapped in the wool of a sheep. Sometimes, even I forget about her harshness."

"Natsuki couldn't be unkind, not without a reason." Shizuru was nearly sure of that, but even so, Nao's forest green eyes seemed to warn of lurking danger. "I believe in that...in her words. She told me, clearly, that she would not harm me."

"She is not what I'm afraid of." Nao wondered how much Shizuru really knew, how well educated she really was. The ways of the world seemed to elude her. "There are many prejudices in a world such as ours, and Natsuki is not in the position to deny an order...not yet." Nao knew well of Natsuki's problems, but, she too had nearly the same ones. "We come from families who have expectations, and, we do have to appease them, or be slain for treason."

"Natsuki has suffered a great deal." Shizuru could agree to that. "However, your soul is just as pained. I can see that." Shizuru could do nothing for them, nothing but accept them, and their questionable ways. "Still, I trust Natsuki, I want to believe in her. I want to help her attain everything she wishes to achieve."

"You are a stronger person than I, if that is what you want." Nao replied as she saw the firsts hints of the sands mingling with the yellowing grasses. "When we go to the oasis, you'll see just how much Natsuki doesn't say. What she refuses to utter, not even to her dearest of friends."

"Are you sure it isn't your own anger of which you speak? You do tend to have a temper." Shizuru expected a colorful reaction, but Nao managed to surprise her yet again, with only a subtle, if not pained voice.

"One with raging fury." Nao nodded. "Don't ever forget that." However, Nao also knew she could blow a gasket easily, and then forgive later on. "Natsuki is angry...seething with it, in the worst of ways. It's cold, Shizuru. Frozen, and her emotions are so clear...like ice. She's so nice to others, but that's because Natsuki hates to raise her hand at anyone." It wasn't so easy as that. Nao knew well, what it meant to be a person in power. "Natsuki has an image to uphold, and the Kruger family are of unkind people. They are unlike Natsuki, they like to see the suffering of others." Nao shook her head, knowing this was why Natsuki had wanted to be alone with her thoughts...why she had asked Shizuru to ride far away from the torment in emerald eyes. "You will see soon, Shizuru, the pain of Natsuki's forced nature...just know, she does not wish to be that way."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: One thing I like about Mai Otome and Mai HiME, is that it plays off of mythologies, non-fiction, and even religions of many different places...some hints are from Malaysia (like Akane's child, Harry, in HiME.) and some are Norse or Celtic...and others are from Japan itself. You'd be amazed of all the lore, that goes into Mai HiME and Mai Otome. I love that kind of thing, and I really wanted to incorporate it into this story, where the many kingdoms are as vast and diverse, as the world is in real life. That said, you may see splashes of different lore, or sayings throughout the story...one of my favorite sayings is actually something the French came up with...even though it's a Latin statement... it is the only one in this chapter...because like I said, I will try to keep the use of other languages really light...but I love it so much, that I felt it must be used.
> 
> I didn't receive any questions this round, so we have no lengthy Q&A. I hope you all really enjoy this chapter, because with all of the deep things going on, I wanted to show a slightly happier side of the coin. That being said, I hope you all at least get a smirk or giggle out of this one.
> 
> I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

**Chapter 6**

They arrived on a small farming village late that afternoon.

It was just a day's ride away from the desert that Natsuki and Nao often frequented. Natsuki dismounted her horse, and Nao instructed Shizuru to hide inside of the wagon. They didn't want to attract more attention as they entered the village. Shizuru had recalled something about the way people may react, and followed the [request](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9163434/6/Journey-to-Freedom-Nation). She expected the people to get excited, but she hadn't realized that Natsuki and Nao were quite so popular.

As soon as the first villager saw them, everyone flocked in admiration and awe. Shizuru couldn't see the commotion, but she could hear it. From the excited sequels of the [young girls](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9163434/6/Journey-to-Freedom-Nation), to the boisterous cheers of the hard working men, it seemed a celebration was occurring outside. She wondered if there was some sort of impromptu parade going on, because villagers seemed to follow them...the echos of joy were booming around her.

"It's the chosen babe!" One woman called out. "Look how she's grown." Clearly she was older in her years, but Shizuru wondered if she was any wiser because of it. "Such stunning royalty stands among us." Her enthralled coo was something Shizuru found off, but she was not the only one to make her voice rise among the masses.

"Princess Kuga!" They would chant, as if this was a common occurrence. "Hail to the Kruger, who shunned thy name!"

"Hail our Kuga! Hail indeed!"

"The forsaken prince is with her." A rather intimidating voice from a man rang in joy. "Such an honor to see our saviors!"

"They're soon to be wed, or so I hear!" Whispers would echo even more than the boisterous chanting, though Shizuru could not hear those words over the loud fans. "Such an enchanting couple!"

Shizuru could only listen, and keep hidden as their party received the good graces of everyone around them. Shouts of praise, of good will, and even excitement about oncoming nuptials came in waves. Natsuki and Nao took it with grace, thanking the people who had no doubt conjured yet another hopeful rumor. This village was in fairly good heath, and that was a godsend.

It was one of the few, and when they'd arrived at their destination, Shizuru was surprised that Natsuki was no longer with them. Thankfully, the farmland was off limits to many of the villagers, because it was a friend who owned the place.

Once they were left well enough alone, a reprieve Shizuru needed, Nao told her it was safe to come out of hiding. "I never expected you to be so...popular." Shizuru could now see the beautiful sights of a land still in decent health. There was a small boy in the field, who looked at Shizuru curiously, though he dared not approach her. He had been one of the children from earlier, who, just by coincidence, had earned enough respect to be given a pat on the head. Something that seemed highly treasured, seeing as it came from Nao's hand. "Are you always greeted in this fashion?"

"Call it a bit of luck." Nao laughed then, as she nodded to the boy who waved at her. "Some places hate us, but others love us. We're pretty well known around here." Though, Nao knew she wasn't the true star of this village. "I guess you can expect that Natsuki would be praised, this is part of her land, after all. Even if she isn't officially the ruler, there are some places that will treat her with high regards. This is one of the places that have managed to avoid the illness, and they have her to thank for it."

"I see." Shizuru smiled, truly happy to know Natsuki had been successful someplace. "She must take pride in her kingdom, such worthy people follow her." Shizuru could only wish it was the same way in the main town of the valley. Most would consider themselves doomed, if they lived in the castle town. "Did she get swept off by her eager followers, or did she have a task elsewhere?"

"She's giving them the medicine she found in a bothy." Nao explained as she began to examine the oxen to choose from. "This village is healthy, and it is far easier to develop tonics to prevent the illness, than it is to cure it." The redhead was careful, looking at every trait of the animals, including the less desirable ones. She frowned in disgust, lifting up one of the tails, before putting it back down. "Their doctor here is knowledgeable, and Natsuki often gifts him the mixtures she finds. In exchange, he'll give her information that he may have. She's collected a lot from him, so it's only fair that she return the favor."

Nao slapped the butt of one of the largest ones, picking him as her choice. "This one, for a horse, and a fifty silver coins." Nao requested to the farmer, who merely nodded. It was a steep price to pay, and a lot more than she should have paid, but Nao and Natsuki were always that way. Then Nao turned back to Shizuru. "We are going to be leaving one of the horses here, but, you should pick one that will become your own." Nao nodded to the two that were still hooked up to the wagon. "I assume you know how to ride."

"I wasn't born yesterday." Shizuru scoffed, a tiny bit miffed and quite insulted. "Surely I would at least know that." Both horses were male, and beautiful creatures, but the one that interested her most was the one that Natsuki claimed as hers. The black horse was off grazing, and she wondered, idly, where Natsuki had found a specimen. Nao's chestnut horse was tide up to the fence, and Shizuru found it odd that Natsuki had faith that it wouldn't go running off. "Natsuki is an odd one, isn't she?"

"I guess." Nao shrugged as she plucked an apple off a nearby tree, brushing it on her leathers before taking a large bite. "I haven't really thought about it." She could see Shizuru's wavering crimson eyes, as she seemed unsure of which one to pick. "The honey colored one." Nao replied quickly, almost embarrassed that she'd said anything. "I'd pick him, if I were you."

"This one?" Shizuru let her fingers gently touch his side, and he allowed it without flinching. "He's gentle?"

"More gentle than that lunatic horse." Nao pointed in accusation of the black one. "Natsuki is the only one it'll really tolerate. If you try to put a saddle on her, she'll go ballistic." Nao had once broken her arm, falling from the angry creature for such a reason. "Natsuki is the only one able to sooth it, and it trusts her judgment completely. I only wish that crazy mare would treat me the same way."

"I was the one to bottle feed it." Natsuki had come back from her trip, village children in tow, and she could do nothing about the fact that they flocked around her endlessly. "She's a wild horse, I never really thought to work with her about that. When I left the Kruger's, I took with me the only friends I've ever really had. She would trust me, because of that alone." Natsuki knew however, it was because of the time and effort she put into caring for it, which was no small task. "Nao's right about the honey colored one. He's the most tame horse we have, but, he's also the youngest...he spooks easily."

"I will choose him, if that is the best choice." Shizuru smiled, going to Natsuki's side. "Do you realize, you seem to have inspired a row of lost little chicks?"

Natsuki looked down. The tallest of the children was a young girl, that stood at about breast height. The rest of the children could only stand as tall as Natsuki's hip, if they were lucky. "I do tend to attract little feet, don't I?" Natsuki said then, a bit shyly. "I don't invite them to follow me. It isn't as if I have a way with children."

"Princess Natsuki is ours!" One of the littlest boys said, clutching onto her as he made the declaration.

"A little help here?" Natsuki murmured to Nao, who got the implication.

"I'm afraid you're quite mistaken." Nao said, hoisting him up to hold him. "Princess Natsuki is well taken care of, I promise." Nao's eyes were colored in amusement, as she tried to keep up her part of this little game. "I protect her well, rest assured. This is her friends, and she too, is a member of royalty."

His eyes grew wide as he looked at Shizuru. "She's a princess too?!" He declared excited. "Princess Natsuki has a lot of friends, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, she does." Nao agreed as she put him down, and pushed him a little closer to Shizuru. "We have to remember to share our princess, okay?" Nao winked at the boy, which only made Natsuki roll her eyes. Nao was taking the joke a little further than Natsuki had wanted, but, she had to agree, it got the job done.

…

If there was one difficulty about visiting a village of people who actually knew of Natsuki's inheritance, it was that they tended to insist on entertaining her. The village seemed to think that while pleasantries were nice, parties were even better. While Natsuki didn't mind partaking of the local food, and listening to the songs in the tavern, there was only so much of it she could take.

She wasn't, by nature, a people person.

Natsuki genuinely enjoyed this particular village, but even she had her limits. So, it was with much dismay to the people who so loved to lavish her with attention, that she finally reported that she had to turn in for the night. It the truth, after all. She didn't have the luxury to linger here right now. There times in passing by, that she would stay for several days, purely to gift morale. This, sadly, couldn't be one of those times.

She had places to go, and pope to see. She knew that another place eagerly awaited her arrival, and so, they couldn't dilly dally. Even so, she was a person, same as the rest of the world, and she was not one to ignore a guilty pleasure. Especially, when she knew it would be fleeting in the best of times, and nonexistent in the worst of them.

A long, hot bath, was something she craved. It came not from a bucket, but from a tub she could actually sit in, and that was the absolute calling.

Natsuki sighed in great delight as she sunk lower into the hot water, enjoying Shizuru's gentle caress. The bath oils were exquisite, after having to bathe in lake water for nearly a fortnight. It was a common misconception, that villagers didn't bathe. Natsuki found out that actually, they did it quite frequently. Many of royalty didn't believe her. She would make the statements in defense of them, but often, the higher class put little faith in her words. She found it endlessly annoying on the best of days.

That was why she vowed to be a proper ruler, one who would know her land, and its people.

Natsuki's travels told her many things, and one, was that the royalty often misjudged the people they presided over. That was one mistake she would never to make. An old adage came to mind, when she thought about that. It was something often chanted among the villagers on her lands. They were a simple folk, something Natsuki knew they valued more than most would ever give them credit for.

They wished not to take life for granted, and Natsuki couldn't help but mumble the words in a lazy satisfaction, when Shizuru began to wash Natsuki's hair. "Venari, ludere, lavari, bibere; Hoc est vivere..."

"Excuse me?" Shizuru said then, as Natsuki bolted upright, and away from Shizuru's touch. "Are you quite alright?"

"Indeed...I'm fine." Natsuki cleared her throat, trying her best not to sound overly surprised. "Sorry Shizuru, I'm just tired, that's all. A warm bed is hard to come by, and we won't have that luxury soon enough. That, and this bath is nice. I was just dozing off a bit, into my own little world of sorts. I do that, occasionally."

"I didn't mean to startle you." Shizuru resumed washing Natsuki's long, midnight hair. "I've just never heard such a language before...it's not a common voice. I was simply interested. I hadn't any idea you could speak in a tongue from another land."

"It is actually from my land." Natsuki chuckled then. "Though, the people who used to say it, aren't around anymore."

"What does it mean?" Shizuru asked with interest, taking extra time to run her nails over Natsuki's scalp, something she knew Natsuki secretly liked.

"Hmm. Midori is a person you'll meet soon enough." Natsuki murmured, as her eyes slid closed in pleasure. "She taught me that saying, and she lives by it. Perhaps, you could say, she is the epitome of such a phrase." Midori did indeed, allow herself to be just a bit overzealous in the best of times. In the worst, hell would scurry away, her fury nipping at its heels. "To hunt, to play, to wash, to drink, – This is to live." Natsuki shook her head then, surely Shizuru knew well of the simple life. "The main city is the only place that I truly fear for." Natsuki explained. "The area is so unwholesome there, that there is no way I can possibly do much to save it."

"Surely you can do something." Shizuru said as she poured the first bucket of warm water carefully over Natsuki's head, being sure to rinse it of the bath oils completely. "Anything would be a step in the right direction. You are a person who can do great things, when you set your mind to it. I'm sure you could save that town, too."

"Unfortunately, I can't." Natsuki replied then. "The sky is dark, and the blackened air is continually a problem. However, people are strange creatures. They will live, and die, with the honor they seek. For many, that town is all they know. They wouldn't pack up and move. Even if they did, they're already infected. Why seek out a new place, and bring misfortune?" Natsuki knew that was how many of that castle town thought. It's high population density didn't help at all either. "There are other villages, like this one, that cover my land. Shizuru...my people are not all gone yet...but that is why I remain hopeful. That is why I must find a cure, so that at least some of those that do suffer, can be redeemed."

Shizuru smiled at that, Natsuki was determined, that was for sure. "When you do find the cure, what will you do?" She asked, slipping her arms around Natsuki to embrace her, the water droplets trailing between the cleavage of Natsuki's breasts.

"I will rebuild what we've lost." Natsuki replied then. "I'd like to think, my kingdom will be far stronger, when I rule over it." Though, Natsuki sometimes wondered if that was the best plan. "I do not wish a castle to be built in my name...a comfortable home, here in this village, that's all I'd need." Natsuki knew by then, her name would be known far and wide, and as such, she wouldn't need an intimidating home to state her claim. Her voice would be powerful enough to do it for her. "That, and maybe a dog...I would really like a dog."

"Such simple things, for someone who would otherwise be a queen." Shizuru found amusement in that. "I would assume it would be quite lonely with just a dog, wouldn't it?"

"Have you seen the way these people act?" Natsuki opened one cool emerald eye at that, a bit exasperated from all of the ruckus earlier that day. "Every village that isn't plagued with illnesses, seems to know nothing of hardship. Surely they fall on hard times here and there, but Shizuru, the poor are not lonely, starving creatures...they're quite the opposite." That caused a blush to spread across her cheeks. "In fact, almost pity Nao. The ladies are quite fond of her."

Though, in truth, Nao wasn't the only one who seemed to attract unwanted attention and praise.

"That one woman really was quite the little go getter." Shizuru couldn't help it, she started giggling. "Who knew a woman of her age would look so attractive without her brassier." In fact, unlike the brothel in the castle town, the small tavern in the village was filled with women. It was no small number, that were just a bit enamored with their honored guests. "Really, these people are quite friendly." If, of course, flying undergarments were a way of properly greeting someone. "Wouldn't you agree?" It may have been horrendously uncouth, but it was all in good nature, and many a laugh had been taken at Natsuki expense.

"It's better than when she threw her petticoat at me." Natsuki coughed then, trying to keep away the red tint on her face. "Back before they knew who I was, she thought me to be a strapping young man, like most tend to do."

"She's also quite fond of the drink, too." Shizuru knew that was likely the reason why the woman had been shedding her clothes without any common decency. "Though, I suppose that they all were." Shizuru gathered that nightly parties were a common occurrence. When Natsuki had escaped the tavern, some people had been dancing on the tables barefoot, or singing rowdy, slurred songs in merriment. "I am eager to see what other places Natsuki has visited, after all, they must be wonderful."

"Hmm." Natsuki hadn't the heart to say otherwise, but her deject voice did it for her. Natsuki knew the truth was a bit more saddening than that. While there were many places untouched by the toxins that clouded the land, she also knew it would not remain that way forever. So, while these villagers lived life to the fullest, in the only ways they knew how...there were other places that awaited grim fates. "In some ways, yes." It was all she could offer, and all she dared to say. This night had been wonderful, and, for the few hours left of relaxation she had, she intended to enjoy it. "Attend me."

Shizuru's crimson eyes fell upon emerald at the request, and she bit her lip, as she looked down at Natsuki's calmed state. She considered this for a moment, knowing well how insatiable Natsuki could be in the heat of the night. after some consideration, and a bit of moving around, Shizuru was able to lean over Natsuki on all fours, and kissed Natsuki's lips slowly, begging to enter. Natsuki quickly gave in, and parted her lips. While she allowed her tongue to dance in slowly in Natsuki's mouth, drawing forth a hum on pleasure, her hand slipped down to awaken Natsuki's arousal, her hand sliding up and down the hardening member. She could feel it grow thick in her grip. Becoming more that just a little eager, Natsuki's breath quickened as Shizuru's pace did, and soon they broke the kiss, and Shizuru let go of her newly acquired prize, as she ducked lower, to envelop the stiff arousal in her mouth, bobbing her head to take Natsuki's fullest length as best as she could, her hand gifting pleasurable touches where her mouth could not reach. 

Even that was not enough for Natsuki, who's panting was growing more, and more shallow with each dip or lick of Shizuru's tongue. Finally, Shizuru pulled away from that too. "Forgive me..." She breathed as she parted her own nether lips, guiding Natsuki's thick, hard cock between her own dripping folds, sighing as she took control of the pace, and set forth a rocking to her hips. "I need you."


	7. Nomad's Log: Black Valley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright guys, time for a little explanation. Nomad's logs are going to be individual chapters that are always going to come from to Natsuki's POV. They will dictate her travels, and the layouts of the land. Think of it as a way to help get a better understanding of just where they're going, and how the different lands and kingdoms work. I originally started setting these up after chapter 3, when I realized I'd need a way to quickly reference details about their world, and had made "lists" of information. I realized however, that it would eventually be a great additive to the story.
> 
> As shown in the chapters beforehand, Natsuki actually logs her travels often, "Nomads Log" is kind of the way I used to build up the world around them, and to decide how to give characterization to particular places. That said, the things Natsuki writes down dictate the layout of the land, the culture of the people in the area, and things like that. I intend for these chapters to be quite short compared to storyline chapters. They're only a way to give a different depth to each area, and one individual character.
> 
> Also, the days you guys get a "Nomad's Log" chapter, you'll also get a storyline chapter along with it on the same day. The reason behind this is because I don't intend for the "Nomad's Log" to actually carry the story like an actual chapter would...though, they are an important part of the story over all.
> 
> (That said, expect your storyline chapter to be posted within the next few hours)

_**Nomad's Log:  
(Black Valley)** _

_I've completed another map, finally! My endeavors as a pathfinder only seem to be gifting more and more good fortune, and that is a blessing in these troubled times. The fact that this particular map is of my homeland, is something even more wonderful.  
_

_I suppose, I should start simply._

_The Black Valley is a large, sprawling land, with twelve villages, and a main castle town. It is land without an owner, currently. Though, now is good enough a time as any to state, it is my inheritance. At any time, someone could come and claim these lands, if they so wished. However, due to the illness here, this land is mostly unwanted. It wouldn't do any stronger kingdom any good to try to take a claim here...the weaker ones wouldn't dare to try, if they if they were a halfwit. The people are simply ill, and, without guidance, they've begin to get just a little rebellious. Thus, they're awaiting the last Kuga alive to be ready to take the throne..._

_I'm simply not prepared yet, the situation is far more complex than the general public realizes._

_In fact, due to the youth of the land, most of it uncultivated even to this day, it takes well over a fortnight to get from one village to another. There aren't any roads of dirt, or otherwise, so the terrain is always harsh. To make matters even more complicated, none of the villages here seem to have long distance communication skills. Without the use of even carrier pigeons, any of them remain isolated at best, and have no contact with each other. Needless to say, it presents no end to the difficulties found here, though, I shouldn't be surprised._

_As far as homesteads, there are a choices for would be travelers. There are often farmers outside of the villages, who will often rent out a room, or some spaces in their barns for only a few copper. Though the inns are small, they offer communal sleeping for an affordable rate...if one wishes a nightly companion, the brothel's are also an option, though, there are only a few of them here in Black Valley. The most common choice however, are the ones out in the middle of nowhere._

_Many styles of bothy dot the landscape, and those are free. Some people even raise families in them, if they prefer seclusion. Seeing as this once was a nomadic territory, I've come to expect to see at every common turn. However, that's a different matter entirely._

_The climate depends mostly upon location. While normally a very temperate place, there are small, isolated areas that boarder the tropics of the southern kingdoms. These areas are hot and humid. Rain falls freely there, though, if it's healthy or not, is dependent on the wind. The same could be said for the more arid boarders to the north where the climate is often dry, and life is sparse. Most of Black Valley, however, remains a lush open field, although, very few live in the open land due to the illness, and the need for village medics, as few and far between as they often are._

_The Black Valley is considered to be a land that is forsaken by the illness. The castle town is little more than a walking cemetery. Illness floods the streets, and within that, death and decay are not far behind. There is no doctors left in that city, and so, often, they must wait for a passerby, who just may have some medicine on hand. A traveling caravan occasionally stops by to help the people, but, often it is not enough. Unfortunately, because of the state that the town is in, the black rain that falls like acid from the sky._

_There is very little anyone can do about them._

_I regret to say, many will await death, for lack of anything better to come along. Out of the twelve villages, only the ones nearest the castle town are infected...still, four villages is no small number...and, eventually, the illness will spread if not well controlled._

_The other eight villages remain healthy and thriving, a godsend among all of the depressing news, and sights I've come across. Though they are a hardworking people, they are, as individuals, very poor. The cost of living is thus, very cheep. One can buy a home for a few silver, and food also affordable. That said, there are only two villages that are well off enough, to assure that no matter what, they will be safe._

_They are the only farming villages that see traders constantly, and, one of them I frequent often in my travels._

_All in all, I've come to conclude that the Black Valley is a lonely place, filled with hardships. The people struggle more than one would deem necessary, and, without a proper way to communicate, they can't contact others for aide. With doctors so few and far between, the concern for even basic healthcare continues to be on the rise. The education level around here depends purely on the village itself, and I'm sad to say, most are lower than I would have guessed.  
_

_Having completed my survey of the Black Valley, I can now conclude my map of this region. May it, and this book, keep any would be pathfinder safe in times of need. I've endeavored to make this book out of the love for my people. Their stories, while little to recommended on a personal level, paints for me a far greater picture, and I hope it will do the same for those who pass by._

_However, one should take note of the history of the Black Valley before they visit idly._

_The Black Valley is one of the youngest kingdoms, and was at one time, little more than open space. The nomadic people, known as the Aswad, called this place their home..._

_That however, predates the era of war, that has since, cast these lands into ruin. Before the war occurred, there was nothing else here. Peaceful groups of nomads, who fought for sport, spent their time idly, seeking out a simple living. They were known for their skills in combat, but also, as hunters, and skilled pathfinders._

_The Aswad, were of course, a race of people that followed no direct leadership...that was due to their nature more than anything...but, it was their demise._

_Due to the thriving land, which, was highly sought after, many wealthy families fought for a chunk to claim as their own. Some nomadic groups stayed to defend their land, others ran away. It was those who ran, that ultimately survived the bloody ordeal. The wealthiest family to want Black Valley for themselves, was actually, the Kruger bloodline._

_Decedents of my mother._

_While it was true, they had their own lands due well north, in the snowy regions, it didn't stop them seeking conquest...back then, however, the Kruger's had no male in which to send to lead the lands...they did however, have a daughter._

_After a royal wedding took place, and the strife of the nomads had calmed, the young couple traveled down from the snowy hilltops, to claim the land as their own. The man my mother married, held the last name of Kuga. He was a kind ruler, for what little he was worth...soon he had a thriving city. For several years after that, peace found Black Valley, and settlements were built...those settlements turned into the twelve villages of today._

_The Black Valley at that time, was a thriving place. Many would flock to sell native wears, and the nomads found that they could find riches if they became traders. Armaments were the largest export. Native food, fruits mostly, and wine came a close second. However, the Black Valley was never known to have a strong army..that is undoubtedly one of the reasons for it's downfall. The people who didn't settle, remained nomadic, and because of that, the militia remained fairly weak._

_It was around that time, when the war of the kingdoms occurred...without a proper military, and simplistic view of life...there was little in the way of a proper defense. An offensive strategy would be doomed to fail, and my father knew this. He fled his kingdom, my mother in tow, to return to the norther lands. He was promptly slain for abandoning his people, and my mother, who was carrying me at the time, stayed with her family..It was decided that the Kruger bloodline would forsake the Black Valley as a forbidden land, and this held true, until I came of age._

_These lands are mine, and now that I have an understanding of my people, and their culture, I can only say that I need time to properly seek out the cure that plagues my lands. I must do that before I can lead them into prosperity._


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who are continuing to follow, and enjoy this story...Anyway, on with the fiction...the plot gets deep in this chapter, hope the "bomb" doesn't drop hard, so to speak.

Their departure was met with a fond farewell as tearful well wishers begged them to travel safe. Some of the men warned Nao not to stray away from Natsuki, begging the forsaken prince of Artai to be faithful to their princess of midnight tresses. Nao was hung over like a trooper though, and could only nod her head in utter confusion, unable to understand them in her delirium. Other villagers warned Natsuki to be mindful of their traveling companion, fearing that Shizuru might try to steal Nao away.

Only the trio knew of the truth, and took everything in stride.

Once it was time to leave, Natsuki had all but run away at a full sprint when the particularly boisterous woman ran to the front of the group, all but toppling Natsuki over in one of her melodramatic embraces. Natsuki rolled her eyes, but soothed the woman, assuring her she would be back to visit soon. All the while she was sure Nao's mind was running rampant with vulgarity, and Shizuru was mulling over her own little ideas, indecent though they likely were.

As much as the village begged them to stay, the time for playful antics and goodbyes were over. Soon, the trio mounted and began riding along the flat, dry lands. Here the grass was not so lush, and the trees weren't green. It was going to be a long travel before they would find the start of the desert, and even longer still, before they reached the oasis Natsuki was so intent on visiting. They would have to camp out, something Natsuki hadn't a fondness for, as two nights in a row would be met without a bath, nor decent cover from the nightly gusts of wind.

Their voices remained in high spirits during the day, a bickering between Natsuki and Nao, the most commonplace thing to whittle away long hours. In the night, whispers of desire came looming out of whatever privacy Natsuki could manage to find, even if it was merely behind the body of a thick tree. The weather was hot now, and Nao, without a cooler garb to wear, was often riding around without her leather shirt. Natsuki only wished she could do the same, the heat was stifling.

It seemed as if the world had forgotten that they were even upon the soil, as they kept up a steady pace, and yet, when they stopped for lunch, one hot afternoon, Shizuru realized that they were quite a distance away. "Surely we couldn't have traveled that far." Though, as she loomed over Natsuki, looking at the canvas paper, she squinted, thinking herself overly exposed to the sun. Perhaps it was that she couldn't read it.

"Your eyes do not deceive you." Natsuki looked up, and gently closed her book. "We've come a long way, and soon we will be in an entirely new place, ruled by the leader of the Aswad." She wondered just what might be waiting for her there, but even as it troubled her the slightest bit, she couldn't stop her wandering eyes. She wanted to confirm something in the distance, a landmark she often sought to look for, but it was not yet within her range of sight. "Our welcome will be a warm one, I'm sure."

"As warm as the village was?" Shizuru asked conspiratorially, only to see Natsuki tense up at that.

"No, though, I very nearly wish it was." Natsuki pondered how best to explain herself, only to find that she didn't happen to come up with a good one. "Aswad, they're a people who have a very odd illness, unlike the others I've seen." Perhaps that was why they held clairvoyance in the palms of their hands? Natsuki would not doubt it, but that was also why she sought their leader out. When she tried to catch the eyes of Shizuru, to see just what held the woman's interest, Natsuki could see that Shizuru was glancing at the map, trying to understand it. "Would you like me to teach you?"

Shizuru looked up from the thick, yellow paper, and withheld a breath. "It isn't that I can't read, I have a fine understand of geography." Shizuru said then, as she licked her lips. "It's just that, your maps are so different from the ones I've seen in books." It entranced her. The fine work of each brush of ink, carefully placed, seemed filled with love. Natsuki would spend hours just peering at her maps, and her books, as if she were a person who wished to discovered everything that was beyond simple reach. "You have no scale in which to follow, how can this possibly be effective?"

"Nomads are pathfinders." Natsuki replied as she handed Shizuru the book in her hands, scrawled with notes. "If we were to simply expect to document our travel by maps alone, you would find that any normal person would become lost." However, that's what Natsuki wanted. She wished dearly to lose herself in this world that seemed so vast, that not even she could see it all. "Each person who travels has a story to tell, Shizuru. We have a reason, a thing we're searching for. That precious thing may be different to everyone, but is it there, underneath the surface."

"And, this is your story?" Shizuru slowly lifted the cover, only to notice that the book was still mostly empty. Only a few pages had been used.

"It'll be yours too, Shizuru." Natsuki closed the book, and shook her head. "My journey has taken up more than one dusty tome. In fact, I've filled quite a great many of them so far, dictating all I've seen, and everything I already know." As if something came to mind, Natsuki stood abruptly, and went over to one of the compartments on the wagon, searching though maps, papers, and books, finally selecting a leather bound one with gold trimmings. A blank slate of sorts. As she held it in her hands, keeping it close to her chest, she pondered what to do, before making her decision. "I would like you to have this."

"You are kind, but I can't accept something that seems so important." Shizuru could see it in Natsuki's eyes.

"Our stories are the only thing we have." Natsuki replied as she urged Shizuru to take the book, and the small vial of ink. "Scholars say that knowledge is our most powerful tool, but I've come to find, that's only part of it." She looked back at her papers, maps, books, and old photographs. "Decades from now, when we are gone...this world will continue on. Others will be living, and fates will be decided by the choices we've made. What if they don't know about the illness? What if we cure it and no one will fear it?" Natsuki could only wish for that day to come. "How will they know of the countless people who made that possible, if we do not share our voice?" Natsuki swallowed hard as she looked at Shizuru, an undeniable truth in her eyes. "You have a story to tell too, Shizuru...a woman such as you, should come right out, and say it."

…

Shizuru had never been given a gift like this before. One that wasn't merely a trinket, but one that dictated value based on personal use. She tapped the ink pen on the first page several times, and each time she attempted to come up with something, she found it wouldn't seem right. There were so many things she wanted to say, but, it wasn't anything about the landscape, or traveling, like Natsuki's book had been. _Idle time...there seems to be much of it._ She'd written it without exactly thinking to do it, but she noticed that once she had marked the page, she felt less bothered by further marking it. _I never imagined she'd give me a book, but, she is always a quandary of the mind. I wish I could know what those eyes of hers see, when she peers off into the distance...like she is now._ Shizuru looked up from her leather bound book, searching for something else to focus on, but that was quite difficult when there was not even wind to move a leaf. _I can't seem to figure it out, so I fear, I do not have much to conclude._ She looked up again, watching as Natsuki painted colors on a blank canvas. Eventually, it would be a new map.

Shizuru licked her lips as Natsuki paused again. _Her mind is often addled by things that she won't say. Nao suspects that I don't truly understand Natsuki, and in these moments spent in quiet observation, I find that Nao may be right._ In fact, Shizuru had begin to admit to herself that Natsuki's heart was like a tornado of secrets. _I'm afraid I don't have much of a story in which to speak, and, I fear to chronicle anything...I would not proclaim that I am important enough to dictate my travels._ Nao's bluster pulled Shizuru from the pages, a string of invectives knew no boundary, and Shizuru merely sighed. _Actually, I find it quite amusing that Natsuki sees herself as some important figure. It's as if she assumes her words hold a particular level of merit._ One glace at Natsuki yelling at Nao, made that image all the more clear.

"If you were not completely inept, I would still have my map intact!"  
"You merely scribble! It isn't a true map!"  
"So says a person who can not read a compass!"  
"At least I have my wits about me!"  
"The dung on your boot states otherwise, you arrogant snot!"  
"Arrogant perhaps! However, unlike you, I am not Foolhardy!"

Shizuru smirked as they argued heatedly, mostly because Nao spilled grape wine on Natsuki's project. _Perhaps that is the justification one needs, merely for a whim. I find even if I deem myself worthless, I still hesitantly write on this page, my thoughts fleeting as they become a permanence._ As Natsuki had told her, a way to leave behind a story. Shizuru glanced at her words, seeing the truth hidden there. _This will be a time etched in only these words, and I would hope, it would be enough. I do not want to seem lacking, so, enough is all I can strive for._ However, thinking of things in those terms bothered her even more.

Now that the ink was dry, she frowned, knowing she could not remove it. This truly was a way to bind the soul to truthfulness. _Enough, to give me a voice._ She continued then, not at all pleased with herself. _Enough, to be worth a moment of time._ Yet, she found herself unable to stop. _Enough, for solace._ Shizuru cursed herself for the facts that she could clearly see in between each word. When had she come to hate herself so much? _There's a simplicity, an acceptance, that flows freely from my hand. As though instinct alone colors this page in ink._ When had she finally given up the hope of being loved by someone? _I wonder if it will be enough, to halfheartedly amuse Natsuki's whim._ Furthermore, why did Natsuki inspire her to do these inane things?

Why did she feel as if her soul was being quelled. _I doubt I could do more than that. I want to please her, though I deny such a fact._ She knew it was idiotic to think it, but she wanted dearly to show Natsuki her words. _I wish not only to warm her bed, yet, I require more than the day's amity._ Promptly she squashed the thought, unsure why she'd even let herself get so carried away. _Still, in spite of my best efforts, I feel a trembling sense of hesitancy every time she looks at me._ Yes...there was a lingering sense of fondness in emerald eyes, when Natsuki's gaze fell upon her. Shizuru pretended not to see it, but she could feel Natsuki's eyes burning into her. _Does she see something in me, something I do not know of?_

When Shizuru looked up to smiled fondly at her, Natsuki looked away, a deep blush upon her face. _It may just be wishful thinking on my behalf. However if that were so, I would willingly flounder in the guilty pleasure._ With a muted thud, she went to close the book, knowing it was time to help get ready for nightfall.

…

With long days drifting by in a slow agony under the hot sun, it was no wonder that the nights melted into an improper truth.

Fingers caressed her form in a slow, but firm way, taking in the hum of arousal it drew from Shizuru, who was warming Natsuki's cot with her. They embraced under the thin sheet, as their tongues danced in a welcomed way, before Natsuki decided she was going to take things quite a bit further, as she moved to lean over Shizuru. Natsuki was feeling quite confining in her cloth, and when she reached down to pull the leathers trousers she'd gifted Shizuru down her shapely thighs, until a quaking hand stopped her. "Not here, Natsuki." Shizuru all but begged.

"I will see to it that you are properly ready, before I take you." Natsuki assured her, remembering faintly a few times when she hadn't properly aroused the woman that lay underneath her. "I'm in no rush."

Shizuru shook her head. "It isn't that." Shizuru murmured. She wouldn't admit it, but she was actually quite fond of their momentary romps that occurred when Nao was off doing something. In haste, they'd often forgot any thought of proper foreplay. "Nao's sleeping, and I wouldn't want to wake her." It was an entirely different matter now, when the person that travels with them was sleeping not outside, but in the same wagon, and not a few feet away at that. "We can sometimes be quite loud."

"I will be sure to keep quiet." Natsuki insisted, but as she tried to trail her hands lower again, Shizuru wrapped her arms around Natsuki's neck, pulling her down on to of her.

"Natsuki, no." Shizuru urged, even though this full contact surely wasn't helping anything. She could feel Natsuki's firm arousal through both of their clothing, and Shizuru winced at how uncomfortable it must have felt, knowing her own arousal was soaking her undergarments. "Please...just, not now."

"She will not wake up." Natsuki assured Shizuru, but knew the decline in an advance was an honest one. "However, I understand if you fear that she will." Her voice couldn't hide the truth well. She hated that she had been told the negative. "I'm going to go get some air, it's stuffy in here." She had no sooner placed one foot into the sands, when she felt a hand clutching her shoulder.

"Natsuki..." Shizuru had no idea what seemed to have been shattered, but those eyes were unlike the gentle ones from before. As if a wall had been thrown up in their place. "Do you long for me so?"

"When you travel as far as I have, there is no rest, no calm, in which to confide in." Perhaps that was why it hurt so much. "There were times, when I would lay awake at night, looking up at the stars, wondering just where I could belong. One thing I've noticed, is that no matter where you are...the sky is still dark at night, it still beckons those who are lonely."

"It is only lonely, because you want to face this world alone." Shizuru knew, there was no cure for that. "Have you ever thought, that perhaps all of your searching would yield no fruit for your labor?"

"Many times." Natsuki nodded then, as she took hold of Shizuru's hand, guiding her out of the wagon. "However, Shizuru, the thought never pained me so greatly, until I first stepped into the Black Valley. When I saw the castle town drenched in sadness, I wanted to drown in the drink. Just when I thought to throw myself off the very cliff that shadowed my land, I met a woman who was just as lonely...and, though I knew better than to try, more than to allow myself the guilty pleasure...I made love to that woman, Shizuru." Expertly, she cupped Shizuru's cheek, and drew her in for a kiss, a slow admission fully on the brink of retribution. "That is why, it pains me now, to be told I can not have you, when I dearly wish it."

"Is that what you feel?" Shizuru couldn't bring herself to comprehend that. "You are so sheltered, that even with all that you've seen, you think I despise you?"

"You do not welcome me." Natsuki shot back. "You question me, my judgment, and even my intentions. You know nothing of being alone, and yet, you seem to think as if you suffer the same as I." Natsuki bitterly smirked at that. "This will be a very torturous journey, if that is mindset that you use."

"Bold declarations, for one such as you." Shizuru could feel the anger stabbing deeply into her heart. "One who goes chasing after folklore, instead of standing with her people."

It had happened so fast, that Natsuki didn't even realize it happened until it was beyond her control. In her fury, she did something she ought not to have done, but, as Shizuru's cheek colored pink, she couldn't bring herself to care. "There is not a trace of nobility in death." She replied, softly without recourse, and let herself fall onto the sands below, sighing as the cool grains clung to her sweaty form. "It's so easy to give up...so easy, when time grows near."

Shizuru swallowed then, as she numbly looked down at Natsuki. The slap had hurt, yes...but the words Shizuru's undoing."You are dying." Suddenly, everything became clear in a new way. "You are always so cheerful, it's hard to remember that you are even ill at all." Natsuki hid her suffering well, in so many different ways, it was simple to overlook her grumpiness for simply being tired. It was preferable to think she was saddened by something great, that fawned over, for feeling under the weather. "You have the madness, and I never knew." She felt nauseous, hating herself for not realizing sooner.

Natsuki produced an empty medicine vial from her pocket. "The doctor in the village, he does his best to provide me with aid, but even with it I can feel the deterioration." It was why she wrote down everything as carefully as she could. "There are times I will forget something, fundamentally important. It seems to escape my mind. Try though I might, it won't return to me until after I've read my ledgers. There are also times I've been dizzy before too, and what I vomit isn't normal. Though, bouts happen rarely, this is the onset."

"Two years." Shizuru muttered, still unsure how to take the news. "Two years is the longest I've seen someone withstand it..."

"Longer than months, but less than acceptable. I can not lead my people back to health in two years time." Natsuki explained. "The madness is a fluid thing. It may be longer, it may be shorter...but, I can not lead my people like this." She clenched the sand in her hands, a shuttering breath escaped her, as tears slipped from her eyes. "Not when I know conclusively, I will eventually die, even with our treatments." Her very breath depended on the cure, it was the only thing now. "I need Freedom Nation."

It may have been a whimsical thing to chase after...searching was far better than simply awaiting the inevitable outcome the madness brought. Natsuki had been clinging onto her search for the one place. A haven, and an answer gifted by the gods.

Shizuru knew it was the only way. "Even if it is only a fable...even if it is all nothing more than lies...I can't fathom any other outcome." She couldn't bring herself to accept what it would mean if such a place didn't exist. "You will find it, or die trying." The realization was haunting, and Shizuru realized for the first time, she really hadn't a single clue about Natsuki. Not an idea, nor a whim, about how truly alone she probably was.


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter, and the one on the AO3 is exactly the same, but that's only because this is just a developmental chapter, as we begin to build up the world around us a little bit more, and slowly start to ease in new characters. The next update (later on this week) will be another Nomad's Log and a chapter update as I begin to introduce a new area of the world...
> 
> Also on the side note to the “Explicitness” of this story on the AO3, it isn't exactly a question of my posting lewd things that could possibly tick people off...it's a matter of the fact I have more of a freedom in later chapters with how deeply into detail I can go. Simply put, I can post what I'd like without fear of reprimand. (Aswad's next few chapters a good example of what I'd like to do as far as “taking things to that next level” but you'll see that when I have time to post it...sadly that won't be any time today.)

Shizuru strained to see, as the gusts of winds sent sands flying into the air. To protect her eyes, she found herself wearing a thin strip of silk, and it hued her world in the light color of blue. Her hat offered the only shade for miles around, and the vexing heat only continued to get worse as the noonday sun danced in the sky. There were no clouds, and Shizuru partly detested that not even that was a simply luxury. Though, she had to admit, she had never seen such a clear sky in her life. The air was undoubtedly cleaner, and though it was arid, there was a freshness that encouraged her.

Natsuki seemed in better spirits as well, though, Shizuru's mind dwell on the truths that night brought well. Shizuru had never let herself imagine Natsuki was already so far into the Illness, that the Madness had begin to rear it's ugliness from the depths of Natsuki's mind. Still, Shizuru could not help but find a cold fire within emerald orbs, as they continued onward, in search of a place that was merely folklore. The dusty land before them gifted not a drop of solace, and the sands beat against their skin like sand paper....however, just as a person in desperation seeks a mirage to quell their desires, Shizuru wished she could take away the savage glare of Natsuki's eyes upon the land.

Everything looked the same to Shizuru. Each rock formation, each tree that clung hopelessly to life in the dry heat, mingled, until finally, something shadowed in the distance, became a beacon of hope. A flag, waved in the wind, battered by the harshness of the area, it stood in the sky, resting atop a sandy dune, and it was this flag, that seemed to comfort Natsuki. Tension poured out of her, as they grew near, and Shizuru saw bits of grass push up from the sand, in sparse little bunches. They'd reached the oasis.

The further in they traveled, the greener the world around them became, but, the heat was still dreadful, and sweat dripped from them. “Natsuki!” The call was from a woman, a friendly one, clearly, to address her as such. “Halt, and I'll come to you!” Another travel party coming from the northeast rode stallions quickly, in hopes to catch up. Natsuki obeyed the call that had echoed, two women coming to them in haste. “Hail, my friends.”

“Hail!” Nao and Natsuki both greeted at the same time. “You've returned quickly from north.”

“At speeds that would have killed any other, I fear.” This woman wore a headdresses that covered her face, and her hair completely. “In all honesty, I expected that you would still be out, scouting your lands.”

“I'm completed my survey of the Black Valley.” Natsuki replied, as she nodded her head over to Shizuru. “I've found a person who will be of greater help to me.”

“She would be a traitor, Natsuki.” These women were both of an exotic nature, Shizuru noticed that first hand. One had dark skin, and white hair...the other, while a lighter tone of the skin, had a purple diamond painted atop her forehead. “Why haven't you ended her?” It was the woman with the darkest complexion, that seemed the most bothered.

“She is no longer a traitor. Shizuru is a woman whom I've hired to attend me as I see fit.” Natsuki replied, easily, though she was kind in her speech. “Where she may hail from does not matter. She is just as much apart of these lands as you.”

A tense few moments passed by, as these women considered this. Finally, one of them spoke. “Well met, Shizuru.” Mahya was the first to greet her, pulling away the cloth that covered her face, the purple paint was likely of cultural significance, but it was not one Shizuru could place. “They say you are a princess of barren lands, honestly, I find it fitting.” Still, she nodded sternly to the women behind her. “This is companion. Her name is Laura, and together, we search for a cure among the distant lands.”

“They're nomadic like us, although, they're about as pretentious as any travelers could possibly get.” Nao jumped in, bored of the pleasantries.

“Bite your tongue.” Laura grumbled then, her voice soft, yet stern.

“Enough of this.” Natsuki sighed out. “We didn't meet in the middle of this blistering heat to quibble, did we?” In fact though, she knew that was all that could possibly happen, as long as Nao and Laura had the floor. “What of the lands to the northeast?” Natsuki addressed Mahya. “How are they?”

Mahya shrugged at bit. “The situation is delicate.” Looking over at Nao, Mahya seemed a bit bothered. She sighed, knowing there wasn't any good way to give them the news. “There was a violent boarder conflict up in the north. Apparently, it took out half of the people in Romulus.”

Natsuki paused then, and worried her bottom lip. “The land of scholars?” It seemed to be just a little off. “I knew Remus was a bit hostile, but I didn't realize they would try something like that.”

Mahya shook her head. “I only wish it was Remus.” If that were the case, then everything could be easily explained away as another civil spat, and little more. “Artai planned an attack, and unfortunately the people had nowhere to go. They fought back well enough to drive Artai away for now, but everyone assumes they'll be back.” Mahya knew the report would anger Nao. “The desert nation of Remus doesn't want to be of any help, but I can't say that's a surprise.”

“Naturally.” Nao growled out. “Romulus and Remus have been at odds since the beginning of time. They don't know how to treat each other nicely.” Nao was angry about it, but she had to admit, it was a smart plan. “With how much they hate each other, there's no doubt in my mind that Nagi would want to cleanly cut a divide, and partake more land.” What bothered Nao most, was that he didn't just go in full force. “He must have only sent in a handful of the weakest men Artai has to offer, and even then, why would he waste good lives just to become an annoyance?”

“We don't know.” Laura shook her head as she crossed her arms.

“This is a good thing, though.” Shizuru queried. “Isn't it? Doesn't this means Romulus is stronger than he gave them credit for?”

“Afraid not, Shizuru.” Natsuki knew better than to assume that much, but then again, so did everyone else. “Artai is a kingdom known for war, as one could expect of its rulers. Now, Artai has one of the strongest militia ever to be founded, and even the weakest of men aren't exactly pushovers.” Natsuki glanced at Nao, who frowned before she nodded. “In any case, Shizuru, this can only mean Nagi was trying to only be a minor annoyance. Romulus isn't exactly known for combat. It's a kingdom of scholars.”

“This isn't good.” Nao sighed, fearing the worst of Artai and any possible plans Nagi might have.

“There is no end to his ruthlessness in sight.” Mahya nodded. “Anyway, we couldn't find out anything about Freedom Nation.” That had been the entire reason for their trip in the first place. “We wanted to stay and help Romulus, but, Nagi's forces were larger than we could deal with.” The casualty counts were large, but that wasn't the only factor that bothered her. “Couple that with the fact that Nagi seems hell bent to unearth the toxins of old, and we may have another war on our hands.”

Nao grumbled at that, but she didn't voice her thoughts on that matter. Though, inwardly she cringed. Instead, her mind thought back to the old ways of fighting. “Artai makes poisons that are indigenous to the coal mines in the north. While the poisons are deadly, they won't cause widely spread damage. You can not catch an illness from it, Nagi is smart, and knows he needs as many fit for battle as possible. He'll lace the blades, but he won't seep it into the air, or the water, where his men might take unplanned casualties.”

Mahya nodded, feeling lucky. “We're safe then.” They'd stayed well away from the water, at all costs. “What of you, Natsuki? I'd no idea you'd finished your search in the Black Valley.” The woman said, dark hazel eyes, peering at Shizuru for only a moment, before dismissing her completely. “How bad was it?”

“The Black Valley is as I expected it to be.” Natsuki replied then, looking forward, and avoiding the prying gaze entirely. “Four, out of the twelve villages I would oversee, have fallen sick. The illness sweeps the land quickly.” As if that were not enough, however, it was the truth about the castle town that bothered her the most. “The major city of my people is in a sad state of affairs. They suffer endlessly, and most are on the verge of madness. I doubt we can do much to save them, all but a small few will be doomed.”

“It is better word than some of what we've heard.” Laura replied. “We've come back to report to Midori about Artai, and that we've found nothing in the way of hope.”

“We should make haste then, and stop wasting daylight.” Nao urged them on. “The two of you go on ahead, and we'll catch up.” The two women seemed to agree with Nao's thoughts, and they encouraged their horses to speed up. Drifting away from the wagon, steadily gaining pace. Natsuki took this opportunity to get near Shizuru, Nao doing the same, as they flanked her on both sides. “Don't get used to them.” Nao assured Shizuru sensing her unease.

“They just seem a bit unfriendly, but I'm not worried.” Shizuru chuckled then, shrugging away her discomfort. “I'm not as much as a damsel as you believe me to me, you know.”

“Either way, don't get used to either of them.” Nao warned her. “Though we respect each other, I wouldn't say we're allies. A mutual goal has us bound to a silent agreement, but, that doesn't make us friends.” In fact, it was all the more reason to keep an eye on them, for the future. “If I were you, when we get to Aswad, I would bow your head, and steer clear of most people. It is a place that you would be unwelcome.”

“Don't pay Nao any mind.” Natsuki sent a warning glare in Nao's direction, but she knew it was a futile effort to do so. “They're a humble people, but they're also very odd.” Natsuki couldn't think of a better way to simply describe those of Aswad. “Nao acts unfriendly, so often times, she's treated in the same regard.” The Aswad lived by many simply morals, but that seemed to be one of the greater ones. “Mahya and Laura aren't from Artai.”

“A good thing too, or Midori would have flayed them both by now.” Nao spat out. “Sometimes, I wish she would.”

That night, they stopped at a traders hub to rest and to ask passers by about anything pertaining to the conflicts up north. They came up empty, as they thought might happen, but even so, not all was lost. Natsuki spent no small amount on more canvas maps, and colored ink, something that was by no means cheep. After a meal, and a cold bath in the oasis water, they all easily retired to their wagon for the night. They were only a few hours away from the hidden home of the nomadic people, where Natsuki knew the leader of Aswad awaited them.


	10. Nomad's Log: Aswad

* * *

_**Nomad's Log:  
(Aswad)** _

_While it is true the people of Aswad have no home in which to claim anymore, they are still the proud race of old traditions, and even older history._

_Originally, the Black Valley belonged to the Aswad, however due to events, they have been run out...exiled, by my family. The Kruger's overtook the land as a wedding present, and I've been sure to document those events in the book that details all of Black Valley. I shall not discuss them further. However, it is with regret that I pen further truths onto this page._

_The Aswad used to be a group of nomads that traveled their native home. Though, that was several years ago, during a time, when war seemed sparse, and the land was new. They traveled in large family groups, known as caravans. They lived rather peacefully as hunters, and occasionally, as traders. Gathering food and water only as they needed, they lived a very simplistic life. For sport, they practiced fighting, but, it was in a jovial nature at best. They found it to be great fun, and would often hold bets to see who was the strongest amongst them._

_Ironically, it was how they handled disputes as well._

_Men and women are considered equal in everything that they do, and furthermore, they are free from most of the prejudices that cloak this world. Same sex couples find sanctuary here, and it is one of the few places that welcome them blindly. Holding true to the nomads of old, the people of Aswad live in caverns that dot desert landscapes. Occasionally, they'll wander back to the west, into the territory of the Black Valley, however, with the illness so rampant, they rarely attempt it._

_Just because they are a nomadic people, it does not mean they are as few and far between as the old days, and now, they occupy a small territory with a deadly ferocity unmatched by most. Considering the Aswad have roots seeded in combat for play, for sport, and to end strife amongst its people, you can be sure they are dangerous._

_Just beyond the oasis, where the tradesmen set up shops, there's an entry off the beaten path. There, you will find the passage into the Aswad's domain. Snakes and other desert fauna hide within the shallow cracks in the rocks. A person would make for an easy meal, if they were to attract unwanted attention. When a person enters the looming passage, they should take notice of the archers that stand guard, always on watch. There is never a time this walkway goes unprotected, so make due with the fact that eyes will be upon you._

_A word of caution; greet these guards as friends, and they shall let you pass. Sneer at them as an enemy, and you will be killed on sight._

_No light spills in from above, and because of that, shadows linger around every corner. The deeper into the crag you go, the darker the passage gets, until you come to a tunnel. There, you will have to dismount any beast you ride, and go on foot, leading your animals to follow you. The reason is because caves are beautiful, but, they are hard to navigate, and the ceilings are quite low in some parts. Once you make it through to the other side, a thriving pool of water awaits, and it is healthy to drink. A little further beyond that, is open area protected by canyon walls_

_This is their true lair._

_The people of Aswad are not unhappy, yet, they are not filled with the merriment one would expect._

_Covered in meager cloth, they rely on the surrounding kingdoms for their food and drink. Without it, they would be doomed a slow, lingering starvation. They are a quiet people, who prefer to sit and watch the world pass them by. Many here consider themselves scholars, and others are nomads who look for a place to stay in return for food. Money is no good here, payment comes by the items you have on hand. Food is worth the most here. Water, milks, juices, and wines come at close second. Everything else, is a distant third. I should also mention, livestock is a treasure not often found within their walls. The Aswad will gladly partake of any they can get._

_They are not a shy people, in fact, they are far from it._

_They eat, sleep, and bathe communally. All of the adults raise the young children together. If that were not enough to convince a person of their strong ties, the fact that they lack modesty would be a clear giveaway. It is not uncommon, for example, to see openly feeding babies on the breast. Nor is it an oddity to see prepubescent children running free from cloth. The men are often without constraints here, especially if he is a sire to many children._

_Polygamy is something, that I regret to say, isn't completely unfounded. The women are slightly more reserved. Though, on occasion, even they will go without cloth. A common ritual here, is that if a woman seeks the attentions of a partner, she will put herself openly on display. If multiple suitors want her attention, it is quite common to have a sparring match. Sexuality is just as much of an honor here, as it is a privilege. To prove one's own power is among the most important trait._

_In light of this, both women and men are taught to fight, and, both make worthy adversaries with a blade._

_They are a sexual people, and just as polygamy is common, so too is the lack of any true partnership. Babies are often born out of wedlock, and there are often occasions when no one will know who the father is. As questionable as it may seem, it is a fundamental part of the way they think, and live. Nobody really knows how deeply their blood ties go. Anyone could be related, and within that, a profound respect, and deeper need to treat each other kindly has resulted from such means._

_They do not judge easily, and welcome with open arms the simplicity of life._

_With honor, they live peacefully...such equality, something of ultimate freedom...they do not question each other...thinking it forbidden to do so. As long as no harm is truly done to anyone, the people of Aswad will turn a blind eye to nearly anything of a questionable nature. If a person has done something wrong...something truly deplorable, they must fight in a battle to the death, against the leader of their people._

_Currently, their leader, is a woman who's naturally charismatic, and has lived far longer than the history books tell of. She does not age normally, she is unable to do so. Inwardly, her body slowly deteriorates, just like anyone else with the illness. However, unlike everyone else, they age so slowly, that although she looks as young, she is actually decades older than I. Because they can not age normally, their lifespan has undoubtedly increased._

_Unfortunately, because of this, those of Aswad suffer longer. When the madness finally takes hold, they do not escape it's clutches so easily...outside of Aswad, two years is the longest any normal person can live..._

_Inside of these walls however, they have to endure the horrific grasp even longer. Some people must wait many grueling years for their death to greet them. Their illness is hereditary, and passes on from parent to child. It is due to those facts, that everyone here in Aswad needs the cure...their very race depends on it. They trade information, and medicines freely to help one another. All they beg for in return, is a peaceful surrender to their laws while in their territory._

_It is the least they may ask for..._

_Because of their long lives, and peaceful nature, they've become a central hub for information gatherers. While it's true the Aswad don't use money, they will sell services for items that they need. The Aswad are well known, and well respected. However, do not let their kindness fool you, they are inherently very dangerous people. They've become embittered, due to losing their homeland. Now, with so few of them left, all of them suffering greatly, it comes to no surprise that they do not tolerate a slip of the tongue from any outsider._

_The Aswad are powerful friends, but, fearsome enemies; never forget that, should you traverse through these caves._


	11. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this particular chapter, this is were the more "adult like" situation comes into play. I would recommended that you play the song "Principles of lust" By Enigma, for this particular chapter. Down lower, you'll see this: (Play song now) to indicate to turn the song on then. You can find the song here.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ-TLZcS0Es
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and enjoy the musical cues that I hope will aide in the experience, of truly enjoying the later part of this chapter.

**Chapter 9**

Inside Aswad's territory, it was little more than a desert surrounded by rock formations. They'd been carved out, some by water over countless years, and others by hand. Still, each abode overlooked the central area of their home, which was little more than large circle of sand. A bonfire sad ablaze in the middle, and Shizuru wondered, with the way the smell lingered in the air, if it was ever put out, or if someone actually fed the flames all night.

There were those who sat around the fire, feeding it, or doing other tasks, such as cooking, but most stayed away from it.

The children played idly, some with cloth donning their forms, and others without. Two women and one young man, seemed to keep a close eye on them, as another woman carried a baby on the breast. From a glance, it seemed most of the adults spent their time up on the rocks, or hidden inside of the alcoves, speaking with those that clearly weren't native to Aswad's lands. Some of the stronger men, were busy carrying around large bundles of wood for the fire. Others of Aswad, both men and women seemed content in honing their weaponry as well as scouring maps.

They paid little mind to the travelers that passed them by. A few nodded in Natsuki's direction, and a small handful waved, it wasn't exactly a warmed welcome. It was nothing like the village, but Shizuru assumed that at the same time, she could find little to say about it. "You'll need to change into something more appropriate for the weather around here." Upon arrival to the territory, the first thing Natsuki did was lead Shizuru into a small alcove on the other side of the large circle of sand. "This is our room, so you're free to do whatever you want in here."

If it could even be called a room. "A bit exposed, isn't it?" Shizuru wasn't complaining, but merely stating fact.

Natsuki nodded, as she pulled the the thin netting over the door. "Yes, I suppose it is." She took little time pulling a robe off the wall, and giving it to Shizuru. "These people live a bit questionably. I'll apologize now in their place, for anything you may find offending." Though in truth, Natsuki was unsure why anyone would rather live any place else. She quite liked it here, often she was left well enough alone. "I need to go speak to Midori, and see about a few matters of personal interest. You can stay here and rest for now."

Shizuru sighed, but did as she was told, resting on the rug that made up some ideal of a floor. It was beautifully woven in reds, tans, and browns. Still, it left something to be desired, and even the cot in the wagon was softer than the rug. Shizuru knew she could ponder it, but at what cost? Her sanity had been tried enough recently, with all of the ruckus. Soon after Natsuki's departure, Shizuru found that she was quite happy to have a few moments to herself. She licked her lips, as she watched those around her do something so natural, she hardly noticed.

They scrawled out words in books, and painted maps on canvas paper.

She felt the urge to follow in their footsteps, and partake of their world, just a little bit. _Like Natsuki has asked of me, I'm keeping a low profile._ So, she followed her own whims, and documented her sights. _Though, I have not made myself friendly to others, I can still observe. I can still see, though I can't fully comprehend._ It was clear now, where Natsuki had learned her skills from. They were the same tried and true methods found in Aswad. _I wonder, is it because of Aswad's past? Does Natsuki wish to be apart of them? Or, is it, that she feels she is already among them as an equal?_ Shizuru was unsure, but it was interesting to muse about.

Upon further inspection, she could see how men welcomed each other. They didn't seem to hesitate to put their palms squarely on each others shoulders, perhaps, their way to embrace. _They have a strange sense of honor, of loyalty._ Some men were openly greeted by women, and, openly attended, as if by whim. _There are a great many things I do not wish to see here._ One man was even attended by multiple partners, and she'd seen no few women partaking of each other. T _he apparent common lack of cloth is one of them._ Men with men, and women with was a bothersome reminder of her own obscure feelings, but, not disgusting...simply, odd.

Those were not the only unfounded sights, just the ones that were glaringly unnatural. _Natsuki brought me immediately to this empty cave, though it is merely a shallow hole in the wall._ Now, Shizuru knew why. This was not a place for her to go wandering around alone. _I am not to leave this place._ A young boy, one hardly old enough to be away from teat, followed a large man around. Soon it became apparent that it was his father, but only after the man scooped the boy up, and away from the large swords that sat glinting dangerously in the sun. _The sands in this little alcove of sorts, are covered in merely a tightly woven net. A decorative rug lays over it. In the corner bedding is folded, and only thin netting acts as a door._ It seemed fitting. _It is of humble means, but, enough for these people._

"Hail..." A quiet greeting from the door startled Shizuru for a moment as she grasped her book to her chest. "Hail..." He nodded to her expectantly, as if wondering what form of strange creature she was. He stood far taller than any other man she'd ever met, though she assumed that was because most in the Black Valley were ill and poor. This man was unlike them. Through years of eating well, and hard labor, he'd developed a hard, sculpted body.

"Hail." She nodded, slowly. She was a bit unsure, perhaps, why he felt the need to make small talk, but obliged. "My name is Shizuru, I've traveled here with Natsuki and Nao." Still, she felt pleasantries were important, and daunting, all at the same time.

"So I've been told. Mine is Dyne." He nodded sternly. "I've been ordered to see that your needs be met, while Natsuki is away with our leader."

"I don't require anything, not as of yet." Shizuru replied softly, and he seemed to nod at this, standing outside of the door, with his back turned to Shizuru.

"You will." He replied, but gave not a hint as to why that would be.

He was not the only one to come bearing gifts of pleasantries, as Shizuru soon found out. She'd only just begun to relax around this man, one dressed in robes not unlike her own, when another man came through the netting entirely. Unfortunately for her, however, he was not so appropriately covered. Over time, others flocked, seeing Shizuru as the oddity that she really was, and try though she might, she couldn't avoid the interested gazes. At first, she kept up the small talk, but even that grew to be difficult. It was then, that the large man would scare away her visitors, and watch her with an appraising eye.

It happened often, and she realized that even the children would try to get a glimpse of her before Dyne would scoot them off, forcing them to go play with the other children. She was often the center of attention, but this, she realized was getting to be just a bit much. She could not hide from the questions that pondering minds sent in her direction, even when her book was opened to another blank page. _I fear I am little more than a stage show._ With the children pointing curiously at her, she had nothing else in which to think.

It made matters worse, when she heard a few of the men, and even one woman speaking about her. She felt as if she were truly an object. _A few well endowed men have come to greet me, bearing gifts of wine and fruit._ As if, it was just another night in the old brothel. That was what the murmurs felt like, as they clashed upon her ears. _When I asked one of them why he happened to be nude, he laughed at me, truly amused at my blush._ She feared what might happen if she were to leave the protective netting, and the gaze of the two strong men that kept watch over her.

"You know, you can peek up from the book now." The one who continued to display himself, hadn't a care in the world as he munched away on some sort of dried meat. "The more you hide from them, the more they'll only watch you. Can't have that now, can we?"

"Leave her alone, Reito." Dyne grumbled quietly.

"Don't call me that." The mutter was low, and exasperated, but still, he accepted the intentional barb as the warning that it was. "Please, call me as Rad." For what it was worth, his smile was friendly, and his gaze was cool and calm. "The other name I regret to say, is one I let go of, long ago. No one calls me that here, and I'd quite like it, if no one began to start."

"I shall do as you wish, Rad." Though Shizuru's smile was merely a token gift at best, he seemed to accept it, even as she returned to the page she was writing. _Rad, he is honestly an odd one. When he first came strutting in here, I was eye level with his manhood, one not at all to be ashamed of. He told me it was because soon he would be gifted yet another child, and in his pride, he wanted to flaunt that which gave him such honor. He has only one wife, something he says many take for granted, and I got the chance to meet her._ She was met with a bored sigh yet again, and when she looked up, she could see Rad watching her.

"May I help you?" In truth, his wandering eyes bothered her, but she had no idea quite what to do about it.

"I'm simply bored, not all of us are as stern as Dyne, you know." As if he was welcomed to do as he pleased, he partook of the wine not far away. At first, he merely took a sip from the small glass bottle. "Besides, you interest me." Taking the liberty of pouring two wooden cups full, he handed one to Shizuru, and then went back to sitting in the corner. "You have quite the interesting story, Shizuru, but I'm sure you know that."

"Rad, do not make me order you again." Dyne replied as he turned to face the man of black hair, and soft obsidian eyes. "Our leader _requests_ that this woman be left well enough alone."

"Is it so much to ask, that I speak to one of my kin in peace, Dyne?" Rad shot back, a threat to his voice.

"I'm afraid you've been misinformed." Shizuru frowned sadly, quite unsure of what he could mean. "I have no kin left, not anymore."

Rad nodded at that, taking the thought into his mind with a sigh. "Perhaps you are right, you are no longer my kin." He had found a new home after all. "However, at one time, we did hail from the same lands. Some of our people escaped through the same caravan. Many people in the end, wound up in the lands of Black Valley, true." Still he shrugged, a soft smile on his face. "Others however, sought refuge elsewhere. Our people, though fleeting, are not lost...merely disbanded. These people may be my kin now, but I still owe you my respects."

A long suffering sigh drifted from Dyne's lips at that. "Rad, get out of there right now, before I drag you out!"

The afternoon came along slowly, and the evening set fire into the sky. A woman had brought Shizuru her dinner, and even stayed around for a welcomed chat that was at least spoken with some idea of modesty. Still, as the sun began to hide from the people, the woman too, took her departure to put her children to bed...leaving Shizuru alone, with only the large Dyne, to look after her. _They all hold each other highly here...everyone._ When left to her own thoughts, she wondered, when had the fear that gripped her mind, slowly slip into peaceful harmony?

When had everything begun to seem perfectly natural? _I do not know how their lives seem to work so flawlessly, but even Natsuki and Nao have dressed traditionally since our arrival. Natsuki has donned robes made of silks, hiding her true form underneath. She keeps hers tied tightly. Nao on the other hand, is more free willed, her bare chest is one that the women have taken delight in, painting pictures upon it. She only wears her pants, leather garb something common among those carrying weapons for fighting._ In fact, now that the children were safely nestled away in their beds, nightly sparring had begun. Those who where nude before, were dressed, garbed in combat ready attire, as they took sharp blades, blow for blow. _It is all so much to take it, but, Natsuki seems so at ease here._

…  
(song on now)

Garbed in tradition laced thickly in time, she found that there was little privacy, as Natsuki kissed her on the lips. The sweet taste of berry wine lingered long after the festivities had ended. Shrouded in a cloak of darkness, small torches of fire painted pictures on the cavern walls. Lovers melting into embraces were not mute, in fact, the sighs echoed through the halls. Shizuru wondered, as she sat at the entrance of her alcove, looking out into the open night, just why these people were different from the village.

A question that lingered the most deeply, was not one Shizuru could answer. "Why are you at ease?" That was thing she couldn't understand. "This place is quite unlike you." The simple statement went without even some basic answer.

Natsuki frowned, pulling away just a little bit. "Hmm." Natsuki herself, had occasionally wondered that. There were many things she could say, but, none of them seemed to fit. "I am a leader to my people. In the end, if I am successful in my endeavors, they'll look to me for guidance." She didn't know if that was what she truly wanted though, having spend a lot of time in Aswad. "Here is Aswad, I may be seen as a future a leader to those in the Black Valley, but, they treat me no differently. I guess it's because I can show my faults here." Surely, that's what it was. "I feel that I can't, anywhere else."

"This Midori woman, she is a strong leader for her people, isn't she, Natsuki?" Shizuru asked then, but she already could clearly see that answer in every single person that lived here.

"I wish that I could be so strong." Natsuki nodded. "I endeavor to be the same type of inspiration for the Black Valley, one day." Although, Natsuki assumed, it was less about Midori's strength in leadership, and more about the way she simply stood, taking in the place around her. "I may not be as charismatic, but, I hope what I can be, will be good enough. I want to be seen as a strong person. A queen that needs no man to be well respected."

Shizuru giggled then, knowing how silly that truth could be considered. "Without a man, how would you produce an heir?"

A blank stare, one that lingered longer than is should have before Natsuki's face flushed, made emerald eyes look away. "Who said it was going to be a monarchy?!" Natsuki wondered idly about that. "Y-you can be a be a great queen, and not have a king in power. I can prove it!"

"Natsuki is quite fearsome, when she truly believes in something." Though, Shizuru knew, Natsuki was such the type to try such an impossible idea. "Sometimes, I must wonder if that is a bad thing." Shizuru quieted then, and smiled softly. "I thought you said you wanted to birth a child of your own?"

"I do..." Natsuki nodded. "I want to be a woman, Shizuru, so that I can conclusively be one type of person. So that I can stand and say that I am what I wish to be, but..." She hadn't ever thought about truly inviting a man into her chambers at night. The thought had never occurred to her. "Nao has promised me, to give me an heir, if that is what I want." Still, Natsuki didn't particularly consider Nao one gender or the other. "As a gift, to me, and my people."

At the look of confusion, Natsuki chuckled a bit at that. "I'm so used to being here in Aswad. Sometimes I forget that laying with a woman would be seen as wrong." That was likely the one thing Natsuki truly hated. "However I extend the question for your ears. What man, with intentions for a true woman, would want me in this state?" The answer would be a negative one, they both knew that. "So...even if I did want that, I would still be stuck on my journey, either way."

"I can't say that I understand the burden in which you carry." Though, Shizuru doubted that she could even try. "I could try to comfort you, but, we both know that will be fleeting." Shizuru wondered if she could continue to offer her body at all. "Once you become a full woman, Natsuki, we will not be accepted. Outside of Aswad, if anyone truly knew what we did..."

"The thought does not occur to most, to think of things like that." Natsuki replied, but she knew well. "I know what I'm about to say, might indeed sound horrible, but it's the only thing I can conclude, as I've seen the suffering that I have." Sometimes, she hated herself for thinking it, but at the same time, she couldn't think otherwise. "The Black Valley needs a ruler, and if they cast me aside, I will be free from that burden." She almost wanted it to happen that way. "Then, I could live here, in Aswad, and be the sinner that I am, without anyone hating me."

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she uttered a vulgarity under her breath in defeat. "I'm afraid, that when I become a woman, and tell my people that I want a queen at my side with me...that I will have to go into hiding." Though, Natsuki assumed that is why she'd come to one very personal conclusion. "If the people of Black Valley deny me, they deserve unhappiness, and even their own demise." If that were the case, she would flee to Aswad without hesitation.

Who couldn't see the truth? How utterly soulful this woman was...and she was indeed not a man. Shizuru could clearly see that, even when no one else wanted to look. It swirled deeply in emerald eyes, and though, Shizuru felt unsure of just what it would mean for her, she could not deny, Natsuki was not of the common mindset. "Such a resolve, deserves recognition." Natsuki was special, beautiful, because of that. The robe of silks fell from Shizuru's body so easily, when she thought of it like that. "I can not promise you, that even I can accept such a sin, especially if I am the one to commit it. However Natsuki, until you fully become a woman, it is my job to attend and ease you." Though, Shizuru knew the truth. "It is also my desire, that I do so."

With practiced ease, she crept over to Natsuki on all fours, pulling her into a kiss, as she slid the robe off of Natsuki's shoulders. This night, among the shuttering sighs of others, they too, would ring out in a quiet chorus of stuttering breaths, hesitant sighs, and hardly whispered confessions. Still, with the fire flickering the reflection of passion on the walls, it was all Shizuru could do, not to feel her face flush the first time Natsuki kissed her in the heated light. Natsuki kissed her lips with the ownership expected of her by now, her fingers cupping Shizuru's chin with a soft caress, as their tongues began to dance.

It was not long before Natsuki had pulled Shizuru's own robes apart, sighing into the kiss as she let her fingers run over Shizuru's soft flesh. The sounds around them were incredibly erotic. Shizuru let her eyes slip closed, listening to the heated whispers that came from other lovers not far away. Some in the distance yelled loudly like the warriors that the nomads could be considered to be. Others, not even a few feet away, begged for solace in the crook of their lover's necks. Hushed moans slipped from between panting lips, as some lovers displayed themselves openly in the moonlight. It was all Shizuru could do, not to follow the chorus, when Natsuki began to tease a pert nipple between her fingers. The sounds of desire, and even the faintest smell of passion was sweeping over the night, bathing everything in sensuality that Shizuru had never before experienced.

When she parted from the kiss, Natsuki gently flipped them over, her long midnight tresses acting like a veil around them. Emerald met crimson in a heated gaze, and Natsuki possessively let her palms run over Shizuru's shapely form, for not the first time, taking in her exquisite appearance, even as short curls shrouded nether lips, and the gifts found within. Her finger tested the pooling desire, and Natsuki could not help but to taste it, as it glistened in the fire's light. "It is my desire, that I attend to you tonight, Shizuru." The flavor was sweet, likely from all of the fruit and wine. As she dipped her head lower, so that she could partake of the soft velvety folds, she couldn't help but smirk at Shizuru's deepening flush, as the pink colored her cheeks in silent admissions that she would dare not say.

"Natsuki..." Even such a whisper, merely a breath into the night, melted into the other sounds of longing embraces and releases. "Natsuki, please." Her sighing breath fall upon deaf ears, as Natsuki's tongue dipped into her for the first time. Her tongue a smooth, cooling sensation against the liquid fire that pooled between her legs at Natsuki's mere insistence.

The night was a night for lovers, drowning in the passions of lust, and as the night continued on, Shizuru could not help but offer herself up, as once of the voices that sang in the lingering calls, begging for their lovers to take them.


	12. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm really excited to get into the Aswad chapters, because these chapters will introduce a lot of new things, and characters who will become central parts of the story later on. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, though, I admit it's a busy one...but next chapter will be quite a bit calmer. Thank you to those who have followed since day one, and hello to a few of you, who've just started following...I hope this story will continue to keep your interest.
> 
> A few questions to answer before we begin!
> 
> Q: If you were to live in one of the places described in Nomad's Log which one would you choose?
> 
> A: Well, there will be several more of them as time goes on, so it's hard to really say. Though many haven't been introduced to the story yet, there are some more "modern" lands. I think, I would choose to live one of those.
> 
> Q: Is the Freedom Nation the best-choice-of-them-all (even if we forget about the illness)?
> 
> A: Quite simply, No. It's best to think about how "idealistic" it is. The characters all have these views on this "great" place, but you also have to take into consideration, these characters have never been there. They have proof it does exist, but beyond that, they're searching blindly. This question actually comes to light more in chapters 13-18 when we start to really dig deeper into Nao and Natsuki's past. I think, really, this toys more with the question of "Is Freedom Nation really the answer to their problems?" Even beyond that, the question is "Have all of the characters chosen the right way to live their lives? Could something else make them happier?" Those are answers they must discover as the story progresses.
> 
> I throw the side note in now, while we're discussing this, that this fiction is going to be touching upon most of the famous areas we think of in Mai Otome, places that actually held a significance...in fact, I'm actually using a lot of it's original elements from the anime, but toying with them in a new way.
> 
> If you think about it, the Aswad are still the Aswad. I haven't changed them up all that much. They were sick in the anime as well, Midori couldn't age, and they all depended on a "cure". The Black Valley was once their homeland, so that, as well, is actually just a story plot I toyed with. Nao was from Artai in the anime, so that too, holds some of her basic roots...and we all know Nagi isn't innocent in the slightest. Romulus and Remus were at conflict in the anime, and we've seen hints of that as well in this story... also, in Mai Otome, a lot of the "bad" things that happened, occurred during the Dragon King War...something I've also used as far as the war, causing the spread of "the illness".
> 
> Q: May I ask the ages of the characters in this story?
> 
> A: The ages are a pretty fluid concept. but in order from oldest to youngest thus far of the main characters, it should look like this: Midori (Aswad in general) Shizuru and Natsuki, Nao. There will be a far larger main cast than this, but as I said, ages are pretty fluid.

**Chapter 10**

A new day meant a new series of trials, ones that seemed to have no end in sighed. With exasperation at the forefront of everything she did that morning, Midori had come to one conclusion. Changes were being made, and they weren't good ones. Morning council ended as one would expect, with the bellowing of overzealous leaders and political figureheads. Midori wasn't one for formality, and she wished dearly things had gone a bit smoother. Still, the things she'd been told troubled her greatly, and in the past few weeks, they'd sent every possible warning sign ablaze in her mind. The most alarming of the news had come recently though, and it was something that had cloaked the meeting hall in darkness.

Even now, when the meeting adjourned, and Natsuki had followed Midori for a more private meeting, and a drink, the news was like that of a gaping wound. "I still can not believe that Emperor Nguyen is dead." Though, they'd all been expecting it for a long time now, a long suffering sigh came from Natsuki's lips at the news. "How's Anh taking it?" While it was true, the Emperor of An Nam was a stern old coot, he was still the type of man to put up a good show in front of others. He had been a kind, if not often quiet ruler. "That had to have just been a tough front before." The man had only one daughter, and now, she would gather his inheritance. "I would have fallen apart back there, if I were Anh."

"Could you blame her if it was?" Midori asked then, though, she doubted anyone could have presented themselves as well as Anh had done in the meeting. "She's doing as well as can be expected, I suppose. She's taking her new task of leading her people in stride, but, it does not come easy, I'm sure." Midori replied numbly, the briefing had lasted all morning, but, they were all caught up to speed. "So, Natsuki, you and I have more pressing matters to discuss."

"The report I gave." Natsuki nodded. "I'm sorry if it seemed as if I was brushing everyone off, but I thought you deserved to hear the matter on a private level."

Midori could only nod her head as she sighed deeply. "So, picking up where you left off. You mean to tell me that my old homeland is that far gone? The Black Valley is so ill?" A deep remorse filled Midori's eyes. "And, there is nothing more you can do?" Seeing Natsuki's own bitterness was enough of an answer. "Damn." Midori cursed as she began to pace about the room, a bad habit she'd acquired by her nomadic nature. "I fail to believe that."

"Our only hope is the cure, and even then, the chances are slim." Natsuki replied as she sat in Midori's personal space within the caverns. "Without even a clue, I hate to say time is dwindling." It was secluded and quiet, the only voices that echoed were the ones that occupied the room. "The fact that Mahya found nothing either, it bothers me." Though, even as Natsuki spoke freely, she was not without the reminder.

"I expected trouble." This woman was deadly. "Just not of this sort."

"It isn't any problem. We can keep searching, regardless." It was here that Midori conducted her most important meetings, and the maps on the table spoke more than what anyone wanted to admit. "Though Romulus seems to have it's own troubles as of late." The small figures that pinpointed important areas, seemed not enough. "Sometimes, I forget that Freedom Nation isn't a goal for many." Who would go seeking something that was merely a bedtime story, after all. "Maybe it is just child's play."

"We know it exists, Natsuki." Midori replied quietly, in a calming manner. "We only need to find it. I know that's hard to do." Though, she had to admit, the meeting earlier, troubled her just as greatly. "Yet, if people can't put their faith in each other, our willpower will never be enough." It was also hard, considering some kingdoms were in a state of despair. "We just have to keep searching."

"It is easier said than done." Rad replied, today, in the presence of his leader, and for this formal meeting, he chose to wear his robes. "There are still many places to explore...but, if Freedom Nation is as renown as it is hidden, I can only guess it is of nomadic people, not unlike those of Aswad." Still, it bothered him, that he'd yet to find his own family either. "You were right to bring Shizuru with you, Natsuki. However, I regret to say, she will likely know nothing of the place we seek."

"That is not a comfort." Midori sighed then. "You'd think she of all people, would know something."

"That is a mere conjecture, Midori." Rad sighed, a little angry that Shizuru didn't know the truth. "Do you not understand? We have not walked this earth as long as you have. Shizuru is young...young enough not to have a single about those horrific days."

"Natsuki, what do you think?" Midori was grasping at straws too, and that was a rarity. "Does that woman know anything?"

"Hard to say, really. I've yet to pry down deeply." Natsuki looked down with regret. "It was a mere fluke that I even came across her, but, now that I have, I realize Freedom Nation is going to be harder to find than we first thought." In fact, it was a disheartening fact that Shizuru hadn't a clue about the truth. "She doesn't know a thing about her past, or the truth about her blood."

"I suspected not, when I talked to her." Rad wondered idly about just how much Shizuru could recall, but he knew for a fact, it wouldn't be much. "You have to remember, Natsuki, most people of these lands believe the poisons were made first, not the other way around." He chuckled then, knowing there was a time even he was so easily fooled. "If they knew our ancestors crafted those poisons from the very distillate we seek, there would be more after Freedom Nation."

"So, wouldn't that be a good thing?" Natsuki could admit, she was still rather unschooled about the situation, but that was what she wished would be the truth. "Other people would want to look for it, we would have allies."

"Yet, we would have even more enemies." Rad replied. "It would no longer be a fable, and we can't risk that."

"No, we can't." The nomads worked hard to keep that tidbit a secret. "It should remain a folklore." Midori replied sternly, agreeing with Rad. "If people knew the truth about the distillate, another war could start. We can not afford more greed to was over this land. We do not need a repeat of the past, either."

"Still, after seeing the Black Valley as I have, I know now, that we can't keep playing it safe." They didn't have all of the time in the world to play idle games. "We need to take a decisive direction. The more we wait, the more lives we will, inevitably, lose." The worse part, however, was Natsuki's own mind, playing tricks on her fears. "Sooner or later, it will be one of us. We don't have that kind of time to waste."

"I agree, but even the best of intentions, takes time." Midori began. "It's a privilege for anyone besides the Aswad to know the truth about the distillate...the two of you have your reasons for deserving it, but I can't hand that information out freely." Midori felt sickened at her own truth however, and that particular pain cut deeply. "If someone with the wrong mindset got a hold of that information, just think of all of the terror that could come of it."

"Think of all the terror that's already out there." Natsuki fired back heatedly. "I've seen horrible things, and I know you've seen even more of it than I have!" The mere thought made her queasy. "I don't know how you can take it."

"I'm not saying that I do it easily." Midori replied bitterly. Her eyes fell onto the folded parchment in the corner of the room, a failing dream collecting dust. "I'm sorry Rad, if I could read your brother's map, we wouldn't have this problem." Still, she hated that she couldn't do even that.

"Give us more time to look for clues, be at least a little rational." Rad intoned that carefully. "My brother, Shiro wrote it for himself only. If only he were still alive, I could ask him accordingly." Rad's brother, however, had died long ago. "I don't blame you, for not being able to read it. I was just being hopeful. I thought that even if it was a relic of the past, that it might bring us closer to our dreams."

Midori continued to pace around the room at that. "The only hints we have, is that Freedom Nation isn't anywhere near Windbloom. Furthermore, it's gotta be to the east. Even then, that leaves a gaping space to travel in blindly. It would be dangerous to set out an expedition group. Yet, we're almost left without any other options." Midori cursed at that. "Are you positive your niece doesn't know something?"

Rad chuckled at that. "Arika knows nothing of her father. It's the way it should be, Midori." With a soft smile, he couldn't help thinking of that overzealous young teen. "She shares a great many of his more, shall we say...trying, attributes. Even if his legacy lives on within her, his endeavor does not, I'm afraid." No, the girl was as foolhardy as a person could get, but she was delightfully good spirited, if not a bit aggravating. "Though, when I think about it, Shiro loved a good challenge."

"Give me more time with Shizuru." Natsuki then, ever so slowly, carefully began to pick her words. "We've already wanted several years, and I'm the one nearest to death out of all of us." If she could get anything out of Shizuru, it would take a calm discussion, and time...plenty of it. "I believe she can lead us in a better direction. However, I think relying on her entirely, is a failed ideal waiting to happen. If I talk to her..." Natsuki bit her lip. "If I told Shizuru the true nature of the cure, I think I may be able to pull some information out of her. I just don't know if it will be the right kind."

"Not yet." Midori told Natsuki. "That kind of information isn't something we can trust her with yet...but, I will give you the time you seek with her. She will prove valuable, somehow." Then, with a sigh, she nodded to Natsuki. "I wish to speak with her as well, on my own."

...

That evening, festivities rang out, as normal among the Aswad. Tonight, a full moon was dancing across the sky, and fairly young boys and girls came prepared for a fight. They came armed, and fought with their parents in combat. Fathers fought with sons, and mothers with their daughters. Gently they would attend any injuries sustained afterwards, giving praise for the attempts, though, it was only the far older children who really stood a chance in the first place. Even so, Shizuru could see the pride in the group, this late night one that many of those children would never forget.

She'd been so caught up in watching the events going on around her, she didn't even notice that she, herself, as the object of study.

"So, this is the forsaken princess, who's blood can kill any man." The woman in front of her had long, red hair, tied tightly in the back. Her eyes shimmered as she stood with power. A silken shirt exposing her entire midriff, left little to the imagination. Long black slacks of leather hugged her lower body, and boots adorn her feet. She was heavily armed, a sword at each hip were likely not the only ones on her person. Knives could easily be concealed in the open shirt, and this woman seemed to practice only a little modesty. A thin, black strip of cloth, the only thing between her breasts and the open air. "Well met, Shizuru Viola." With a smirk, her gloved hand reached out, to grasp Shizuru's own. "My name is Midori, Aswad's current leader."

The woman smelt of fire, and of sweat, having just left the arena after one battle. "Well met, Midori." Shizuru stood then, trying to offer up as much respect as she could, until an arm was placed around her shoulder.

"Here, among my people, we live freely with honor, and partake what simple pleasures that we can." Midori began as she all but dragged Shizuru along with her. "We are a humble people, and don't have much, but what we do have, we share willingly with friends and family." Her eyes, a pale green color, fixated on Shizuru for a moment, before they continued on. "I wish that you address me in kind, a kin of sorts, since I know you have none of your own."

"Really, this is all so much to take in." Shizuru wasn't used to being handled in such a way, unless it was from a drunken man who had intentions towards her. Still, she got the feeling Midori was acting in a manner strictly platonic, and that added just a little comfort. "The kindness of you, and you people, astounds me." Shizuru had expected to be hazed, not welcomed.

"It is not that we choose to be kind to you." Midori said truthfully, as they came to her personal domicile. It was the only tent, and one lavished with some of the best comforts around. "It is, in fact, the other way around." She lifted from the nearby shelf, two large wooden mugs, and filled them both up with a brew. "You choose to treat us without malice, and with a sense of integrity. We will do the same for you." She slid the malted beverage across the table, and took her seat on one of the fine woven chairs that were quite comfortable. "That is how we live." Still, as she regarded Shizuru carefully, she noticed a bit of hesitation lingering in crimson orbs. "Though, our values don't come for free."

Shizuru wrapped an arm around her her chest, a bit protectively as she looked away from Midori's gaze. "I fear, I have nothing to offer."

"You have plenty." Midori had seen enough now, to know Natsuki's words rang true. Still, she felt a test was in order. "I would like to see for myself, just what is so worth Natsuki's time." Shizuru was a very battered, and guarded soul. "I am an inquiring mind." She would need careful, and measured questions. Midori doubted this woman would truly speak freely of the secrets within her past. "I would be permitted to do that, you know." The only question that lingered, was if Shizuru could have faith, or if she could no longer trust. "Natsuki would allow me the privilege."

"She would not." Shizuru said quietly, but her voice was by no means defiant. Her eyes clenched shut, nearly in pain, as she uttered those words again. "She would not let me come to harm."

"My bedding you, would be harmful to you?" Midori's voice found suspicion an easy trick to play. "I would never dream to kill you, or cause you pain." She'd never met a woman so flighty before.

"No, it isn't like that." Shizuru shook her head violently. "It would be...to you...perhaps." Still, the great pain laced over her voice thickly. "If I am forced..." Shizuru swallowed the fear in her voice. "Due to my nature...if I am forced-"

Fingertips scarred by time and war, fell over Shizuru's lips, and Midori regarded her quietly.

"You've answered all that I need to know." Her eyes turned back to the cold stare, like the leader that she was, but, her voice was not unkind. "Natsuki's words have been proven true, and that was all I needed." Yes, this woman was not much of a fighter, and she would never be, if she kept being so fearful of her twisted, yet powerful gift. "You can have faith in that blindly, Natsuki would never go back on her word, intentionally. Additionally, I hope you forgive me of this transgression, but I needed to see for myself of your true nature."

Midori stood up then, with a soft smile on her face. "I will take you to Natsuki and the others, they're waiting for us." Just downstream of the drinking water that sat near the entrance of Aswad, there was a deeper cave where the water was flowing from. It wasn't as if the second flow was drinking water, no, far from it in fact. The steam clouded the air, and it became apparent that this was not the way to clean fresh water, but instead, to a place of a different kind. "I had to test you, but fear not. You passed."

"I am glad I am worthy of that, at least." Still, Shizuru had no idea what to make of the situation.

"First, you must bathe, and then join us in our feast. It isn't every day that Natsuki joins us for celebrations." Deeper in, there was a different pool entirely, and Shizuru realized this one, was teaming with sulfur. "I hope the water is to your liking."

"A hot spring!" Shizuru replied in awe, not having thought that something like that could be found here. "How wonderful."

"Venari, ludere, lavari, bibere; Hoc est vivere!" Midori cheered then, and the few visitors in the hot spring turned their attention to her, holding their goblets high.

"Hail Leader!" Even Natsuki was among them, and Shizuru realized, this must be a trusted few. "Venari, ludere, lavari, bibere; Hoc est vivere!" It was as if they were extending to her the same greeting, some even standing from the water.

Midori disrobed quickly, as she was offered wine from one of her comrades. She wasted no time sinking into the hot water. With that, she lifted an eyebrow. "To hunt, to play, to wash, to drink, – This is to live...that is the creed my people believe in. It would be unfitting for you, if you didn't partake." With that, Midori clapped her hands expectantly. "Where is the welcoming committee when you need one?"

The next thing Shizuru knew, attendants were slowly undressing her with careful ease, gently escorting her into the hot water, where she was then served a goblet of wine, like the others. They were speak in quiet murmurs, but she couldn't understand their words. "I'm sorry I don't speak your tongue at all." Shizuru replied then, just a little embarrassed about that.

"You do not need to speak our language, in order to appreciate a true gift...that can be done wordlessly." Midori explained softly before looking around the room. She thought about that as she partook a grape from the fruit basket near by. "It has been brought to my attention, that many truths have fallen over us like a cloak." Midori finally said, loud enough to call attention to herself. "I ask of you, my comrades, do not feel embittered by these times that stand in front of us. Yet, do not let past anger, seethe inside of you."

"Hail!" And once again, in merriment, they partook of the wine.

"Allow me to introduce you our fold, Shizuru." Midori began. "Surely you know of Natsuki, and Nao...but they are not the only ones, who seek an end to the illness that ravishes the land." The others that were there, were also comrades in arms. The four nearest Midori stood up first. "Rad, Dyne, Lumen, and Gal, are my most trusted nomads. Everyone looks to them, when I can not be here." Then, further down in the group, Mahya waved, but refused to stand. "Then there are those of neighboring kingdoms. Mahya, Mashiro, Yukino, Laura, and lastly Ahn." Many of the faces were new, and Shizuru struggled to keep up.

"It is nice to meet you all." Shizuru nodded to all of them respectfully.

"These people that you see before you are royalty, vagabonds, pathfinders, scholars, and, in some cases, the condemned." Midori took humor in that, as the group watched her speak. "While it is true, that we may not be friends, our common goal is an absolute need. We don't have the luxury to spill any more blood." She turned then, addressing Shizuru directly. "So, while it is true, that many outside of these walls will hate you, I, the leader of Aswad will not. You shall be welcome here, until you give me reason to decide otherwise." She then turned to the rest of the group. "I ask that the rest of you gift her the same treatment."

Natsuki seemed to take courage in that, standing from the water with her newly filled goblet in hand. "She will be a trustworthy sister in arms, she will not let you down."

"Hail!" Even Midori followed in Natsuki's lead, a soft pride twinkling in the eyes of Aswad's leader. "Tonight, my friends, let us forget our troubles, and rejoice! We have lived to see another day, and that alone is the greatest gift! Remember, there are those among our fold who will be greatly missed, but, we must look to the skies with pride in our hears, and never in tears."

"Hail!" The group shouted in return, and this time, even Shizuru joined in.


	13. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey all, I'm back with another installment. Welcome to all new followers, and hello to the familiar faces. Thank you all for enjoying this as much as you have been. Time to answer a few questions to answer before we can begin...
> 
> Q: Was the illness caused, somewhat like nuclear warfare that happened in the past?  
> A: It was caused by the development of toxins that were used in the war. So in a way, you could say it's kinda the same basic idea.
> 
> Q: Is the distillate the most potent antidote for the illness?
> 
> A: We're just now getting into the origins of the distillate. However, it was largely implied in the last chapter that the distillate is what was used to make some of the poisons. It has also been stated that there are rumors and lies spread about the real truth. The characters believe that in a pure form, it can reverse the illness and the madness completely. However, that is character (and reader) speculation at best right now.
> 
> Q: Is it safe to say that Shizuru, or her people, knew the way to Freedom Nation?
> 
> A: The only things we know for sure, is that Rad (once named Reito) is Shizuru's kin. Rad had family (that is now dead) that had maps to Freedom Nation. We also know Arika is related to Rad, and that she's his niece. It was Arika's father who made the maps. It doesn't clearly imply anything one way or the other. This question too, is best left for speculation, and is an important plot point in later chapters.
> 
> Q Are they the one's who knew how to make the distillate?  
> A: No one made the distillate. In earlier chapters, it was stated that the distillate is made by natural means.

**Chapter 11**

The nighttime party had lasted well into the night, without any thought given to the ideal of a hangover the next day. It was with high spirits, and perhaps a lack of modesty, that they fell asleep communally in one of the rooms they had been drinking in. The deep cavers were nice, because no sunlight could call them, not until they were ready to wake from slumber. Still, life could not wait for the particularly lazy, and when Shizuru began to find herself aware of her surroundings, she soon realized that she was not in her intended place. The room was clean from the booze, and everyone else had woken up.

Sleepily, in the distance, she could hear faint voices, that echoed off the walls. "...due to the nature of the task...of course." Voices that sounded like an unfamiliarity. "Though, we believe you and Natsuki would do a far better job. It isn't as if I want to send my niece out there alone with you, of all people." Squinting faintly, she thought it could be Rad, the nude man from earlier that she'd started to take a fondness in. "I'm merely asking you to do this as a friend."

"I'd not dare go north, if we can avoid it." That voice, was most clearly Nao's. She was talking down in the depth of the cave's maw nearby. "Nagi would want to stick his nose into things, and I'd rather he not think to do that. Clearly, you should send them back to Windbloom, where everyone will be safe." It seemed as if she wasn't thrilled with whatever idea Rad seemed to have. "As of right now, I can't protect anyone up there, it's Nagi's land after all."

"That may be so, but the northern kingdoms are the least explored." The voice of Rad again rang out in exasperation. "The two of you know the northern lands better than I do. It would be best for you to go." It was as if he was pleading with her. "If you don't, you'll only be inviting trouble for Aswad." Yet, it also sounded as if it was a mild threat. "You owe us a great deal, this small task should be nothing, for a person such as yourself."

"We aren't your damnable slaves!" Nao shouted and then a clash of blades sounded, the noise a loud booming echo. Shizuru wanted to see what was going on, and rushed to reach Nao's pained scream. Before she could travel deeply into the cavern, where the fighting continued, a hand caught her wrist.

"Stay out of it." It was Natsuki, pulling Shizuru into a comforting embrace. "Nao can take care of herself." Relief flooded crimson orbs as Shizuru buried her face into Natsuki's shoulder. "You do not have to be afraid." Natsuki's soft rumble was something nearing a purr. "Not of the Aswad." Hiding her eyes was the only thing Shizuru could think of to do, knowing they had once displayed a vexed emotion. "Their values are deeply seeded in fighting, but, they would never kill someone they consider a friend."

"It sounded crass." Shizuru laughed, still just a little shaken, as she eased out of Natsuki's hold just the slightest bit, looking at the woman of emerald eyes. "I was worried." It was an understatement, but one that Natsuki, thankfully, ignored.

"Nao's just upset that we're going to be heading into the northern lands." Natsuki replied, gently pushing away a few strands of fawn, merely to cup Shizuru's cheek. "She doesn't want to go anywhere near Artai, but we have no choice." Natsuki turned then, to address a young princess, who had yet to be married. "You were given a casual introduction last night, but, this is important. I suppose I'll give you a formal one." Natsuki bowed to the girl in the middle. "Princess Mashiro, the heir of Windbloom, will be our personal guest on our trip. The two girls at her side, are her guards."

"Hail, Princess." Shizuru bowed her head then, knowing well of her place. One would have to be living in complete solitude, to not know of Windbloom. "It is an honor to meet you." It was one of the richest, and largest of the kingdoms.

"Yeah, well it should be." The young princess didn't pay any mind that she was talking with such disrespect. Shizuru and Natsuki were quite a few years her senior, but Mashiro didn't care. "You all better protect me really well, you hear me!"

"Mashiro, that's not nice!" The louder of the two guards spoke. "Grandma always says, you really need to treat people with respect! Who knows when you may needs help from them, just like we do now."

"What respect?" Mashiro asked then, turning to the guard who was more like a friend than a servant. "With all the food we brought, the least they can do is bow before me!" Indignantly, her hands were on her hips, a glare in her eyes. "We're helping them too."

"Still, you don't have to be so mean!" Soon, the two of them were bickering were both still children in many ways it seemed. Making faces at each other seemed as if it could be a second nature.

"Please, forgive them." Of the two girls that flanked Mashiro, it was the one of midnight tresses, not unlike Natsuki's own, who bowed deeply. "This is their first journey, and I fear they do not handle long trips well." A bit unexpectedly, she pinched both of the fighting girls, and forced them to stop. "This is Arika...please, if she ever becomes a burden, smack her." She pushed Arika down on her knees, and then, she did the same for herself. "I am Nina. Together, Arika and I protect our princess from harm. Please, we beg of you, help us reach Artai safely."

"Why would you want to go there, anyway?" Nao had come up from the caverns below, looking not at all pleased as a gash ran down her arm, the knife still sticking into it deeply. "It's cold, annoying, and has one of the most annoying rulers ever to grace this planet."

"The forsaken prince!" Nina gasped quickly, as she addressed the person she knew to be the true ruler of the northern lands. "I'm sorry! I did not know you would be our escort." Nina said slowly making sure to greet Nao in Artai's truest fashion, falling onto to one knee, as she looked up into the lime green eyes with utmost respect. "Much has changed since your last visit. Recently I was given as gift to the princess. The nuptials are coming up you see, and we must take her to see Grand Duke Nagi."

"I should tan your hide. Bowing before me like that, what an idiot." Nao growled, beyond the point of mild agitation as she pushed Nina onto the ground. "You know better than to do that, Nina." Grabbing her by her leather collar, a more pressing matter was nipping at her mind. "You let Nagi sell you! Oh, I'm going to kill that little bastard." Her voice shook with unrestrained anger at that. "You aren't a prize, you don't let that happen!"

"Nao, stop!" Natsuki ordered then, grasping onto the fist that was headed directly towards the girl. "You know she doesn't have a choice." Natsuki gripped that fist so hard, she could hear Nao's hiss of pain. "Don't punish her for the things he's done, it isn't fair to her."

"No!" Nao roared. "I'm not taking Nina back there!"

"The travel is unsafe." Finally a voice of reason broke through the shock and despair among the group. "They're all still children in many ways. I don't want them on their own." Midori said as she came to put her hands on the princess's shoulders. "Because of that, I shall entrust them to you."

"No need." Nina finally whispered in a shaky sigh as Nao let go of her. "We can go on our own, if we have to."

"I'd rather you not go alone." Midori said wisely. "Princess Mashiro often comes here for tutelage, so that soon she can take her place as a rightful queen. However, it would be nice if she got married, and the Grand Duke has his eyes on her." She smiled down at Mashiro then. "While I don't agree with that boy, seeing as he is merely that, it would still be unwise for her to refuse him. Things have changed Nao, and you need to be mindful of that."

"Nagi's just a pest!" Mashiro spat out, crossing her arms indignantly. "I would never marry him! Not ever..."

"But, you do need to see him, regardless." Midori replied softly, with a gentle mirth. "He is strong, and if he truly wanted Windbloom, he could take it away from you in an instant." She looked at Natsuki, and then a bit more carefully at Nao. "This is a delicate situation, and I want you to take her there." Midori let a sternness into her eyes as she watched Nao's body grow stiff, unhappy with the mere thought of Artai. "You need to return to your homeland soon anyway, Nao. You have a family to look after, and although you may hate him, Nagi is your relative. These coming nuptials concern you too, because of that."

"Come then." Natsuki replied, deciding that this would be a good time to give Midori and Nao some space. "We should look over some maps, and plan our trip accordingly." She wasn't altogether fond of the idea either. Still, she smiled softly at the two guards as they all but dragged Mashiro with them. Natsuki put a hand on the small of Shizuru's back, guiding her away from what she knew would be a very personal matter. Even so, if only for a moment, Natsuki looked behind her, to gaze at Nao, who had begun to lean heavily on the wall...

It was the only spare moment Natsuki could give, before Nao was out of her sights.

"Why should I go back to Artai?" Nao muttered then, with a thick venom in her voice. "I hate Nagi."

"The woman you love is there." Midori said then, as if to ease the salt that had been poured into old, festering wounds. "Is that not enough?"

"Nagi's looking for another fight. He can't help but cause trouble, and everyone in Artai seems to amuse his whims." Nao clutched at the pendant she kept around her neck at all times. "Don't you understand? Even if I wanted to go back, it would only cause distress. The Principality is strong, I know that better than anyone else. That's why, as long as Nagi has any jurisdiction, he'll use that power for things that I don't even want to be apart of." What was worse, was the way the general people thought of him. Thinking of him to be a proper leader. "Even if I wanted to stop him, I'm only the failed prince. The outcast who doesn't even deserve my breath."

"Nao, the battles that took place during the war, were not your doing." Midori said then, understanding the immense grief Nao often kept hidden from everyone as best as she could. "Your birth, it was not a misfortune. You were not a mistake."

"It sure feels that way sometimes." Nao spat, still angry as her blood dripped down her arm. "It's not like I belong there anyway."

With measured steps, Midori firmly, but carefully punched Nao in the shoulder. "Juliet is merely a title name that you will soon be rid of for good. Once we find the cure, you will take your place as the Grand Duke, Nao Zhang. You will get your land back, if, you are not a coward." With that, she forcefully ripped the blade out of Nao's arm, and began guiding her down to the infirmary. "Come on, before you bleed to death."

"Yeah..." Nao replied brokenly, not wishing to think about the upcoming trip. "Sometimes I think death is the only thing waiting for me."

"In a world filled with such times, surely it is easy to think that." Midori believed in sadness as much as she did solid conviction. "However, you do not wish to die, or, you are the type of person who would have taken that path by now." In that, Nao was strong. "Your hopes and dreams have kept you going, there is no shame in that."

"A person can't always dream." Nao said, when they came to the room with the medical supplies. "Sometimes, it'll be a nightmare."

"Is that how you feel?" Midori looked at Nao's gash, relieved that there wasn't any real harm done, though Nao would need stitches. "Listen, I know you don't need any leadership advice from me, but honestly, I think sometimes you and Natsuki can go a little overboard. It's like you've both stopped really trusting other people, or something." She handed Nao a cluster of different herbs wrapped in gauze to chew on, to help numb the pain. "I don't claim to know what exactly went on between you two, but I know something did. You've been different, since you came back."

"Natsuki's taking things harder than I thought she would, that's all." Nao winced when Midori began to stitch her up, but the pain wasn't the worst thing she'd ever endured either. "I thought -ow, damn it go easy- I thought she'd take it better, you know." Still, it wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world either. "She acts happy about it, but recently, she'd been getting a little self destructive."

"Yet you have not?" Midori knew that wasn't entirely the case. "I've never had to administer care to Natsuki after one of her arguments. You on the other hand, are an entirely different matter."

"I'm okay with that." Nao clutched at her leather pants, gulping down a bit of her resolve, that was trying to get away from her. "It's different for Natsuki." Nao didn't exactly know how to explain it, but she had a feeling it would be a bad idea to try. "It wasn't like we wanted to be promised to each other in the first place...we were okay, just being friends. Then, word came in about Erstin, and suddenly, things just changed." Nao hadn't any idea why. "I don't want her to resent Erstin, or to hate me."

"She doesn't hate you." Midori could see that so very clearly. "Love is a difficult emotion. You've found someone in your life that you truly care about, and that's a great thing." She couldn't help but notice the way Nao's blood dripped onto the floor, like an endless puddle of murky waters. "Still, where does that leave Natsuki? The two of you were all each other really had, for so long. She probably hasn't any idea where that puts the two of you now." Midori paused then, to look Nao in the eyes. "Plus, she is your fiance. Even if all the two of you do is continue to deny it, the truth is, you can't avoid the wedding forever."

"Yes, we can." Nao sighed. "I know that we can, we just have to make sure Nagi doesn't get married. As long as he doesn't, Natsuki and I still have time on our hands."

"That's fine." Midori nodded, as she finished her work on Nao's arm, wrapping the new stitching in a bandage to protect them. "Natsuki's right though, don't take your anger out on Nina. She never had any choices in Artai, at least with Mashiro, she's made a few friends." With a subtle smirk, she shook her head, knowing that Nao was really quite the handful. "It wouldn't be right, to begrudge her of that."

...

"Such a pretentious little princess, isn't she?" Natsuki chuckled, watching from afar as Mashiro seemed to annoy, torment, and even befuddle everyone who happened to be in her path. "One would think her to be a goddess, with the way she struts around."

"She may be a little confused." In it's own way, it was kind of cute. "She knows nothing about what it truly means to be a leader." Midori agreed as she sipped her wine. She perched on one of the dusty boulders, watching her land, and her people. "For now, this is all merely a game to her."

"It's a dangerous one to play." Natsuki couldn't help it, she felt transfixed on the little princess. "Nagi is as young as she is, but he's had a far different upbringing. He's young, but, he's cunning. He's inherited every bit of his father's ill-begotten views, even his looks are not unlike his father." She too, sipped on some wine. "Nagi will end in demise, I'm sure of that. It would be wrong for her to get involved with him."

"Having the responsibility of being a ruler on one's shoulders, is not an easy thing at any age." Midori often wondered why, when challenged, she often fought to keep her place. "However, in time, it comes naturally. Any leader really just wants one thing, to prove something, anything." Her conclusion was that this position suited her, having been stuck in it for so long. "Most of us, never got to pick our role...and, even so, we struggle to keep it. We feel that it's ours to have." Midori supposed that was the twisted part of that logic. "Funny, when you think of it that way."

"Rather complacent, coming from you." Natsuki chuckled then, true amusement shinning in her eyes. "I guess you're right though...in our own ways, we're all just a little greedy."

Midori only wished that the same could be said for the princess of Windbloom. "Unlike many, who've suffered the tight bonds royalty, the abuse, and the scorn, Mashiro has endured none of it." With a small smile, and a wistful nod, Midori nearly laughed. "She's not sick, she's not poor, and Windbloom has immense power. A person like her, could never understand people like us." It was, in it's own way, a knife of sorts.

"For the better." Natsuki replied, grabbing some bread off of the low table. "A girl like her, could possibly become even more jaded." Still, as she bit off a large hunk of the bread, she couldn't help but let her eyes wander back to the little princess. "Windbloom isn't ready to see her as their new queen. They'll fall in power fairly quickly."

"What I fail to understand, is how a person such as her, becomes an heiress to one of the strongest kingdoms around." Shizuru couldn't see any leadership qualities in her. "She is unlike any princess I've ever heard of. She lacks any basic morals, let alone the wherewithal to use proper judgment."

Midori pondered that, knowing that there were a great many reasons for Mashiro, and her almighty attitude. "I would think, if I had to take a guess, that it would be her solitary upbringing." Mashiro was indeed a sad creature. Spoiled, and without any true warmth. "Windbloom is a kingdom that is less of the spiritual nature, and more that of a biblical one. They strongly believe in their priests, and the word of the scriptures. Through no fault of her own, Mashiro became gifted with a title that surpassed her years. You can't blame that on her."

"I can't even fathom a kingdom honoring a person such as her. I know it isn't as if they have much of a choice, but even still." Natsuki knew though, that Windbloom was torn between loving the little princess, and hating her. She couldn't blame them, and actually found the divide comical, in it's own obscure way. "Though, we can't exactly say Windbloom is filled with love for her."

"I agree she has much to learn, but, so do her people." The wine today, was something of a dry nature. "Any true leadership needs strong followers." As Midori swirled the dark liquid in her goblet made of wood, she focused on that. "One has to ponder just how fulfilling a life would be, with only servants and priests, to act as companions. In that way, I can only pity Mashiro. She knows nothing of what it means to take honor in her kin. Really, they are to blame even more, for not taking honor in her." It was a truly depressing story. "Those that love her, do so under a false pretense."

"I always had Nao." Natsuki shrugged, a rueful smile on her face. "When Nina was brought to the castle, we played with her a lot too...sometimes, we forgot that she was a slave girl." In fact, that was the thing Natsuki like the best. "I remember when Nao and I would try to teach her things, but she was so much younger than us, and couldn't keep up."

"Important interactions, indeed." Midori stood then, she really had other thing she should be attending to. "That my friends, is the difference between us, and Mashiro." She nodded to Shizuru, but it was Natsuki she pat on the shoulder. "Arika and Nina are the first two real friends she's ever had...even now, I doubt she really knows how to treat them as equals. It's a good thing Arika gives her a good challenge, isn't it?" Rhetorical though it was, the answer lingered in the air, a truth.

Yet, even though Natsuki knew the answer, her emerald eyes couldn't look away from Midori's slow retreat. The mere observation told her everything. To have the makings of a true leader, even Natsuki had growing up to do, and she knew it, deep down.


	14. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We have a tense chapter this round, but I hope it's also filled with the closeness expected of Nao and Natsuki as of this point. These next several chapters will be drowning heavily in character developments, both good and bad. I hope you all enjoy it.

**Chapter 12**

After nightfall loomed over the land like a cloak, sleep found many. An early night had been brought on by rains that were unexpected, but welcome. It soaked the ground, and pelted the fire outside. "Still, I'm not quite sure that I wish to travel to Artai." A few souls who could not find rest, stayed awake to watch the rain, and the fire. "Ever since...that day..." Natsuki closed her eyes shut tight and sighed. "I agree with Nao, Artai is no place for either of us. This is a bad idea."

"You don't want to see your dear grandparents?" Midori's sarcastic remark was met with a long, harsh glare from two other sets of eyes.

"They may have been old, but to sign away their lands to Nagi..." It made Natsuki more than just a little angry. "Was I such a bad person, that they chose a treaty with him, over their own grandchild?" Natsuki felt sick to her stomach, the very thought of them made her feel queasy. "I want nothing to do with Artai, not until Nao changes things." Still, Natsuki knew Nao had demons to face. "I'm going to take Mashiro there, but only because I know Nao would never go back home alone. I know that she needs to do it."

"No offense, but honestly I have no desire to see Grand Duke Nincompoop." Nao had already happily had enough to drink, and had been colorful for most of the evening. "He can toot his own horn all he likes, I refuse to be there when he does."

Midori chortled with a bit of a smirk. "Highly fitting, for someone who drank far more than their fair share, Nao is surprisingly lucid tonight."

"I would claim it to be pure luck." Natsuki shook her head and slowly but insistingly, pulled the empty jug of wine from Nao's hands. "No more, lay down and go to sleep."

"Not at all!" Nao jabbered without any rhyme or reason. "I'll have another." The fact of the matter was, Nao had been quite sleepy and curled up on Midori's leg as a pillow. "The night is still young." It didn't take long before she was out like a light, and Midori could only roll her eyes at the sight.

"Far be it from me, to tell you how to live your life. It's not something my people believe in." Midori began slowly, as she looked out with pride at the sights of hard work. "However, I find that sometimes, the best method to a situation, is to view upon it with an indifferent gaze. Knowing that it will exist, no matter what you do, and accepting it for the annoyance that it is, can often helpful." Such a way to handle things, was what kept her home here in Aswad, peaceful. "I also wish that Nao would consider bringing the woman she loves here, for protection."

"Hmm." Natsuki nodded, but she didn't do anything else. Instead, she finished her wine and the bread that had been buttered generously as a snack. "Maybe." Inwardly, she'd considered the same thing, but hadn't said a word about that to Nao. "Shizuru, you must decided something very important from here on out." Honestly, Aswad was safe, a haven. "Our search for Freedom Nation will only get more dangerous from here on out. You can stay here and wait for my return from Artai, or you may come with me. The choice is yours."

"I would go, of course." Shizuru's answer came easily, as they spoke quietly amongst the heavy downpour of rain. "It's really the only fitting choice."

"This is really not going to be safe." Natsuki said then, giving Shizuru a meaningful glance. "Our families are up there, but, I can't say that I'll be able to keep you well away from them." In fact, Natsuki feared they were going to walk face first into it. "There are a lot of things you've not seen in this world, Shizuru, and I'd like to keep you far away from all if it, if I can."

"I will go, Natsuki." Shizuru said then, her eyes shimmering with the truth of the matter. "You will not leave me behind."

"Just what are you planning." Midori could see through the calculating gaze emerald eyes held carefully in check. "You should know better than to go looking for trouble on your own."

Natsuki sighed deeply, unsure if she wanted to unearth her idea just yet. "Romulus and Remus used to be one kingdom, many centuries ago. After they split apart, they seemed to be fighting all the time. The attack Artai made on Romulus troubles me." In fact, that's what bothered Natsuki the most. She didn't want to go where another conflict could break out. "It seems odd, that the Grand Duke, would want his betrothed anywhere near a battlefront." She nibbled on her thumb, trying to figure out of she was missing anything. "Both Romulus and Remus are scientific figureheads...they're scholars, not fighters."

"You think Nagi is trying to claim something other than land, this time." Midori nodded, knowing it would be quite possible. "Still, you've spoken to their people before, haven't you?"

Natsuki nodded. "I did take some time to look into their many fields of study...neither of the kingdoms are medicinal in nature." In fact, Natsuki found it odd that the people seemed so calm. Considering their close proximity to Aswad, Artai, and the Black Valley. "One would think they'd want to advance their studies on medical research, but they're of a different mindset entirely."

"Even as scholars, they're mystics at heart." Midori replied softly, knowing that was one of the trials in dealing with the desert kingdoms. "Both Romulus, and Remus, have their own reasons for it...but either way, they don't believe in treating the illness." It had angered her, in her younger years. "Their people are spiritual in faith, so, as you can guess, as different as both kingdoms are, they are still one in the same."

That was Natsuki's fear. "I've decided, since we need to travel to Artai anyway, that we should build two travel parties. One will journey into Romulus, and the other through Remus, to meet up at the Artai boarder." They needed to be careful, and find out as much about Freedom Nation as possible. "We need to know whats going on, and get a bigger picture. That's the only way I can think of to do it."

"Border conflicts are common." Even Shizuru, who didn't travel often, knew that much. "I don't see why it should be considered dangerous." In fact, most conflicts she knew of, were actually quite civil, comparatively to a fully drawn out war.

"It's dangerous because it's Nagi." Natsuki murmured absentmindedly, still lost in her own head. "If we do this, we're going to have to be careful."

...

Their last day in Aswad was spent preparing for a long journey ahead. Nao spent her time sharpening blades, and Natsuki took her time counting rounds, and mixing powder for her gun. They packed several days of food and water, overstocking for good measure. They also took the time to stock up on more wine, which they knew they would need once their water supplies ran dry. It was odd, however, when Shizuru saw Natsuki grinding away at a plant, as if trying to turn the dried leaves into flakes carefully. Still, there was a sense of something rushed in Natsuki's stance, and that bothered Shizuru.

When she got closer, she realized why.

With only one emerald eye open, and Natsuki's brow covered in sweat, it was no doubt what was happening. Her breathing was erratic, her body was shaking. Blood dripped from her lip, it appeared she'd bitten it on accident once already. "You need to rest, Natsuki." Shizuru came to her side urgently, but Natsuki wasn't going to listen, that was made clear by her determination, she pushed Shizuru away from her, and continued to grind the leaves.

"No..." She spat away the blood that lingered on her lips. "I can't." Still, in futile effort, Natsuki continued to grind the herbs that she'd acquired in case something like this happened. "Not now." Natsuki coughed with a raspy voice filled in a nauseous pain. With shaky hands she manage to get it into the cup of water near by, and that's when she couldn't withstand it anymore. Her hands were unable to steady themselves. "I can't stop now."

With defeat Natsuki helplessly gave in, as Shizuru pulled her into a sitting position, tilting with wooden cup to Natsuki's lips. "You need to rest, now, Natsuki." Shizuru murmured into Natsuki's ear, holding her close. "Drink the medicine, and rest."

"I...I can't..." She breathed out, the room around her was getting fuzzy. "I...can't..." Still, she wasn't going to listen. "Let go!"

Shizuru had seen this before, and knew instinctively to keep Natsuki from moving around. "Stay here." Such early signs, but they spoke volumes. "It's just a fever. It'll go down." Though, there were times when such a thing wouldn't happen. Natsuki was a fighter though, Shizuru knew it. "It'll go down." Shizuru fought to keep her own heart steady, not wanting to alarm Natsuki any more than she already was.

"It won't!" It was a strangled scream as tears trickled down from her eyes in a steady stream. "It won't!" In her panic, her flailing around grew worse, but she was disoriented, and weak, having hid her condition for most of the day. "I'll spit black..." She cried then. "I don't want to spit it!" Her fractured screaming was horrific, but so too, was her true inability to control her body at all.

She was so utterly weak, she couldn't even push Shizuru away from her.

"It's alright, Natsuki." Shizuru was beginning to hope she wasn't lying. "It's alright..." Dark bile seeped from her mouth like a goop, and Natsuki couldn't stop herself as it flowed freely, like a river. "It's alright." A tense few moments slipped by, but soon, like all who have bouts of the madness, Natsuki's eyesight blurred, and she fell into unconsciousness.

It was so common in the castle town of the Black Valley, that it was a daily sight. Shizuru knew this was actually mild, but it didn't ease her mind at all, as she placed Natsuki flat on the floor. With a sigh, she took a cloth, and soaked it in water, before placing the cool, damp rag on Natsuki's forehead. Upon inspection of the herbs, Shizuru saw they were the medical blend from earlier, and she wondered idly, why Natsuki hadn't prepared it in advanced.

With a worried glance, and then a relenting sigh, she proceed to resume grinding the rest of them. Just in case the woman needed them, never venturing far from Natsuki's side.

…

It hadn't been long after Natsuki passed out, that Nao came rushing to the scene, having heard the tortured wailing.

The sight for her was something that she met with little more than a roll of her eyes. With a grumble of annoyance, she began to clean the floor, and Natsuki, of the toxic mess. Even in her sleep, the bile continued to seep from her lips as it bubbled from her gut. Her coughing fits were horrible, as her lungs fought for air...occasionally, it sounded as if she were drowning, even if that wasn't the case. The entire time, Nao continued to sweep away the muck. It took several buckets of water, and a change of clothes, before Natsuki was somewhere near the ideal of clean.

Even then, the rank smell of vomit covered the room thickly. "Moron..." Nao's voice softly chastised, as she smacked Natsuki's cheek softly. "Sleeping like a baby...she'll be out all day at this rate."

"You've encountered this before, does it happen often?" Shizuru knew though, with how Nao had reacted, that was an unspoken truth.

"It depends." Nao shrugged as she looked down at Natsuki's prone form. "I guess, in a way it happens a lot. She's vomited like that ever since we were little. You've seen all the scars on her body...those wounds aren't just superficial." Though, some of the other symptoms, they were new, and those ones bothered Nao. "Natsuki was born of a mother who had been treated with very strong substances. Natsuki has poison that builds up in her, just like yours does within your blood. However, unlike you, her body can't get rift of it naturally...so, sometimes she get's a little sick."

Shizuru sighed then. "I've only seen it happen with the madness, I had no idea it could happen other times."

"Rarely." Nao nodded as she brought a clay bowl over from corner, flipped it upside down, a wrapped it in a cloth, propping Natsuki's head on it. "There are all kinds of illnesses, and not all of madness's are the same either. It depends on the types of poisons used in the region." Sleep was one of the few times Natsuki seemed completely at peace, and without her guard up. "Anyway...for her...all of that...stuff...is normal." This type of sleep, however, was unlike that of restful slumber.

"I already know." Shizuru said then, a concern in her voice. "Natsuki has the madness, I've known for a bit."

"Natsuki doesn't like to admit it." Nao replied, when she'd seen the flush on Natsuki's face, and the nonsensical cries she made in the depth of sleep. With an annoyed breath, she leaned her back upon the mouth of the alcove, sliding down the wall. "She likes to pretend she's strong, and in some ways, that's an unhealthy denial." Nao wondered idly, why Natsuki hadn't admit to the fact that the madness was slowly, but surely getting worse. "It's why she can't travel alone." Nao observed with uncaring eyes, as though this was so common, that there was no reason to worry anymore. "We always have to go together."

"Why doesn't she just ask for help?" Shizuru's voice was laced with a bit of anger, but mostly guilt. "She has so many she could rely on."

"Why should she want help from anyone?" Nao replied, a bit of bitterness wasn't anything uncommon, but this was different.

"For several reasons, I assume." Shizuru, however, began to wonder that, when Nao remained silent. "Most of all, so that she can finally get what she wants. She needs help to do that."

"Natsuki has her own goals, but we all do. She knows that, and so, she tries to deal with it herself." Nao smirked then, understanding at the forefront of her voice. "Natsuki's been around ever since I can remember. Her grandparents held strong ties with my uncle. Because of that, I guess you could say we've been doomed to get stuck together." Though, Nao wouldn't admit it, she was glad for that. Natsuki had become an important friend, and a strong ally. "She's actually supposed to be my fiance, but the day we actually comply with that, is the day hell freezes over."

"An arranged marriage?" Shizuru didn't know why she found it surprising, especially if the two were childhood friends. "I doubt Natsuki would ever want to be told who to love."

Nao nodded. "I feel the same. I have a person I love, and I intend to make her my wife. Natsuki's happy for me, that I'm going to be a father." Though, Nao worried about that aspect. "The only problem, is that no one knows I've bedded a woman already. No one knows I have an heir on the way." Though, when Nao saw Natsuki in this state, she had to admit, some ties were deeper than could ever be explained. "Still, Natsuki's an important person to me, and, sometimes..." Nao sighed a shaky breath, and her resolve for the situation began to crumble. "Sometimes, I think about that, and I realize that I wouldn't be able to take it, if she dies on me."

"Tell me about her...the woman you love." Shizuru's request was met with a bit of hesitation. "Please, keep my addled mind busy." She requested as she changed the cloth on Natsuki's head. "I can't stand this intensity."

Nao sighed, leaning her head on the rocky wall that glimmered with freckles of minerals. "I'm one year her senior. She has blond hair, and blue eyes. She's shy...and just a little quiet, but I like that about her." Nao licked her lips, she could recall hearing the sweet voice, one so soft that it played in the wind. "Her name is Erstin Ho."

"Ho, as in the first family to instigate the great war?" Shizuru had remembered reading about them. "They were once a wealthy family. The Ho family, and my own, they fought often. We were bitter enemies, according to what little I remember."

"She is from that family, yes." Nao said easily. "However, you must also remember, many of the northern lands were invaded and claimed by my late uncle, Archduke Bel Glan De Artai." Nao was glad he was long gone, and even saying his name stirred angry memories. "The kingdom of Anna, was one of the ones taken over. Now, the Ho family aren't considered royalty." It was hard to admit, but Nao missed the young woman dearly. "Men are considered dominate in Artai. Women should be considered quiet and well mannered. Erstin is all of that, but, she is also a person who loves freely, and gives generously. She is, more or less, a peaceful woman."

"Well mannered and quiet, are two things Natsuki most assuredly isn't." Shizuru said then, with just a small smile on her face. "She isn't anything of what a proper woman should be." Shizuru wanted to laugh, but couldn't find it in her heart to do so, as it sank. She knew Natsuki would wake up, but it didn't ease her heart at the moment. "Ironic, considering her fondest wish." Still, Natsuki was strong, perhaps, just as forthcoming as Midori, in her own ways.

Nao shook her head. "I fully believe, if we had been born without the illness, Natsuki and I would have complied, and gotten married." Nao took the cloth off of Natsuki's forehead, blotting away the sweat on her neck, and even went so far as to unbutton Natsuki's top. "We both have this sense of unspoken understanding. We've always looked after each other...and, we were both taught a very direct way of living." Perhaps, that's why the illness was their blessing in disguise. "Maybe, it was because we both were so afraid of death, that we told the people of Artai that we would return one day." Nao frowned at that.

If it were any other time, the sweat pooling in the valley of Natsuki's breasts would be at least somewhat alluring. Now though, it only brought a lingering concern. "Once we started traveling, and seeing the world, we realized there was more out there. At first, we visited home often, but now, we stray further and further away, and the more we do, the more we both want different things. Our goals, while one in the same, are completely separate now. She'll always be my friend though...always."

Nao paused, and handed Shizuru the cloth. "I really should go get back to packing...you should strip her down, bathe her, and dress her in something dry. Her fever will break a few more times, as it always seems to do." It was, in it's own way, a surrender. A way to prove she was no longer bound to Natsuki in such a way as love. "I'll leave her, in your care." Nao had a new love, one she'd chosen for herself...and in the pools of red irises, she could see the traces of longing in Shizuru...Natsuki would be in good hands. "Don't let me down." Nao fully believed that.


	15. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would start singing on the road again, in an annoying voice, but I think you've already gotten the idea that soon they'll be going to a new kingdom, (one where admittedly things will get kinda dark for a while...) in any case this chapter will make up for the "loveliness" of last chapter, at least, I hope. Midori will also now be considered one of the main cast members and that's a theme that you'll start to see more and more often as time goes by. I've played far to many RPG's growing up, but one thing I've learned is that's a great way to slowly develop each character so, yeah, that's kinda what's going on here.
> 
> Thank you to those who are keeping up with the story. For those who've just started following, not to worry, this story is just underway, truly. There will be much more to be had.

**Chapter 13**

The call of first light was a time for many to begin making breakfasts, care for their families, and do the longs list of tasks chosen for that day. The caves were always in need of new support beams, and while it was true that the rocks offered protection, they were often sharp. There wasn't any end in sight, the upkeep needed to live in the harsh conditions seemed to stagger on the brightest of days. With the new raids, there was even more work to be had. However, while most had just started to tend to the chores, there were others who had already been up for hours.

Preparing for a long departure was never an easy thing to do.

"Shizuru, I'm not an infant. I don't need to be coddled!" Natsuki growled as she was placed in the wagon with the help of a steadying hand. "Would you let go of me already?" It was embarrassing enough, having someone fuss over her in the privacy of the alcove, but out in the open, it was an entirely different situation. Natsuki didn't like it. "I'm perfectly fine." Natsuki was trying to look that way, but Shizuru's sigh told her otherwise.

"You are not." Shizuru could see through that deception quite well. "You still seem to have a fever, and you're not in the least ready to be gallivanting around in the hot sun." If that weren't enough, the dark circles under Natsuki's eyes indicated she hadn't slept restfully recently. "I understand that we don't have time to await your full recovery, so, you should at least rest in here." Her voice was pleading, but her eyes stated clearly a solid demand.

"I'm well enough to ride my horse." Natsuki shot back, breaking the tranquility of the morning with her shouting. "I'm not going to just keel over, Shizuru, I have things to do, and people to see." She had a world that awaited her, and she wasn't about to let it pass her by stranded in bed. "I can do this on horseback, you've no need to worry."

"Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should do it." Shizuru replied then, relieved that Natsuki was at least well enough to have a temper. "You should rest, now and enjoy the idle time." Last night, Shizuru doubted Natsuki would be in such high spirits, with the way she kept breaking fevers in delirium. "I'm not asking for the impossible, just a few hours." In Shizuru's mind, she feared what might happen, if Natsuki were to stay in the heat for any length of time. "Natsuki, please don't push yourself unnecessarily."

"You really are upset, aren't you?" Natsuki's question, though perturbed, was softer than her bellowing from before. "Nao will get the two of you lost, and if you think I'm sick now, just wait until I'm out of medicine." Natsuki shook her head. "I don't have the luxury to just lay around, Shizuru. If I do, who's going to lead the expedition?"

"I'd thought I'd tag along." Midori said as she looked inside of the wagon, waving at Natsuki. "While you were out cold, I talked with Rad. He'll stay here and look after things, so that I can go with you." With that, she handed Natsuki a flask of medicine already blended and prepared, stepping inside and sitting on the floor. "You said that you wanted to have enough people for two travel parties, so we're preparing our caravan for departure now." As Midori said this, she partook of the bottle of wine that was sitting on the floor, pulling out the cork with her teeth. "We've packed enough, so that when we're through in Artai, we can decide where to go next."

"That doesn't bode well." Natsuki frowned deeply. "I don't want to attract attention to ourselves either, Midori." Natsuki had a bad feeling it was going to be an ungodly number, and with baited breath, she nervously unscrewed the top to her flask, sipping the mixture inside with a scowl. The taste was bitter, and grungy. "How many people do you intend to bring with you?" She took another, smaller sip, forcing herself to swallow, even though she would have rather spit it out.

"Well, there's Mashiro, and her two guards, Arika and Nina." Midori began, counting off of her fingers. "That's three that have to go with us, and then, I thought I would prepare my usual group." Midori didn't seem to pay any mind to Natsuki erratic coughing as she nearly chocked on her medicine. Looking up at Natsuki's spluttering, Midori only shook her head. "Go easy, I made that one a bit strong."

"You're taking the usual group with you?" The woman in bed sighed, knowing well of those implications. "That means that you intend to get drunk every night, doesn't it?" Natsuki queried flatly, already guessing the answer. "I hope to the heavens you don't get any harebrained ideas, we have novices with us." Natsuki looked over to Shizuru, and felt another pang of guilt wave over herself. "And I'll bet you've still got your heart set on going too, don't you." Shizuru's nod was all it took for Natsuki to roll her eyes. "Does anyone here understand anything about subtlety at all?"

"As if you do?" The voice that came from the outside seemed to be strained. "I, for one, am happy Midori wanted to come. I just hope hope to god, she has the liquor to sustain all of us." Nao grunted as she came to plop down a box of supplies. "There, that's all of it." She gasped for air. "We're ready to get out of here as soon as you are."

"It's wonderful that you're ready, but what about me? I'm stuck in this bed." Natsuki muttered with pleading eyes, looking at Nao for help. "According to her, I can't travel in these conditions."

"You shouldn't point, it's rude." Still, as Shizuru caught Natsuki's hand in her own, she kissed it. "Natsuki, please, just rest for now."

"I'm alright, really, you don't have to worry, Shizuru." Though, with the others looking at her in concern, she was beginning to wonder about that. "Nao, tell her." Natsuki hated the look that the pair of lime green eyes gifted her. There was a lingering undercurrent, and it wasn't one Nao happened to show often. "Nao, come on..." Natsuki pushed again, trying to get a response. "Tell her I'm alright."

Nao shook her head, she wasn't going to buy it. "Your horse is already rigged to the back with some rope...she'll follow." Nao knew that it would follow them anyway, it was hopelessly devoted to Natsuki in that way. "You should stay in bed...things got pretty bad this time. You worried Shizuru a lot." Subconsciously, she put her hand over her bandage, and sighed. "You don't normally sleep for as long as you did." She could wait to have her own stitches removed.

Natsuki could tell, with the hint of worry still in Nao's voice, that Shizuru wasn't the only one she'd managed to upset this time around. "Fine..." Still she hated being in the confined space. "Midori can lead the way until we get to the boarders of the oasis. Then, I'm in charge, got it?" Her emerald eyes dared to question them, and when everyone else nodded, it was Shizuru who remained unconvinced. "I'm the one who wants to find more information out, after all. I have an idea of what Nagi may be looking for."

"We shall see, Natsuki." Shizuru remained true to her original ideal. "I think you shouldn't be out of bed." Handing Natsuki one of her blank books, and a map Nao had instructed that Natsuki would like, Shizuru prayed it would be enough. "Until then, you should plot our visits. Once we reach our destination, I doubt we'll have any time for peace."

"Shizuru, why not keep Natsuki company in the wagon." Nao said then, trying to ease Natsuki a little bit. "Your horse will easily follow if ordered." As she fastened down the box to one of the little hooks on the wall, she looked over to Midori. "Let's get going...we're wasting daylight."

...

Natsuki spent her time in rigorous study. At first she'd been contented to simply jot down notes. Soon, before she knew it, she was mulling over a few of her maps. Ones that up until now, had remained incomplete. The one currently in her lap troubled her. She eyed it with a bit of annoyance, and no small amount of indignation. "It's no use...I just can't recall where a few important landmarks were." She looked back at her old map that was stained with grape wine. "The ink was still quite wet when Nao had tripped over me, so sadly, the wine washed most of it away." Everything else was faded, and Natsuki sighed, she needed this particular map, and she needed it now.

"Just what was this supposed to be, anyway?" Shizuru could see from the old one, that it showed the areas near Romulus and Remus, but anything else had been unidentifiable. The wine had tinged the darker paint colors, and managed to smear others.

"Hmm." Natsuki looked up, and took a sip of her medicine flask, thankful the dose was almost gone. Dearly, she wished she could be rid of the bitter taste that the medicine gave her. "If you pull the door under my cot open, you'll be able to get to my map compartment." The explanation was met with an expectant gaze and Natsuki shrugged. "There's one, very large map in there. I can't unravel it easily, so I normally don't...but if you want to see something interesting, you can spread it out on the floor."

Shizuru, with an interest, opened up the compartment door, pulling the thickest roll of canvas paper from it's dwelling. It wasn't any surprise that it perched on its very own shelf. As she unrolled the long tube, taking time to put one of the metal weights on the corners, she could see Natsuki's full colored masterpiece. Something she'd been working on for a long time. "A map of the world?" Shizuru asked then, feeling the strokes of ink that had been dried for quite some time. "Did you do all of this yourself?"

"Not entirely on my own, no." If only it were that easy. "I have Nao, Midori, and a lot of scholars to thank." The shelf above her bed kept her travel logs all in finely arranged order. Natsuki grabbed one of them, and handed it to Shizuru. "When I first started travailing with Nao, I wasn't very good at drawing maps. I had no idea how to pinpoint locations either, so we got lost a lot. My earliest attempts are in that book." The drawing were little more than scribbles when compared to the map on the floor.

"These are quite cute." Though, Shizuru inwardly had to agree. They looked to be something a mere child made. "Inaccurate, perhaps. Still, quite interesting in their own way."

Natsuki merely laughed at that, seeing beyond the kinds words. "I soon came to find that a true nomad, who seriously wants to find something, makes a map only they can read. In order to decipher it, they'll also keep a compatible log of everything they've done, and what they've seen." It wasn't the only thing a nomad would do though. "Large maps however, can only truly come together once a small map of an area is made. Over time, the pieces fit like a puzzle, and you can train your mind to learn exactly where you are, and what to look for to get to your next destination." Natsuki frowned, that was part of her problem. She couldn't recall where to place particular landmarks.

Shizuru noticed that there was still a lot of empty space, but even so, it was astounding. "So, every place here, is a place you've visited, at least once?" Her fingers trailed over names and places that she was sure could only be a mere fluke. "This is quite the map." Even more, Shizuru felt the draw of something unfounded...something truly stunning. "I can't imagine visiting all of these places."

"Some of them, I've no need to go back to, but you'll visit most them." They couldn't remain out in the open forever. Sooner or later, they'd have to stop for supplies, and proper rest. Natsuki knew stopping early and often was a key to survival, and she and Nao made a point to linger for at least a day in most places. Natsuki pulled the blanket off of her form, as she carefully stood up to get near to Shizuru. Pulling a little more at the scroll, she pushed it all the way to the wall, showing Shizuru more of the long map. "Have you ever wondered about the history of your family?"

"Occasionally, but then I just remind myself that no matter what I may want, it would likely be best not to know." Still, there were times Shizuru wished that she had someone, anyone, she could ask. The questions that would surface in her mind weren't always a comfort. "My family was very secretive." Shizuru knew that had to do with her age the most. "They even hesitated to tell me of particular things."

It was time to start asking real questions, Natsuki decided. "See this boarder between Black Valley, and Artai?" Natsuki pointed at it, following the line. "This was your homeland." She tapped one spot that had a small crown shaped symbol, and breathed softly. "Your fortress still stands there, although, it is like mine...merely a figment of it's former glory." In truth, the place was in shambles.

"You've seen it." Shizuru's eyes shot up from the map. "Did you go inside?" She gulped when Natsuki nodded her head quietly. "It was such a grotesque sight, Natsuki. I'm sorry you had to see it." She couldn't remember a lot from back then, but if she closed her eyes, she could see blood...pools of it everywhere. "Sometimes, if I close my eyes long enough, I can see those things."

"I may not know anything of what you suffered though." Natsuki began, feeling a little guilty. "But I know it was not you, who caused the suffering of your people. You are not to blame, Shizuru. I know that." Natsuki had thought that the relic she'd found back then was merely something of little importance, but now, she felt as if she didn't have the right to keep it hidden any longer. Reaching back into the compartment for her maps, she pulled out a box lined in velvet, where she kept a few of her treasures. Most were small, idiotic little things, but, she knew this particular item was nothing of the sort. "Part of what I'm supposed to do, when I explore, is take things I find that may have some merit. I took this, and now, after having met you, I feel as if it can no longer be mine."

Natsuki picked out a small, circular case made of wood, Shizuru knew instantly what it was. "My music box." It was one of her favorite things to play with as a child. "Out of all the silly things to find." Her voice lingered in a state of awe, as she smiled softly.

"I liked the song it played, so I took it." Natsuki shrugged. "It just stood out to me, for some reason."

"Do you know, it's been in my family for a long time. It was my mother's, but even before then, it had been a gift passed down." Shizuru let her fingers run over the finely crafted wood, something she hadn't done in years. "I used to love to play it over and over again, and dance in my room." Those days were long gone. The child she had been, had slipped away into that past...a ghosting dream of what life used to be. "I was for the most part, a very happy child back then. I always wanted my father to teach me how to dance, because I envied how well my mother could glide across the dance floor at parties."

"Yeah, your father talked a lot about his family." When a questioning look shimmered in crimson eyes, Natsuki sighed. "I didn't only take the music box. I also took a lot of documents of your father's, but those aren't with me. I keep those safely locked away in the storeroom. Aswad often finds them useful, and so do I. He was a man of odd, yet firm beliefs, and studying them helps us to understand the toxins your family used." Though, Natsuki had been meaning to ask about unclear details, she'd been afraid to hurt Shizuru with any personal thing of that sort. "I actually wanted to talk to you about it, but, I couldn't ever seem to find enough time."

"Even though I want to help you, the details aren't something I was told about." Shizuru was rather young at the time. "Unfortunately, I don't know much about my homeland. My family was horribly sick by the time I was born, and unfortunately, by that time my father wished not to speak of it." Though, Shizuru had asked him why it hurt many times, he could only offer her tearful apologies. "I was just a child when the last of my kin died in your homeland. Really, if you think about it, most of my life, I lived in the Black Valley. I regret to say that I just didn't have the awareness needed to fully understand things before then. I was simply a little girl."

Natsuki nodded, not at all disappointed. "I thought that might me the case." In fact, inwardly she was happy Shizuru couldn't remember things clearly. "Honestly, if you can believe me, it's how it should be. No one should ever be forced to remember the things that went on there. It's likely best, if it remains an unknown truth for both of us."

"I wish I could believe that." Shizuru said then as she licked her lips. "I know that I haven't seen all the things that you have, but I've seen enough of the way you look at me. The way you see something no one else sees." Shizuru just didn't know what exactly that was. "I just can't figure out what that is."

"Shizuru, trust me." Natsuki said, grabbing Shizuru's hand in hers, pulling it to her heart. "Just..." Emerald eyes fell down to the map under them, and she sighed. All of the colors in the world, painted like art, couldn't explain Natsuki's thoughts. "There are things I can't tell you. Things about you...and the distillate...and even Freedom Nation. I wish that I could, but I can't." Those secrets weren't hers to tell, after all. "I need you to trust me."

"I do." Shizuru murmured quietly, it was hardly carried in her breath. "I promise you that I shall continue to do so."


	16. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The next update will be a big one, because it'll be a Nomad's Log chapter, along with that update...so you'll get a double post on that day (when I get around to it). Still, even so, this chapter is pretty easy going. Things will begin to take a turn next chapter, so let's enjoy the calmness of the characters while we can. It seems like we've picked up a few newcomers as of last chapter. So, hello to the new followers, and welcome back to those of you who've been following since day one.

**Chapter 14**

The heat of the day was a dry one. At first, there wasn't any wind at all, the flora, while scarce seemed to protect the fauna that lingered around in the open sands. Scorpions, snakes, the occasional wild [dog](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9163434/16/), all seemed to be used to humans near the oasis. The further they traveled, the more things changed. Once they reached the dusty desert ahead of them, no grass in sight, it was time to plan the best method in which to do things.

On the outskirts of the oasis, there would be many chances to get lost, or sidetracked.

To make matters worse, dust storms were likely going to be in full swing before anyone had a chance to [prepare](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9163434/16/) for it. The afternoon sky called for it, and even the animals took shelter. While it was true most nomads could deal with these unexpected weather conditions, it would still prove unlucky. Those who were untrained would have to take refuge in the wagons, least they get separated from the group. With the storms on the rise, it would not be a wise idea to keep their groups so closely packed together.

They had jobs to do, and people to protect.

Now wasn't the time for idle snooping into the affairs of others. Still, it couldn't be helped. Natsuki needed information, she couldn't wait for another time. Romulus likely needed [backup](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9163434/16/), aide would be hard to find on their own. If that weren't enough, Nao demanded to see the carnage that Mahya had so colorfully ranted about. It was a tough choice, but Natsuki was finally steady enough on her feet to study the area.

There would be no doubt that soon enough visibility would be hard to come by. If they were truly unlucky, the winds could even damage the wagons. Midori had already come to the same conclusions.

They'd have to split up from here.

"If we go due north, we will surely run into Romulus. Now though, I'm starting to doubt if that is truly a good idea." With as bad as the storm was, it might be better to find a cave to hide in. "If we ride in a northeastern disposition from here, we can avoid the storm." Natsuki explained. She and a few other nomads spoke in a huddled discussion over a makeshift table. "It would be the safest route."

"If we do that, we will all have to travel though Remus together." Nao grumbled, not at all compliant with the idea. "I don't think they would appreciate a mob."

"No, perhaps not." Midori nodded as she looked at a few of the points she had marked. "There's a cave to the east, we could make camp, but we'd lose time, and possibly supplies. That particular cave is full of water at least, we wouldn't have to worry about our animals."

"Either way, that would eventually carry us through Remus." Natsuki sighed. "I don't know about you, but I don't want to backtrack."

"If we seek shelter, we'll have to make camp, and that will take time. If we go to Remus, we can't inspect the damage that Romulus has taken from Artai." Dyne uttered as he crossed his arms. Even away from his homeland, he was one of the few to dress in robes, though he left them open, his bare chest on display for all as a sign of his power. "Honestly, after having Mahya return spitting rants left and right, I feel as if we should look into it. They may need help, and we know they'll get none from Remus."

"I agree, Dyne." Midori nodded as her eyes lingered on the map they all stared at, one of Midori's own creations. "However, there are no rest areas to the west, from here on out. If the storm gets bad, we risk hurting the princess we're commissioned to protect." As if that were not bad enough, she pointed on a spot idly tapping the canvas paper. "Right around here, there are defensive mines that protect Romulus. They extend about a half a day's hike through the territory. We can't bring our large caravan through that. A smaller group would have to go."

"It may be a risk worth taking." Natsuki muttered then, as she looked over Midori's migration routes. "Though, I can't say for sure, just yet." They were not unlike her own, Natsuki noticed, a small trickle of pride dripped into her heart at a that. "The mines only extend so far, and I know for a fact we can weave around most of them on foot." It was proof of how much she had improved. "Honestly, I think Remus has something to hide...however because of that, I feel as if you should travel through there. It'll be safer for those Windbloom girls."

"What about you?" Midori asked then. "Are you sure you've rested enough to show Nao the way to Romulus?" The windstorms were deadly if a person wasn't prepared, and everyone knew that. "You still don't look of good heath." The dark circles around Natsuki's eyes were enough to make Midori worry. "You also don't have any more medicine prepared, in case things get bad again."

"I'm as well as I can be for the moment. It takes time to fully recover, but, I'm used to this." Natsuki nodded, showing that her flask was empty. "I'm sure I can ride."

"What my concern is, is that if we go through Remus, Nagi may try to cover something up." Nao was sure something was going on. Nagi liked to hide his plans in the shadows. Yet, when he was overtly starting conflicts, trouble always came on the horizon. "Natsuki and I should go through Romulus. It's my cousin starting the trouble. It's my burden to bear."

"I don't know." Midori wasn't fond of letting them go on their own. "I hate to say this Natsuki, but you don't look so well. If there was a storm, you'd be in trouble."

Emerald eyes glared at that. "Honestly, I would like to go." Natsuki wouldn't relent, and refused give up. "I want to see if the scholars know anything about this." It was a book she'd found in the bothy. "It's written in a script that I can't understand." The pages were torn, yellowed, and words were hard to see. Time had faded them, and like had battered it. droplets of dried blood crinkled the pages, and ink spots made the script sloppy.

"May I see the book?" One of the female nomads asked, and Natsuki handed it to her. "These are indeed texts of the desert lands." She thumbed though the pages, of clearly medical text, but she couldn't understand enough of the words. "It's an old language." she agreed. "One that isn't used often, at least, not anymore." In fact, it had to be written by a scholar, Natsuki was right about that. "While I'm sure the scholars of Romulus would be able to answer the questions you have, I doubt they'd be willing to translate their old language for you."

"We still need to give it a try, Gal. I'm asking for a few answers, not impossibilities." Natsuki said then, clutching back onto her discovery once it was handed in her direction, fearing that the wind could carry it away. "We will go to Romulus, and send a sign by bird once we assess the situation. From there, we can meet between their boarders directly, and pass through, into Artai. The commissioners of Windbloom will be safe, and we, with any luck, will be one step closer to our goal."

Everyone at the table seemed to consider those words. Natsuki had wanted to be in charge of leading the total group. Likely as a way to show how much she had learned over the years. A way to make Midori proud. Still, at the forefront of everything, Natsuki and Nao both had other goals.

"Very well." Midori nodded before looking over at Dyne. "Bring a dove and seed...enough for several weeks, should we need it." Dyne nodded back and left his leader's side. "I'm not agreeing to this because I want to do it. I simply know better than to expect you'll comply with a safer method." Midori still looked concerned though, as she studied Natsuki. "I will accompany you into Romulus. I need to see for myself, just how much damage they've taken."

"Who will leads us, then?" Gal asked, as a few of Midori's nomads became worried. "You are the best pathfinder there is." Hushed whispers engulfed part of their group, and Midori sighed at that. "We follow you, Midori."

"Gal...our people do not focus on a singular strength. One person is never enough." Midori knew she was the youngest of the traveling nomads. Gal rarely left the safety of Aswad's domain, and never without staying by Midori's side. "With your knowledge, you are the group's scholar. Dyne is strong, and he often leads expeditions. He is quite capable." Midori looked over to the last nomad at the table, a quiet one, that hardly spoke. "Lumen, you will be in charge of the supplies. You will dictate what food the group eats, how much they may drink, and when a fast must be instated. The three of you will ensure the group's survival with an overt eye." As she looked at them, her three most trustworthy nomads on this expedition, she nodded to all of them. This order not only one of faith, but also a test for them, to see how strong they really were. "I have given you the tools to survive on your own. Do not fail our heritage by dying."

A shared nod of concurrence, and the nomads gathered their maps. Other tools seemed to be examined, and exchanged, but those were simply little nicknacks at best. A fine cadge contained a bird. it slept under the protective cloth that covered the silver wiring. It's wings were as pure as the snow, and as Midori gently put the bird into the much smaller wagon, she frowned, an idle thought escaping her. "This is not a family's wagon." Midori chided quietly. It was no matter of particular concern, however, it did mean that there was less space to live in. "Good thing I prefer to sleep outside."

...

"Midori, are you ready to go?" Natsuki asked as she peaked in. "We're the only ones still lingering."

With a firm nod, and a few more moments of preparations, they set off again into the winds that had only just begun to pick up. The air was hot, the sands even hotter still. The entire time, Shizuru longed for rain, or even simply a pool of water to splash in. She'd give anything for some sort of cool surrender. The clouds blocked the sun, and yet still, Natsuki refused to relinquish leadership the group. Even after her body seemed fatigued, drained of all possible energy, she continued to ride bareback through the sands. There were times she leaned heavily on her companion's mane, as if resting her body without giving in entirely. Occasionally, Nao would smirk at that, because it would only last for a few moments at a time.

As much as Shizuru's worries for Natsuki kept her eyes from drifting beyond the woman of midnight tresses, that was not her only concern. "Are you sure they will be alright?" Shizuru asked as she gripped into the reigns of her horse more tightly. She couldn't believe how dusty it was, now that the storm had begun. "I can hardly see."

"A nomad will travel though worse." Midori respond without a trace of hesitation. Still, she found it hard to see in front of her, and they had to sometimes shout over the bursts of wind. "This is not a truly fearsome storm." Though, the look Natsuki sent her way, told Midori that it was no use in sugar coating it. "My nomads are strong, and Aswad takes pride in our path finding abilities. They will make it to Remus safely."

"I would not act carelessly, however, I would not fear this storm." Natsuki told Shizuru, as she struggled to look for a formation in the distance. "It is a hazard, perhaps. However even if I were to fail in my endeavors of leadership, Midori is here to correct my failures." She'd said it only for Shizuru's benefit, and had no intention of truly relying on Midori for help. Still, with the way crimson eyes softened, there was no doubt in Natsuki's mind, that Shizuru had taken comfort in those words. With little else she could do to give Shizuru comfort, she kept the group going northbound.

They'd traveled in mostly silence for several hours. Occasionally someone would utter a comment, or, perhaps a question. It was answered quickly, and the deafening silence resumed. With the sands lashing at their bodies, it was painful to continue on...however, it would be horrific if they were to stop. Shizuru, new to the harshness of the winds, had been told to seek the shelter of the wagon. It was not right to force her to ride in these harsh conditions.

With reluctance, Shizuru complied, and although Natsuki and Nao were close by, her shouts couldn't reach them. It was like she had been caught in a vortex of wind, that seemed louder than it really was. The sands pelted the thick hide of the wagon with vengeance. While she rarely used the book Natsuki gave her, still unsure why she would even amuse using such a thing, she couldn't help but to open it up. She doubted it would give her any measure of comfort, but still, she dared to try. _Natsuki, even while suffering, refuses to find any measure of rest._

The words irked her, and she wished Natsuki would come inside, where it was safe. _It is as if she wants to suffer needlessly._ Though, as Shizuru bit her lip, she considered that it was the wrong assumption. _Perhaps, it is because she suffers, that she can not be at ease. Restlessness seemed to find both Natsuki and Nao often, when idle time slips by. I've come to wonder, is it because when they're sitting around, they have time to dwell?_

That was likely the case. They probably forced themselves to never have more than a few free moments. _While on the move, they have no such luxury. They have no time to let their sadness befall them._ It probably saved them a lot of grief, when she thought about it like that. _For them, having time to deeply consider anything, is a disaster waiting to happen._ It would explain well, the determination lingering in emerald orbs. Even while she was so weak, Natsuki insisted on enduring the harsh sands.

Natsuki was a far cry from the night before, but she was still unwell. _Natsuki_ _has consumed more medicine in one day, than I've ever seen her drink._ In fact, when Shizuru thought about it, she sighed deeply. _Natsuki does not often take medicine. I can not recall any other time that I've seen her drink it. Is it because she is growing more ill by the day?_ Shizuru hated to think that way. _Or possibly, is it because she has a stronger defense? Is it that she does not need the medicine every day?_ Shizuru hoped it was the latter.

 _Being nomadic, Natsuki does need to preserve her supplies. It would make sense that she would only drink the potions given to her by the apothecary, when she truly needs it._ However if that were the case, things still didn't bode well. _Natsuki must be careful, even if she does not wish to be so._

Shizuru couldn't do much, as she sipped at some of the wine from the open bottle. She felt sore, all of this traveling was taking a toll on her, and she realized, Natsuki had to have an endless supply of bundled up energy. Restless surely, but also something entirely different. Natsuki could be described as jumpy, if she lingered in one single place. _Perhaps, that is only the surface. I would not be surprised if Natsuki had more to show me. I'm always willing to learn anything she would be willing to teach._ A smile came at that, as she admired Natsuki's map that lay forgotten on the cot. It was a small one, surely, but even one so small took quite a lot of time.

 _I admit, there are times I find myself a bit, bothered...one could say._ In fact, now was one of those lingering times when she pondered about Natsuki. She knew of Romulus and Remus, at least by name. She could understand Natsuki's concern about Artai as well. _I fear, particular eccentricities run far deeper than Natsuki would ever tell me._ Shizuru, while not nearly as well read as Natsuki, was not completely inept. Though the reasons why were lost on her, she could tell something was eating away at the nomads. _As much as her maps are a way of life, a necessity in many ways, I'm still boggled._ It was as if a hushed reality had come back, and Natsuki, for whatever reason, seemed to expel such a fact. _Whatever the case may be, I've come to one simple truth._

Though, was it really that easy? Shizuru doubted it with every fiber of her being. _The fact is, I'm under Natsuki's employ, I'm not her lover. It's become clear she feels something towards me, but as of right now, her whims are mystery to me. She has other worries, so, I know she will not linger deeply on our unwritten contract._ Shizuru hated to admit it. _I fear to say, such an unwritten law, is the most definitive truth I shall ever receive...even if I wish for more. Perhaps it is time I ask questions of my own, though, I wonder if that will really prove to be a fortuitous outcome._


	17. Nomad's Log: Romulus

_**Nomad's Log:  
(Romulus)** _

_The desert is a landscape that is quite large, and many travel in the sands. The nomads of Aswad often travel the trade routes, to bring in food and other necessities. However, that is not the only home people have built, seeking prosperity here._ _It's merely the smallest, and due to the nature of Aswad, they find a successful living. I regret to say, most of the smaller territories struggle. Most find that maintaining life in the barren lands is not easy. With hardly any water, and little in the way of food, life is harsh. Just like those of the Black Valley, the people of the desert, also find strife to fall upon them, often in vexatious ways._

_Now then, to explain the pathway..._ _Romulus is one of the two largest desert kingdoms in the sandy dunes._

_If you were to head in a northern direction, nearly a direct path, though there aren't any roads in the sands to depict it, you would eventually end up in the kingdom of Romulus. Now, contrary to popular belief, even if their kingdom has been bathed in blood, they are not, by nature a warrior people. They will fight, and defend themselves as needed, but they are known for having a decidedly weak militia. In an attempt to defend themselves, they carefully place traps outside of key places, like their major city. They are a people to tact, not brawn._

_Though, there are many independent territories on the boarders the kingdom, none are worth mentioning, or visiting. Without much food, or water, those territories are often hostile in nature. Bandits, and thieves travel the open landscape freely, and though they generally leave the nomadic people alone, desperate times, will eventually call for desperate measures. To make matters worse, the people of the desert are not often ones to trust each other, or outsiders freely. Though, they can communicate with areas outside of their boarders by the use of messengers, birds, and even the passing caravans, they often prefer not to do so._

_They say the desert, is the land of scholars. They would be correct with such a statement._

_You see, with such a lack of common goods, there are many things a place such as this requires...the main city has a large population, as to be expected, and these people have needs. I speak not only of things for comfort, but, rather of general survival. Water, food, clothing, housing, things of that nature of coveted here. However, due to their location, money is also of importance. With Artai to the north, Black Valley to the west, and Remus to the east, they have no choice...they must survive on imports.  
_

_These truths alone, make the people of Romulus a very difficult kingdom to befriend. Any would be traveler should take care when entering the boarders of Romulus for those reasons alone._

_Like Aswad, they have a particular style in which to dress, and, unlike Aswad, they abide by it strictly. In fact, outsiders are known to be captured and punished, if they do not follow the strict setting. Women cover their faces, body, and hair entirely...unless she's a woman of royalty, who's face and hair should be shown, as a sigh of power to her people. Young children also hide their bodies, regardless of gender. When boys become of age, to be considered men, they are then permitted, though a ceremony of sorts, to get their bodies tattooed with a family crest._

_This crest signifies that they are a man, and from then on out, they have the freedom to show their upper body as they see fit...often times in fact, it's frowned upon for a man to cover his chest entirely, as it hides the crest of his family. Bluntly speaking, it's dishonorable to do so. However, the crest denotes the type of family from which he comes from. Be it a warrior for his people, or merely that of a shop-keep, most men will mark themselves with pride, carrying on the legacy.  
_

_Steeped in a rich, but protected culture, where meat is scarce, it comes as to no surprise that the meals consist greatly of grains and wines. Most of their edible resources are often freshly stored. It isn't uncommon for a family to walk right by a cow, partake some milk from it, and drink it right there, in the middle of the street. As a kingdom, they are very closely knit, and will share freely in dwellings, food, and even bedfellows, if that is what's agreed upon._

_Here, men rule all...that is actually one of the main reasons Romulus and Remus are always at war with each other...however, I must digress from that fact until later. If you travel here, consider it merely a cultural indifference, and leave it well enough alone._ _You see, Romulus is as widely known for their superstitions, as they are for their books._

_Because of that, particular ideals of gender have a firm hold here._

_They are stern, and often heavy handed. Women are not equal, and are happy not to be so. Romulus is the only kingdom, in this day and age, where a woman is happy not to have freedoms. She will be married early, protected fiercely by her husband. Having multiple wives isn't common at all here, but, it isn't unwelcome either. They say the men here are not tested by the size of their hearts, but, by the trials of their wit. The boys are taught early, that anything a man owns must be protected by his stern, forthright attitude._

_The women are taught that to seek shelter and warmth is expected, and welcomed freely. How free she is, to do as she wishes, is governed purely by the head of each household. Some women choose not to marry, and while that's frowned upon, some prefer that, to answering to any man. It should be stated, however, that way to live is a lonely way of life. People would fear, or even shun a woman of that nature...I would not recommend it, at least not in this kingdom.  
_

_Finding a place of refuge is hard to find. The inns are horribly expensive, and Romulus hasn't a bordello to stay at. They frown upon it highly, their views of women tangle them deeply. The mere mention of a woman thinking of doing such a thing is blasphemous. Often, as a traveler passing by, you'll sleep in an alleyway, or a street. This is one of the reasons why it's best not to linger here. Although they are of clean people, usually, it does not mean the streets are safe from the plagues of the world._

_Though they are not barbaric, they will not hesitate to deal with threats accordingly. Men are indeed armed with knives at the very least. Unlike the Aswad, they do not take company with open arms. One glance at another man's wife is all it would take for a dangerous dispute. It is not playful, it is not for sport...it is for ownership. Never misjudge them, thinking of them as the Aswad. It would mean your death, if you were not careful.  
_

_As a people, they are ones that frown on the medical community. They are scholars with a spiritual nature, and that means, they do not believe in medicine. They may occasionally bandage a wound, or chew on a pain numbing leaf, but in a life or death situation, they do not interfere with the wills of the spirits, as they say. This truth is a double edged sword._

_For a positive aspect, you'll not find the illness, nor the madness in these parts. For a negative aspect, the people die young, and often in suffering. This is why it isn't uncommon for a boy to become a man right at the onset of puberty, and a woman to be married as soon as she starts her cycle._

_With these facts in mind, I've come to my conclusions. The best description I could give, is simply lacking in any definitive answer._

_A people filled with honor, perhaps in bothersome ways at times. It isn't that they don't have the clout to back themselves up, because they most assuredly do. They have a past that is a difficult mystery, even among the most well traveled of nomads. It is because of this, that I, like other nomads before my time, leave this log primarily unfulfilled. Their history is tied deeply with Remus, but that I fear, is not enough for me to properly color a map. With in mind, any traveler to these parts should blend in well, and act accordingly._

_Only someone unwise, would dare to go against such ways...I fear that is the only bit of advise, I can truly offer...I hope it would be enough to keep somebody well._


	18. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Due to the nature of the storm, it was slow going ahead, even when the gusts of wind stopped. There was not a bothy on the open lands of the desert, but, that didn't mean there weren't hidden places of refuge. While it was true water was a rare find in these parts, there was enough for the animals for the time being, stored in the barrels. That didn't mean however, that they had time to waste. The night came without incident, thankfully, as they rested among a rocky outcrop. Even this place was not completely safe.

Nightfall was different, it was almost chilly, the breeze no longer as warm as it had been during the day.

The boulders were smooth, and would gift at least minimal protection, should the wind kick back up at night. Without the sun to guide them, and the clouds blocking the stars, they had no choice but to sit and wait. Traveling without any way to see, wasn't something any of them were willing to do. The desert was quiet, and without the normal sounds of nightfall. Only a few wild animals would call in the distance, but even that was rare. The crackling fire was the warmest music to the otherwise deafening silence.

Midori fell asleep easily, without the comfort of a bed. Leaning by the fire was enough warmth, and the smooth rocks were like that of a pillow. Nao slept inside the wagon, and Shizuru was supposed to be doing the same. To her credit, she'd tried, tossing and turning for several hours. When all she could do was remain awake, and unable to find solace, she admitted defeat. Her mind was filled with other, more interesting things. There was little to do, after a day like today, besides letting her imagination run away with her.

She wondered many things. Some were innocent, such as the truth behind Natsuki's scowls that seemed filled in discomfort. She amused parts of their travel, the creatures she'd seen, the spiny plants they'd taken notice of. Even the rock formations that marked the maps, checkpoints of their journey. Idly, she wondered about Romulus, about the people, the food, and even what the main city might look like. When her mind exhausted all other topics of interest, her heart finally carried her to loneliness, and she wanted to seek out Natsuki's company.

With a keen eye, she looked out to where Natsuki seemed to be busy, drawing by the fire light. The warm glow, brought out the intensity found within Natsuki's emerald orbs. It was that same burning glare that could turn into fury without hesitation, or melt into kindness unmatched. Natsuki was always, in many ways, an extremist, even when she wished not to be. Her eyes always burned, even if it was merely due to a frozen stare of utmost hatred. Shizuru loved that part the most.

Those eyes, not unlike windows, but, always never fully understood.

Natsuki's face was little more than a shallow surrender to the elements. Continuing to paint on the canvas paper that perched upon her lap, she paid no heed to the wild animals that lingered near the fire. Even if they were deadly, it mattered not. Her hands however, were not colored with the dark inks that Shizuru had grown fond of. No, these colors were blues and greens, and idly, she licked her lips. Slowly she stepped out into the soft sands, mindful of the snake that seemed contented, warming by the fire.

With Natsuki's tongue peaking out from between her lips in concentration, Shizuru couldn't help but fixate. Natsuki didn't seem to mind being watched. The map she'd completed not long ago was her only concern as she took great care with the blue ink. "The Black Valley is truly a beautiful place, when you color it such as that." It was likely though, that the artist was even more beautiful in the dim light. "I never realized there were so many rivers."

"It was once a thriving land, so yes, there are many water sources." Putting down her quill was not something she did easily, but, she would make an acceptance just this once. She put the map down to dry. "Though, I doubt many are safe to drink from, it's nice to watch the rivers flow. Even when they are murky, they're filled with truths that are waiting to be found." As she watched this beautiful woman before her in the firelight, Natsuki frowned even if only slightly. "You have dark eyes, when the night comes around." It was not the first time she'd noticed that. It was alluring, and yet...frustrating. "You are an intimidation, sometimes, Shizuru."

"I don't mean to be that way." Shizuru's voice was always so soft during times such as this. She knew the severity in her eyes were enough of a shout. "Though, I admit that sometimes, people become frightened of them." Of her eyes, of her voice, and her shuttering breaths in the night. Then, there was the truth about her poisonous blood, something many never dared to utter about. "I wish I wasn't met with scowls, or even appraising eyes. I'm always worth little more than trouble, for many."

"I doubt it." Natsuki chuckled then, leaning back on the rock a little. "You come to the aid of many, though, you don't often realize it."

"No, it's true." The admittance was filled with the trials of life. "I'm not of worth to many people, they've no need for me." The failures were not something Shizuru herself had committed, but, even by namesake, they fell upon her shoulders. "Even now, I sometimes wonder how I'll even be able to help you. I know I'm a disappointment, not having answers for you." Yet, they still allowed her to travel with them, even without skills in which to offer. "You're all very kind to me, Natsuki." Her memories, merely fragments at that, were not enough of a token gesture. "However, I fear I'm not worth that."

"Is that what you think?" For a long time now, Natsuki had wondered about that, as she got closer to Shizuru. "Is that why you've been coy with me recently?" Yes, that was exactly how Shizuru had been acting. "Playing at games you both desire, and yet fear?" Both as a friend, and yet as something more. Shizuru walked a very obscure line. "You don't have to be that way." Natsuki replied quietly, kissing the nape of Shizuru's neck. "You don't have to try to commit yourself to being the woman of your past." Even more than that, Natsuki wished she would cast that part of her aside. "The world has opened up to you now, as long as you stay by my side."

"It isn't as if I want to be such a person, it just comes naturally." Shizuru said then, as she let her eyes slip closed, and titled her head to grant Natsuki easier access. "However you are a woman Natsuki, and you will never be a man. I understand that now." In an inexplicable way, it bothered Shizuru the most. "I regret to say this, but thinking you were a man was heavenly." And yet, this...this was something else entirely. "Knowing you as I do now, it's frightening. There are so many truths...and yet, I feel as if there are just as many deceptions."

"My interest in you." Natsuki replied knowingly, her voice sending shivers down Shizuru's spine. Her fingers toyed idly in fawn tresses. "I wish to be a woman, so you think it to be fake."

"It is not that it is fake, it is merely a game. I am no man, Natsuki." Shizuru could never live life such a way, not if she wished to live peacefully. "Nao will be able to give you everything you want. She's most willing to do so. When you become a woman, you'll be given many gifts, that I would never be able to give you." Shizuru knew that, from the bottom of her heart. "An heir, freedom from the things you detest, a strong alliance with another kingdom, and the ability to rule over your own." The simple facts were hard to ignore. "I wish you wouldn't be so distant." In fact, she liked Natsuki the way she was, and almost feared what else might change, as soon as Natsuki became a woman. "I long for your happiness and well being, even before my own."

"Distant?" Natsuki chuckled as she nipped at the lobe of Shizuru's ear. "That would be a commodity, if I actually had that ability." Natsuki never thought herself to be repressed in such a way. "I thought my intention were as forthright as humanly possible." They were still garbed in robes native to Aswad. Natsuki found that to be of particular use, as she slipped her hand into the folds, her palms caressing Shizuru's smooth thighs with her normal insistence. "I thought I made it clear, my thoughts would not soothe you." Her fingers were skilled by now, mapping out those little areas that would wreak havoc. Coaxing arousal from the woman above her. "I find it odd that you still wish to test me, even after my requests."

"You're the one who has yet to place a proper boundary line between us." As if to add proof to this claim, she let herself sigh out a needy breath. "This isn't exactly considered appropriate, Natsuki." It was so sinfully sweet, it was like making a pact with the devil. Natsuki's hands continued to run freely up the sides of her body. Stopping not once, but twice, to tease the soft flesh under Shizuru's breasts. "How am I to clearly understand any intention? You treat me so kindly, and yet, there are times I'm still examined as property."

"You are in service to the Black Valley, are you not?" Natsuki could feel Shizuru trembling under her fingertips, as she brought her hand over one full breast. "I have only the best of intentions." Natsuki murmured then. "I implore you never to question them." The delight she took, when her fingers began to tease the woman before her, was something she knew she could never put a price on. "It would be a dark place, Shizuru, that much, I will assure you." And yet, as if to try to put a tight lock on her heart, she'd done simply that...and put a price on this woman. "Our agreement was that you comfort me on my journey."

Natsuki couldn't help but be infatuated with the integrity of this woman, who was indeed far more complex than she would ever let on. Natsuki couldn't help that she wanted Shizuru, even now. She made a point to quickly undo the knot that held her clothes around her form, so that even while sitting, she was openly displaying her arousal for the woman of fawn tresses. She kissed the woman possessively, and yet, with her usual fondness. Natsuki was always a strange mix between intoxicating lust, and gentle anticipation.

Always, without fail, she waited to see a favorable outcome, before simply demanding it. When they pulled away, breathless, Natsuki had taken that as her affirmative. She untied the silk rope that held Shizuru's robe together, viewing for herself, the true nature of beauty. Shizuru was a woman to admire. Her legs long, her hips fit for child to perch upon. Her breasts were large, but not overwhelming, even without the use of a corset. They stayed precisely where they were meant to, showcased by her every breath. Her face was most gorgeous, the firelight ghosting shadows off of her from. Her eyes seemed to shimmer, in a radiant burning need.

The pooling heat between Shizuru's legs glistened tauntingly, the purity of her submission to Natsuki's whims merely the smallest murmurs, were like that of a high. How many times had she taken delight in the quivering praise only a woman could give her? How many nights had Shizuru offered herself, parting her nether lips with her own fingers, beckoning Natsuki to fulfill her needs? Those were amusing quandaries in and of themselves. Often, they were an idle thing to think about, but now, Natsuki had a fancy with the matter as she kissed those luscious lips with meaning with her every intention.

Three little words she would never actually dare to say, seemed to slip in between the lines of her intentions. She secretly hoped, Shizuru could read into it with every ache that Natsuki inspired. That the woman would understand fully, with every nip of teeth, or dip of the tongue, purely Natsuki's fondest of meanings. Natsuki had thought, on several occasions, that she offered this woman not nearly enough. And yet, as she placed her hands on the smooth hips in front of her, insisting that Shizuru straddle her, she found that same wrenching heartbreak.

It lingered in crimson orbs.

She'd seen it once before. As if, Shizuru wanted to deny the advance, but feared to do it. The woman's crimson eyes fell on Midori's form close by, and Natsuki sighed, knowing what the hesitation was. However, that wasn't likely a comfort. Natsuki knew her body took no small amount of dismay in Shizuru's hesitancy, her cock throbbed painfully, an inward scream of discomfort. One thrust was all it would take to force her personal feelings on the matter, but, with restraint, she dared not move. "This is how the nomads live, Shizuru, it's their way of life." Natsuki knew however, that her plea would not be enough, and coursed herself for not taking them to a place a bit more private.

A place where they would have had cover, where their passions would not be seen.

"I know." Shizuru's voice trembled. "That's why I..." She clutched onto Natsuki's shoulders, a silent way to beg not to be taken like this. Not on this night. If there was one thing she hated, more than anything, it was to be used as an expeditionary prize. There were so many bad memories that she could recall, times in the brothel she'd much rather not ever recall again. "It is their way of life, and yet, even so I can't help but feel as if-" Natsuki's soft fingers halted her admission.

"Don't explain away your feelings." Natsuki didn't want to hear them, didn't want to harm this woman. Occasions like these were fragile, Natsuki could clearly see that. "You have every right to be defiant with me, Shizuru, even if I hate that you are." Guilt flooded her heart. The last time Shizuru had denied her, they'd getting rather disagreeable with each other. "I was wrong to have slapped you before. You are not some mere concubine." Her member throbbed painfully, as she looked at the woman bare before her. Shizuru was so close, that Natsuki could feel moist, soft womanhood, just at the tip of her own arousal. "Never think that you are." With a defeated sigh, she gently let go of Shizuru's hips, and instead, she pulled the robe back around the woman, tying it up. "It wouldn't do, for you to believe something as odd as that."

"I am still merely a lady of the night. The only difference is that I'm only yours." It was the truth Shizuru had come to settle on. She doubted it could ever be more than that. "I'm yours to do with as you see fit. I am to follow your whims." It hurt to admit it, her feelings grew stronger for Natsuki every day. "Attending to you is apart of that." It was what she felt she should do, spread her legs, and submit to advances. It was her job, her primary role in all of this. Deep down, she couldn't deny, she wanted Natsuki just as badly, but her own shame in that, won over her desire.

"That's falsehood, Shizuru." Natsuki told her, trying her best to control her emotions. "We agreed, that part would be upon your consent, not my demand." Yet, Natsuki wanted that the most. To set forth an offer Shizuru could not refuse. It would have been so easy to do, so very simple indeed. A little aggression never really hurt anyone, at least, not outwardly. Yet, that was Natsuki's fear, even as her mind toyed with the idea for a moment longer. She knew Shizuru had likely been forced upon many times before...that's why Natsuki felt sickened to act on the thought.

"If I am not simply that, then what else am I? To a person such as you, I should merely be a game to trifle with." It was the one thing Natsuki had never clearly stated. "You pay me to be by your side, so what else could I possibly be, besides a kept woman?" The one thing, Shizuru wanted to never be. She wasn't some common whore, Natsuki seemed to state that all the time. She was starting to believe it. Even now, she could just see Natsuki's desire burning in her emerald orbs, and it didn't help that Natsuki did nothing to hide the thoughts dancing in her eyes, or her length, still at attention, still begging for the attention of womanly folds.

Shizuru almost considered to take Natsuki in her mouth, offering at the very least, a consolation prize at best. Even then, it was something Shizuru hated to think about, a squashed the idea entirely. "I am not your lover, or if I am, you've never stated it. Coming to that conclusion, what else could it be, Natsuki?" Her voice trembled, she wanted to just give in, like the battered woman of her past. She had to stand firmly, she had to prove to herself that Natsuki's words were indeed correct.

Natsuki grit her teeth, and they shined in the firelight. Her brows furrowed in a pained response. She'd no idea how to answer that. With a shuttering breath, Natsuki gently pushed Shizuru away from her, and stood, facing away from Shizuru's gaze. "I can't answer that..." Natsuki replied then, in a shaky breath. "I promised you, that I wouldn't die...and I won't." Even as she said it, she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from lashing out. "I won't die from your hands...and I won't die from the madness, either...I refuse to let any of that happen." Her mouth filled with her own blood, but she couldn't bring herself to care, and she swallowed it to hide that fact. "So...I can't comfort your worries."

Still, as she neared the wagon, she paused outside of the opening. "Do not misunderstand." A rueful smile on her face let loose a trickle of blood. "I wish that I could, but I fear it would do no good." It slipped from the corner of her mouth so easily, she couldn't have stopped it, even if she'd wanted to. "You'll just have to trust my whims, Shizuru." She hid her pain well. "I can't do better than that, not yet."

"What about when you can?" Shizuru asked then, a soft fear filling her voice. "Could you even be honest enough?"

"It has nothing to do with honesty." She put her hand up to her face, dragging away the constant drip of blood that continued to leak. "Idle confessions, Shizuru, mean nothing in my current state." That would indeed be pointless. At least, that's how Natsuki felt. In large part, it was because most of her life remained out of her control. "Suppose I do wish to say something, would the words truly mean anything?" Another factor, perched within what little freedom she had. "I am bound to Nao, as it stands."

"I know that you don't want to be." It was a pleading question that lingered between them. Shizuru continued to dig deeper, even though she knew it would end in failure. "I know that you have your own hopes and dreams within your life. I can see it every time you look at me. I merely want to know, why does it bother you so much?" Natsuki had already clearly made note of her current focus, and love was not the main one. "I want to be the one to take away whatever pains you."

Natsuki shook her head in dismay. "You do not understand. Nao and I will be sexually active again, once we reach Artai, perhaps even before then." The world was filled with things Natsuki had to abide by. "We will have to live up to our expectations of being betrothed, can't you see that? The only reason we're allowed to freely travel, is because everyone thinks we're madly in love. They believe we fully intend on announcing our wedding once we return from our pilgrimage." There were other, deeper reasons, but Natsuki chose her words with hesitancy. "Our wedding may indeed be a farce, but Shizuru, Nao is important to me. I will strive to carry her though her endeavors, just as she supports me in everything that I do."

"I understand it, from my perspective, at the very least." Shizuru murmured then. "However, that doesn't mean it isn't painful. The two of you do have quite a difficult situation to face. I have to watch it unfold before me, it's a horror I can't stop." Shizuru couldn't even imagine how Natsuki felt about it. "I don't want that anymore than you do."

"And why not?" Natsuki's cool voice sent a dagger directly into Shizuru's heart. Those words cut, rather deeply.

Shizuru looked away, now it was her turn to feel guilty. "You want to be with a woman." Shizuru liked her lips, and closed her eyes. "So, being with a man, even if that man will be Nao, is difficult to accept." Even more than that, Natsuki had already shattered Shizuru's notions on what pure love actually was. "You should be with a woman, if that's what you wish."

"And if that woman is you?" Words could not have been more blunt. Even if painted in the sands with blood, it would not have struck as deeply, as Natsuki's voice just had done.

Shizuru was unsure of just what she could say to that, but, she wanted dearly to admit it. "There would be hell to pay." What Shizuru feared most, was if they had enough for the toll. The world was not as loving, not as blindly accepting as the people from Aswad. "Yet, I know we would pay it, a thousand times over, if we had to do such a thing."

Natsuki nodded. "It is painful. It is a complexity." The agreement seemed even more like a shadow. "But, if you know that, Shizuru, why do you intend to push me for answers? I have yet to receive them, even for myself. What makes you think I have them, to give them to you?" Shizuru had no answer for that one, anything would be selfish. "When we reach Romulus, I will send a messenger with coin and letters, your friends may need it. They're long overdue, and I'm sure they could use some more lining to their purse." Natsuki sighed then, and retreated inside the wagon. "After you've settled down, join me for slumber...I promise, there will be nothing more than that."

Shizuru waited for a few moments, before following after her, blowing out the little candle that dimly illuminated the inside...following Natsuki's request.


	19. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all for your support thus far. I regret to tell you that there is no Shiz/Nat this chapter...in fact, they won't even be speaking with each other in this one. We have bigger fish to fry, and meddling to partake of. Finally, the group is in Romulus, though we can hardly call that a good thing. I hope you all enjoy.

**Chapter 16**

Reaching the boarder of Romulus was the easy part after the storms died down. Navigating beyond the landscape of thick barriers, however, was going to be quite a bit more troublesome then they'd suspected. Romulus wasn't an offensive kingdom. They hadn't many warriors, and those who would fight if need be, weren't all that powerful. Instead, Romulus relied heavily on carefully placed traps. The obvious ones like poisons and unsavory nets had gotten in their way. The travelers expected it, and, their reactions were fairly away layer upon layer of rope, while annoying at best, posed no real threat.

There were other things to take notice of, and those were more dangerous. Mines that could be hidden, or reclusive animals. It was likely a new way to fortify their boarder, and because of that, it was a risk to take the wagon any further. Horseback was also out of the question.

They'd have to go on foot.

When Natsuki and Nao went ahead, they did so with minimal supplies. Unfortunately this meant leaving Shizuru and Midori to their own devices...they couldn't risk taking Shizuru with them, knowing she could easily get hurt. There wasn't much to do, since they weren't making camp, and all of the animals were resting happily. Midori seemed to find ways to keep occupied, as she dozed off, leaning on the wagon for support. There wasn't much to look at, endless dunes, and clear skies seemed beautiful enough to stare at. However, it didn't soothe troubled souls, the land was eerie.

Truthfully though, Shizuru didn't feel compelled to take in the vastness around her.

Perhaps it was because of the tense worries, that seemed to fall over Natsuki's shoulders. Perhaps, it was because her own worries seemed to get heavier, as time went on. However, even if that were the truth, it gifted no solace for the moment, and suddenly, Shizuru felt ashamed. She always seemed to provoke Natsuki's cold temperament in the most confusing of ways. She couldn't help but to allow her mind to continuously fixate of Natsuki's words. They were filled with contradiction. Shizuru felt trapped in them, unable to comfort Natsuki, or justify even the most simple action.

She was tangled in the web of her own thoughts, but, she was without a spider to end her suffering.

Suddenly, without any warning, a blade was tossed in Shizuru's general direction, and with it, came Midori's voice. "Why am the one always protecting little lost lambs?" Still, it was said in humor, a soft smile on her face. "Please tell me you have some bite in you." Midori was merely bored, looking for a good match. With a tired yawn and stance that showed she truly couldn't be defeated, she found herself awaiting Shizuru's willingness to participate. Time passed, and Shizuru didn't budge. "Someone of your heritage, should be will suited to this."

"Afraid not." Shizuru looked at the blade. "I've no idea how to fight, regardless of the method." She had no desire for it. Even when the long pole reflected the harsh sun. The blade glinting, teasing...testing every drop of morality found within any human heart. "I can't amuse you in such a way. Besides, if I were to end up bleeding..." The warning wasn't one Shizuru needed to give.

Midori shook her head. "Natsuki needs a warrior strong enough to bleed...and a lover stubborn enough to put her in her place." Midori was odd like that, often finding wisdom in places one would least expect. "If you keep denying Natsuki, you'll only make her hurt more." One look at Midori would tell you she was armed to the teeth, itching for any kind of fight. "Though, in the end, you will be the one who would pay the price." Only the grains of sand might prove to be a worthy opponent, and only if the wind kicked up at that. "Comrades of mine are strong, both in will, and in soul. I expect that of you, too."

"I wish I could be." She followed the long blade that seemed to be sticking into the sand near her legs...only a little closer, and it would have landed on top of her. Shizuru realized immense skill, her lack of injury proof of that. "I try to be, Indeed. I just find it hard, when faced with undesirable outcomes. No matter what I do, I often feel there is little I can truly do." She wished she could take the insight Midori had, and use it for herself. "Strength, I fear, isn't something that comes easy to me, not when Natsuki is my concern."

Sounds of knives clattered to the ground at that. "Conflict tends to do that to a person." Midori continued throwing them off to the side. Three from one side of her garb, three from the other, and several came from her boots. Other, longer ones, were pulled from their place at the small of her back. "However, if you want to be true to yourself, you also need to stop refusing her demands." Midori smirked, as Shizuru wordlessly found Midori's gaze. "So, what does one do, when faced with those facts?"

"I honestly wish I knew." Shizuru sighed then. "Although, I do hope you weren't trying to kill me."

"Take the blade." Midori replied, a hint of boredom in her words. "It's a gift." At least this would provide her some amusement, and this poor girl needed to learn how to do something. Anything besides cower in her own past, though, Midori could admit it was worthy of such fear. "Besides, you're stronger than you look, even if you hate that power." It was time to unlock it, and hone the girl's skills. "Blood like yours, was made for a true clash of blades."

"I've always hated fighting." Honestly, she never really found the point in it. "It's completely barbaric." Even with Midori completely unarmed, the woman was still frightening. With her swords placed down in front of her gently, she settled down to rest.

"For you, perhaps." Midori nodded, she could see how a girl of Shizuru's past could think along those lines. "For my people, it's as much about honor as it is a mating ritual." Midori dared, just once, to step along a line she wouldn't normally cross. "I wasn't exactly sleeping last night, you know." She could see Shizuru's face color in a deep shade of guilt, but that didn't bother Midori. "How could I, when I heard the pain in Natsuki's voice? Natsuki has good intentions, sometimes, they're just misplaced." Midori shrugged. "However, she does have a fondness for you."

"A fondness..." It sounded empty when worded like that. "Tell me, why is it that everyone sees such anger in her? why do they act as if she's some horrible person or something?" That's what bothered Shizuru. "Nao, she says it openly, but I know you're being protective of Natsuki, too." Everyone seemed to keep up their guard, as if Natsuki still had a dark aura. One that only they knew about. "Good intentions always tend to hurt others, and misplaced feelings, are simply that."

Midori felt saddened at Shizuru's voice, so thick in turmoil. "You've seen how ill she gets, isn't that enough?" Midori wondered sometimes if it really was. "Natsuki and Nao are good kids, but, even for nomads, they're still young." Then, as if she was willing to slip the tiniest hint of admittance out, she sighed. "Or, maybe I'm just an old washed up hag." She chuckled as she inched forward a bit more, her hands touching the warming sands. "Listen, I'm not about to go into an entire song and dance about Natsuki's life, or why we should be protective of her." Really, Midori knew it wasn't her place to say. "We each have out own reasons for it, and they're not as bad as everyone makes out to be, at least...not all of them." Still, when she looked at Natsuki's maps, of how far Natsuki had come, Midori had to admit, she was proud of her.

"An Interesting notion. Well then, what's your reason?" Shizuru asked then. "Surely you could tell me that much."

"My reason..." Midori thought about that, but honestly she had plenty of them. "Well, on a bit of a selfish note, we have an agreement of sorts." Midori began, as she scratched her head in search of a proper answer. "Once Natsuki takes back her kingdom, my people are going to be welcomed back. They'll be welcome to travel the lands as freely as they'd like. They're going to be given an immunity against Natsuki's jurisdiction. That means a lot to my people, and to me. The fact she trusts me with that kind of thing, it deserves honor."

Though, on a personal level, it was something far more difficult to explain. "The truth is, that is not my only reason." Another one, a more important one, was something subtle. "Natsuki doesn't exactly have whims of her own. She has plans, she likes to act on, but that's it. You're the first hint of something beyond all of the pressure she puts on herself." Midori shrugged, it was the best she could do. "You're very special to her, but, you wouldn't understand that."

"I'm her whim." That didn't sound any better than before. Shizuru took it for the value that it seemed to be worth. "Natsuki seems the type to act rashly often. At least, if she has the ability to do so."

"Normally, you would be right." Midori nodded, that was the key. "However, think about that clearly." There was more than met the eye. "Natsuki is considered worthless by even her own blood relatives. They've raised her to save face, not out of love." Midori spoke softly, a sense of pity in her words, ones she would hardly gift any soul. "Furthermore, death awaits her, and she has no idea when it'll happen. The frightens her very much, it worries all of us as well. She doesn't have all the time in the world, if she is to see that her goals be met." When Midori began to tick everything off on her fingers, she mentally cursed, forgetting that Natsuki did have quite a job ahead of her.

Midori knew Natsuki felt the need to strive for amazing things, some of them nearly impossible. "Then, she has the people of the Black Valley to worry about." Sometimes, she worried it was more than Natsuki could take on, the endeavor a huge undertaking. "Even though she knows I'll look after it, even if she does die, she still believes strongly in becoming the leader." Midori shook her head. "Do you think a person with all of that, can truly act without recourse to action?"

Shizuru knew the lingering answer in the air, but even so, it didn't ease her mind. "Natsuki is stubborn, so I know she'll hold true to the things most important." Natsuki had other priorities. "She has no other choice, at least, not right now." The feelings anyone else might have needed to take a back seat, and Shizuru could see that. "However, every time I try to comfort her, I feel as if I'm not good enough...or that, as you and everyone else keeps reminding me, that I'm simply a whim. I do not wish to be an object that can be so easily thrown away."

"It isn't as if we mean it in such a way." Midori often saw the lack of conviction. It lingered in those that settled within the villages and kingdoms. It lacked a proper strength, a willpower of sorts. As often as she saw it, she never thought Natsuki would take interest in a woman such as that. "This is why you must decided your path." Midori replied sternly, but filled with kindness. "You are just as forsaken as Natsuki and Nao. You have no home, and you have no people. If that were not enough Shizuru, you too, are living on borrowed time. You could be like Natsuki one day, and await your own death. We're all facing such a horrific thing."

"I know that." Shizuru hated worrying about it, and feared to do so. "That's why, as whimsical as this all sounds, I came with Natsuki. I want a cure too, after all." Even more than that, she wanted the warmth of Natsuki's embrace. The soft smiles that Natsuki would gift only to her, in the dead of night. She wanted to be with Natsuki, to be loved by her. "If we don't find it, eventually, Natsuki will..." Shizuru couldn't say it.

"Madness cloaks the body at the worst times. We can do nothing but watch those we love, suffering in great pain. It is all we can do to grin and bear it." Midori, and those who followed the same will, had chosen the other option. "I can't watch it anymore. Natsuki fears death more than anything, and Nao has a cousin to properly overthrow." Her fingers ran up the smooth pole of the long weapon, the one she'd given to Shizuru. "What reason do you have for being here?" She pulled it out, and pressed the long pole to Shizuru's chest, waiting for her to grip onto it. "That is the answer you must find, and give to yourself. Once you do, being near Natsuki will make more sense."

"Is there ever truly a point to fight for anything?" Shizuru had never heard of such an endeavor, unless, of course, casualties followed in massive numbers.

Midori sighed, that was something that in all of her years, she could never gift a true answer for. It would be different for everyone. Still, there was one common thing. One very delicate thing, that bound every soul. "When a person truly feels helpless, and beyond all hope, they have only two options. They wait for the inevitable, whatever than may be." That was not an answer Midori approved of, and yet, she never begrudged those who decided upon such a path. "Or, in perhaps the most futile of ways, they cling onto the shreds of their very desires, no matter how mutilated that desire eventually becomes."

Midori had to admit, it was a disgusting taste, and a hard truth to swallow. "If that is the case, Natsuki, Nao, and myself, are the epitome of the latter." Still, she could not coddle Shizuru. "We may find failure, and not redemption, but, we refuse to sit idly by." It had to be the truth, and little else. "It may indeed be our demise, but, we will welcome it, if that is what we find."

...

The outer wall that protected Romulus was well fortified. Still, even upon arrival by foot, Natsuki could see gaps that indicated weak points. It wasn't long before they convinced the guards to come and show them the proper way to the gates. Even so, there was a lot of waiting around. While the guards bickered over who was actually going to go, Natsuki and Nao took the time to wander about the city. The southern part of the main city was quiet, but calm.

They had to visit the only inn that could be found in the area. Normally it came at a hefty price, but Nao soon found that there seemed to be a lingering sense of fear that captivated the eyes of those she passed by. It was in every hesitating breath, every man who stood in front of his wife, every woman that held her child. It was a foreboding reality, a horror yet to be fully understood.

They'd not seen any signs of wreckage, but, the purity of fear was abundant, it saturated the streets. No one would even need the broken buildings, walls, and families, that Nao was sure, would eventually greet them. The proof was in every startled gasp, every eye that turned away, fleeing from Nao's very presence. Those that didn't see her as a bringer of death, praised her, begging clearly for the protection they knew she could offer. The respect she was being given, something beyond an oddity.

It was as if she could be the greatest of messiah. "What did my cousin do this time?" She muttered once they'd been shown to their room. "That was way beyond unorthodox." They'd visited here before, many times, however, they were never treated warmly. Indifferently, surely...there were a few who would greet them formally, but, always, it was with pretense. "And this is really weird."

This, was merely a controlled panic.

"I'll say." A carving of a goddess, an elaborate piece, hinted that this room was meant for lovers. "I was hoping not to fall into old routines so quickly."

"We don't have to, we can always instruct that we simply don't want our sheets touched." Though, Nao knew it would look poorly upon them to do that. "The choice is yours, really."

Natsuki sighed, taking in the sights. "It would be wise not to cause anything questionable right now."

Their room was on the second floor. The shared living space was simple and cozy, the fire a warmed welcome. It was however, their sleeping space, that dictated the nature of their stay. Complete with gifts of fine oils for the bath, and even a basket of fruit, ripe and perfect for eating, there were no doubts of the truths to be found here. The wine was spectacular, and to add suggestion, there were symbols of fertility all over the room.

"I think this is all just a bit much." Nao sighed, picking up what was clearly an aphrodisiac from the gift basket. "Look, it's the mixture given to those expected to consummate. I didn't realize the word was spreading so far south."

"Well, Artai has a strong influence, and we've been putting it off for a long time." Natsuki wondered about that too, but she knew they had to play the part well. "The fact that they keep acting the way they do, I can't help but think that they're afraid of you." Every time either of them merely asked for something, those of Romulus cowered. Their voices shook in agreements that were highly uncommon. "Why else would they give you the best room here, for free at that? They're trying to appease you."

"Do you blame them?" Mahya was staying at the same inn, it seemed..and came into the common sitting room, a fine ale in hand. "Nagi's men did a lot of damage. They don't have the ability to have the same amount of clout, that they did before." Though, Mahya assumed that even if they did, they would dare direct it at Nao. "Plus, they know that you two work closely with the Aswad, same as I. It's only fitting that they give you a fearful respect. They need help, and who better to beg, than Nao?" The underlying current however, spoke volumes. "You are the forsaken prince, after all."

Natsuki nodded to that wordlessly, but it was Nao who took it to heart. "I didn't want them to be afraid of me." Though, she knew now, she had to help them. "I've not yet seen the damage to the norther side. I have a feeling, from all if this ceremony, that it's pretty bad." They weren't even dressed in proper garb yet, and already, the men stayed clear of Natsuki, fearing to look at her, knowing that Natsuki was on display, something normally disrespectful. "I used to being sneered at. I have half a mind to march to the battle sight now, somehow, I have a feeling it is worse than I expected."

"That says a lot." Natsuki agreed completely though, fearing they may have underestimated the damage. "We didn't come here with rose colored glasses either."

"You don't want to see it." Mahya replied darkly. "We're still pulling bodies out from the broken rubble." It would be an ongoing situation, and it wasn't one many had time to linger for. "Laura and I are staying here to help, we're putting our search on hold, in case Nagi comes back again."

"If he did, you wouldn't be able to hold him off." Natsuki hated to admit it, but they would need a strong army, and that was something they didn't have. "If Nagi truly wanted something, Nao wouldn't be able to talk him out of it. I doubt even a show of brute force alone from Aswad, would get the point across."

"Then my blood will seep into these sands with honor. I know if that happened, the sibling kingdoms would join together. " Mahya replied, unflinchingly. "If Nagi killed me, Remus would be out for his blood in more ways than one. They may hate Romulus with every bit of passion possible, but if I were to die, they would fight alongside of Romulus. Even if only to avenge my death." They owed Mahya that much, for all that she'd done to help them in the past. Both kingdoms hated each other, but they both loved her. "Nagi would no go unpunished, and in that, my death would be an honorable one."

That seemed enough for Nao, who nodded, encouraged by that feeling. "You are the desert goddess, after all." Mahya was popular among the desert people as a woman willing to do for anyone. "They would take pride in you...but let it be known, that if you die, I will personally come to beat you bloody when I reach hell."

"I would look forward to my second doomsday." Mahya said then with smirk.

"I'll need proper attire for three women and myself." Nao growled with her arms crossed, not at all happy about it though. "We have to play our part up here, so I want Natsuki's colors to match mine. Midori and Shizuru though, I don't think they'll particularly care." With her mind lingering on Nagi's troublesome ways, she could only spare a small corner of her mind to Natsuki, who was also concerning her. "Natsuki, go wait in the room, until we can get you something to dress in." Nao said quietly. "I'm tired of these men thinking I'm going to kill them, purely for blinking the wrong way."

"Hurry up." Natsuki knew though, this wasn't the time to be showing her face. "Though, truth be told, I hate wearing such bothersome attire." She closed the door behind her, and Nao sighed.

"I know that you aren't exactly on friendly terms with Artai, or even myself as a person." Nao began, finding it difficult to keep her own acidic tongue in check. "However, we both know that Midori would look more favorable to the people, if you would go and escort them through the main gates. The people would treat them with more kindness, and if they're to receive any help from Midori, they've got to get on her good side as well."

Mahya smirked at that. "So, you do care about others, endearing, in it's own way. You should act so forthrightly more often. It would help you make more allies than enemies."

"Don't go getting any ideas." Nao sighed back dully. "I'm only asking this because I know Artai, my homeland, is to blame for the damages." In fact, she felt sickened by that. "I have to take some measure of responsibility for it...even if it wasn't my fault. Nagi is my cousin, he's my blood relative. People say that I'm the one with the dirty blood, that I'm the one to blame for my father's failures. I have no choice but to receive slander about him, that bastard." She would be damned, however, to take it from anyone else. "I will not allow Nagi to inconvenience other people. If I do, I'll only have more trouble to deal with later."

"Whatever you say, Nao." Mahya didn't believe that was entirely the case. She knew Nao had some level of respect for human life, and the ideal of family. Even if Nao would never admit it. Nao took joy in helping that end, she even found closure where otherwise none would ever be found. "Wait for a while, I'll go and and find your wagon. Then let's meet up at the observatory."

"Due south from the first watch tower." Nao smirked, thankful for the help. "We'll be waiting, so don't get lost."


	20. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Romulus will be the start of many conflicts of interest for the characters. Midori isn't the only one stirring up trouble, last chapter a foreboding truth of things to come. This time, we meet back up with Natsuki and Nao, for a little drama of their own...that, and the next big clue about the distillate. This is the longest chapter yet(and don't get used to the length...that was just a fluke. This chapter is the same here as it is on the AO3...since this is primarily a Shiz/Nat fiction, Natsuki/Nao lemon content will be kept minimal to near nonexistent.
> 
> Also I'm glad people noticed something from last chapter, which I should address now.
> 
> A bit on character morality: I have envisioned this world to be very much like our world is...that is to say, it's filled with views, customs, ideals that are not always going to be shared. In some cases they will be shunned completely. These conflicts are immensely important to this story. What is justified? What is good? What is evil? What is correct? These are all questions that the characters themselves will struggle though. Morality is the driving force of this story, it carries the entire weight. Just like our world (on said worldly level) tends to invite these questions, and these problems, this world will do the same for the characters.
> 
> Midori, in the last chapter brought up a great example if that (her views on how Shizuru should win over Natsuki's affections). Just because Midori states her thoughts on Natsuki, doesn't mean that it's true, or false. It's merely her perception. Midori's interpretation, and nothing more. It would be the same thing as someone asking a friend an opinion about something. You take words for what their worth. Just know, from here on out, all of these characters are going to be pulled and pushed in ways that are not always going to be appropriate.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is likely going to spin some heads, especially for those hard core Shiz/Nat fans...please, I beg you now, don't go ballistic, you guys had to have known this was coming.
> 
> Anyway, I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome...and on with the fiction!

**Chapter 17**

"Mahya is actually being useful, for once." It was only a little while before Nao came back with Natsuki's clothes, ones that would fully cover her form. Yet, when she entered the room, she was frozen, looking at emerald eyes. They gazed at the ceiling, a lost depth something just under the surface. It was indeed finely crafted wood, yes. However, it didn't need to be watched so intently. Those eyes seemed to glare darts at the very pictures of hope.

Nao couldn't help but find a warmth that the carvings offered. Tentatively she put the clothing off to the side. "I think I may buy her a drink when she comes back." Nao sighed, when only a slight nod spoke of the truth. Natsuki seemed tired, but, it wasn't purely exhaustion. "Hey, you'll make Shizuru worried if you get sick again so soon." This was something deject, and frighteningly indifferent. "Take it a little easier, alright?" A numbness Nao hadn't the chance to see often.

"As if you aren't worried..." Natsuki laughed softly in a defeat uncanny. "Honestly, sometimes I start to think that you're more bothered by it, than I am." Natsuki sat up then, letting her midnight tresses fall to the side, framing her face, as she leaned to look at Nao. "You act as if you weren't also tending to me. You've always been there in my time of need. Thank you for that, by the way."

Natsuki's guard was down, utterly so. "Why are you thanking me for, it isn't like i did all that much." In a way Nao doubted many would ever get to witness this side of the coin. "You shouldn't worry about it." One soft, and subtle. The eyes and mind of a woman, set free to do as she honestly desired, without the pretense of images. "Shizuru did most of the work."

Natsuki shook hr head, a small hum slipping from her lips. "You hide behind a tough front, but even in my delusions, I remember you bathing me with that cloth. You were there too, Nao, and you always are." Nao's eyes told her so much as they strayed away from her form. "I can always depend on you, and you've no idea how much that means to me." Admissions that would otherwise go unspoken. "I can tell you're worried." Desires screamed out, in times like this.

"So what if I am?" Nao shot back not missing a beat. "Someone has to worry about you. If I didn't, you'd go off and get into trouble." She sat on the bed then, a bit annoyed that Natsuki could read into her so easily. "The last thing I need, is you dying on me. Let's face it Natsuki, you need to start telling people these things." Though the look in Natsuki's eyes hinted otherwise, Nao couldn't help but feel remorse at her own selfishness. "You need to talk to Shizuru, tell her clearly, just how it is you feel."

"You know I can't do that." Natsuki sighed as she brought her knees up, so that she could rest upon them. "Even if I wanted to say something, I don't really know how I feel about her." It was a casual statement, one without hesitancy. "She's not exactly the kind of person I can take lightly." Then, she licked her lips. "Besides that, you and I are still..." Struggling for the words, before simply letting them slip out, it seemed so wrong to do. "Stuck together." It didn't sound right, but it was nearest thing Natsuki could reach. "If we don't find Freedom Nation, and Nagi gets married..." Natsuki sighed at that.

"Don't talk about it that way." Nao knew the truth, and it fell around them, like a heavy burden they couldn't get rid of. "It's bad fortune." Nao moved behind Natsuki, to pull her into an embrace. "Besides I know you don't really feel like that." She whispered into Natsuki's ear. "I'm sorry I couldn't have been a better person, back then..." Natsuki was warm, and this was a comfort they both dearly needed. "I love Erstin...but, I didn't intend to hurt you."

"You can't blame yourself. You didn't know it would happen." Natsuki replied, shaken that Nao would bring this up. "Besides, you know I wasn't all that innocent, either. I tried to escape things too, even if I wasn't able to find someone I really cared about." She tried hard to force a smile onto her lips, but it just wouldn't come forth. "You're really just lucky, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Even so, Nao couldn't kill off the guilt that lingered in the depth of her heart. "I don't want to seem like I'm accusing you, but, you seem to care about Shizuru." Nao spoke nervously. "You always look at her, and get that far off gaze in your eyes." Nao also knew Shizuru could become the same way, holding a passionate, lingering hope, in Natsuki's direction. "She would be good for you. I can see that. I think Midori can too, so, it's okay to be with Shizuru if that's what you want to do."

If admissions could kill, they would be doomed several times over by now. Still, even if they knew that, this wasn't only a weakness. It was absolute fact. An honor, sworn by only the deepest of resolves. Their past tangled them into a web of lies, and truths. They spun into each other. Somewhere along the way, hate, friendship, and eventually love, mingled. They were closer than ever before, but also, completely unattainable.

"Shizuru's different, I wanted to help her...but, she isn't a replacement for all of the things that happened in my past." Natsuki could clearly reach back to a time when they were younger, and in denial about a lot of things. "You and I, we got complacent...but, I didn't think it would hurt so much. I never realized, until it was too late." However, by then, there was nothing they could do to fix things.

"Don't hate anyone else, for my mistakes." Nao said then, clinging onto Natsuki a little more tightly. "I'm the one who should receive your scorn, not anyone else."

Natsuki only wished that were true. "I always thought I could escape it...that we could be something...different I guess, than what everyone else wanted us to be." In some ways, Natsuki still prayed for that, but she couldn't deny her feelings either. "You belong with Erstin." She also couldn't help but feel guilty. Knowing that she even cared for Nao as more than a friend, it cut deep. "I'm okay with that, I've made peace with it." It was something that had built up over years, and shattered instantly. Those feelings were hard to mend.

"You haven't, not entirely. Can we cut all of the formality already? It's time we start to face facts. We both made a lot of mistakes, but we can correct them." It was rare to see Natsuki so willing to be held. "I'm willing to try." That part was an undeniable truth.

"And just how do you intend to do that?" Natsuki's words lacked hope, and the pain lingering there wasn't new enough to bring forth any tears. That part of her emotion had scabbed over, healing as much as it possibly could.

"I can marry you, if that's what you want." Nao replied in her ear softly, they were still locked in that embrace. "I care about you enough that I would." It was a dead giveaway, it told just how much Natsuki missed what used to be part of their very breath. "I would do it, without even giving it a second thought. It is your rightful place, if you want that." Though, if that were the case, Natsuki would never be happy. "But, even if I were to marry you, I can't just cast Erstin aside."

It wasn't Natsuki's goal, to live and be apart of Artai...she refused it, entirely.

"I have my own kingdom to keep an eye on." Again, she would deny the proposal. "I can't do that, if I get married to you." Natsuki's words wavered, and she honestly just wanted to go back to the way things used to be. "I want to be a leader to those of the Black Valley, and fix the things that have gone wrong." She couldn't get married to Nao for that reason alone. Natsuki refused to acknowledge Artai as her homeland, she shunned it, she hated it so much. "Still, Shizuru worries me. I wonder if I could be a proper leader, and still be at her side."

The real truth was, Natsuki was not yet ready to close particular passages in her life...not until they formally called off the wedding. Until then she was bound by rules and laws, expectations and sickness. Fate had her twisted around, in a vice like grip. Natsuki was unable to escape it, at least, not yet. "For any of this to work, we need to get our proper bodies. You need to become a man, or you will never get to rule Artai. Nao, this isn't the time to worry about my love life."

"I know that well enough." Nao muttered. "I understand perfectly my role in all of this, sometimes I just fear that you forget your own."

"I've done nothing of the sort." Natsuki growled back, clearly annoyed at that. "However, it's because I understand, that I can't promise anything to Shizuru. It wouldn't be fair." Nao tightened their embrace, just a little bit, to steady Natsuki's wavering emotions, deeply tainted in bitter, frozen anger. "If Nagi gets married, you'll be forced to follow soon after. That was the promise we made with the family, or have you forgotten that?" It had been driving Natsuki crazy inwardly, and Nao had been outright furious at the simple facts. The truth was, they couldn't control Nagi.

If he got married, they wouldn't have a choice.

"That's why I refused to go back! You're the imbecile that agreed to journey north." Finger pointing wouldn't save them the distress, and after a moment, Nao sighed. "This wasn't in the planning. I thought Nagi would wait, at least a few more years."

"We can't run away from Artai forever." Even though Natsuki could rationalize it that way, she felt the pressure of living up to her expectations. "You have to go make sure Erstin is still doing alright, so either way, a visit was going to come sooner or later." Though, Natsuki hated to admit it, this was why she kept Shizuru at arms length.

"I know...okay, so don't get all defensive with me." Nao was the same. She did it to protect the woman of golden blond tresses. "I'll make sure she's okay, and then we can try to stall Nagi."

"If Mashiro accepts his proposal, we're not going to have a choice." It was a nod filled with vigor, but Natsuki couldn't say such a feeling reached her heart. It was merely for show, and she knew the false bravado was merely that. "I outright refuse to hurt Shizuru like that. I can deal with hurting her a little now, so that I don't emotionally wreck her later." Nao could see through it too, but it was all they had. Confidence was wearing thin.

"Shizuru suits you, when the time is right, she will." Still, as Nao let her fingers trace across Natsuki's lips, a sense of urgency fell over them. She insisted that Natsuki lay upon the bed. Nao loomed over her, a burning sensation of lime meeting emerald took them both off their guard. Nao caught Natsuki's wrists above her head, pinning her, just as Nao always used to do. "I understand our role, and who I am supposed to be for you." With measured ease, she slid Natsuki's robes open. "You are still my betrothed, Natsuki. You still want my touch, and there's no harm in that." Claiming Natsuki's lips as her own, the sweet taste of wine welcomed her on the tip of Natsuki's tongue.

This was a territory, that had once, only belonged to her. Natsuki used to beg for for only one name, and it was often times a heated, impassioned cry. Nao couldn't ignore the fact that Natsuki wasn't hers anymore. That part cut like a knife, and Nao pulled away. "Even if my heart does belong to Erstin, my loyalties stay with you." She let her head fall onto Natsuki's shoulder, sighing deeply at the scent that only Natsuki could have. Soft, sweet, and tempered with the sweat and grim found only within their world. A goal made made only for them. "They have always been with you." She whispered into the crook of Natsuki's neck, nipping at the supple flesh that was there. "Love and trust are very different, and I wish I could gift Erstin both."

Nao found it difficult. Erstin held her passions, and Natsuki protected all of her past, and insecurities. Nao suspected, that Shizuru was much the same for Natsuki. A passionate love, that was quite conceivably a road to self destruction. If they weren't careful all would be lost. Yet, if they didn't allow themselves freedom from the shackles that bound them, they would forever be trapped within a spiteful, lonely life. Natsuki would never be enough, Nao knew it...and still, Natsuki replied in kind.

Natsuki needed Shizuru, and Nao knew she needed Erstin. That was the simple truth of it.

"We shouldn't be doing this." Natsuki muttered, as she forced herself to look away. When Nao released herself from her own robes, the white garment fell off the bed entirely. "You're going to be a father soon." Natsuki breathed softly, trying to rid herself of the image that she longed for. "Like it or not, Nao, you have responsibilities." She couldn't deny however, this was something entirely different from Shizuru, who was by nature, a submissive woman. Shizuru was unlike Nao, who's emotions flared at the best, and worst of times. "Leave it at that."

Nao could burn her in ways Shizuru never could. There was a fire in those red eyes that wouldn't seem ignite, and Natsuki often times dearly wished it would...then, she would know for sure, that she was desired. The woman deep within her wanted this, to be able to be seen, without saying a word. To be understood, to be shattered, and to rebuilt. She longed for Shizuru to stand in a place such as this...but, yet, old habits died hard...and Nao, loomed over her, quelling such desires.

"Damn you." Nao replied back, and lime green eyes forced Natsuki to stare into them with intensity. "Don't look away from me, you stubborn bitch." Nao's voice could hardly find purchase in the room. "You're the one who ran away from me, when I told you the truth." It was the thing Nao hated the most. "You're the one who went to every brothel we passed, looking for a nightly lay. You were trying to get rid of the pain, by running away from me." It had finally become Natsuki's undoing. "And lastly, you're the one, who decided to bring Shizuru along with us. You're the one who's hurting Natsuki, not me." Slowly, she let her hand cup Natsuki's cheek. "We've been through a lot of things together, but I can't watch you do this to yourself."

Natsuki felt the burning tears fall from her eyes at that. The hints of betrayal were so fresh in her mind. "No, Nao, you can't. It's not right to do this." During a time when they were young, and very naive, Natsuki and Nao had not remained faithful. "It isn't fair to Erstin." They'd allowed each other to refuse the very fact that they were meant to be married. The mere idea didn't sit well with them at the time. They were youthful, and back then, still very childish. "She deserves more than just one part of you." They had their own ways to do things, and, while traveling their eyes opened to several truths, not all of them completely conventional. Many strange ways, that would be shunned in Artai, were welcomed in other places.

Soon Natsuki realized, the prejudices of Artai, were found, only in the snowy north. There were other values to be learned, and other places to be explored. There were people, who would gift her refuge.

Nao's eyes saw ways to improve her homeland, her conviction grew stronger for it. "Natsuki, have you not learned anything from Aswad?" Natsuki's eyes found ways to hate Artai even more, but, when she'd first glanced upon the Aswad, she took an interest in it. "You want to be among their people, I can tell. So, why not act as they would? Why deny me, even now, when you crave it?" Their ways, though odd, were welcomed...if not a bit disturbing.

Midori was a strong leader, and with her tutelage, Natsuki learned about truly being a pathfinder. "I'm trying to do what's right." It was a healing breath of sorts, a way to fight the pains of the world they lived in, and Natsuki learned about the Black Valley at great length. "I want to do what's right for everyone, regardless of my feelings."

"I'm sorry, that you don't want to live with me in Artai, Natsuki." It came as no surprise, surely, that when Natsuki first gazed upon the land covered in illness, that her new goal become solidified in stone. "But, I don't care about what's right. I care about you, and Erstin. I care about being that man I should be, the father I'm going to be, and the eventual husband I might be forced to be. Just like Shizuru can not be your main concern, Erstin can not be mine, or else, I know I will only fail."

"Nao." There was something horrifyingly fitting about how well their bodies fit together, how they could melt into an embrace so easily. Nao could kiss away those pained tears, and like daggers, they would pierce through Nao's heart. The transgressions of the past could never completely be forgiven, and to make matters difficult, things could not remain the same, either. Even if they both knew that, the appearances were hard to keep up, especially when they were not so far from the truth. "Don't regret it." Natsuki murmured when Nao dipped down to take a pert nipple between chapped lips, toying with it gently.

Natsuki's whims were not so easy to understand, but Nao knew the truth. "I'm not going to regret anything." It was a low murmur as Nao began to nibble on the lobe of one of Natsuki's ears. "If you aren't ready to let me go, just don't."

"I have to." Natsuki was trying to move on, and push away from the past. She was trying desperately to close the door with willpower alone, but that was not possible. "It can't stay like this."

"Until I become a man, worthy of leading Artai, we're forced to stay like this." That was the truth that angered them both, and yet, protected them from their own warring hearts. Nao knew it would be impossible to really move on from the situation. To keep from hurting, Natsuki had built a strong fortress of resolve. Nao was the only one that could shatter it, like the fragile emotions that they really were. Perhaps, it was because she knew the reasons behind the blockade. "Still, even then, I would never cast you aside."

"You'll have to, for Erstin's sake." Still, as she whispered such a thing, she couldn't deny feeling welling up in her heart.

Nao kissed the valley between her breast, and pulled her closer. Desire pooled between Nao's legs, like a confession she would never speak, even as she lowered herself onto Natsuki's length. Nao didn't dare utter the things she really wanted to say...and Natsuki never any hint, that she could see the true admission of their actions.

...

In order to walk around the main city, there was a dress code. It was strict, and everyone with even half of their wit intact, followed the code with honor.

"This is one of the most uncomfortable things, I've ever had the misfortune to strut around in." Natsuki muttered behind the cloth that covered her face. "I mean really, who walks around like this?" Natsuki sighed, failing to come up with a way to describe her annoyance. "You're lucky, you aren't crammed into one of these things." In truth, the garb of fine silk and cotton, woven to perfection, was beginning to feel confining. She was used to the lack of clothing, and the inherently explicit sights that would run rampant in Aswad. Here however, Natsuki found herself uncomfortable, feeling as repressed as ever.

"Welcome to the stuffy land of the Scholars." As they walked down the fairly busy roads, paved in gravel, Nao couldn't help but feel sympathy. "You know how it goes around here." Most people didn't pay them any mind, and actually seemed to do their best to avoid Nao, the fear still quite tangible. "I don't imagine we'll be staying for any length of time anyway." There were a rare few people who would come up and quietly offer their respects, but often times these were men, complimenting Nao about the upcoming nuptials. "Once we take a look at the damage, we should get out of here." It was a way for them to get on Nao's good side. "I hate this place anyway."

Among the many gifts that were given to them, a set of matching, golden broaches, were the most coveted. It was a tradition, a way to signify a couple before marriage. "You don't really want to go to Artai either." Natsuki muttered when she felt Nao's hand possessively guide her away from prying eyes. "Be honest, this is the lesser of two evils." Nao was leading the way to the observatory, making sure that the statement was made clear about just who Natsuki belonged to. "You don't have to do this, Nao. They know better, at least, one would think it to be the truth."

"We're also not married yet. I've got to keep up the ruse, for at least a little while." Nao retorted back dryly. "These people view women as a prize to be had, and even if they don't know the truth about you, they aren't blind." Natsuki's eyes alone were stunning, and her figure, though well hidden, was still womanly enough to prove a good point. Natsuki couldn't bind her breasts here, and they were pushed up and together by womanly undergarments. "Anyway, the only reason I'm going to Artai, is so that I can see Erstin." Nao's response was filled with it's own since of hesitancy at the mere idea. "She's got to be showing by now."

"Nao, about that..." Natsuki worried her bottom lip, she didn't want things to come of harsher than she knew they would be. "I think it would be best, if we sent Erstin some place safe for a while. Artai has been acting strangely, and even if you do take pride in your home, Nagi can't be trusted."

"I already understand that clearly." Once at the observatory, Nao paused. "However, Artai is the only home Erstin has ever known. Her family is there, and as much as I'd like to take her with us, I can't just force her to pack up and leave." That was only one problem of many. "The Aswad aren't exactly known for their comfortable methods of labor, either. In Artai, there are skilled doctors to look after her."

"You doubt Midori's skill?" Natsuki smirked at that. "Don't you dare utter a word of that to her, or she'll take offense." How many babies had Midori delivered? Natsuki was unsure, but she knew the number had to be quite high. "Besides, I would trust Midori before anyone in most of the apothecaries." Natsuki pulled the door open, and walked into one of the largest libraries she'd ever seen.

"Well, this is going to prove to be a pain. There's so many people here." Nao sighed dryly.

"The things we want are probably kept in storage, near the back." Natsuki explained, though when she looked around, she felt a bit unsure of that herself.

"I wouldn't count on it." Nao kept her voice down, a rarity for her. "Oh, great. Now we really are attracting attention." Mentally she grimaced with a few women stared at them in awe. Nao had been sure to make the color of her garb match Natsuki's, and the fact that they were both openly wearing a broach encouraged praise. From behind the cover a book, one particularly brazen woman, eyed Nao with interest. Eager to get to a more secluded space, Nao pulled Natsuki into one of the common rooms where more shelves awaited them. "We should ask around." This room was a class room.

"I agree, but not out in front." In fact, this place was crawling with people, not all of them native to the kingdom. "All of these, are likely for the common public." Natsuki could tell that easily from the sight of children who were reading in the corner. "What we need, are the rooms that are used for particular studies in mind." They followed the long, elegant tile that covered the entire room, until they reached the back. Two double doors paved the way for those with aspiring minds. "This is more like it." Natsuki murmured.

"Good god! How are we going to find what we need in this mess?" Nao was in awe, unaware that the library could be so big. There there were plenty of old records, maps, and studies that had been done over several years. It was a historian paradise. "Midori would have a field day in here. I doubt we'd be able to drag her out in less than a fortnight." Nao wondered idly if even she could find subjects of interest, though, she particularly hated reading anything academic.

"I'll bet Midori has already visited this place many times." Natsuki went over to one of the shelves and plucked a book from it, scanning it carefully. "No, this isn't what we need." The information Natsuki wanted, wouldn't come from this area. "No nomad wrote this." She knew that she would be looking for more worldly books. Ones that were beaten by both travel and time. "Come on, let's go." Now that they were beyond the simplicities, they could truly begin their search, and Natsuki began by continuing to weave her way around the many shelves.

Nao followed closely behind, all the while, feeling lost in a wealth of knowledge she would never own. She doubted anyone ever could.

Beyond the several large shelves of thick tomes, and people sitting quietly at tables, there were smaller passageways into more secluded rooms. Those however, where not made for the public eye, many would never be able to understand them. Natsuki would peek into a few of the rooms, but then she would ignore them entirely. Nao had to admit, this wasn't exactly her area of expertise. "What exactly are we looking for?" Along the wall, a spiral staircase would take people to the upper floors, but that had little in the way of interest it seemed.

They entered one more long corridor, with several doors attached.

"These rooms all have books geared to a specific style of study. They're made for those looking for a very special kind of information." In fact, they were often books only the most well educated of scholars could read, but that's what Natsuki was hoping for. "These books back here aren't written for the general public. Only those with a true interest would even wander into any of these rooms." They passed another, and as if to prove Natsuki's point, it wasn't just equipped with books, but also a wealth of ingredients and beakers that lined the shelves. "That one is meant for the students of the apothecary, clearly." Natsuki muttered, having visited that particular room once before.

Last time they'd visited this kingdom, she'd spent nearly a week, eying those complex tomes. She knew there wasn't anything useful in there.

Finally, they reached their quarry. Maps lined the walls along with several other little bits and pieces. This was a place made for only the best of nomads. There, she encountered a person who would be able to help her. "Excuse me." A person sat by their lonesome. Covered in a dark cloak, Natsuki was unable to tell if it was a man or a woman. Whoever this person was, they seemed contented to engage in their studies. "I'd hate to be a bother, but I do require some assistance." Slowly she stepped forth. "Do you think you could help me?"

"You come here, seeking me, how unfortunate." It seemed a bit odd, but when the stoic woman looked up from her book, she could not help but to study the emerald eyes of the woman before her. "I don't recall allowing you information. Who told you that I had come here for research?"

"Miyu?!" Nao barked at the woman who was an acquaintance of several long years. "Why are you here?"

"To read." Miyu said simply enough, before returning to the work scattered across her desk. "I do it frequently, as you know."

"You're supposed to be keeping an eye out for clues." Natsuki grumbled as she crossed her arms. "You're the last person I expected to see here." Though, in truth, it was a blessing in disguising. "I would ask you why you'd leave your post, but I know you well enough to know that won't do me a bit of good." Even if she wanted to remain angry at Miyu, she couldn't be, and sighed. "You should have come to the meeting in Aswad."

"Aswad is not my objective. I have pressing matters I must deal with." Without even an inclination of her true feelings on the matter, she picked up the book Natsuki had placed onto the table. "What would you like me to do with this?" Idly she flipped though it, unimpressed.

"Since you're here, you can translate it." Natsuki inwardly prayed the woman could do simply that, but she didn't seemed to react as she stared blankly at the page. "You can read it, can't you?"

"Indeed." Instead of being useful, however, she closed the book, and didn't bat an eye as she merely went back to her own interests. "It is a language that has not been used in several decades. It is, however, still quite common around here." As she turned the page in her dust covered tome, she paused, and looked up. "I do not have time to explain the intricate details written here."

"That doesn't help me now, and I don't have time to wait." Natsuki sighed, feeling the hot glower of Miyu's eyes upon her form.

"It is not a matter of importance." At least, in her opinion. "Medical logs such as these, aren't exactly of use to any of the territories around here." There weren't often times she took pity from Natsuki's inquiries, of which, there were normally many. "Though, there are scholars in Remus that may prove to have a need for this. They would be more willing to be of service, of that, I am sure."

"What about the distillate?" Nao asked then, stepping forward a little bit. "Did you find out anything when you were in the southern kingdoms?"

"Negative, not a single thing. Furthermore, there are no records about the distillate in Romulus, or Remus." Though not all was lost, and that's why Miyu had come here. "That is no longer my main priority." Miyu scanned the room, searching for anyone else who cold be listening in. There was only one gentleman in the far corner, he was sleeping at his post. "My travels prove inconclusive results. However, I've come to the understanding that if Freedom Nation were to exist, it would not only be found by going purely east. I fear I can not properly explain my findings." She pulled out a piece of parchment paper from her black cloak. "Though, this should be enough."

Natsuki took the folded piece of parchment and eyed it wearily. "Impossible." Natsuki whispered then, after seeing the scribbling that Miyu had clearly done in haste. "Those ruins have been under water for years, even before the war." A theory at best, lay waiting to be tested. "Even if we wanted to search them, we'd have no means of getting there."

"That is correct." Miyu nodded. "Now you understand. Searching the archives found on the southern boarder will be worthless, indefinitely." Miyu sighed then, when she saw Nao gazing over Natsuki's shoulder. "This insinuates that all of the data we would need, is now outside of our reach." Miyu went back to her maps, it kept her interest as she peered at a few choice locations.

"If that's the case, we should start looking into other royal archives." Nao drawled in boredom. "Either that, or backtrack. We could have missed something before."

The woman of midnight tresses shook her head. "The ones in Black Valley are all useless." Natsuki had personally checked. "I only found a few records worth mentioning. Among those, this book seemed like the most important." She couldn't fathom going on another ghost hunt, looking for thongs that were no longer in their rightful places. "There is nothing more to be found in the ruins we've already visited."

"My point, precisely." Miyu nodded. "Every archive you've examined thus far, are located in places that are meant to be forsaken." She crossed her arms at that, though her face stayed as emotionless as ever. "The records could have easily been stolen. You are searching in the wrong places, I would assume."

"So we have to search the places with big names." Natsuki could see where that would prove difficult. "The three major kingdoms of power, Artai, Windbloom, and Aries, all have stability." Though, when Natsuki thought about it like that, a bad feeling began to dance around in her belly. "Though I have no idea where they would store any of their records."

"Artai's are hidden in a fortress embedded in a mountainous region." Nao responded, knowing the location within her kingdom. "I doubt we can just waltz right into random kingdoms, and demand to see the royal archives." Nao groused, thinking of just how difficult that would be. "If most places are anything like Artai, it would be impossible. You need keys beyond the door, and some of them have traps scattered all over the place. It isn't like we can just break in."

"No, perhaps not." Natsuki replied then. "However, we have to go to Artai anyway, so that one, at least, is worth looking into. We can hijack that particular key when Nagi isn't looking."

"We could be killed, Natsuki." Nao jibbed in a sing-song voice, just a little worried about the gleam in emerald eyes. "That's considered a traitorous offense. Only Nagi is allowed in there, and stealing they key alone, is punishable by his whims."

"Question; what would be more painful? Being hung for treason, or dying a slow, painful death?" Natsuki sighed as she crumpled up the paper and shoved it into Nao's pocket. "When we get to Artai, I'm going, with or without you."


	21. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It is with glee that I chant: Morality, morality, morality. Every person in this world can be a walking hypocrite...no one is exempt from that all the time. No one is perfect...and includes every character in this AU fiction. They are going to make mistakes, they are going to hurt each other...they are going to be utterly human, and flawed in their existence. If that bothers you, run away, because it is going to get personal with a lot of these characters. Shizuru's rejected Natsuki's advances twice, so she's no little perfect either...it's all about interpretation...
> 
> About the Natsuki/Nao thing...and it's been in setup for several long chapters now. I also warned that the northern territories would start shaking things up, and Romulus is to the north. Don't worry to much about it though, this is still primarily a Shiz/Nat fan fiction...that will not change...but, Natsuki and Nao are engaged, and technically have been since the beginning of the fiction. They've both committed adultery if you think about it...and Shizuru knows about the engagement, so, she's not completely innocent either.
> 
> Anyway, this fan fiction will play with morality, and has done since chapter one..that fact will not change. So again I chant in happy glee: Morality, morality, morality.

**Chapter 18**

"See, this is why you have to keep up your guard at all times." Midori sighed, looking at the knife that had cleanly cut the side of Shizuru's shoulder. "There were no poisons on this blade, correct?" The star had come from the two combatants that were training next to them, and when both young men shook their head with negative statements, Midori took in a sigh of relief. "It's shallow, so you don't need stitches, but even so, you could have been hurt."

"I thought this was a land of scholars." Shizuru winced in pain, trying her best not to cry out as her wounds were being tended.

"It is." Midori noted dryly. "Why do you think he missed his target entirely?" There were medical kits nearby for dressing the wounds from training. Midori had already opened up one of the wooden boxes to tend to the gash. This was the only place in all of Romulus, where a woman, especially one of little importance, could wear leathers. "No real warrior would ever lose focus like that."

"Perhaps not, but they're studying projectiles, not trying to kill each other with them." Mahya replied softly, sitting on a crate. "Even if they are not a race of people who value such a thing, they still study it." The outdoor arena was one of the many things found on the second floor of the observatory. Even if it was merely a way to pass the time, Mahya couldn't help but take an interest in the sparring practitioners. "How else are they to devise effective traps? They are tactical experts, it behooves them to have an immense understanding of combat, and of the way people think."

"If that's the case, you'd assume they would be better at it." Though, Shizuru wondered if that was really the case. She clearly hadn't any skills to be spoken of, at least, not as of yet. She tried to lift up her arm to get a better look at her injuries, but a firm grip stopped her.

"Hold still." With that mumbled instruction in place, Midori ripped Shizuru's shirt sleeve clean off, so that she could bandage the wound without fabric in the way. "Geez, why didn't you tell me you were messing up on your blocking?" There was a horrible bruising forming on her arm as well. "The brute show of force, is ultimately what they lack." Midori nodded to herself. "You also lack such a thing, but, there are ways to make up for it."

"Midori, be careful!" Shizuru warned when the redhead tried to start cleaning the large shoulder wound. The woman ducked in time to dodge another botched attempt at throwing knives. "That's the third time today..."

"Trainees..." Midori sighed as she bandaged the newest gash Shizuru had acquired in the past hour. "With the way they're going, they'll kill each other before they see a battlefront." Seeing the dark blood for the first time was something sickening, but it was even worse when a few droplets all but ate away the glove on Midori's hand. "Honestly, the people don't have any real need for fighting. The traps normally do just fine." She tried not to focus on that aspect, and instead swallowed down her own disgust. "The reason I brought you here to observe, is because of their lack in skill."

"Enough of that!" Mahya finally called to the men, when she snatched a particularly slow moving knife out of the air. "Switch to swordplay, at least then the two of you can make progress." Though they were young and robust, they were still green, and were two of the newest recruits to the militia. "So, do you think are they redeemable?"

"Bluntly speaking, yes." Midori's eyes looked over to the lads that had enlisted of their own free will, brothers both in blood, and in arms. "A few weeks with any of my kin, and it'll set the militia here on the right path." Though, in truth, she wondered the same about the woman in front of her. "This is going to hurt, keep still." The supplies were meager, and the only way to kill the pain was to chew on a few leaves known for numbing qualities. It wouldn't aid Shizuru at all, and when the gooey ointment was smeared over the cut very carefully, she hissed in discomfort.

"Why aren't you putting more pressure on the dressing?" Mahya asked as she saw Midori's squeamish reactions to Shizuru's seeping blood. "It won't be tight enough to stop the flow at that rate."

"Do you see how fatal this stuff is?" Midori sighed when she held up her palm, she'd still managed to get an acidic burn from Shizuru's blood, even with her leather armor. "This girl is literally a human weapon." It was then with a smirk that wouldn't seem to ebb, she took humor in that. "Shizuru, when a sword flies at you, let it hit you in a non-vital area once, and then start flinging your blood around." After the blood stopped dripping, Midori got a little braver with dressing the wound. "It would scare off many men, I guarantee it."

"I can't imagine that to be very effective. I would rather not, if it can be avoided." Shizuru said in way of an apology. "I'm sorry, I just don't have an understanding of the way it was intended to be used."

"Your people, like us nomads, preferred to use many styles of blades. The reasons are fairly obvious to any skilled fighter." Midori assumed, for a person such as Shizuru, the pros really did out weigh the cons. "If you laced wet blood on any blade, and then attack someone with it, the damage would be immense." It was not unlike the tactics of using animal venom, something the nomads used often for protection. "Furthermore, even unarmed, you could prove deadly, as long as you have a way to draw blood from your body." Still, this woman had a long way to go before she could be any real threat.

While it was true that they agreed to meet at the observatory, Natsuki readily assumed it would be down in the library portion of the building. So, when they exhausted all other options, it was purely by chance, that they found the rest of their group. "I really wish you wouldn't teach her that kind of thing." Natsuki was the first one to make it up the long flights of stairs. She could already see that Shizuru had a weapon nearby. Natsuki could also see the glimmering of something moist reflecting off of the sun, and that worried her. "Out of my way." Natsuki frowned as she shoved Midori off to the side and clutching onto the bandage Midori was tying around Shizuru's shoulder. "You aren't hurt badly, are you, Shizuru?" It was a question that was quiet, but filled with worry.

"I'm quite alright, Natsuki." Though, Shizuru doubted she looked the part. "Truly, it's merely a flesh wound. We were merely spectators, and it got a little out of hand."

"You weren't going to be a spectator for long." Natsuki sighed, her eyes falling down to the naginata at Shizuru's side. "There are proper seats up above for those who wish to watch the battles." No, eventually, Shizuru would have stepped foot into that ring. "Nao and I came to this level with the intention of killing time, not finding you."

"Natsuki, it's alright really." The fury in emerald eyes seemed well concealed, but Shizuru knew better. "We came to observe, I had no intention of walking into the ring today."

"Yet, you plan to do it at a different time?" Incredulous, and not at all soothed by the information, Natsuki tried dearly to keep her composure. Still, old habits died hard, and the urge to lash out became the first instinct. "What's gotten into you?" Still, it wasn't aimed at Shizuru. "This is dangerous, and regardless of what she says, it isn't a sport." Natsuki turned to look at Midori, a nearly predatory gleam in her emerald eyes. "Teaching Shizuru how to fight." Her eyes trailed down to the weapon that Shizuru had been holding. Then her eyes found Midori's own dirty blades. "Don't you think you should run this kind of thing by me first?" Nao had just gotten up the steps to see the angry stare down, and Natsuki's prying questions. "Isn't this something I should know about?"

"I didn't think it was any of your concern." Midori replied coolly as she stood up from the ground. "She's a grown woman, Natsuki. She can make her own choices."

"Oh yeah, because she would chose bloodshed?" Natsuki crossed her arms, peering at Shizuru. "A person like her isn't even capable of something like that."

"She carries the weight of a warrior already. It doesn't matter what you want, because in the end, she could be put into danger. You can't guarantee her utmost protection." Midori could see that clearly. "Furthermore, blood is already on her hands, even if she was not the one who put it there."

Natsuki was livid. "It is my concern." Midori paused when Natsuki said that, a venomous anger lacing her voice. "Don't ever forget, Shizuru is someone who follows me, she'll always be by my side."

A dance of blades could have settled the dispute easily. In fact, if it had been a person born and raised among such an ideal, Midori would have welcomed it. This however, was not a normal anger, and she could see the territorial gleam of a person in love. A fierce protector at that...but she also knew, that alone would never be enough. "If that is the case, act with honor, Natsuki." Midori didn't turn to look at her. "Always with honor." Instead, she just walked away, knowing it wasn't worth the fight.

Shizuru sat there motionless. Those words were once spoken by Natsuki before, and for not the first time, she saw a lingering reflection in Natsuki's eyes. The emerald orbs shimmering with everything the woman ever wanted, fighting with passion against the tides, of everything she was expected to be.

...

Once they met up, they couldn't waste anymore time. With reluctance, Mahya took them on foot beyond just the southern markets. The fear in the eyes of the people changed whenever they saw Mahya. Praise fought their ears in whispers. Eyes fell upon her, not with lechery, but with hope. Even if she was not born in this kingdom, her blood hailed from it. Mahya was a descendant of a long lost kingdom, one that split many decades before the war. They called her the desert goddess, a title given to her not only by bloodline, but, by the facts surrounding history. While it was unknown outside of the desert, just why she accepted such bold declarations, here, it was far different.

In the sands, she was loved just as much as any of the rulers.

A melancholy accompanied the air of hope. As they trudged beyond the markets, and through the back alleyways. Smoke that had only been a minor annoyance filled the air. The smell one of death, decay, and heartbreak. It was not long when they finally reached the northern end, the truths despicable at best. There was not a recommendation anyone could give as to why it had happened. While that seemed foreboding, it also allowed the hushed surrender of calm to fall over the citizens, and that was something they desperately needed.

Anointing the dead with oils and hushed prayer was something found to be done in mass. While they were not always friendly with each other, they were kin. These were their neighbors...this was their homeland, and they suffered greatly from their losses. Midori could only watch on as cremation brought forth ends of a spiritual nature. That was not the only thing to observe, and they dared not linger long enough to try. Though, Mahya lingered for a few moments to greet and tend to the families.

All around them, Nagi's wrath etched the very air they breathed. All it took was to merely turn around to see a sight unfit for just anyone. This place a hollowed ground, not meant for those who didn't suffer.

"So, this is the conviction of a man that Mashiro could marry." It seemed wrong to look at it that way. Still, it was the only way Midori could remove herself from the situation. "He is unworthy of her. As single minded as she can be, she could never cause something so disheartening." That was at least a comfort, but, it didn't stop the sights before them. "This is also lacking in any true motive." The aftermath seemed devoid of any true entitlement, as if, some deity had merely had a temper tantrum at best. "Tell me, was this merely a show of power, truly nothing more?"

"Nagi is an angry person most of the time." Natsuki said while closing her eyes, willing away the distress that she knew pooled in her emerald orbs. "Even if that very anger consumed him, he takes pride in the principality." She had seen many things far more horrific, but, time had ebbed those places away. She had no connection to those places. This was tangible in every single way, a reality that she hadn't seen, and could not have stopped. "Nagi wouldn't do this as a game."

"I would hope not." Midori kept her mask of indifference as hard as stone, but those who could see beyond it, saw a woman mourning lives, and planning vengeance. "No one within their right mind should do anything like this as a mere game." Though, she wondered then, just what he had been looking for, if anything at all. "There is no reason to this. None that I can see. Though, if I were to reach out and pull blindly at the evidence here, the only thing I can conclude is desperation. Someone here might have had something that he wanted."

"So he destroys an entire district? Impossible at worst." Natsuki couldn't keep her contempt out of her voice. "Midori, even you know that's got to be a shot in the dark."

"What else do we possibly have to go by?" That was indeed the question of the hour. The smell of fire had yet to leave the area. Blood and ash painted hues of ominous color, ones that no person should ever witness. Midori could only look at her own hands, the soot was not merely of wood, or brick. "The dead can't possibly tell us what happened here. Those who can speak, would never utter secrets meant to be carried on into the afterlife." No, this was a day where they would have to rely on unspoken revelations.

The unnerving calm something of a heart beat, in and of itself.

The tolls were heavy, and the fines were not merely a payment of life, but also of honor. "Nagi..." Nao was shaking, her anger knew no boundaries, as she tried to contain her fury. "What kind of man does this?" Natsuki held her back from completely losing it, but even contained, her fury would leave scars. Her knees dripped red, as she knelt down to one body laying in glass...a person who was unrecognizable, half of a roof still on top of them. "Who the hell does this! If they've any sanity at all, who even thinks it?!"

"Sights like these were his story, their screams, his lullaby." Midori murmured. "That's why he can." She hoped at least, that was the reason. That he knew nothing else, and acted rashly out of ignorance alone. It would not have made the situation forgivable. "His father was a brutal man, Nao." However, it would have eased Midori, just a little. Her stirring gut told her many things, but Midori chose to ignore it. "As a babe, you understood love at least a little bit. I doubt Nagi was given a scrap of what you were...and I know you were given not nearly enough." Anyone raised to be so spiteful, would follow accordingly. It was a law that life seemed to follow more often than not.

"That isn't an excuse!" Nao shouted, fighting to pull away, and even when she struck Midori clear across the face, toppling Natsuki over in the process, their group fell into stunned silence. Nao's breath was labored as she fought to keep herself from pummeling the woman before her. "Nagi did this on his own...no one could have told him to do it." Idly she wondered why Midori didn't answer with a reply with her blade, something easy enough to do.

Instead, Midori merely sighed, looking at Nao with pity, as she moved over to the burnt corpse. "They say that the desert is made to soak up the transgressions in this world." She bent down, picking up a tattered photograph of a family that was probably gone, shaking her head. Without a thought to whom it might belong, she set it ablaze completely. "However, if that were truly the case, ghosts of the past wouldn't haunt the eyes of the living." Of what little ash there was, she let it scatter into the sands. No more than mere particles of a memory long gone.

"You make it seem insignificant, when you word it like that." Natsuki muttered, her embrace, merely a way to keep Nao from completely losing it. She buried her face into Nao's shoulder. It was a plea, to keep as calm as humanly possible. "Maybe, it's just because you're used to it, but we're not."

"Not at all." Mahya replied, understanding the true meaning. "There is no honor in death, that is a truth beyond measure. Still, there is also no redemption, for those who cling onto what is not theirs to keep." It was the way the desert worked, the way the strong lived on. "The desert has been covered in death since the beginning of its time, this is merely a reminder of that. Nothing that Nagi does, will change that fact."

"So much destruction." Shizuru murmured in awe. Even if no one could see her face behind the thin cloth that covered it, she stood in shock, at the reality that graced the sands. "How can any one man do this?" She couldn't fathom it. Even as long as it had been since Nagi's attack, the pungent reality lingered in the air. The sun was hot, drying every bit of the blood, and the bone, that had been left behind. Homes had been destroyed, people slaughtered, all in the name of something that went unknown.

Even though the dead were still being buried, and rituals were chanted by mourning families and holy men, it did nothing to sooth the sickening feeling that only an outsider could feel. It was numbing, and though some might consider it a blessing, Shizuru surely didn't.

"Anyone is capable of greed." Midori's voice was quiet, as the sounds of digging continued, a backdrop for all of the tears others let fall freely. "You need not be a man for that, only an angry soul." Her servery was enough to tell them exactly what had gone on. "Although, one must wonder just why anyone, would feel the need to cast down this type of vengeance." Woodwind interments were something that could be heard in the distance, and Midori found it oddly fitting among the swaying sands. "It doesn't matter what we may feel. What's done, is done. No amount of retribution can undo this."

"Oh, no." Nao was nearby, a scowl at everything in sight had been plastered firmly across her face. The fact that her shirt sat open, announced true fury from the tense position, her very form rippling in strength, as she clenched tight muscles. "Nagi will pay, I refuse to assume otherwise." With slow, meaningful steps, she neared the wreckage of a home that now harbored not even a soul to mourn it. "The man living inside died from his wounds, not even a few hours ago." What was worse, was the forgotten soul had no family in which to mourn him, either. "How many men have to die a lonely fate, purely because my cousin can't keep his wits about him?" Nao entered the abode, where the dead man rested, his eyes closed in peaceful slumber.

"Midori, a knife." He would never wake again. "A quality one." Nao requested.

Midori frowned until she looked down at the crest that adorn his chest proudly, his hand was over his heart, he had died not in fear, but with pride. "A true warrior can not be without a proper blade." She pulled away one of the swords at her side, and placed it gently in his hand, closing his fingers around it. "See to it that this man is buried with all the love his kin can give him. He is one of the true gifts of this kingdom, his deeds should not be forgotten." She put her arm on his shoulder, and nodded her head to him one last time. "Continue to protect your people, warrior, even in death."

They didn't stay in the shadows of the aftermath. It wouldn't have been right to do so. This was a time for families, and loved ones. Still, even so, Midori couldn't help but give Mahya direct orders. "I want you to go speak with Rad. Tell him we need four caravans of willing warriors ready to go on the defensive. Give him distinct word. We need laborers to clean up this mess, and craftsmen to build houses. These people need food and water, tell him that I expect generosity, and as quickly as it can be afforded." She talked quietly so as not to be heard by the citizens. They walked down narrow pathways, heading back to the inn.

"Four caravans is a lot of people." Natsuki sighed, knowing well what Midori was thinking. "You think Nagi will be back quickly. We shouldn't linger if that's the case. We need to go to Artai now, and find out precisely what's going on." Natsuki bit her lip and turned to Nao. "How quickly could Nagi's forces strike again?"

"There is no place for them to be, unless they've made camp near the border of Artai." Nao shook her head. No one could survive that weather for very long. "It is unlikely, if that's the case. It's the icy season, after all. Freezing rain would rip through the tents, and I doubt he would be willing to allow his men to be frostbitten before battle." Still, the very thought of Nagi planning another attack bothered her. "There are several outposts dotting the area, correct?"

Mahya nodded. "There are ten of them within the boarders of Romulus." Thought, when she thought about it, those weren't anything of value. "Though, the people there aren't friendly, they're unused to outsiders." It was because of that, she knew that Nagi wouldn't post his men in any of them. "Right now, most from Artai are worthy of death if they merely step foot into the sands. Romulus won't tolerate visitors from the northern regions right now. Orders are to kill on sight."

"I wouldn't want to risk doubting it." Midori nodded. "With how strong Nagi is, he could send spies...honestly, I would have ordered the same." Still, even if they wanted to be of more help, what these people needed would take time to give them. Midori knew she couldn't linger here and wait for help to arrive. She would have to trust Mahya and Rad to deal with this situation. "We need to go back to decided what we want to do next...either way, we can't stay here."


	22. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Once back at the safety of the inn, they gathered in the small common room, sipping freshly brewed tea, a rarity that often was enjoyed only by nobles. It was a rich blend, the aroma was soothing, and the taste welcoming after so many days of wine and water. Shizuru particularly took pleasure in the subtle flavors that lingered in the wake of every sip. Nao was not one for the substance, but still partook of a cup, merely to please the gentleman that had been tending to their every command all evening.

As if to further acquire the good graces of Nao, and Midori, the innkeepers had done their beat to prepare a meal that befitted those of the northern lands. Meat, something often in short supply, dressed their table in luxury. They ate, filling their bellies, yet it was not in merriment, as one would normally come to expect. No, they found themselves pondering thoughts, that carried ominous winds. Occasionally, banter would begin for a moment, before it slipped away into the recesses of things better left unspoken. The calamity of truth, was not one so easily thwarted.

When their plates were carried away, they had no more reason to keep quite. It was time to deliberate amongst themselves what the best course of action was to take. Hesitantly, none of them really wanted to get the conversation of the hour going. Merely speaking of anything at length, came with no small amount of difficulty. At first, it was about idle travels.

Places that they'd visited, the changes they'd seen.

That, slowly but surely, changed. Morphing abruptly into discussions about Nagi, and the misfortune he brought, a blatant disregard for life at the forefront of his actions. Then, a sour topic about weddings came up, followed by Nao's plans to avoid the coming nuptials with Natsuki. That didn't last long, however, and it was currently, while speaking about an old friend, that Midori took humor in Natsuki's vexation.

Still the old ruins were no laughing matter, and, Miyu had been a great help, even if she hadn't seemed like it. With a chuckle Midori shrugged. "I would say she took pity on you..." Natsuki's questions had easily been an afterthought at best, but, at least they had been partially answered. "What ruins have you visited thus far?"

"We know the ruins in the Black Valley are as good as gone. The ones from Shizuru's old home are also torn to bits." Nao muttered, cutting off what Natsuki was clearly going to say. "There wasn't anything in either of them, last time we checked."

Natsuki nodded defeated at that. "I promise you, all of the places we could safely check into have been completely run dry." While the implication was lost on Shizuru, Midori understood perfectly. "The only thing we can do now, is investigate the major kingdoms involved in the war." Though, as she sighed, tucking a strand of hair back under her garb, she couldn't help but feel aggravated. "There are only three left standing, but, they are the best shot we have."

"Yeah, but Miyu didn't translate that book either." Nao muttered, a bit angry about that little detail. "She said she had other things to do, so she totally ignored it. She said Remus might be able to help, but that she wasn't going to stick her nose into it."

"Well, what did you expect from that vagabond." Midori looked at the crumpled piece of parchment that Miyu had scribbled in great haste. "Miyu isn't known for her loyalty, she's known for her knowledge." Still, this proved to be trouble. "You can't expect her to cooperate all the time, it isn't her nature." She smoked freely from the pipe in her hand, Natsuki doing the same of her own, trying to relieve their addled minds. The stress the day had given them quite the heavy heart. "She knew the original path, so I hoped she would have found a new way by now."

Natsuki, feeling particularly bothered by that, could only click her tongue in annoyance. "I guess we can't rely on that anymore."

"Wait a moment, please." Shizuru licked her lips, as if the simple action would give her all of the answers in the world. "A new way?" Stirring the tea in her cup, regarding the warm liquid, thinking of it as a treasure, she mulled over that very topic. "You make it sound as if passage was once a simple thing."

"It was, at one point in time." Nao mumbled, holding a wine bottle in her hand, forgoing all pleasantries as she drank deeply from the bottle, her own tea long gone. "Now that ideal is about as worthless as one can make it sound." She wasn't particularly bothered, and wished to be in a stupor. "I wouldn't worry about it."

"The mountain pass isn't gone, we just know better to step foot into it." Natsuki replied, and then she turned to Midori. "We need to tell Shizuru. We can't keep it a secret forever, Midori. Tiptoeing around the situation won't do anyone any good."

"I suppose not." Midori had to agree, but as she closed the door to the common room, to make sure everything stayed private, she couldn't help but watch Shizuru's every move. "However, you'll have to give me pardon. I hate that we'll have to, even if I knew we couldn't put it off forever." She lingered at the door, examining every grain within the wood, before turning around. "What we're about to say isn't common knowledge to most people. In fact, Shizuru, it would be quite dangerous if you would happen to betray us." With a sigh, she knew she couldn't hesitate. "If you utter a word about any of this, to anyone outside of the fold, and I will personally kill you."

"Midori!" Natsuki coughed then, smoke billowing from hour mouth violently. "Come on now, you don't have to make idle threats."

Her eyes fell onto Natsuki, they shared a glance, and Natsuki grew quiet. "I'm not saying this is jest, I will kill her. You had best keep an eye on that girl. You say she's yours, after all. You'd best live up to that fact." It was only after Natsuki nodded in agreement, that Midori relented. "You can tell her about the pathway...but not even a word about the other stuff...only speak about the pathway."

"Understood." Natsuki licked her lips, and turned to Shizuru carefully. "Your people, and mine, were once able to reach Freedom Nation through a long, narrow gully, located where Aswad stand today. You see, at one time these desert lands were actually lush grasslands, not unlike the Black Valley, but that was several centuries ago." She took a small match, and lit her pipe again, partaking of the smooth flavor as reached her mouth, and slid into her lungs. "Now, that cavern, and its passageways, make up the home that Midori, and her people, live in."

"If the way through is simply blocked off, why not just create a new pathway?" Shizuru knew that wouldn't be overtly difficult. "There are many miners and blacksmiths I know of, who would be most willing to be of help."

"Yes...well, to hear Natsuki speak like that, it seems almost simplistic." Midori came back to sit, putting down her pipe. "If one were to travel eastbound for a long enough time, and, pass by the kingdoms along that boarder, you would reach a very dangerous passageway." In fact, it was one Midori shuttered to think about. "That is actually part of the gully. Now, for reasons unknown, there is no life there, and a person would not last long, going through it." It was with great regret, she gifted the last bit of her news. "The ground is covered with black ash, and the soot is dangerous to breath. However, if one were to pass through there, unharmed, they would reach a new territory, ones not on our maps."

"Freedom Nation." Shizuru was catching on. "You know for a fact that it's beyond that gully?"

"It has to be in that general direction." Natsuki replied, though she wasn't an expert in that matter. "If you go eastbound enough and fall down into the gully, it's a graveyard. There are bones down there, you can see them from up above. Nao and I have gazed down into the abyss. We can only guess what's actually down there." Natsuki shrugged, she wasn't entirely sure. "But, chances are good, Shizuru, that if we could get beyond that, the new lands on the other side would take us to Freedom Nation."

"Geographically speaking, anyway." Midori interjected, as she rubbed her face with her hands. "We're assuming this based on maps, with words we can hardly read." It was exasperating to say, let alone to continually think about. "Needless to say, we're taking our best guess here." Though, knowing land was there didn't make their lives easier.

"The problem is, we can not pass through that gully." Natsuki picked back up with a sigh. "It doesn't help that the other route, the one through Aswad is closed off, and we can't get through."

"We could blast it open." Midori amended with a small growl to her voice. As if, that idea was the worst one to be had. "However, if that black air is on the other side, we risk great detriment to those still healthy. In fact, it could cause another widespread illness, worse than the ones already rampant. For all we know, that soot could be the initial cause." That was thinking of the matter mildly, but it was all Midori could afford at the moment. "We simply aren't sure, but, the insinuation is there."

"You fear that." Shizuru nibbled at her lip, thinking deeply about the black ash and soot. "You think it would be highly contagious?"

"The air is heavy." Natsuki told Shizuru. "It sinks to the ground like a mist." The other conclusion also came easily. "That means, moisture has to pass through a lot of rocks and other minerals. If you were to look at how rivers flow, and underground channels, eventually, it has to pass beyond there, in some way. Freedom Nation sits on a lower elevation, probably one either at, or below sea level. That is how the distillate can form, we're positive."

"If that's the case, how can we possibly reach it?" Shizuru frowned, not expecting to hear this news. "It sounds like one long death trap." It was an idle thought, but one Shizuru couldn't cast aside. "Couldn't we just climb around somehow? You could go up and over couldn't you? There has to be a path somewhere to do that."

"The way a planet is formed, the theory doesn't always work that way." Midori had thought about that as well, but Gal had thoroughly nixed that idea. "According to Gal, surely we could climb right over Artai's eastern cliff side. However, we've no idea where we might end up. There are no maps to dictate what we'll find, at least not right now. That's what we're looking for." Midori explained, as she got up to pour everyone another round of tea. "At any rate, there's got to be another way to get there. We just have to find it."

"Miyu told us directly, that information wouldn't be found in local libraries." Natsuki said slowly, pausing to think. "If it is around, it would be kept in the storerooms that protect the archives of each kingdom." A dangerous task indeed. "There's a good chance that back before the war, and even predating most of the kingdoms that are in power today, that there was several ways to get to Freedom Nation."

"Right." Midori nodded, sipping her tea. "We just have to hope at least one of them isn't closed off."

"But...why?" It was the one thing Shizuru couldn't understand. The very thought made her heart ache. "Why would information like that be hidden?" Shizuru crossed her arms and leaned back into the chair tiredly. "You would think that it would be held in the highest regards."

"You are dense sometimes..." Nao couldn't believe that she was going to agree with this plan, but found no other option. "People like rumors, and folklore...it gives the dreamers something to believe in, as moronic as that sounds. Adversely, it gives those who are skeptical a way to criticize the world." Eventually, Nao assumed, it was inevitable. "Generally speaking, information from that long ago means nothing to most of the world today. It isn't relevant, and, even if it was, advances have been made over the years." It was a terrible way to do things, but that is what happened, regardless. "For most people, it's a bedtime story, or a drunken rant over a grog. It means nothing."

Midori agreed entirely with that assessment. "Any sort of time invested in preserving such a thing, would be buried deep in the old histories." Midori chuckled then, putting the pipe back to her lips. "Most rulers are so caught up appearances." The little princess, Mashiro, came easily to mind at that. "I doubt they have any idea what sort of information awaits to be discovered."

That wasn't all however, and Nao knew it. "Then there are others, far out of the way, like the one in Artai. The major city there has changed hands many times, so the archives are locked away in old ruins that honestly, I doubt we could reach easily." A breath filled with fury slipped from her lips. "Even we could, there are other problems. Nagi won't give us the key, he likes holding things over my head. Things...that should be mine."

"It's late." Natsuki sighed then, knowing that was a dangerous line of thought for Nao to travel on. "We should go get some sleep, and send word by dove at sunrise." She put her hand on Nao's lap, begging for simple agreement. "I'm not the only one who needs rest, and the beds are warm."

"Alright...fine." Nao didn't want to agree, but the warring look in Natsuki's eyes wasn't a comfort either. "Let's go."

Natsuki nodded, but waited a moment. "Your room is next to ours." She told the other two women. "If we aren't up by the time you two are, beat on the adjoining wall. That will wake us up for sure."

Shizuru bit her lip, when Natsuki tossed her a pleading glance. One begging her to understand, and Shizuru sighed, and nodded with all of her willpower. When Natsuki and Nao began to leave the common room, all of that conviction to stay strong became horridly weak. She couldn't deny the utter pain in her chest, the mere thought of Natsuki sharing a bed with someone else, it was something she could hardly stand. "If you love her, you'll have to make yourself stronger." Shizuru could hear Midori's voice, but she couldn't bring herself to respond. "Natsuki can't protect you, the way you are now."

"How?" Shizuru found that her voice was hard to control. "How do I become strong enough?" It shook, wavering in determination, and in pain.

"What's your reason for staying here?" The prying question a reminder of all the things Shizuru had already heard. It came flooding back, but still, Shizuru had yet to come up with a better reason.

"I love Natsuki." It was simple enough, but, it was not a passion that could be driven by the pure willpower of individuality. "That is my reason."

"Find a new one." Midori muttered. "Live to see the next day. Fight for your desires. Etch your hopes in blood. Cry with a flood of tears." Midori smirked at the old teachings of her people. "If you want Natsuki to be yours alone...if you do not wish to share her, you must divide, and you must conquer. However, Nao is not the enemy you must defeat."

"I'm afraid I don't understand." Shizuru searched, but could find nothing within Midori's eyes. Not a hint at all.

"Humans are starving creatures. We have a taste, and we desire more." With careful meaning, she put her hand on Shizuru's shoulder. "Natsuki is very important to everyone, and always loyal. However, her eyes have opened to see a very different life than she ever thought possible. That life is one you've only just begun to see. There was once a time Natsuki was as blind as you are now. As unseeing, and also unwilling to believe that there could be any other method to her happiness. Right now, I can clearly see you love her, but, ask yourself. Where does that love stem from? Do you love her truly, or, is it merely hero worship?" Then she looked back at the weapon she had given to Shizuru, it rested upon the wall. "Until you've got your own reason to fight, to stand by Natsuki's side, you won't have that answer."

"What makes you think that you do?" Her voice held only the slightest accusation, but it was one that Midori laugh loudly. "I hardly see the humor."

"There are many forms of love." Midori had taken the time to stretch her tired body before offering her hand to Shizuru, and invitation of sorts to stop her brooding. "I love both of those little hot heads, they're like kin to me. That's how I know. I also know that it's a teaching of my people. Love can always share goals, but, it should never be the goal. Nao and Natsuki are perfect examples of people you meet, of bonds you build. They're priceless, regardless of the type of love that it is."

Though with a careless shrug, as if she could throw her words away, Midori smirked. "You'll find your way, eventually." Midori could tell, Shizuru was going to become a great one, if only she opened her eyes a little wider...smiled, just a little brighter...and lived on without pretense, just like the Aswad. "Pathfinders always do, it's in our nature."

"I wish I could so easily take faith." Shizuru sought something, prayed for it.

"You can..." Midori said then, softly. "You merely have to have faith in yourself first, and others second."


	23. Nomad's Log: Remus

_**Nomad's log:  
Remus** _

_There are several kingdoms that were once joined together as one big populous. At one time, that place was know as the largest kingdom of all of the lands. The boundaries of this place spread far and wide, so far in fact, that it reached into the snowy hilltops and welcomed the western grasslands. It was so huge in fact, the the place wasn't known as a kingdom, but a land all of it's own. People would travel there in hopes of a bright dream for their future. It was said, at least, in the history books, that this place was well fortified and protected. See, this foretold place existed back in a time when being well educated was hard to come by._

_That, and, there were many conflict back then, that would trouble small kingdoms_

_No one dared to face the large city. The people were smart, the land was strong, and safety could be found within that. Needless to say, many found solace there. For the time that it held such merit, it was indeed, a wonderful place to live. Even now, you can see the truth etched in the lands, and, the take a pride in it, and their history.  
_

_What happened to destroy such a paradise?_

_That is a question many ask, but, there aren't any clear answers. I can, however, say but one thing. It is thanks to the divide of people, that the territories of Black Valley, Artai, Romulus, Remus, Aries, and finally Windbloom came into power. Those six large territories for the longest time were run by like minded people...with like minded interests.  
_

_Remus, and part of the boarder to Romulus, was at one point the central hub of the old, great city. Needless to say, when the split ups happened, it wasn't exactly smooth. Some treaties were made, of course. However, for the most part, it wasn't civil...at all...not even remotely. Best friends became enemies, and allies became spies. Warfare was revolutionized at that time._

_Back then however, bloodshed was kept primitive. There were no guns, no true strategist, nor tacticians in which to rely on. War was a simple concept. All people really had, was honor and blades. Even archery, at the time, was a weak substitute for going into the fray. Generals leading vast armies...it was all very standard, and expected, really. If only it could have stayed that way. Such a way to battle, would have been enough, at least, in my eyes.  
_

_Ultimately, the divisions, and separations, are what lead us to the boarder conflicts of today._

_All of it can be traced back to that time, when friendship was hard to come by, and rivalry was at its finest. You could say, those events are what gave some places more power, and weakened others. Back then, the north, that calls itself Artai in today's world, for example, had a large population. Ironically, even today, it has a large militia because of that...it was no surprise that as time went on, Artai only grew stronger...anyway, that is only one example. The point is, histrionically, Romulus and Remus are a focal point, for much of what happened._

_A lot of that history isn't truly important. However, the relationship between Romulus and Remus is...in fact, you could call it vital.  
_

_The truth is, they're actually relative kingdoms. The rulers share the same bloodline. The leader of Romulus is a man. Ironically, he is the uncle of Mahya, on her father's side. The leader of Remus, is Mahya's eldest niece, on her mother's side. That is to say, Mahya is a direct relations to both kingdoms, though, she wasn't born, or raised in the desert._

_She was raised in a different place completely, but, the desert is the land of ancestors...and she takes pride in it._

_In fact, her lineage can be traced all the way back to the original city. The man it traces back to, was a member of the highest council. The woman, if the records state correctly, was actually the daughter of an electoral figurehead at the time. In any case, the facts are clear. Mahya's family has always had a hand in leading both Kingdoms. However, it should be noted, that is why her parents are exiles._

_Romulus and Remus do not tolerate each other, or the customs that are different. Her parents met during treaty signings in another kingdom, and they fell in love. Renouncing their name formally, they left their homes behind. They, just like their daughter, live a nomadic life to the south of here, in fact, often times they visit Aswad seeking refuge among friends. Mahya has always lived to understand the way the world works, and to know that helping others is a key to survival...I prattle on indeed, don't I?  
_

_However, one must ask of why I would take note of those truths, in a log such as this? Well, traveler, it's quite simple._

_Men rule Romulus with an iron grip, and view women as a weak, yet precious thing to protect...it may possessive, but, it is done out of love, at least, most of the time. They are a people who don't trust easily, but care deeply when it counts. Those values are seeded in a rich, vibrant feeling, that can only be found among them in vast waves._

_That however, is not so, in the great kingdom of Remus. Quite the opposite, in fact._

_Women are seen as the ones that are in charge of the finer advisory jobs. It's quite complicated, in fact, I would say it boarders on a wrathful line. The women in Remus are spiteful, you see. Years of anger have made them into a population that loathe men, and see them as tools, with little else to recommend of them. In fury towards the gender that viewed them as weak, they've replied with venom and scorn._

_You see, that is why the two kingdoms split apart. Romulus would never agree to give a woman any sort of power...those of Remus, at one time, simply wanted recognition...now, it has changed. Women of Remus have the power, but, most of the men suffer for it...it get's a bit brutal, sometimes.  
_

_Men work, but, only in poor positions. They're seen nearly as slaves, and they're not given any rights. From a young age, they're torn from their mothers, beaten and abused. They're shown no sign of love, hardly any remorse, and the conditioning turns them into fearful men who've no choice. They must bow before the unjust acts placed before them. Many are malnourished, and as they age, they await death, to be sold, or occasionally arranged to be married, if a woman finds a man she quite likes. I find the truth a bit bothersome._

_It comes as no surprise, that most men live a dismal life in Remus. I can not imagine feeling that type of scorn...however, Remus is flooded with it...there is however, perhaps a saving grace for some of the men...however, it is a sword of truth I hate to divulge. It is quite difficult to acknowledge.  
_

_There is a treaty between both Romulus and Remus._

_It is an act of both self preservation, and a way to keep bloodshed minimal. In a previous record, I've made statement about the women who do not wish to marry. How lonely it must be, how I would not recommend it. Have you ever wondered, traveler, what happens to these women? Well, only is it appropriate to make the rather convoluted statement as gently as possible._

_They're traded._  
Sent away to Remus, exiled, if they truly choose not to be with a man.  
A woman will eventually not have a choice in the matter...if she will not marry, she must leave...

_She will be sent to Remus, regardless of her wishes. In return, Remus will hand over one of their young boys to be raised, and loved, in a country driven by men. Surely, anyone can see why hate would be fueled like fire between the two kingdoms. Why the animosity runs so deep. I can not help but think, that is the reason why Mahya is loved by both kingdoms, so very much. She is the embodiment of a time so long ago...with an inspiration for the future._

_Mahya doesn't say it out loud...but she dearly wishes for a unification of her people._

_She is the embodiment of power, and a womanly surrender. It is no wonder why she would be so dearly loved. I truly hope that her efforts will not be in vain, and one day, she will have done the one thing her parents could never do. If she could ever quell the fighting, and soothe the pains of the past, I am sure that the history books would change once again..._

_It may sound silly, but even I pray for that old city to be reborn...though, in truth, for it to truly be the way it was before, all of the kingdoms, and their leaders, would have to join in union once again. I doubt it would happen...but if it did, how interesting it would be._


	24. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Everyone was preparing in the early morning to get ready for what would be several weeks without a stop at any city, territory, brothel, or any other civilized land of the sort. During that time, Shizuru found herself idle, and without much to do. She'd gone to a few of the shop keepers, picking up supplies she was told to gather, but other than that, there was little she could do to be helpful.

They had not the time to teach her how to inspect the wagon, and Nao was already staying behind to make sure the animals were fit for departure. Shizuru wasn't to be of more use, so after she had cleaned the inside of the wagon, tossing away any spoiled food or other perishable supplies, she found herself enamored with Nao's care of the horses.

"Have Natsuki and Midori gone to smithy yet?" Nao asked, knowing they hadn't taken Shizuru along for a very important reason.

Trying to make herself useful she went over to where Nao was watering the animals, tending to their coats with a brush, trying to take away the sands. "They left only a few moments ago. It's funny, I know my way around such a shop, and yet, they would not let me go with them. Natsuki insists that if I were to go along, that Midori may try to put further 'nonsensical ideas' into my head." Shizuru said in way of greeting. "So, I thought that I might come to see if you needed help, instead."

"I wouldn't say that I do." Nao replied. "However, if you want, take this, deal with the horses." She handed Shizuru the soft brush that she had been using and sighed. "I've been meaning to talk to you, anyway. It's as good a time as any."

"I sense displeasure." Shizuru could see it in Nao's eyes. "I didn't do anything wring, did I?" She couldn't recall it, if she. With uneasy, but gentle hands, she began to run the brush over the animals, watching them intently, fearing to look at Nao. At first she didn't get a reply, something that made the seconds trickle by agonizingly.

"You've done nothing." Nao finally said, as she pulled out a strip of leather, used to sharpen blades. At her side, Midori's throwing knives, and other small but sharp items awaited one final inspection. "However, perhaps that in and of itself is my concern." Yes...it was entirely the case. However, even if it were so, Natsuki was the one truly to blame, even if Nao was the original sinner. "Natsuki is, complicated, and you've found yourself dancing around her, as if it were some sort of horrific joke." Nao's eyes cut deeply into Shizuru's own, with the woman of red irises chanced a glance to the side. "I'm not laughing."

"You think that I am?" A fractured breath was the only thing Shizuru could offer. "You're mistaken."

"I think you've overestimated redeeming qualities, and underestimated a few lass than savory ones." Nao explained. "I told you once before, everything that I do, I do with capriciousness at every turn." That was Nao's truth, and she had not a lick of a problem being that way. "However, if you were to describe Natsuki, how would you intend to go about it?"

Shizuru paused. "Now that is an odd inquiry." The question was an interesting one. Shizuru had to admit, she'd never thought of such a thing before, Natsuki an indescribable person for her. "Natsuki is an interest. I find her confusing in the best of times, but, I do indeed enjoy a challenge."

"She isn't a puzzle, nor a riddle." Nao said then, seeing that for Shizuru, this was not an easy topic to discuss. "You'll never be able to discover a final piece. There simply isn't one." Though, Nao sometimes wished, something like that would be so easy. "At least, if there is, it is one Natsuki could never possess."

"You seem to imply that someone else does." Shizuru turned around to face Nao. "That person is you, I would guess?"

"Touchy, touchy, aren't we?" Nao muttered with a smirk. "You assume I'm the problem immediately, and suddenly, I'm public enemy number one." She laughed cynically at that. "It isn't me that you'll have problems with, but I assure you, Shizuru, that you've been blind to many truths. You've been in the dark." Nao's words as harsh as the trickle of venom in her voice. "Rightfully so, really."

"There is one truth I am not blinded from." Shizuru shot back coldly. "That you've done something with Natsuki." Shizuru could see it recently, swirling in emerald eyes, a cry out, and yet, not a word had been uttered to quell it. "There is so much guilt in her eyes, it looks as if she's drowning." Shizuru could tell the night before, the way Natsuki appeared, it wasn't some small little transgression.

"We are in territories where culture runs deep, and here they expect it to be such a way." Nao knew this was not exactly going to be easy, and sighed greatly. "For quite some time, whenever we passed through these boarders, even as friends we were active in such a way. Lovers do not dirty the sheets so often, to suddenly stop." Though, that was one problem of many. "They expect me to take of what is mine, and in their eyes, Natsuki is indeed that. Have you noticed how she's been avoiding you? Why do you think that is?"

"She's guilty, of that much, I am sure." Shizuru couldn't face Nao, her body seething with something she couldn't explain. It wasn't anger, and it couldn't be hate. It was a feeling that tangled deeply. "She wouldn't need any other reason." Whatever it was, it could be easily colored as painful.

"Shizuru, you know nothing, indeed!" Nao finally proclaimed. "Your eyes are virgin to anything outside of the Black Valley. You are blinded my your own thoughts, and deepest feelings. However, you've no one to answer, no one who could kill you on command, purely because he sees you as filth, gutter trash and little more!" With conviction nipping at her every breath, she felt as if she was the one being put int the middle of a stalemate. Nao hated that, and without question, she found that she would refuse to be so easily pushed away. "You turn your back on me...a stubborn little princess like you should know better."

"I'm far from by birthright, Nao." Shizuru said then, softly, and a bit more calmly. "I haven't been a princess by namesake in years."

"However, that is what you are, at your core." Nao couldn't understand why this girl refused to understand. "You are royalty, who's lost everything she could ever have. It has slipped between the cracks, and in that, Shizuru, you are kin to every single one of us. You have nothing, but within that, you have everything." Nao however shook her head, troubled by all that she knew, and even more that she hadn't any answer for. "Why do you keep your contract, Shizuru?" Nao asked then, softly, and with horrific sadness in her words. "She pays well, but not that well, Shizuru...why keep it?!"

"Are you trying to carry me back to easier times?" Shizuru couldn't help but feel her own weight upon her shoulders. "I thank you for that, but it isn't necessary."

"Why have you let her keep such a contract over your head?" Nao pressed again. "Why do you let her keep you at arms length? Why have you not just merely opened your mouth and demand to be noticed!"

"I am a woman of the night." Shizuru said then, it was really, all she knew how to be. "Besides that, you and I both know, that Natsuki is so very withdrawn. Even if I were to do such a thing, it wouldn't be of any good."

"You're impossible...completely inept in that!" Nao finally, with force, turned Shizuru to face her. "Understand this... _you_ will forever be a woman of the night, unless _you_ break your contract. Until then, you are merely an object to covet, because you have allowed yourself to be seen as such." Nao ranted onward, seething. "You've not built your place!" She dropped her hands from Shizuru's shoulders. "Put a foot up her ass! My lord in the heavens above, do something! Anything!" Nao couldn't believe it, the two were so stubborn. "This will destroy you both. That is something I can't stand to watch."

"Natsuki would have undone it." Still, Shizuru received her pay often, and she knew Natsuki had sent out a carrier to deliver more money to Black Valley. "If she wished for me to be free from it, she would have done it herself, wouldn't she?"

Nao shook her head the negative. "Natsuki is self destructive in nature." Nao said, as if that had been painfully obvious. "She does things without really thinking, when she feels strongly about something. This time, she didn't just make a mistake." No, Shizuru couldn't be called that. "This time, she's gotten herself in, just a little deeper perhaps, than she ever knowingly intended." Nao bit her lip, wondering why Shizuru couldn't see that, everyone else surely did. "You are as you say, a woman of the night, however, has Natsuki ever forcibly taken you?"

"Never." Shizuru said then. "She's had several opportunities to do so, however, she's never actually done so."

"Let me make this plain, Shizuru." Nao said firmly. "Natsuki and I must live up to our side of our bargain. We will leave evidence of such a thing, because word will spread quickly if we do not." Nao knew well, this wasn't exactly something Shizuru was informed about. "The north has eyes, and ears everywhere. If they've found out Natsuki's committed adultery, lashings will await her...by my hand."

"You jest!" Shizuru however, was not at all amused by the words. "A horrible way to do so, if you must at all."

"No...I don't." In fact, Nao wished it was just some bad nightmare. "Artai is ruthless, just as its ruler is. The people follow Nagi, because he has all of the power." Natsuki was petrified of it, and Nao was enraged by it. "We are to be husband and wife. She is mine, under order of Artai...I am hers. You are not apart of the equation, or rather you are not supposed to be apart of it." Nao wished, for not the first time, that Natsuki hadn't complicated matters by bringing Shizuru with them in the first place. "You should have stayed in the Aswad's domain." Though, Nao wondered about that. "You wouldn't be subjected to hear such difficult things, if that were the case."

"It far surpasses difficult...that's purely morbid!" Shizuru said then, aghast. "How could that happen, at all?" The real question sat in her eyes. How could _Nao_ do it?...lime green eyes could see the shock, and disgust aimed at her.

"Nagi is, as you say, a morbid whelp. That is a standard law in Artai." Nao shook her head. "He will not kill Natsuki, unless she commits a truly heinous crime. However, that said, we've been punished at his whims for several years." In fact, she wondered perhaps, what type of sick pleasure he took, when they were not around to be his toys. "Being locked away, chained up, nearly drowned...Nagi finds new ways to play sicken games all the time. However, forty lashings amongst the public...that is not uncommon, and in Artai, it is law." A law Nao intended to change as soon as she very well could. "Natsuki must keep her distance from you while in the public eye, and that included any place she may leave a trace that is not her own."

"Alright, I shall be weary." Shizuru said then, anger lacing her eyes. "If that is the case, then I must ready myself. I can not allow Nagi to think me weak, nor can I allow Natsuki to suffer alone."

"It would be best, if you stayed out of it." Nao replied carefully. "This could get to be a very bad situation."

"I can't do that." Shizuru said then, stubbornly. "It is as you say, Natsuki has tangled the web, and I have been weaved into it."

"You're impossible, and she's a moron." Nao muttered darkly. "You're both fit to be bound and gagged." Though, it was to be expected, Nao assumed. "Have it your way, however, don't say I didn't warn you."

…

Warnings...how they'd was over her. A truth she dared never to honestly see. The veil was a comfort that had been ripped away recently. She felt betrayed, and unbearably hurt...however, the feeling was unlike the weight she thought she might be crushed under. However, now she knew she must insist upon tutelage. She had plans, though, she hoped they were truly strong enough to carry her.

"You mean like this?" Shizuru breathed heavily, once again taking a swing at her target, who just so happened to be Midori.

With a quick countermeasure, Midori had unarmed Shizuru quickly, the long naginata falling a few feet away as the blade of Midori's weapon was raised high in the air. If she wanted to land the strike, Shizuru would have been finished instantly. "Hmm." Midori's voice was even, and not at all bothered by Shizuru lack of skill. She was still learning the basics after all. Starting form square one, well, it was going to be a long, and hard road ahead before this woman would reach any level of proficiency. "Go get your weapon and stand in a defensive position."

Shizuru did as she was told, knowing the stances by heart. She could easily memorize what she was supposed to do, but, applying them was giving her no small bit of trouble. "I'm messing up again, aren't I?" She could feel it, how her legs felt off balance, that her stance was unlike it had been before. She fixed her footing easily enough, but she found that it was not all of the issue. Something felt off, unstable, out of balance. She glanced down, but found nothing amiss, and finally she gave up. "What am I doing wrong?"

"Second guessing yourself, among many other things." Midori chided as she moved Shizuru's body back into position. "The naginata isn't made to be held like that." Softly she loosened Shizuru's soft fingers from their death-like grip. "A firm grasp is needed, but, your body must also stay as relaxed as possible. This particular weapon requires flexibility." As if to prove her point, she pulled away from Shizuru, pulling her own large blade, a long poleaxe from it's resting position. "Anything long, like these weapons, though they're shaped differently, share in that aspect." With ease, she flipped and twirled her weapon as if it were an extension of her very own reach. "I have to maintain a fluid motion at all times. Always, and that requires that I be at east with my weapon of choice."

"So I see." It lacked the grace and elegance, that Midori had shown her earlier with the naginata, but still, even so, there was a true passion laced within her every move. Midori's love for combat slipped out between every word. "You make it look so easy."

"It must be able to glide through the air effortlessly." As she put her own weapon back down, she returned to Shizuru's side. "Decide how you want to stand, and put one foot behind you...like I showed you before." Shizuru put herself into position, and Midori pushed the palm of her hand into Shizuru with enough force that the woman fell onto the ground. "You're hopeless."

"How am I to learn anything, when you keep surprising me like that?" She never knew when Midori was going to be a help, or a hindrance, and in that moment she had become the latter. She stood up shaking, bruises already all over her body from their training. This was not the first time she'd met the ground, or the brunt of Midori's attack. "I can hardly comprehend everything, you teach so fast."

"I have to do it that way." Midori replied, as she helped Shizuru get back into a fighting position. "In a real battle, you'll not have time to always fully prepare for the situation. Sometimes, you need to just be ready for anything. Be it from a friend, or from a foe." As she leaned over Shizuru's shoulder, she calmed herself a bit, and began speaking in a lower tone, again, guiding Shizuru's fingertips. "There will be times your friends may be in front of you, blacking your moves. Not to be a burden, but simply because they have no where else to go. They may be in a dire face off. You need to be able to ascertain weather or not you can assist them, in such a situation. Carelessness will get them hurt. Inaction may let them die. That is the plight of any true warrior...choices like that are made daily. Never forget that."

"Will training like this really, be helpful to Natsuki?" Shizuru wondered aloud when she was allowed to relax her stance, and take a momentary break. "She made it seem as if it was a problem last time. I wouldn't want to be a burden."

"It will be helpful for you." Midori replied, sipping from a wine flask, handing it over, so that Shizuru could do the same. "You're a beautiful woman, but, unless you want to flaunt around, you have no real use out here." Each wave in the sand, and pebble in the road had a reason for being there. "Natsuki's given you a great gift. You have to be the one to harness it." Shizuru wasn't apart of the harmony of the world. "It will be your freedom after all." She didn't know her reason for merely existing, a flaw that would need to be corrected, if Midori had her way about things.

"It would be lonely, without having Natsuki at my side." Shizuru frowned at that, looking at the light wine, it tasted sweet. "I understand why she took me away from the Black Valley." Her hands were proof enough that she'd been training, and she hoped she wouldn't anger Natsuki with her actions. "I can accept that she didn't do it out of love at first sight." Though it didn't ease her heart at all, knowing that. To her companion's credit, Midori just watched on from her resting place, regarding the early hints of the sun setting in the sky. "Don't you have anyone waiting for you, anyone special?"

"My kin are all important to me, because they're mine to look after." Though with a chuckle Midori shook her head. "I don't have anyone I'm romantic with, if that's what your asking...really, I don't have the time." How could she, with so much to keep track of already? "Besides, all of that stuff doesn't suit me anyway. I like being able to go where I want, when I want. It gets lonely sometimes, but, I've got other things to worry about. Right now I have the freedom to search for answers the way I like. I can't do that once I settle down." Though when she looked Shizuru in the eye, she sighed at her. "I'm more worried about you."

"I admit that this isn't easy on me, but, I didn't expect things to be." Though in truth, she was beginning to see a thriving world. It was so far beyond the things she'd thought she'd find. "I honestly don't know why I came. I felt compelled by Natsuki's words, but, deep down, I know she never promised me anything more than simply payment." Though, Shizuru was beginning to learn, that was not the only thing she had at her disposal. "I've gotten to see so many things, I feel like I've been naive. I want to learn more." Children didn't play as loudly here, but even still, Shizuru could see the joy, could hear the giggles of a life that was so unlike her own.

"But...why do you want to learn more?" Midori asked with a serene smile. "The question, and answer, is something only you can find. Only you can grasp onto that, wholeheartedly. When you do, you'll see new paths open up right before your eyes. It's the struggle, it's the fighting to become something great, to see beyond what's here right now." The mere thought always warmed Midori's heart. "Our lives may be filled with misfortune, but, I feel as if that's what makes it great."

"The Aswad really are dreamers." Though, it was a jibe in it's own way, Shizuru's voice told more. "I just hope we don't stumble into a nightmare."

"If we do, we'll just have to conquer it." That was really the only option, Midori knew that. "When we reach our individual goals, others will greet us with pride, but, that's merely formality. The truth is tha-"

"We will have done the impossible." To say Natsuki startled them was an understatement. Her words hinted at her annoyance, as she tossed a sword in Midori's general direction, a brand new one, finely crafted. "For me, that means cheating death." She didn't look pleased. "I told you not to train her in fighting, and yet, look at what I find!" Natsuki's stern tone carried over them like a shadow. Still, she could do nothing but feel angry at Midori. Fury would not answer her questions, but it was all she could offer. "Why would you even think it was a good idea in the first place, Midori?"

"I want to become stronger." Shizuru said quickly, stepping in front of the two glaring woman. She held her arms out wide, as a way to stop the two of them, though she knew both could overpower her in an instant, if they truly wished to go for blows. "I can not do that the way I am now." Her eyes were pleading, and Natsuki sighed, letting her arm fall from it's perch on her hip, and subsequently, her gun.

"Of all the things you want to learn, this is the worst possible idea." Natsuki intoned, her eyes still on Midori, and not Shizuru. "It takes years to become proficient with blades. Guns really aren't any better, I would argue that they're more complicated, and better suited for hunting at best." Still, as she ran her fingers through her hair, she could see Shizuru's refusal to back down. "Give me one good reason to allow this. If you can do that, I'll permit Midori to train you."

Shizuru let that sink in, but in truth, she hadn't built up one of her own yet. However, perhaps that in and of itself was enough. She sighed as she closed her eyes, pulling forth memories better locked away. "I've been used my entire life. Even by you, I'm nothing more than a tool, because I allow myself to be that way." It was painful to admit, but, it was the dire truth. "I've complied with every wish within my power. I've attempted to do my utmost to fulfill them." However, Midori was right, that was not the way to ensure happiness. "However, I've gained nothing by doing that."

"And you believe violence is the answer?" Natsuki felt as if this was some cosmic attack, but one look at Shizuru told her otherwise. The pain she felt subsided immediately, into a questioning stare. "You really believe that learning anything from Midori can truly help you?" Confused, her voice became gentle again. "You feel so strongly?"

"It has helped you, has it not?" Shizuru found herself facing the one person she never dared to hurt, but, within that, she found something else. Something she couldn't define. Was it pride...or possibly pain? She was unsure just what danced in emerald eyes. "Natsuki, from this moment onward, I wish to be released from our agreement, and thus of my employ to you. I want to travel with you, of my own accord, but, I do not wish to be anymore than a comrade...I want to nullify our agreement..and thus, any implication or rights that it might give you."

Natsuki swallowed back a string of unkind words. "I see." Inhaling a deep breath, she licked her lips, and contemplated the very idea that Shizuru would want this. "What of your friends, their expenses?" Natsuki knew the kind of care the boy needed, it wasn't exactly cheep. "The boy needs medicine, and as you once boldly declared, the young woman is not yet old enough to offer herself in the brothel. How will you afford to take care of them?"

Shizuru had considered that. At great length, for not the first time, she agonized over the very thought of abandoning her friends. "This world is filled with places that are much healthier than the Black Valley. I know we can not save everyone, but I know you understand the severity of the problem. Takumi's heart is weak, and there is no cure for that." No, a distillate could not work in such a way, even if it could exist. "However, I can not help but think, that with as vast as this world is, there is a place for him, and for Mai."

Natsuki listened quietly to the words, and watched on intently, as Shizuru fought with the words she dearly wished to say. Searching, for the right way to say them. Seeking an answer that could only come from her lips upon pure force, and not that of simplicity. "Their father will eventually perish, we can not save that man, he's already so far gone. However, Mai is of fairly good heath, and Takumi is young." If there were to ever be any other reason in her life, the siblings she watched over would have to be it. After all, their very plight that inspired Shizuru. "I will travel and become strong...for their sake...and for my own."

"A bold declaration." Midori said from behind her. "But, why that, of all things?"

"To prove that I can." Shizuru retorted quickly. "To prove to myself, that I'm not just a woman of the night. That I am worthy of some other fate, whatever that fate may be." She turned to face Midori her eyes shining in defiance. "It is my reason to have, mine to hold onto desperately. So long as it is mine, isn't that good enough?"

Finally, seeing something akin to the confidence Midori had been looking for, she nodded. "It is." This was the defiance she wanted...the courageous look of a woman wishing to stand on her own, and not at the whim of another. "So long as you protect it, such a thing will always be enough." Midori looked over at Natsuki, her eyes gazing at the younger women with concern, but also with sternness. "So, Natsuki...your little toy wishes to be freed from you...what will you do?"

Natsuki didn't like it, knowing she couldn't deal with any more of Shizuru's willful actions if she continued down such a path. "If that's what you want, Shizuru. I've not a problem with it." Still, the lingering reality made Natsuki flinch with pain inwardly. "However, no amount of training can make up from strong comrades. Remember that, always." Natsuki's words were not given with the strength her body seemed to carry, but instead, with the worry that lingered behind her eyes. "I need to go do some more shopping." Without anything else she could do, she brushed it off, a mask of indifference not nearly as strong as she hoped it would be.


	25. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

The nights in Romulus were like the rest of the desert. Cold, and often lifeless. It was void of the things Shizuru had grown to love, and she found herself filled with longing she couldn't quell. She wanted to, dearly, but all she could do was feel a sense of emptiness. As if there was warmth in the leather bound book she'd received, she clutched onto it. As if, Natsuki would feel her screaming heart, if she held into it so tightly.

This, I fear, is one of those times so often spoken of in brothels. Men would drown themselves in the drink, and they would pine into the bosom of a woman they sought for a night of reprieve. Shizuru's jotted down her thoughts late into the night. She couldn't sleep, and had little else better to do. I was often that woman. Not all men were rough with me, not all had their way. However, those men dearly loved another, and I sadly, was merely a vessel to carry out their inebriated fantasies, their dearest hopes...and faded dreams. Shizuru sighed at that, wondering for not the first time, about Natsuki's plight.

When Natsuki had first stepped into my nightly domain, she had a dour expression on her face. At first, with a stagger, one of complete defeat, she sat at the bar...like most of the other men I've that described tend to do. A soft smile on Shizuru's face brought back her memory. I thought her to be a man indeed. Natsuki was quite a looker, even in her sadness. I remember watching her as men appraised the bodies of me, and the other women hoping for payment. Now normally, a woman would try their damnedest to entice them. Shizuru recalled, however, that she had easily lost her focus. However, I could only look at this person with midnight tresses, and stunning eyes, those of emerald. Shizuru knew in fact, that even now, she could easily get lost within Natsuki's gaze.

With a sad smile, she looked outside at the sky. The stars weren't as bright here. The sky was not as dark, nor as vast, as one would hope. I saw pain there...and eventually, that person had consumed enough liquid courage to approach me. Natsuki was not unlike most who come seeking comfort within passion. Most of them have a routine. They'll grasp at you, inspect that you're to their liking..and then, they may kiss you, just to see if you are talented with your tongue. How many times has she more that adequately proven that fact, when a good looking man seemed skeptical? Sometimes, it's not uncommon for a man to feel your womanhood, stroking at it, being sure it is to their liking...there are many reasons for that, and not all of it is inappropriate.

In fact, in most cases, it is an utmost necessity...I often fear bedding the odd man who doesn't. Shizuru bit her lip, looking down at her writing, unsure if she could continue, but, with a lack of better to do, she breathed a sigh. Sexual acts are not without danger, and the men who dip their fingers into a woman are not first timers...it means that they know not all women are clean and free from transmissions...they wish not to become tainted themselves...and Natsuki was the same with her inspection. That made a small little blush creep onto her cheeks. Normally, I try to make a person long for me...there are tricks for that trade...bucking into their touch...letting forth a small moan, faked though it normally is...even coaxing them to arousal. Oral pursuit is not uncommon, and women use it often to gain favor. Shizuru however, found herself unable, with Natsuki. It might come as a shock for some, but even I have used such a tactic. Such an act right in the middle of the stage is not uncommon, but, it is indeed a humiliation.

However, when Natsuki appraised me, I could only look away, slightly ashamed...I felt different under her gaze, though, I didn't have any idea why...I wish I knew, actually. Shizuru closed the book, and then her eyes. It was a memory that was faded, and yet, so clear, that it refused to leave her heart. That fateful night was what had brought her into the pangs of today, after all...she would hold it near to her heart, fondly...always...

"You will not take me away?" Shizuru asked surprised. The beautiful man had nearly thrown the sack of coins in the direction of the headmistress. "You've paid no small fee." In fact, Shizuru knew that payment was well above and beyond any normal fee. The man had not even asked the price, and merely offered the sum of money without question. "I'm only worth a handful of silver at best."

"Don't be foolish." Emerald eyes had said then. "You're worth far more than that, I assure you."

"Not merely for dancing, I'm not." Shizuru began, though with the sway in her hips, she danced near this person, igniting a fire knowingly. She felt a distinct feeling press into her. Manhood, well endowed and rigid, being confined in leathers that would offer no solace. She turned to the man, a smug little smile on her lips. "You've paid your dues, so allow me to be of service." Her hands dropped to the man's hips, and pulled him closer, before she brought one to tease him mercilessly. "You more than desire it." She told him truly, there was no need for pretense. "You ache for it, and there is no shame in asking me to attend you...that is the nature of my employ after all."

"You should not be forced." The man's soft voice told her. "I merely wished company, nothing more, honestly." Emerald eyes hid away from those of burning crimson, and a sigh so wonderful, escaped those pale lips. "I would have gone for a more brazen woman, if I truly wanted you to offer yourself to me."

"And yet, you chose me." Shizuru said then, cupping the face she so dearly wished to see without those reservations. "You're not from around here traveler...else you would know I am the most brazen woman you'd ever meet." She was well known for that, and her skill was not at all outdone by her beauty. Shizuru knew that well, and often, played that to her advantage. "Why do you hesitate, when I can tell you so dearly want it? That you want me?"

"This is not the first bordello that I've visited on my travels." He was stern in his words, but careful. "It shall not be the last." With a breath, and a flick of his long, midnight hair, he seemed troubled. "You need not worry about my carnal wishes." It was indeed a vexation beyond comprehension.

"I've seen your type before." Shizuru told the man as she leaned in her breath mingling with his. "Hurting, lost...and without any possible answer to be found within this world. I see it within your eyes." She hoped she wasn't coming on strongly, feeling as if this man might flee if she did...and yet, she felt confused by him, for that very reason. He was no small boy who had accidentally wandered a vixen's den, after all. "So many share your plight, so many in fact, that I have become the one to heal them." He knew well of a woman, and of what this place implied. "I can take away your pain too, if you'll allow me the chance."

"It is not so easily dismissed." The man had said, licking his lips. "You know nothing of what you ask of me...foolish really...coming here like this. It won't change anything."

"Even if it never does, what's wrong with asking for shelter?" Shizuru found those emerald eyes upon her form again, wide with awe...those pale lips agape. "What is the harm, in allowing mortal weakness? We all have our vices, you know." Then, she took that hand that had appraised her before, and slipped it under her gown, as she kissed him on the lips, drawing forth his most desperate pangs. "You may take me, because I wish it."

Shizuru's eyes flew open, and she bolted out of bed, breathless, and not just a little aroused. She fumbled around, grasping her book with a sigh, clutching it to her chest before opening it with shaky fingers. Desire flows through me tonight as I recall those days. I think, Nao may be right...there is no puzzle piece...no clue, and maybe not even an answer...but still even so, is that really such a bad thing? I've no conclusion...and I fear, one might never come. If that is indeed the case, why stay tangled in a web? Why wait for the spider who built it, to gift answers that may never come?

Every time she closed her eyes, she knew why. Love...it is a very, very complicated thing...yet, here I am, swimming in the waters. I truly am foolish, but even so...I care not. With a muted thud, she closed her book, and placed it away, under her pillow. She pulled the blanket over her head, and sighed, hiding her face into her pillow. It was a few moments later, just when sleep was about to claim her, that a leather clad hand ran her fingers though her hair...and that was the final lull she needed. "Natsuki..." It was nearly a sob.

"May she reach you in your dreams..." Midori sighed sadly, looking at the sleeping woman, knowing she wouldn't be heard. She sat at the side, unmoving. Fearing what might just happen if she pulled her hand away. Instead, she pushed up the remaining pillows into the headrest, so that she could lean back on it. "I know, you'll reach her, when she finds hers." With a smile, and a shake of her head, she closed her eyes. Though, like most night whenever she was stuck inside of a city, sleep was difficult to attain, and instead, she stayed awake, watching the girl, who clung onto her leather clad hand, as if it were her very breath.

…

A new light brought with it a new day, and a renewed set of chores.

"No, no...it just won't do. This is not made for a warrior." Midori shook her head, as she sent away the clerk yet again. "The woman I wish to see this made for, is a woman of nobility. Her leathers she be fitting of her title." She ranted in transportation. "This is nothing compared to what I need."

"How about is?" The shop keeper asked, bringing out a silken shirt that may have been more to Midori's liking. There was a pair of black leggings to go along with it. "Surely this will do."

"Do you not understand!" She had taken careful measurement of Shizuru before, but, the woman had not known why. "I need something better than this!" While Nao went shopping for gear that was more complicated to find in nature, Midori was harassing the tailor. "I need something that makes a statement, one of proper authority." Then she shook her head, the things this man had to offer was not what she was looking for. "No mere swashbuckler's shirt will do!" She roared, flinging it away. He was getting on her nerves.

"What kind of warrior is she, miss?" The man asked then, as he bowed his head. He only had this slip of paper to go by, and that was sometimes not nearly enough. "I admit, we do not have many things made for a woman. I have only cloth fit for men."

"Then you shall craft something at great speeds." Midori snarled, crossing her arms in firm order. "She is a novice, who will one day stake her claim, as a skilled noble woman should." Midori said then. "Her blade is a naginata, and once she has completed her training, it would be befitting that she is able to make her statements appropriately."

The tailor nodded, but then, a thought came to his mind. "A woman of nobility, with a blade of such stature." He put his fingers to his chin, stroking his short beard. "If I may, nomad, I find you are mistaken. A woman of nobility, needs to exuded her claim. Poise and elegance comes before any mere blade." He knew that nomads were of lackluster people. "Barbarian armor, such as leathers and ringmail would not suit such a woman. Plate is also unorthodox of such a woman."

"Never mind that! Her weaponry is also a reason to consider leathers." Midori barked, as if that were obvious. "Plate would only get in her way."

"Please, halt." He shook his head. "Nomad, I beg you to listen. You are asking of a piece worthy of a woman in nobility, worthy to make such an honorable statement, but I fear, I have not much to speak of." He snapped his fingers, and scurried away. Going into a secluded place within his store, he was gone a few moments, coming out with a crafted box. Carvings of flowers, and etched with gold, the box itself was the piece of beauty. "This, may be more to your liking, however, if it not, I fear I have little else to offer."

Midori opened the box, not sure what she might find, but inside, she was gifted a most wonderful sight. "A chained corset..." A torso piece, something to offer at least a little in the way of protection, very odd indeed, but a joy to gaze upon. That was not, however, the thing that interested her most. "This indeed a spectacle, such a robe as this."

"It is not merely a robe, nomad." He said, shaking his head. He pulled away the top cloth, which was indeed a silken robe, underneath was a full set of silks made for a woman to wear.

"Uncanny, I do not deny." However, seeing this, reminded Midori of the nature of the woman she had intended this for. "A new question, then. Do you have leather strips I might be able to purchase from you? Merely that and nothing more."

"I suppose I do, in the back." However, he was unsure if he wished to part with his materials. "I do hope you wish to pay a proper sum, if that is ultimately what you wish to buy."

"We can work out an arrangement, of that, I am assured." Midori nodded as she waved him off. "Take me to see your supplies."

He nodded, unsure of why a woman would be so interested in such a thing, although, perhaps that was why she was unhappy. "I must warn you, this is not proper." No woman native to these lands would want armor such as what he had. "Most women do not wish to stand in a place that they do not belong." He was the prime candidate to see. He knew this, because everyone in the militia visited him. However, within that, there was only one woman he would fit at a moment's notice, and that woman was Mahya. If she had a need for his skill, he gave it willing and without question, but she was the only one. "This girl, if she is so unfit to dress as you have, then I fear she is indeed a voluptuous woman. She should rather find a home in which to stay, not face a battlefront."

Midori merely cackled at such a response. "You, my good man, forget exactly of whom you speak." Yes, Midori was of barbarian people, of that she was surely proud. "The woman I speak of, is kin, in that she is a ruler to her lands. However, unlike me, sir, she is not nomadic." She smirked, as if to catch her point and dangle it in front of him. "She is unlike my people, and thus, she is unfit to don the cloth my people willingly call a second skin." As she looked through his supplies carefully, she put thought into that. "However, she wishes to make a declaration. One that only a woman of my people, could ever dare to make." Yes, a fighting shout, a powerful statement roared in thunderous cries. "There is no other type of woman, after all, who would dare to stake a claim on her own kind."

"You nomads are disgusting people...you wish the scorn of others!" The man blanched. "Men are to bed women, not women with women, nor men with other men!" He blustered, quite bothered by such a declaration.

"Well, that is why she is to become a sister in arms." Midori smirked. "It takes such bold declarations for a true warrior and their blood to stain battlegrounds." Midori fully believed in that. "Don't you agree?" Anyone unwilling, should never step foot out into such a place, if they were honestly such cowards.

"Only if that man is of honor." He retorted back. "Nomads often aren't."

"Bite your tongue, or I'll slice it off myself." With silence, he viewed the woman who began to look at him with a malicious eye. "Tell me, do you feel as if your very manhood is what makes you greater?" She pulled out her sword. "Shall I remove that instead? Would that somehow make you a lesser being?" He didn't respond, careful not to anger the woman further, as he took a sharp breath, her sword glinting dangerously. "Well what shall it be? Humor my questionable qualities, and that of my kin...or anger the leader of Aswad, facing her in a true battle to the death?"

"I am merely a tailor." That was a fight he would not win, and lowered his head, a sneer on his face. "Take what you wish, and leave, Nomad. You're presence sullies this land. Truly, you are a beast."

At his words, she pounced, stabbing her swords into the wall, mere inches away from his body, though, she pressed into him dangerously, her hands on his throat. She would only take so much of any slander, and she honestly thought to kill this man right here, however, she wanted to have good relations with surrounding kingdoms. Bloodshed would not gift that, even if this man was a loathsome creature. "Perhaps I am." She nodded to him, glad he saw things her way. "However, at least I am merciful." It was a barb she knew she shouldn't have begun to say, but she wanted this man to feel her own agony.

She gripped his throat tightly, wondering if she should indeed crush it. "There are others who have already treated your people as lambs to a slaughter. It would be easy for Aswad to do the same." In fact, Midori knew her people could overtake the desert as their own, entirely and without question, if they honestly wished it. "Never forget, just who it is that I am." She spat at him. "Never forget the roar of my people!"

With that, she let go of him as he gasped for air, and pulled the sword from the wall, sheathing it. "Now then, about the price of the strips. I'll offer one silver per strip, if they're of good quality. However I shall not offer more." It was a fair price, surely, but even if it hadn't been of any value, the man knew he wasn't in the position to refuse, and merely nodded his head. "I'm glad we can make trade." She smiled, though, there was no question in her stance, she was still unhappy with him.


	26. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

After Midori had made her purchases, and returned to the wagon to put them away, it was time to release the bird into the skies. They knew it would take at least a short time for to the bird to travel to Remus and back again, but that's why they couldn't wait any longer.

Atop the highest point within the major city of Romulus, the tower of the observatory, Natsuki stood looking out at the desert sands. The animal on her shoulder perched there waiting. While this bird was well trained, these conditions were not perfect. Still, with a tiny roll of paper bound to the creature's leg, she watched as the little animal faded into the distance. She still found difficulty in finding comfort, the events of earlier rattled her to no end, and the truth of what she thought about the matter would gift her no aid. With anger, she could not bring herself to let go of the railing. Her heart felt as barren as the sands, but, it always had. It felt as if it was empty. Devoid of anything on the worst of days, no solace for herself.

She knew she would never find it standing alone.

Perhaps that's why the Aswad gifted her so much comfort. "How does one remain so strong?" She never really knew, but Midori, for whatever reason, was a symbol of power. Even now, Midori saw something very different in those sands. "When everything you think you have turns against you, how do you possibly carry on?" Midori was facing the wind in something that Natsuki herself, couldn't say she had ever experienced. There was a pain in Midori's eyes, that wasn't clouded in darkness. It was fuel for her will, power for her dreams. "Maybe this is futile." Natsuki could only wish to attain something like that.

"So what if it is?" It was always that way, and with good reason, still it would addle the mind relentlessly. "That's our fate, to be drenched in the sorrows of our people. However, Natsuki keep in mind, you decided upon your path. You want to lead your people, and face a grand undertaking because of it. I stood up to the responsibility, but you...you have none yet. You can give it up." There were some days, Midori wished that would be so. "Those lands were meant for nomads, to be understood and loved by people who had no true settlement." If Natsuki gave it up, Midori could talk back the lands that once belonged to her ancestors. "You have to admit, you hate staying in one place."

"I loathe it." Natsuki felt tired, and her gut turned, sending a sickening wave over her, every now and then. "However, if I loved it, would I even be a true leader to those of the Black Valley?" Her hand fell over her belly, a feeling she could normally ignore, began to bother her. It tumbled, twisted, and turned. If she closed her eyes, she could smell the remains of Nagi's efforts. If the people were a plaything to him, or merely his newest conquest, she hadn't any idea. It lingered in her mind, and it burned her dreams in heated fury. "It is the place where many souls rest, and those souls are all nomads. In that, would I even be a rightful leader?" Natsuki questioned it sometimes.

It was Midori's home after all, it was the place her people had been driven away from.

"I'm afraid I can't ascertain that, Natsuki." Midori wanted to be able to, but, it was complicated. "On the one hand, I think, after being properly groomed for the role, you would make perhaps a better leader, than I have ever been." Though, that would only be considered fact, if Natsuki gained a wealth of worldly experience. Pain a lesson, and not burden. "However, there are times you are a very dark person, and that depth causes great sadness. A leader such as that, would gift her people little more than suffering. You can't become that way, if you wish to take your land and return it to prosperity."

"All this time, I thought I had a goal worth searching for." Was is really enough? "I wanted that, but recently, I've really stared to wonder." Shizuru's words had struck her over and over. Meaningful phrases, half heartened questions, and not nearly enough confessions, were taking their toll. "I've started to wonder, if that's just my own inability to really see the truth. What if I'm merely chasing shadows? What if I should just do as I've been told, and just accept my fate for what it is?" Though, that in and of itself, insinuated the worst of all outcomes. "My own fear of death, of not being able to have control over my life, doesn't all of that make me a coward?"

"Sometimes, cowardice is a virtue." Midori knew that lesson well. "While it is true you must be strong to survive properly, you must also have enough wit to understand when you've lost." In the morning sky, and the warming air around them, a haze seemed to paint the distance. It was, as Midori liked to assume, as blurry as life could always be. "Everyone is afraid of something, and, there are always things a person wishes they could reach. Sometimes the reasons are the wrong ones." She also walked such a path, and, clung to it, in hopes of a bright future. "All humans are prone to failure, to fear, and eventually, they will die. No matter what you do, Natsuki, nothing can change that."

"I know." Natsuki muttered then, an utterance something she found hard to accept. "Nao and I have an unforgivable, unchangeable, past that I will never be able to forget." The ties that bound her were deep, and she could not cut them easily. She didn't have the luxury. "Just like I decided I wanted to rule over Black Valley, I'd decided to be willful and feel something for someone else. I can't help it, however, that I feel caught right now. There is no real way out of this situation without the distillate." Natsuki sighed then. "I can't help but think, that my willfulness...it makes me a horrible person."

"That is idealistic, something no one has the luxury to be." In fact, Midori wanted to encourage this. "Shizuru must build her own fate. If she can not accept you as willfully, as we do, then, I have no choice but to blame her for her own transgressions. We are not responsible for her whims, only the safety of her life. Also, regardless of what she becomes to you now, before, she was only a woman of the night. She can not blame you for seeking her attentions, after all, it was you she chose to love." That was where it ended, at least, from an outsider's perspective. "By making that choice, she'll also have to suffer by embracing all of the pain, and weight of that choice." That truth, was the end all...the be all, of Shizuru's problem. "Fair weather friends can never be lovers, that's simply how it is."

"What of those who are unfaithful?" Natsuki muttered then. "How can anyone, who lacks the ability to give themselves fully to any one person...how do they stay deeply in love?"

"There are many ideals to that, nothing is completely correct. You have to find your answer, and disregard everything else." In Aswad, the people embraced that idea, without fear or remorse. "To damn away everything, in the name of what you decide love is, that is your burden. Those you choose to share it with, will either stay by your side, or, they'll walk away. That is their choice, just as it is your own." Midori shrugged then, knowing it wasn't exactly normal, but it was a way of life she'd been raised to accept and embrace. "If it were up to me, no one would question it. Everyone would welcome your choices, and embrace them fully without question." That, however, was Midori's truth...

She knew Natsuki had to find her own.

"I can be weak with Nao." Natsuki said then. "I can fall into that strong embrace, and everything is okay...she makes me feel that way." Yet, the fact was, that Nao felt little in the way of true passion. It cut, it hurt, and Natsuki couldn't quell the pain. "When I found out Erstin was pregnant, I felt like my world was just...gone...just like that. Out of my reach, like everything I knew just fell from underneath my feet." She'd tried many times, to make her thoughts and feelings go away. "No matter what I did, that truth wouldn't go away. Everything was a fact that I couldn't change."

She stepped foot down a path that she ought not to have walked, because of that. "I didn't know what else to do, so I was going to end it." It was one mistake after another, but she was careless enough not to worry. "The night I saw the city in Black Valley...so many people were sick, and one man died in the street, spitting black, and just not waking up...not even breathing." Tears leaked out from her eyes, but she didn't dare brush them away. "I was just going to drown myself away with the drink, and throw myself off the nearest cliff." She didn't have the tenacity to do it...to deny the basic emotion.

"You didn't." In that, Midori found the one answer that she thought she might not ever have. "You're still alive."

"I don't even know what I saw in her." Natsuki replied as she turned to face Midori. "I just...it just happened. One thing led to another...it should have ended in the city...I should have just left her there, but when I figured out who she was..." Natsuki sighed, trying to clutch onto her thoughts, because they were scattering away at great speed. "There was so much in her eyes that I couldn't even explain it...and I just felt okay...for the first time in a long time, I wasn't hurting anymore...I just wanted her to stand by my side, and I never meant for this to get so complicated." Not even anything Nao could possibly do, could hurt this much. "I never meant to fall in love with her, god damn it!"

"But you did, Natsuki." The new voice startled her, and when Natsuki turned around, already knowing who it was, she couldn't help but feel her heart clench tightly in her chest. "Why couldn't you just tell me?" Shizuru's voice shook, unsure, for the first time, just what to make of everything she saw.

"I didn't want it to hurt again." Natsuki replied though clenched teeth, trying to steady her emotions. "I thought if I just kept you away from everything, it would be better that way."

"Oh Natsuki, no..." Shizuru went to Natsuki's side then, unwilling to let Natsuki throw up some wall that didn't belong between them. She put a hand on Natsuki's cheek, willing the tension to flow out. "Now that I can see you, don't hide from me, please." Shizuru murmured. "Dear gods, don't hide." Shizuru couldn't deny feeling a glimmering light of hope. "You're too beautiful to hide like this." She unclasped the veil that kept her face hidden, as she brought her lips gently to tap against Natsuki's own, it was unlike the other intimacies they shared.

This one was utterly innocent, without insistence, and Natsuki's lips quivered in something so different. It lacked the command, and exuded something completely submissive, as if she just wanted to melt away, and never open her eyes again.

Nao stood at the stairs, shaking her head, as Midori came to join her. "What a moron." Nao sighed as she slipped back behind the brick wall, to continue to be unnoticed. "Stupid bitch, she really is like some stray dog without an owner." Even as she said it, her own vexation was slipping into her words. "Shizuru better put a collar on that pain in the ass, before she wanders off again...it always gets bad, when Natsuki does that."

"You're going to face penalties in Artai for this." Midori spoke grimly, though she had a smug smirk on her features because of it. "Now that Shizuru's contract with Natsuki is voided, she can pursue a relationship appropriately...with nothing holding them back." However, that wasn't exactly a saving grace. "I doubt Shizuru will let you and Natsuki put on airs anymore...at least, not now...thanks to your meddling. After all, now she knows exactly how Natsuki feels."

"Yeah, well...it won't be the first time we've mildly annoyed my cousin." Nao wasn't looking forward to that, but it would happen, if anyone in power found out. "I just hope Shizuru can deal with the fact that no one is going to approve of this."

"Mildly?" The retort was so dry, Midori could hardly believe it had come out of her own mouth. "I'd hate to see what he does when he's truly enraged." Midori just shook her head. "Come on, you've earned yourself a few bottles of wine."

Nao could only push herself away from the wall, still a little incredulous herself. "Make it ale."

...

Final preparations were almost done, though, they would need to wait before picking up the last of their needed items. Things like milk, and other important things that would spoil quickly. So, while they merely played the age old game of waiting around, Midori found herself setting to work on her project. With her, Natsuki sat, leaning on the wheel of the wagon, her horse at her side not that far away. "I don't see why you had to encourage this." Natsuki sighed then, watching as Nao began to work with Shizuru on defensive maneuvers. "I wanted for her to simply take joy in life...away from a place that otherwise, is so filled with grief."

"This world is always going to be filled with such a thing, Natsuki." Midori replied as she began to weave the thin strips together carefully. They were easily only a finger wide, some even thinner than that. "You will never find solace within it, if you try to save yourself from something that will clearly, always loom overhead." The plight, was not an easy thing. It was however, something that never really went away. "I will groom her properly, you'll see."

"Why on earth do you imagine that?" Natsuki wanted little of the sort. "I like when she's gentle, and soft. I find it soothing, that she takes comfort in the protection I can gift her." Though, Natsuki frowned, knowing even that was fleeting. "Shizuru was not made to be a killer."

"No, but she was made to be a woman." Midori said then.

"You aren't going to elaborate on that, are you?" Natsuki sighed, already knowing the answer.

"There is no point to do so." Midori shrugged as she nodded to Shizuru's direction. "If she has a willful desire, it is up to her to make it so."

"I hate it when you talk like some idiotic prophet." Natsuki muttered then as she stood up, grabbing with her one of the swords that she often hated using, but thought perhaps now, she would disrobe the restless energy. She stood with shoulders squared as she cleared her throat. "Shizuru." Natsuki caught their attention with her voice. "Stand aside." She nodded to Nao, who easily got the implication. "If you wish to learn how to fight, perhaps you should see a battle go on, one without reservations."

Natsuki tossed Nao a sword, so that they both had one that was identical. "First blood." The fiery redhead said as she pulled the sword from it's sheath, knowing the rules well. "Sounds like fun."

"With pleasure." Natsuki said as she rushed Nao, pulling the sword from her own sheath as she did so. A clash rang out as the both jumped away in reply. Natsuki ran forward and so did Nao, greeting each other again, both of them holding their own, trying to see who would yield first. Natsuki stepped to the side, withdrawing her sword in a circular motion, forcing Nao to pull back, least she lose her balance.

In a hasty retreat, Nao pulled the second sword from her side, albeit that it was much shorter than the longsword in her right hand.

Another cash rang out, and so too, did a battle cry from Nao, as she ran froward, slicing through the air. She jumped, lifting herself off of the ground, and onto Natsuki directly, but before any blow could be made, Natsuki averted the strike with a firm bash to Nao's side, using the hilt of her weapon."Damn..." Nao winced, holding her ribs in pain.

With a breath Natsuki forced herself to get up. "Duo swords, how assholian of you." Still Natsuki didn't seem at all phased by it, as with a chuckle, they began again. "Not good enough." Natsuki slashed through the air, forcing Nao to crouch down, so the sword would go over her head, only to respond with a swift kick to her Nao's upper jaw.

"It's perfectly fine." Nao spat with the same type of smirk, though blood dribbled from her mouth. She brushed it away, feeling the pain in her cheek increase, knowing it would bruise horrendously. She stood, and stretched, picking up the one sword she dropped. "That was round one."

"Care to go for another?" Natsuki asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I would rather if you didn't!" Shizuru finally called out, the entire thing had made her bothered. "That kind of training isn't at all safe. We have to leave here soon, we can risk you getting sick because you've over done it."

"You better get used to seeing it." Natsuki turned to Shizuru, a firm truth there. "If you wish to learn how to fight properly, you will end up doing, what we are right now. Without reservations." Though, as she said this, she handed Nao a cloth, to dry bleeding lips. "Even if we were to be badly hurt, or even kill one another, we must still be able to understand that in order to prepare for true battle, you've got to be willing to put the risk onto the table."

"Another round, then." Nao said, in hopes of getting her rematch. "I'm fit for at least one more."

"I think not." Midori finally said, to break up the warfare. "Nao, get back to working with Shizuru on defensive strategies." Then she stood, pulling her own blade from it's place of rest. "Natsuki and I shall go to the arena. It's clear she needs to work off some steam." Midori, in truth was aching for a bit of friendly, yet dangerous rivalry herself. "Come on Natsuki, I'll even let you use your guns." Midori promised with a dangerous smirk, one even gleaming happily in her eyes.

"Now, that's a challenge I'd be happy to take you up on." Natsuki nodded, eager to be able to practice with her favorite of all weapons, guns were her specialty. "Just let me go get my other holster."

When Natsuki walked away, Midori sighed, placing a hand on her hip. "She's just restless." Really, she was making sure she had a few throwing weapons at the ready. "I'll give her a good workout, run her ragged, so that she'll rest easy." Midori knew she could use the added effort herself. "If we aren't back by nightfall, don't worry. We can take care of ourselves." Then she walked over to Shizuru, whispering in her ear. "Have faith, and you'll become like the rest of us, one day."

There had never been a time when Shizuru watched Midori. At least, not to really to examine the way power, both raw and commanding, could seem so easy going and earnest, when it truly counted. Stunned by the way Midori could so casually instill confidence into a person, Shizuru could only remain motionless. "Has she always been so odd?" Such a contrast, and yet, it seemed fitting.

"I never took the time to think about it." Nao said, simple within her answer. "Now come on, get your naginata. We have a lot of things to go over, before you can truly apply it in a sparing match."


	27. 23

Chapter 23

"Will everything truly be okay like this?" Nao asked as they walked on, slowly taking in the sights around her, the stand underfoot leaving their tracks. She couldn't help but look off to the side, away from the footprints that seemed to be matched in pace, together, and so unlike her own. She had to admit, she'd always had s solitary stride. "Or are we going to become the lambs, this time around?"

"It doesn't rightly matter." Midori said then as she followed Nao's gaze. "As I told you before, the sands are foretold to soak up the transgressions in this world like a sponge." Each time they took a set, Nao seemed mildly amused by it, but, for Midori it was merely a footprint, and little more. "Inquiring minds won't find solace in every little detail." Though, she began to wonder about that herself. The sand truly was captivating, in its own right. "But, suppose that they did, what would you find?"

"Death...vengeance... anger..." Nao could name many things, but none of them were good. "I want Nagi dead, I want him to feel his own wrath reflected on him, and I want to be the one to do it." Still, Nao could only wonder about a feeling that tickled the back of her mind. "However, if I did that, would it make me strong, or would I fall down to his level? That's what I think about, when I think of Artai. I want to change a lot of things, but if I turn into him, I can't do that."

"Killing is an act, that's all it is...merely an action taken, and little more." With that, Midori put the pipe to her mouth, and drew from it, a lung full of smoke. "The way I see it, everything is an action. nothing is proactive, nothing is reactive...it's merely active. It's all about what you do, and nothing more than that." As she watched the smoke dissipate, she chuckled then. "Things become easy, when you think of it like that."

"What about them?" The way they walked together bugged Nao. "You can't say that there isn't a motivation behind everything we do, and that includes Shizuru. So, is she merely acting, without pretense?"

"That's for Shizuru to decide." Midori said smoothly, though she also wondered about that. "I can't say that I know for sure, just what it is that she's thinking...I only know that she is, and that her dreams might as well be placed on a bed of roses."

"Doesn't mean she's being smart." Nao's dry response was covered in her own retorts that were better left unsaid. "In fact, sometimes I'm afraid they're both being quite stupid."

"Being in love, sometimes means that you'll be unwise." Still, even at that, Midori took humor. "They both may be difficult in the worst of times, but, the peace between them in that best of times, makes all of that worth it." As she nodded her head approvingly at the early morning jaunt, that seemed to take Natsuki and Shizuru away from the wagon, and even the horses, she could only laugh. It was private enough for them to speak freely, but, there were times when soft laughter would reach the ears of comrades not all so far away. "Even you have to admit, in times like this, you'd never know of their suffering...or even of the plight any of us may share."

"Maybe." Nao shrugged, unwilling to admit that one way our the other. "The only thing I can think about right now, is the sand under my feel. Every step, one right after the other. Do my feet always feel this heavy, or have I just picked up a new burden along the way?" Nao shrugged, the question best left unanswered. "You can't blame me for being pensive, I'd rather not go to the north, I feel weighed down when I do. Then, I end up wondering if it'll feel the same way when I'm the one leading Artai."

"Who knows." Midori said then, ruffling Nao's short locks of fiery red hair. "The thing I think you should be worried about next, is what you're going to do, once we head north."

"I already know what I'm going to do for that." That much, it was easy. It wasn't a carefully made plan, or even a prayer to the gods. "I'm going to go see Erstin, and then, get into a few fights with Nagi." Nao frowned deeply at that. "I'm going to do the same things I always do in Artai...because, it's all I know how to do." Nao finally let loose a deep sigh. "If anything, I envy that in Natsuki. Her ability to always stay collected, even when she feels like ripping someone apart, or feels as if she's being torn apart from the inside." It was something Nao had always noticed. "She hides it so well, but recently..that mask has been slipping."

"I don't think Natsuki wanted to stay locked away forever." Midori had little she could offer, and her words seemed not nearly enough. "Just as you do not wish to stay under Nagi's thumb." At that, perhaps, this was a vexing reality, but, it was theirs to hold, and to protect. "You both want acceptance, and to be loved. There is nothing wrong with that feeling, but you both need to understand, it must come from other places. Just as Shizuru can not let her world revolve around Natsuki's whims and little more, you and Natsuki must get hurt by others, even just a little bit...you have to take the chances, or you'll never find redemption."

"Is that why she seems so much happier today?" Nao asked then, her voice a soft wane. "Because she's let her guard down?"

"No, that's still firmly in place." Midori replied, she could see it lingering in emerald eyes, even from a distance...or perhaps, it was because of the distance, that Midori could see it clearly. "I believe, in some ways, Shizuru's beginning to see beyond it, just like you can. Nao, neither of you need to let your guard down for the world, you merely have to be open enough to allow others in...you need to learn how to trust others...and Natsuki needs to stop trying to take on the world by herself all the time."

Momentary solitude, quiet, and truthful confessions eventually dissipated into the nothingness of endless sands. The the four travelers gathered together, mounted their horses, and finally took the day with the responsibility that it would demand. The ebb and flow between Natsuki and Nao fell over them like a cloak that was well made, and fit them like a glove.

Here in the outskirts, there was a true solidarity, just like before. It was as if the events in Romulus had never even occurred, that their sins had been forgotten about, washed away by the wine they drank, and stifled by the bread they ate.

Shizuru could not help but ponder that, and yet she could only conclude one thing. It was simply the way Nao and Natsuki were. With each new place they would visit, a small new truth would emerge. But here, away from people, and prying eyes, a different way of life came alive again. One, seemingly less ridden with angst, and more gifted with the gentleness that Shizuru so loved. Laughter was slowly coming back to their group. Comfort was beginning to mend small wounds entirely, and the ones that ran deeper, didn't hurt so bad. Even when Nao was shoved off of her horse, by Natsuki's hand, no less, it was something even Shizuru had longed for.

A serenity, one that even she hadn't realized had gone missing, until they were out of the city. Until it flooded over them. Sweeping them away. Carrying them blissfully. Cradling them softly. It was such a gratifying reprieve. It dripped over them, a flowing sauna of sorts. The current of fresh, heated air, the bright, hot sun...even the clear blue sky. It all mingled so easily, that Shizuru herself felt, as if they had a place among the barren lands.

It wasn't devoid of anything, but rather, it gave them everything they needed...quenching an emotional thirst.

In the early light of dawn, they stood in the spot they agreed to meet, in front of the statue that had been built in Mahya's image. It was placed directly between the two boarders, considered a territory of equal ground, where trade and treaties would occur at least once a year, if not more often. It was a landmark that dictated many things, but peace was the one thing it declared for all who could see it.

"The goddess's statue." Midori explained, as she let her fingers run over the finely carved stone. "They say that if you can see this, then her eyes are watching you, and so, you must act as if your kin were among you."

"Yeah, people can't fight, and must be considered equal, as long as her eyes fall over the land." Though, as Natsuki said it, she laughed. "Mahya can't ever seem to be bothered by it, but the people of both Romulus and Remus love her so much, that they both took the time to build it." In fact, there were often offerings of flowers and prayer here, as if Mahya were truly a being from the heavens. "As much as Romulus seems to treat women poorly, they sure do love Mahya."

"All of that hero worship is pointless." Nao finally said, going so far as to kick it. "It's all a bunch of bullocks...no one should believe in that tripe anyway."

"That's far from the truth." Midori said then, frowning at Nao's actions. "This is a symbol of hope." She turned to Shizuru then, as she leaned on the statue, standing not even tall enough to reach the top of the ornate stone carving that the actual figure had been built upon. "Mahya's bloodline comes from a time that can easily be traced back to old times. Her parents, however, were of the mindset that they renounced their names and their kingdoms."

She could see the story also carved in the stone, and even though she took the time to read it, she couldn't possibly begin to comprehend the depth of it. "Such a sad story." She brushed away some of the sand in the cervices of the lettering. "A child of both kingdoms, who belongs nowhere, and yet, is loved everywhere." She tried to see beyond the words, looking for more truth, but she couldn't find anything else. "It truly is tragic, in its own way."

"Well, it isn't magical, if that's what you mean." Natsuki said then as she began to water the horses with some supplies kept in a large barrel. "Mahya's popular, but, I wouldn't say she's well respected outside of the deserts. They hate her in the north, but, she never really was a friend to Artai. To the south, they don't mind her. They just see her as another passerby."

"Hmm." Midori nodded, sipping from some wine. "Even in Aswad, we treat her normally, though she does have some fans."

"Her reputation precedes her, no matter what we may say about it." Nao grumbled while she bit off a hunk of bread. "You could say, she is the truest embodiment of the desert land, in and of itself." Nao hated to admit it, but it was true. "Sometimes I think all of that clout goes to her head. That, or she's wrapped her silks around her body so damn tight, she's killed off every ounce of decency she had." She chortled at her own joke, even when her companions glared at her disapprovingly. "I'd like to think it's the latter."

"Don't listen to her, she's just in a bad mood, mostly because Mahya is so well respected." Midori said then, a bit more sternly than she would have liked. "That, and the two of them don't get along very well, so don't take it to heart. I surely know that Mahya doesn't."

"Mahya doesn't care for being praised." Natsuki said then, putting her hand over Shizuru's, and pulling it away from the stone. "I don't think she ever will. That's why Romulus likes her. They believe she's that way, because she respects her place as a woman." At the unspoken question, Natsuki shook her head. "But, Mahya just isn't that way either. She doesn't care about any of the laws. All she sees, are people who've torn themselves into two factions...and she pities them because of it."

"If it were me, I'd be kicking butt and throwing my weight around as the leader." Midori said then, biting into an apple. "I would force my hand, and show them what I'm made of." Then, she laughed at herself, a darkness within such a thing. "But, that's why they hate nomads. Women in power aside, they don't like the way men live their lives. They think we're all just brutes, really."

"I can't say that I blame them." Natsuki laughed, as she jumped up to sit on the stone corner. "I didn't know what to think about everything either, the first time I saw the inner walls of Aswad. I knew there were going to be nomads there, I just didn't expect everyone to be so...naked." Natsuki finally settled on her more simplistic feelings on the matter, though at the time, she was much more troubled by it. "In my opinion, Romulus should just feel lucky that you all don't parade around like that outside of your domain."

"Speaking of that, I wonder where everyone is." Nao finally asked the question of the hour. Their travel party had yet to arrive. "Think they got lost?"

"Do you want me to hurt you?" Midori asked, not at all jokingly. "Thinking my nomads couldn't perform a simple task, you're truly a lost cause if you think that."

"Shouldn't it be a cause for concern?" Shizuru asked, accepting Natsuki's hand, as the woman of raven tresses pulled her up onto the statue to take a seat as well.

"No, Midori's right." Natsuki shook her head. "These sands aren't hard to navigate on a day like today." Everything was clear, and bright. "Besides that, it's a direct line, I doubt anyone could get lost like that." Midori started snickering at that, and then, an amused smirk fell over Natsuki's features as well. "Well, perhaps maybe you could, Nao. However, you aren't a pathfinder."

"It only happened once!" Nao fired back with annoyance, and a bit embarrassed. "It isn't my fault that the compass was broken!"

"You were looking at it upside down." Natsuki said, as she scanned the area, looking for the other caravan. "Digressing that, everyone should be arriving any time now. Midori's wagon is bigger than ours, and they had more people. Surely it would take them longer to depart from one place, and arrive at another."

"Then they should have accounted for it." Nao grumbled, tired of waiting around.

"I'm sure they did." Natsuki growled back. "Even so, calculations aren't perfect."

"There they are." Midori said, pointing to where the figures were coming up from over a rather steep dune, the wagon blurring amongst the horizon. "They've been well, I see."

"Well, that's a sight for sore eyes." Nao gazed on, seeing what she knew was another verbal warfare between three young teens in the distance. "I can hear them shouting, music to my ears." Her eyes slipped closed, and she listened, waiting for the ruckus to ebb. After a few moments though, she learned quickly that's wouldn't happen any time soon. "Takes me back..."

"I fear to inquire what that might mean." Shizuru said softly, though there was a soft smile on her face at that.

"When we were little, we got into all sorts of trouble." Natsuki sighed, a memory long gone reflected in the eyes of youthful servants protecting their princess. "Nao used to torment everyone she came across, and the only servant I ever had, was my wet nurse." Though, you'd never know it looking at Natsuki or Nao, they both had a very luxurious upbringing. The downside was that it had been very insipid, and lacking any sort of parental love as they grew older. "Nina's grown up well, don't you think?"

"If you can call acting like a brat, growing up." They watched the large, but slow moving caravan get closer to them. "I still think I should give her a better reprimanding." A deep frown marred Nao's face, and her lime green eyes fought back the lingering rage from before. "Bowing down to anyone like that...I taught her better."

"That's just how Artai is." Natsuki was finally happy to have her leathers back upon her form. However, she was unhappy for the reasons behind it. "Windbloom and Aries are the same. In promotes order, lessens conflict, and over all, the system is justified." Where they were headed, would only gift them more strife. "It's all about leadership, and Artai has a duke failing at his duties. That is all."

"Not a surprise, with someone like Nagi pulling the strings." Midori could agree, Aries was much better off, so she didn't think it wise to discuss that kingdom at any length. There was one, however, that continued to be a concern. "Windbloom, remains to be seen. They may be forsaken, depending on what happens in Artai. I fear Mashiro and Nagi are both young, their kingdoms may fall if they aren't careful. They both have weaknesses that could crush them as leaders."

It was the woman of midnight who nodded at that first. "Nagi lacks any sense of diplomacy, and Mashiro lacks any sort of army, who would willingly follow her into the pit of hell." Natsuki sighed a little at that. "Given the right circumstances, they'd both be doomed."

"That isn't what I mean." Midori replied then, seeing more beyond that simplistic picture. "Though, your reasons are as valid as any. They both have their own problems as rulers, no doubts there, but their kingdoms are also not ones that would mesh well. In fact, the best Windbloom could hope for, would be to surrender to Nagi's ideals...that, or die trying to escape them." Midori shook her head. "This entire wedding is nothing but a convoluted mess."

"Welcome to our world." Nao's anger was kept mostly under her breath, however, her snarl didn't betray her meaning.

"Are you sure you want to come with us, Midori?" Natsuki's question gave away all of her inward reservations, and Nao exuded them without even noticing. "Big kingdoms like that, really aren't all that interesting. You could stay here, if you wanted, we would be back soon." It was an attempt to guard themselves, but, there would be no one willing to take the bate. "Besides, you're probably needed here."

"It isn't any doubt that I am." Though, Midori knew the heart of the matter was difficult. Her eyes fell upon Shizuru's form. The woman of fawn tresses had no idea what she was getting into, and yet she too, stood along with the pack of them. A conviction solid, even while being naive. When Midori glanced to Nao, all she could see was fury, and revenge. A plot, not yet carried out. Then, there was Natsuki, her eyes seeing things better left unseen, her heart longing for answered that might not actually exist. "However, what kind of nomad would I be, if I simply stayed my place?" Furthermore, what kind of leader would she be, if she were to leave a group as varied as this, to their own devices? "Besides, I'll be needed by all of you, soon enough."

As the large caravan neared, so too, did the nomadic group that followed. "Hail!" Midori called out in greeting, waving here hand high in the air.

"Hail!" The shouting roar of her people greeted her in return, and soon, they came to a halt, dismounting their horses. Dyne was the first to greet his leader, a bag of provisions on his back. "I thought you might need a restocking of grains for your trip northbound." Oats, while plain could be fed to both the humans and the animals. It was a good, solid choice. Lumen and Gal followed behind with two more bags. As his eyes fell upon the group, he smiled. "It's good to see that everyone is alright."

"The same goes for you." Though the tone in Midori's voice, a jovial one at best, spoke the truth. "I wouldn't expect anything less from all of you." Then she turned to the young princess. "How about you, Mashiro, are you enjoying the journey?"

"Not at all!" She huffed, crossing her arms. "The beds are uncomfortable, it's hot outside, and the food is tasteless around here! I'd like to return home soon, at least there I can be comfortable." Like the petulant child she was, she found no solace as those older than her, shook their heads in dismay. Midori was unfazed by this behavior, having known the girl would respond in such a way. "I don't know how nomads do this without going crazy, I think I'd die if I had to live this way forever."

"Mashiro, don't say that." Arika, as usual, was the first one on the defensive. "They've done their best to help out, we should be grateful."

"Not this again..." It was with muttered annoyance that Nina growled before composing herself. "Arika, it's hot, now isn't the time to be arguing in the daylight. Our princess needs to get in the shade. You should take her into the wagon, and get her something cool to drink." She begged for her friends to comply with her request, which they finally did, but it wasn't exactly quietly. They bickered the entire time, and it was hard to ignore. Once the squabbling was well away from the inner circle, Nina sighed. "Forgive them both, it's been a rough few days." One look in Nao's eyes told Nina not to even dare try and show her allegiance. "Thank you for helping us." So, she settled for showing gratitude instead.

"There isn't any need for that." As Midori said it, a loud crash followed suit, and soon, more shouting ensued. "Let me worry about the travel plans. You should help Arika deal with Mashiro." That high pitched shouting would drive everyone to the brink of insanity, if by chance, Nina couldn't keep it under control. "They'll keep fighting all day if you don't. Also, you should inform them that we'll be on our way soon enough." Nina nodded, rushing off, and Nao followed the girl, albeit at a more leisurely pace. "What was that about?"

"Nao has a few choices words for Nina, I think." Natsuki said quietly. "I just hope they don't get into some sort of argument themselves."

"Still caught up on old grudges, I see." Midori's dry realization was met with a deject nod, there was nothing they could do about it. "We'll take the girls from here. Romulus is in a bad state of affairs, worse than I thought I might find." Her eyes looked in Dyne's direction, but her address went to her entire group, as other nomads began to gather around. "Mahya and Laura have gone back to get more help. Romulus needs it. In the meantime, you are all entrusted to a few important tasks, listen well, because I can not accept failure."

In a display of devotion, those around her knelt down into the sands, and Shizuru followed suit as Natsuki did the same. "Many in their militia are suffering. They have no force in which to draw from. Our people battle on principal, and due to that, we are strong." Her eyes found a that even in such a dangerous journey, a few parents had brought along their sons and daughters. Children that were not yet fully of age, but yet, were old enough to see a true fight. "In honor to our alliance with Romulus, we should do our best to teach them. Endeavor to help their people become strong, just as we are."

That brought Midori to her second point, relying less on imports. "We of the Aswad have a firm understanding of bartering, in the past, some of our most lucrative tradesmen made a living not with money, but with an understanding of what our land could be used for." In fact, the Aswad had many secrets that they never openly spoke about. "In this tradeoff, we shall assume the same. We shall expect nothing in return for whatever we give them. Understand, however, this has nothing to do with pure generosity, but rather, our self invested interest in preserving good relations. Do not let bigoted slander overcome you." In a gesture of extending one arm, and her palm wide, she dismissed them.

"Yes, Leader." With that, the group dispersed, and Gal came to stand at Midori's side. They both stood there, watching as an exchange of goods continued to occur. "Once we've fully stocked up, I'm going to go north. I need you to do Natsuki a favor." The book from before was handed to Gal, and Midori regarded the leather bound catastrophe with a frown. "Do everything in your power to get this properly translated. I care not how you do it, only that it gets done. If there is anything of importance there, I expect word as soon as possible."

"Very well." Though, as she skimmed the pages again, she paused and looked at Natsuki, who had originally found the book. "Can you tell me more about it?" As many times as she'd glanced at the pages, she still felt at odds with the tome in her hands.

"There's nothing to speak of." Natsuki shrugged, though in truth, she remembered well that the bothy was unlike the ones she would normally find. "It was sitting in a bothy near the main city. The Black Valley is known to be covered in them, and we'd passed by quite a few. However, the one by the main city was known to have been used by a doctor for medical reasons." Of the other oddities she'd found, all of those she'd given away in exchange for medicine. "That wasn't the only thing I took, but I left the rest in a village as payment for medicine."

Gal nodded, and closed the book back up, tucking it under her arm for safe keeping. "Alright, I'll do some research, however, I can't guarantee I'll find much, with what little I have at my disposal." Still, with uncertainty in her eyes, she found her blank gaze lingering on the sands, before looking up to see Midori's gaze upon her form. "You will return safely, won't you?"

"As a nomad, you know well, the answer to that question." It was always unknown. One had to hope for the best, but that never truly meant anything. "The winds will never be at my back until I find a way to Freedom Nation. Until then, I will continue onward, no matter what I may face." With a sigh, she found herself unsure of just what she would find. "You all shall stay here until I've returned. I doubt Mashiro will stay in Artai, so, eventually, she will need an escort home." Trying to investigate in Artai, was a very poor idea. "When I've brought her back to you, you shall take her back to Windbloom." Yet, even with the dangers it would include, the very thought tickled her. "When I return, that book had better gift fortuitous answers."

"I can only hope." Gal agreed, but she very much doubted that it would.


	28. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"Tell me, really, do you think going northbound will be what you need most?" Nao asked her young companion as she looked over a few old gashes Nina had endured while under Nagi's wrathful hands. "Your scars are healed, Nina, but I know inwardly, they're not." There was a particularly deep scar from a knife, the blade that had cut cleanly across her abdomen in Nina's younger years, back when she'd just begun her training. "If you want, you can go seek refuge in Aswad, you'll be safe there."

"It isn't worth running away." Nina replied with a shake of her head as she pulled her shirt back over her body. "Eventually, Nagi would hunt me down anyway." Nina knew it, and that's why she hadn't attempted to try. "You have pull, Nao...but I don't." She was just a slave girl after all. "As of right now, I'm in service to Mashiro, but even if she were to free me, you and I both know that Nagi would take me back."

"That stuck up princess wouldn't ever do that." Nao let the bitterness seep out of her words. It was horrible taste, and a merciless vexation. She let it drip freely from her otherwise uncaring gaze. "So, right now, you're Windbloom's property." Nao hated even thinking it, let alone having to admit it. "There's nothing I can do to change that. Not until I rule over Artai, and even then, I question how effective my bartering would be."

"Even if you could, I wouldn't want you to try." Nina had finished preparing a meal for Mashiro over hot coal, and after plating the delicacy of red meat onto the platter, she sighed and stood up. "I wouldn't want you to risk anything on my behalf. Besides which, Mashiro is a better person than Nagi, she's just more grating on the ears."

"I don't doubt that." Nao said to Nina's retreating form, watching as the young teen slid between the thick folds of cloth, where the two other girls sat in the caravan waiting. She stayed and listened to the idle banter...the chattering of teenage girls, with normal problems. Ones that hadn't anything to do with royalty or standing. Nao wondered idly, if that's why Nina liked it so much, she seemed fond, nearly to a fault, of both of her companions...standoffish and stern...always quick to stick her nose in the air, a little perfectionist at best.

Yes, that was Nina...the little baby that Nao had watched grow up as a child.

"We're getting ready to leave soon." Natsuki's words pulled Nao from her gaze, transfixed though it had been, on the cloth folds. "Nina will be alright to leave, won't she?"

"Why wouldn't she be?" Nao's words were colder than she would have liked, but she couldn't bring herself to apologize.

"You know why." Natsuki said then, studying her companion. "Listen, you have to learn to maintain an even temper. Nina hasn't done anything wrong."

"I didn't scold Nina...I didn't have the heart in me to try." Nao took great amounts of stand, and doused it over the flame, splashing water over it every now and again to be sure that it was out entirely. "I'm not only angry at Nagi, I wish that I was. He's easy to blame." Nao continued to do it, until the fire was reduced to little more than wet, sloppy, sand. "I'm pissed off at myself too. I'm so fucking pissed off that we didn't bring her with us, and keep her safe."

"What wounds does she have?" Natsuki questioned, a bit sicked by the knowledge of Nao's confession. "Dare I even inquire what he did to her this time?"

"There were some burn marks on her back, but they're old." Nao said, releasing a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. "It isn't what he did to her body...Nina can take that, she's strong, just like us."

"You can adress this when we get to Artai. We can take it up with Nagi directly, if you want." Natsuki knew hey hadn't much longer to wait, because as soon as Nao had finished dousing the flames, Midori passed by. The wise nomad winked before taking two vials, and carrying them to the girls inside. The answer to what they contained, only came as an answer later, after they had begun traveling.

It was in fact, when the sun was high in the sky, that shouting of various idiocies died down into a murmur, and then, finally nothing at all protruded the wagon. Nina was the only one not to have sipped the treat that had been hidden within, a sleeping potion gifting desired silence.

...

"That was a sneaky move." Peace had finally greeted them as they continued onward, northbound. "I never realize that type of plant could actually be of use." A poisons bud that grew in the sands also made for a potent sleeping elixir. When mixed with the proper amounts of water, and anti-venom from a snake, it could beckon a deep sleep. "This is the kind of thing I wish they would lecture about. Our tutors don't focus on any medicinal herbs, or their uses."

"I wouldn't dare call upon it often, Nina." Midori replied, though in truth, she was also glad for the reprieve. "While it's true that the bud can easily quell their fighting for a few hours, the ramifications would be dire, if a person would use it more than one might need." Though, it was the easiest way to transport everyone relatively easily. "Mashiro needs her rest anyway, I can tell she hadn't been sleeping well." Midori's eyes glanced back at the wagon where she knew two young teens slept. "Tell me, what's so troubling for her, that it's keeping them up at night?"

Nina knew of only one reason. "The idea of getting married is the main issue. Windbloom is a troubled kingdom, Mashiro isn't as skilled as she might think." As she leaned back a little, using Nao for support, she found that she was quite tired herself. "However, as poor of a princess as she is, she at least has good taste in acquaintances." Nina struggled for something better to say, but found herself lacking. "Mashiro hates Nagi, and really, so do I."

Nao tousled Nina's hair, a bored sigh slipping from her lips. "We all do." It was an idle thought at best, when she found herself gazing along the endless sands, knowing that it was merely a figment of her imagination. "It's really only a matter of time, before we would have to see him again, anyway." The sands did have an end, and soon, they would begin to find a rocky, difficult path ahead. "Are you happy, living in Windbloom?" It was a question Nao had wondered, but failed to really ask, even now, she doubted she really wanted an answer.

Nina thought about that, though her eyes drifted to Natsuki for a moment. Even in the hottest part of day, she felt cold, and even a little lonely. "I miss the old days." The admittance was soft, but it was the booming truth. "I don't miss Artai, but, I do miss what used to be there." Now though, she found her post to be one of utter annoyance. "The only difference is that I've traded a ruthless duke for a petulant princess. Arika can be annoying too, but, if I had to pick between one or the other, I would rather be in Windbloom."

"I would rather that you be kept safe." Nao finally told Nina sternly. "I'm going to murder that idiot cousin of mine."

"How could Windbloom possibly be unsafe?" Shizuru asked, knowing it was one of the largest, and well known places to live. "It seems to me, as if Nagi is the only threat to be fearful of."

"Anyplace with a princess as single minded and self absorbed as Mashiro, is only safe until the people decide to turn on their ruler." Natsuki said then, a harsh truth perhaps. "It doesn't happen often, but if it were to happen, it would indeed put Nina in danger."

Nina nodded, she knew well of the implication. "I'm not any simple servant. I'm a female attendant and bodyguard, my jobs aren't simply domestic." Her put her hand on the hilt of her sword, and she could feel the crest of her home kingdom, Artai. "I was raised for the purpose of protecting and attending to the needs of female royalty." Nina looked over at Natsuki then, wondering perhaps, for not the first time why Natsuki had denied her gift. "I was originally meant for Natsuki."

"My uncle ordered it." Nao clarified. "When we were children, and our marriage was arranged, Nina who was very little at the time, was chosen to become Natsuki's personal attendant. Nina trained hard for that day." Nao let one hand fall onto Nina's shoulder, mostly to support the tired girl. "But things changed when my uncle died. Nagi put a lot of rules over my head, and Natsuki's...and even used Nina, to try to force our hands. She did become of the best fighters in all of Artai, that's without a doubt, but...she isn't Natsuki's anymore...hell, she doesn't even belong to Artai."

"How did it happen?" Natsuki dared to ask the very thing that none of them had yet dared to question, at least not fully. Emerald eyes fell onto Nina's form, begging for an answer.

"A bartering tactic, I think." Nina was unsure of the exact details, but, she did know one thing. "I was sent to Windbloom because it was convenient for him to send me there...but, I don't think he did it, just to be nice to Mashiro." Even if he did, it was common knowledge that he'd have another motive. "I may belong to Mashiro on paper, but, we both know Nagi could rip that up in an instant. If he truly wished to have me back, he wouldn't hesitate."

"Nagi is planning something." Nao muttered. "Windbloom would be a nice trophy prize, surely."

"If Mashiro refuses him you mean." At that point, with the world around them exuding such an eerie calm, Nina could only sigh. "I don't want to go back to Artai." She said then, solidly a truth. "Mashiro is worth my life and servitude, because, even if she's selfish, and a little bossy, she has never once lost sight of what her life is to become." In fact, Nina had seen often times, the hints of a wonderful queen just under the surface. It would take time. "Within that, there times I can feel at ease."

"Nagi is still going to pay." Nao growled out. "The other servants must be worried sick about you."

"We will get our revenge." Midori began, though her voice cut through the thick anger that had begun to build up in the air. "However, we will not do so without restoring balance and order." Like a knife, her words were driven home with precision. "You can't expect to do that until after you can take his place. Your people are your primary concern. Not those of Romulus...and not Nina. She can take care of herself."

"You can not blame my rage, nor the fact Nagi deserves to have a punishment of his own." Nao told Midori, very much the understatement of the century. "I can't help but feel worthless right now." Nao's growl was deep, her teeth clenched in fury. "Especially once we get there...we're as good as doomed to fate...that refuses to sit well with me."

"About that...Shizuru, fall back with me for a bit, if you would." Natsuki had been hesitant to have this conversation, but now was a good a time as any. She fell back from the group, telling Shizuru to do the same, as they slowed their mounts. After they were a safe distance from prying ears, Natsuki smiled a bit sadly. "Artai is very different than the places we've been thus far...that worries me, because it really isn't any place you belong."

"You and Nao grew up there." Shizuru knew that to be the truth. "In the snowy north...they looked down on you with eyes as cold as the very northern air." In the face of uncertainty, she couldn't help but feel a lingering sense of apprehension. "I refuse to take heed." As if, she'd set herself up for little more than a world filled in emotional pain. "Even though I know they will treat you coldly." Yet, even if that were the case, she knew her heart would never stop longing for Natsuki. Not now, and likely, not ever. "Nao told me, that we could be punished if we were to be found out."

"Lashings are not uncommon." Natsuki shrugged, she couldn't say anything more definitive than that. "They happen more often than not, Nao and I, used to watch them go on in the city square a lot." Gifting false comforts would end everyone in ruin...Natsuki refused to do that. "If it were to happen to either Nao, or myself, people would flock to see it. Be it in shock, or in sickening glee, it would attract many. It is a common punishment for anyone committing adultery."

"Wedlock is an important tradition." Shizuru offered, though, she knew Natsuki felt very mixed about such a thing. "It's perfectly natural to want to protect it fiercely."

"It has more to do with amusement, rather than tradition." In truth, Nagi sometimes lost his temper on principle. "Nagi is an angry person, so, he takes it out on others a lot." As she force herself to smile, she merely shook her head. "He'll take it out on me too, if given the chance." Natsuki couldn't bear to lie. "I can't promise what will happen to me, once we reach Artai. Nao and I have done a lot of things to warrant trouble this time."

"I would rather not think about that." Shizuru grew pensive, as she forced herself to look forward, if only to steady herself. "Then again, mischief must be becoming on you. You seem to get into it a lot."

"Shizuru listen, it isn't just about the thing between you and I...if we're lucky, he didn't send people to follow us, so he might not know." Natsuki wanted to hope that was the case. She hadn't sensed any spies, but it would not be the first time Nagi caught them red handed either. "However, we've caused riots, we've gone into Black Valley, a place he never wanted me to go, mind you." Natsuki's voice became imploring. "Artai is no place for you to be, and once you get there, I want you to stay in the shadows, where you'll be safe from the public eye."

"I was wrong to assume the worst of your intentions, Natsuki." Shizuru finally said then, her voice soft. "I can see now, that you truly do care for me. That, in and of itself, gifts me with a new difficulty. I can't be quiet and demure any longer." Shizuru's voice, wistful, and melodic, sent shivers down Natsuki's spine. "I will not stay hidden away. Instead, I will face anything with you." That was the choice she'd come to, for herself, and for Natsuki. "I will not let you endure anything alone." She couldn't think of any other fate in the world to have, besides being by Natsuki's side. "You and Nao have suffered enough of that already...loneliness doesn't become you."

"You do not want to cross Nagi." Those words were so full of unmistakeable truth that Shizuru paused, regarding Natsuki with a worried gaze. "I had those feelings once too, you know. Thinking that if I reached out and tried hard enough, I could prove something to the world." However, in doing so, what had she gained? It surely wasn't some great gift from the heavens. It normally got her into a world of hurt and a bloody mess to clean up. It was nothing to brag about. "However, I was an idiot, and toyed with fire." Her emerald eyes hardened a bit in concern. "Promise me, you'll be well behaved, no matter what might happen to me."

"Natsuki...I love you." Shizuru sighed, looking at the woman of midnight tresses. "Just as I have heard the pangs of your soul, it is time that you hear mine." She took a breath. "So it is with a heavy heart that I extend to you a very broken plea." Shizuru had taken great faith in Natsuki, and would continue to do so, but, she couldn't deny herself any longer. "Let me become your future...trust me enough to allow me to do so. You keep me at arms length halfheartedly, and I wish that you would not." She licked her lips, and steadied her voice. "I have cut the tie needed to be released from servitude, so now I must be selfish, and ask for the future you have before you. Allow me to stand by your side, always...even in times you fear for me."

"Shizuru, I will only break your heart, when I'm tattered into bits." Natsuki said softly. "Either that, or Nagi will break you himself. I wouldn't want to ever see that."

"I do not care!" It was one of the few times she could ever remember ever raising her voice. Her crimson eyes met those of emerald, she swallowed down the lump in her throat. "You've told me before, that it would never soothe me, that it would never calm me...that I would never find solace." Shizuru knew however, that was only the tip of the iceberg. "You are cold, frozen on so many levels...but I know I can burn that all away, if you'd only give me the chance to truly try...despite what Nagi may do, I don't care."

There was no worse a fury, than a woman who had been hurt...Natsuki was the epitome of such scorn. "Love is a horrific feeling. It crushes you when you least expect it. How anyone could want that...well, it is beyond my comprehension." Yet, she did love Shizuru even now. "Artai isn't like Romulus, Shizuru. You won't be able to hide behind anyone, Nagi is in charge, completely. He makes that known every time we visit." Finally, she released a sigh. "If he were to hurt you, I've no idea what I would do with myself."

"I feel the same way about you." Shizuru insisted then. Every day with Natsuki was a new breath, something precious. "Natsuki, I can not deny the hurt I see in your eyes, every time you talk about Artai. Sometimes, you would even cry in your sleep, and I would never know why those tears dripped out into the feather pillow." There was so much that seemed so clear, and yet, there was still so much unanswered. "I want to know why, Natsuki. I want to feel something, even if it is only pain...even if there is nothing more, I want to struggle through it with you. That is how much I long for you."

"Don't go looking for trouble, please." Natsuki begged her. "That's all I ask."

"I will not seek it, Natsuki." Shizuru promised. "However, if it comes, I will face it headlong. Do not assume that I won't."


	29. Nomads Log: Hunting Grounds, Artai's Boarder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We have a Nomad's Log chapter...that means you'll be getting a chapter update today as well...sit tight for it, it'll come sometime in the late evening.
> 
> I do not own Mai HiME/Mai Otome

The north is well protected by rocky, steep hills, and the passages are quite dangerous. There is a long way, and a short way, around the higher elevations. However, if you carry more than simply a pack, you'll need to go the long way, as it is the only way to fully utilize the dirt path. To get to the dirt road most commonly used, you have to travel due north, and beyond a few territories that are apart of Romulus's command. Eventually, you'll come across a huge fellfeild. Once you reach that, you know you're headed on the right path.

At first, the terrain will be nothing but rocky and hard to cross. There won't be much in the way of interesting things to see, and honestly, for at least one good day's travel, it'll be mundane and uneventful at best. Occasionally, you may come across some mossy shallow water, but if that's the case, unless you've come here in the middle of summer, everything will be frozen over. If it isn't frozen, don't drink from it...there are better waters up north. The ones near the southern end of the field are stagnant, and honestly, because of that, drinking from them proves to be a risk.

It's cold, and the chilly winds will cut through almost any cloth a person might be wearing. Travel is slow going, and often times, once you get out of the rocky area, you'll find that the grasses grow in short, annoyingly muddy patches.

Now, the north has two seasons. Winter and summer. However, for anyone who has any understanding of Artai, it's come to be known as the icy season and the snowy season. The reason for this is because during the icy season, freezing rain falls from the sky, coating everything in icicles. During that time, the weather is bitter. Contrary to popular belief, the season is actually far more troublesome because of that.

If you want, you can collect the frozen water from low hanging trees, and melt that. Generally, it would be okay to drink, provided that you set it boiling first. I wouldn't tell any greenhorn to proceed to eat the ice raw, or undercooked. It's just not sanitary. Besides, warm tea is the beast for this kind of weather. I would also advise to carry milk, a great staple to fall back on, due to fatty content. It may not sound like much, but people burn a lot of calories in the cold...that's energy easily wasted, and that poses a danger. Always remember to rest from the cold early and often, whenever shelter or a reprieve can be provided.

Although this is dangerously close to Artai, this field can be considered contested territory.

Be that as it may, there is good reason for that. People can not sustain on this muddy ground. When the ice comes around, there isn't any decent shelter, either. Though, even if this place isn't occupied by man for any length of time, it isn't entirely devoid of life. I would argue, that this place is a must see, for any true northern nomad. If a person can endure the harsh environment, I would highly recommend this spectacle. There's plenty of flora and fauna here, something both a godsend for food, and a captivating beauty.

You see, this is a place gifted peace, due to it's nature.

Caribou are common, and you'll find them grazing in the bushes, and so too do the bison, albeit in the open fields. I wouldn't advise hunting them on your own, however, seeing as that can be quite the task. As far as small game creatures go, rabbits are in high supply. Wild goats hide in the higher elevations, for those feeling a bit more adventurous. Actually, it isn't uncommon for trappers to capture live creatures to sell in the deserts, due to the fact that the people covet such a thing. Aswad nomads also come here often, for that same reason, and because of that we've dubbed this place the hunting grounds. This area provides for some of the most vital trading in all of the northern lands.

However, just as there are creatures that are gentle, there are some that are dangerous. Bobcats are small, but troublesome creatures. They may look cuddly, but they aren't kittens, be mindful of that, traveler. If that were not enough, large bears have no qualms about raiding a nomad's camp. Though, they stick close to open rivers where there are fish to eat, I would not put it beyond them to follow the scent of food where ever it may be. A cooking pot could attract trouble late into the night, or early in the morning. Foxes are another common treat to see, though I wouldn't say I'd call their presence a risk.

Normally, they're skittish...although, they are cunning, make no mistake of that.

With such a variety of animals, all useful to the people who surround them, it is a joint effort to hunt them carefully...culling numbers is always a dangerous proposition, and something the local communities fear. Artai clearly needs the meat, and it isn't any surprise that Romulus, Remus, and even those of Black Valley depend on the nature of this enriched ecosystem. The fields carry on for quite a distance, and the scape will change gradually in this cold, often desolate, area.

In any case, traveler, once you reach this field, if you continue north, for quite some length, of time, you will eventually reach the snowy north, known as Artai...and once you do, I can only pray that you find solace there, because I never do. That, however, is a record for another time.


	30. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We've now left the hot desert, and we've now stepped chilly northern territory. Onward we go to Artai...but not before taking in this snowy spectacle that acts as the wide open contested territory. A lot of Natsuki/Shizuru content to come in the next few chapters, as Natsuki and Shizuru mend fractured ties.
> 
> I don't own Mai HiME or Mai Otome.

Chapter 25

"A three day jaunt in the stifling desert, and this is what we're given." Nao said, looking down a shallow pathway that would lead into a gorge. "No matter how many times I come here, expecting something different, I still see those mossy rocks glistening in ice." She rubbed her hands together before looking clueless at Natsuki's map.

"It's the start of the fellfeild." Natsuki said then quietly, feeling it wrong to disturb the peace she found there. "What else would you expect to see?"

"Anything..." Nao's bland voice carried over the serenity. "An animal, a frozen pond, a naked gypsy in the wind...something better than these damnable rocks."

"Well I think it looks lovely." Shizuru said then as she looked down into the muted colors only the frost that covered the land could offer. Muted greens of grasses and moss, sleepy brown colors of faded bark...even the stones speckled with erosion, all sat as a gift before her, something her eyes drank in with glee. "Though, it is quite chilly, isn't it."

"Yes, it is." Natsuki replied, pulling a long cloak of wool from one of the footlockers. "However, to enjoy life in the north, one must come prepared for that." With slow motions, and an appraising gaze, she bundled Shizuru in the long, complex piece of outerwear that had so many snaps and ties, most wouldn't even know where to begin. It was however, something anyone living in the north would have. "This should keep you suitably warm."

"We went from horrible heat, and now it's getting absolutely freezing." Mashiro wasn't at all pleased about it as she huddled near Arika and Nina for warmth. "How do you stand this type of home!" She's directed that question at Nina, but received merely a shrug.

"I don't." It was a smooth, shallow reply, but one that seemed enough for the princess. When red eyes fell upon her form, she couldn't help but look back at the questioning gaze. "These fields aren't anywhere close to Artai." Nina offered, another answer that wasn't at all what she wanted to say. "Don't let yourself assume that any of our people would hail from this place...it's just like the desert...worthless to me, really."

"You'll be warm in the wagon." Midori said then, looking at the thick drapes that kept the cabin protected. "The inside is well insulated. If that isn't enough for you, there's enough blankets to afford warmth for all, I can guarantee that."

"Where are we, anyway?" Mashiro huffed, grimacing when she saw her breath in the air.

"This is a northern fellfeild." Natsuki said then, to explain what Nina obviously wouldn't. "They're frozen half the time, even in the summer, they're known for being chilly. Human can't live here easily, unless they like harsh environments. This particular field sees passage by humans more often than most." As they began to climb down into the gorge, Natsuki couldn't help to bask in the cool, crisp air. She could see little whispers of her breath, and of Shizuru's. That pink splayed across her face was because of the cold. Her cheeks coloring beautifully to the whims of the wind. "There's a lot of animals that live here, so we call this place the hunting grounds. It's contested, so, it isn't always safe."

"Still, you could say we've just hit the southern most boarder, into the reaches of Artai." Nao replied, knowing that Artai often considered these lands to be something they owned. "It would be a hassle to come down from the peeks to keep a strong claim here, so, mostly it remains unguarded...but, that's also important. We need the animals to thrive, or the huntsmen wouldn't be able to provide the food that Artai expects of its people."

"I don't suppose you can grow much upon snow and rocks." Shizuru said then with a small nod. "So, do you bring in by import?"

"We always eat hearty meals, so, grain meals common in the desert aren't common in the north." It was spoken in a grunt, as the fiery redhead lifted up one of the wagon sides to get it unstuck from a rock. Natsuki and Midori helping as well. "We can grow some stuff, like snow peas. However, there's always an abundance of meat." Nao said then. "We eat that, and drink fatty liquids the most."

"Speaking of that, sooner or later, I'm going to have to find us some." Natsuki looked around as they continued to travel down the steep pathway, marked only by the tracks of caravans as they had passed by. "There's a small lake not far from here." Years of travel had carved a sort of trench, and following it, gave an easy place to walk. Occasionally, a patch of ice would prove difficult, the horses unable to cross until something like dirt, or other things were thrown over it. "Nao, you remember it, right?"

"You mean that pond?" Nao remembered it well. "It's frozen over by now, I'm sure of it." Though, even if it wasn't, there was still another little problem. "We really shouldn't rest until we reach one of the northern streams."

"With how many people we have, supplies, and how tired the animals are, I hate to say this, but we wouldn't reach any stream by nightfall." Natsuki said, her skills in being a pathfinder told her so. "In a few days time, perhaps." She allowed her emerald eyes to follow the tracks on the ground while she thought carefully about where they might stop to rest. There were no other spots she could think of that were nearby. "We can always boil the icicles if we need to, and there should be be animals in the forested area near there. It's really the best spot for nightfall."

"What concerns do we have as far as exposure to the winds?" Midori asked then, unsure of just how cold it would get by nightfall.

"None." She replied as helped the horse guide the wagon. "The elevation will be low enough that winds will not become a large threat...merely a minor annoyance."

…

Making a camp for lunch was an easy thing to do in the fields.

It was a sprawling landscape, that gave the fruits of life a new meaning. It was cold, of course, frost dancing upon crystal covered grass and moss. The trees were an odd hue. They were covered with unusual bark, and scarred in odd places. Many wouldn't be used to seeing such a thing, though, it made it for a beautiful sight. Such dulled tones something of an afterthought for whatever deity had made this place. It was chilly, but that too was normal. Some took to the cold more naturally than others...as if this new wonderland gifted a way to play in the dull hours that would otherwise bore them.

It was a blessing, but also a curse.

Those most playful of their group, made that truth startlingly apparent. "Hey everyone, look!" Arika called as she stood on the lake, frozen over with ice. "It's completely solid!" As she went running, she had not a care as she continued to slip and fall. "Hey, Nina, come on!" She continued to prattle in excitement. "This is really cool."

"Would you watch where you going...geez, you're such a klutz." Arika was all but dragging Nina along with her, the two of them fumbling around haphazardly on the slippery surface. "Lakes freeze over all the time." As she pulled her friend up, and maintained balance, she sighed. "It's just an ice patch. I don't see what's so amazing about it." In fact, she would have been more interested to see water...not ice. Though, in her eyes, it was more of a pond than anything.

"That it is an ice patch! That's what's so cool." Arika hadn't ever seen one before, and as she looked down at the block of clouded water, she felt in awe as her feet struggled to maintain purchase. "I've never seen one up close before. It's like a window." She could see everything frozen within the water. "So cool!"

"Careful." Nina had to support her friend again, least the girl fall face first onto the ice below her feet. "This thing is rock solid, you don't want to and hit your head...it would be dangerous at best, fatal at worst."

"Kids..." Midori sighed, as she sat with a map in her lap. "Be that as it may, you two, be careful not to go into the center." The warning was made mostly for the sake of acting responsible, but when even Nina shrugged unimpressed by those words, Midori went back to fawning over her plans. "Nao, maybe you should go supervise." It was an offhanded comment, but one that held merit, even if the pond of ice was thick enough not to easily be broken.

"I wouldn't worry." Nao said then with a bit of a shiver to her voice. "They can't drown. It's probably about thigh deep at best." Through puffs of air, and cheeks rosy red, she began building a fire to sit by. Nao's hands begged for the warmth, especially after having smashed the icicles off the nearby tree for water. "I doubt they'd fall in. Actually, I'm more worried about those two." Nodding at the direction of the tree she'd just pulled the ice from, she felt a bit annoyed. "Natsuki better be hunting."

"Are you kidding? She wouldn't dare lift that gun with Shizuru around." The eldest of the group said, knowing better. "Shizuru has Natsuki wrapped around her little finger, we can all see that."

"Even so, Natsuki won't always be obedient." Nao said, knowing well of that. "If she feels cornered, she'll simply run away. That's just how we are." As if to provoke her statement, she sighed. "Why does Shizuru insisted on living in a dream land?"

"Hmm?" Looking over to the large target, smeared with red paint, Midori only chuckled. "Does that really surprise you?" It was forgotten completely. "Natsuki can be the way she wants to be again, now that she isn't in a city ruled by expectations." Instead, the figures cuddled in the tree branches. "I think it's good for them."

"Yeah well, that will be short lived." Nao muttered, putting more wood over the fire. The fellfeild was filled with small frozen lakes that would melt for only a short time in the late spring, and stay that way for the cold summer. "Hey Mashiro, are you sure you don't want to come out and play in the snow? Your friends look like they're having fun."

"I refuse to become a human popsicle!" She complained as she clutched onto her warm milk. "It's freezing out there, and it isn't even any better in this contraption you call a shelter."

Nao nodded, knowing that it was only fated to get more chilly from here on out, and she lifted a compartment to get into her bag. She was used to this weather, but, the further north they went, they would end up donning more cloth. Picking up a thick cloak, she handed it to the girl inside of the wagon. "Put that on, and you'll get warm quick."

"You're spoiling her." Midori smirked then. "This weather is beautiful. I'm thankful for the chill, actually." Now that the two people in the distance had been brought to her attention, she couldn't help but watch them. "Are you truly okay with that?" She asked, nodding to the fact that Shizuru had her arms around Natsuki in an embrace that spoke more than simple words.

Nao just grumbled and shook her head. "Natsuki's a moron...and Shizuru is impossible to deal with. They're perfect for each other." As she stirred the warm water in the pot, examining the food boiling inside, she paused. The crackling of the fire kept her eyes busy, and with a sigh, she let all of her truth fall off of her shoulders. It was a dead weight she didn't need at the moment. "Besides, I have the love of my life waiting for me back home." It was utterly the truth, still, as her eyes drifted off to the distance again, she couldn't help but to feel a pang at that. "It just seems like everyone I've ever cared about, is going their separate ways. Natsuki...Nina...eventually, I'll be the only one left."

"Something to be expected, eventually." Midori replied, without any true commitment to the statement. "Honestly, I don't think Shizuru has the slightest clue as to what she's getting into." As she watched the two girls slipping around on the ice, and then, back at the tranquility that the frost covered tree provided, Midori was honestly troubled more and more every day. "Still, you have to admit, there are times when I think all of this mess will clear itself up. People are like that, merely coming and going. It's better that way."

Nao shrugged remembering the days back in the Black Valley. "It's not my fault Shizuru decided to get tangled up in more than she could handle."

"All of the warnings in the world will do nothing. Two peas in a pod, the both of em', I can't say I didn't expect it though." Midori finally sighed, as she put away her completed notes. "They're both very set in their ways, it'll take time to reach a common ground."

"They'll drive me to drink." Nao agreed, though, she was already doing that, happily.

Midori just smiled at that, as she tied up her satchel. "I tried often, to figure the two of you out, the first time you stepped foot into the domain of the Aswad." She'd attempted often, to peel back the layers, but often, she'd come up blank. "You both had this stubbornness. I can tell you, the type you had was not unlike Shizuru's own. She lacks worldly truths, she'll gain that in time. She doesn't often grasp at every tiny rhyme, nor does she calculate every reason, but I feel that's a good thing."

"A good thing for whom, exactly? They're playing at a game they won't win at this rate, and that can't be good." Nao ladled herself a heaping portion of stew, tasting it, and finding it lacking in finer quality. Still, she continued to eat it anyway. "The carrots are still hard." She said then, with her mouth full of food. "A good hour, tops." Nao said, stirring the pot again.

…

"You have to be quiet, and aim carefully." Natsuki breathed. "With any weapon, any time you falter, so will your weapon." Natsuki explained, as she let let her eyes stray away to glance at the woman playing so careful attention. "When that happens, you leave yourself open, just like earlier when I was on the defensive while you practiced your swing."

"The ground below my feel was covered in snow." Shizuru offered, it was a new terrain, but that wasn't any excuse for nearly slipping, blade in hand. "Have you ever put those skills to work?"

"Several times, but, normally it's just thieves." Natsuki said then, looking down at the ground, swinging her feet a bit. "A couple bandits here and there, but Nao and I are generally cowards. We don't travel through places that are sure to invite trouble...unless, of coarse, we have to."

"A sordid mess, I'll bet." Shizuru couldn't think of anything else it could be, whenever Nao and Natsuki found themselves intertwined in any sort of trouble. "At least you've only had to deal with riffraff, though, I doubt I'd ever want to see you truly violent. That one fight with Nao, you were so easily cruel to each other."

"Hmm." Natsuki nodded. "We are that, at least." Natsuki wondered how best to explain, but found herself tongue tied at best. "I never said it was easy." Natsuki said then as she aimed her gun carefully, though it wasn't loaded at the moment. "Only that I had to do it." She took a white cloth and cleaned the gun with it, before thinking to properly load it and begin hunting. "It's something that's just gotta be done sometimes." With a sigh, and a careful glance over to Shizuru, she shrugged. "It really is better not to think about it."

It was double meaning, but, Shizuru didn't dare address the second implication.

"I would have to think, it wouldn't be something I could lock away and forget about. Fighting is so unnecessary." Shizuru said then softly, seeing for not the first time, a resolute stare in emerald eyes, one that she wasn't exactly fond of. "If I tried to just push everything away, I'm sure I would just feel guilty about it...everything."

"It isn't about feeling guilty, or not. It's about being in a moment where you don't really have any other choices. Nao's actually better than me at killing, provided that she can sneak up on people. She's into the cloak and dagger type of combat." Natsuki said then. "I don't know, maybe I'm just a coward. Guns aren't perfect, really. In fact, a blade is more steadfast. It holds up better, and needs less overt attention." However, advances in arsenal happened to be a growing market of Artai. "Guns miss their targets more often than not, even as one of the best shot in Artai, I still miss more than I hit."

"You really were troublesome children, weren't you?" That's what this story was about after all. The way they trained, the way they fought...and the way they eventually put that training into practice, having gotten into a fight with a few bandits the first time around. It was a story woven loosely by things Natsuki hardly gave any detail about. It was one of many Shizuru had heard, purely because she'd been pressing hard enough to acquire answers. However, even she knew her pressing would eventually stop yielding effective results. "So what happened, after you tipped over the wagon filled with poultry?"

"We gathered up the foul and we went home, that's all." Natsuki said softly.

"Really, Natsuki I want to know what happened next." Enthralled with such a story from the past, Shizuru couldn't let this opportunity slip by. She needed to know of Natsuki's hard work, her trials, and her errors. She wanted to hear to the successes, and anything else that Natsuki might feel inclined to share. They 'd been perched on a low hanging tree branch for quite a while, as Natsuki watched the fauna in the distance, waiting for one to get a little closer. "It doesn't matter how inconsequential it is. I really would like to know." Eyes, like that of a huntress, contrasted sharply with Natsuki's cool voice of reason, and Shizuru couldn't fathom why.

"There isn't much more to tell." Natsuki replied then quietly, so as not to scare off her pray as it got closer to the tree. "After we gathered all of the chickens back into the pen, we were scolded. Nao was forced to stand on burning coals for disturbing the peace, and I was sent to my bedchambers for the better half of a week, with hardly any food." It was a memory that was now far away. It would forever stay in as one of the more influential times of her life. "Nao is literally the forsaken prince...they'll damn her to all within earshot, whenever the opportunity arises."

"However, it sounds well earned." The hints of amusement danced in the air as Shizuru considered that. "I'm sure Nao gave them a difficult time, even as a child." Still, she couldn't hide her contempt about the idea of the unusual treatment. "She has a sharp tongue, and I doubt things were different back then." Though, such a thing was malicious, and the laughter came only due to the dire need of light. The story lacked it greatly, and it welcomed a disgusting taste in Shizuru's mouth. "What will happen, when we go to Artai?"

Natsuki sighed at that, she hadn't wanted to talk about it. "I shall be harassed by the dressmakers, and my grandparents will drive me to the brink of my sanity." Natsuki said easily enough, though that was all in the purity of truth. "Nao and I will have to put on airs again, and, because of the servants, we will have to share the bed together. You and Midori will stay as honored guests in the castle, least Nao and I start a scene, something Nagi would not want. From there, it's going to get interesting. I've no idea what to expect." Her lips were dry, and so, she wet them with some of the warm milk nearby. It was cooling steadily, much to her dismay. "There always seems to be excitement."

"I don't want to be apart from you." Shizuru said she buried her hands in Natsuki's warm pockets. "Even if I understand the reasons, I have to admit, my heart wavers a bit, when I think about Nao."

"Don't worry about it." Natsuki said then, as she regarded Shizuru carefully. "The more you do, the more trouble you will bring."

"I will not bring trouble for anyone." Shizuru said then, she sent Natsuki a look of despair regardless of her words, and sighed greatly. "However, even if I understand the reasons clearly, I can not allow myself to condone what anyone might do, purely because you feel differently than Nagi wishes that you would." She clasped onto Natsuki's cold hands, and studied that pale face, looking for a comfort that didn't seem to come. "I also can not condone Nao. I trust her intentions are good. I know that they are, but, I do not trust her actions."

At that, Natsuki became a little softer, her voice hardly there at all. "Shizuru, have you ever climbed the highest tree in the area, and just sat there no matter what? Even pouring rain, or blinding sleet?"

"No, I don't believe that's something I would want to experience." She shivered, it was already cold enough, without thinking to being doused as well. "It sounds a bit unpleasant, really."

"That's only one way to look at it." Natsuki said then with a soft chuckle. "Yeah, it's a little cold, but, well...the reason I make the connection, is because Nao and I can be described in such a way...what we are, to each other...I mean." She put an arm around Shizuru's shoulder. "It's easy to look down...and get scared. It's easy to cling onto the tree for dear life...but, it's hard to let go, and trust yourself when you know you might fall and get hurt...and, when you can't see in front of you...because your vision is blurred...sometimes things just..." Natsuki shook her head. "As kids, we always tried to see who was the braver person."

"And who, may I ask, was the victorious one of such a contest?" It was a pretty even match, Shizuru would assume, and she found herself unable to hold back, wanting to hear of such a thing that she, herself, would likely never do.

"It was always a tie." Natsuki said then, with a mild shrug. "We didn't want to be defeated by the other, so, even when Nao fell from the highest tree, and broke her arm on the long fall, that didn't stop our rivalry." Though, Natsuki wondered, as she looked down at the ground, if the same could be said, if she were to play such a game with Shizuru. "It made it even worse. We trained harder, learned new techniques faster...all in an attempt to become better." Still, Natsuki loved heights so much, because of tests of skill. "In the end, Shizuru, what I'm trying to say, is that it's easier to cling onto something you know is there, rather than jump down into a place you don't understand."

"Nao is your tree." Shizuru said then, it was the obvious conclusion to come to.

Alas, it was the wrong one. "Nao's what happened, when I jumped." Natsuki said, and then looked carefully into the crimson eyes that searched her. "You want me to be open, so, what I'm going to say, is part of that." She didn't let her eyes wander away from Shizuru. "Nao and I grew up together, rivals, friends...and then, something a little more. However, Shizuru, It's like Nao says, capriciousness is laced within us...the reason Nao and I are the way we are, and the reason Nao broke her arm, when she was just a child, are the same." Natsuki said, her chest feeling tight.

"And, what reason would that be, Natsuki?" Shizuru coaxed gently, her hand cupping Natsuki's cheek, feeling as if the woman of ice could possibly shatter completely in her hands. "You can tell me."

"Nao was standing at the edge of the tree, and she was looking down. It late at night, the rain was like ice. The bark was slippery, and when she began to jump, she got scared in the middle of it, and tried to reach back for the tree. She couldn't hold on, and lost her grip, falling into the thicket below. I could hear the crunch from my own branch, and her scream. I took the time to climb down to a lower branch, before I jumped down to make sure she was okay." She leaned into those cool fingertips that caressed her cheek, and put her hand over Shizuru's own. "It was easy to overcome the tree, to go back, and jump again." Her grip tightened, only slightly. "A leap of faith, as lovers...that was different...it's just like when Nao broke her arm. We were both still holding onto something...fear...or denial, I guess...we didn't jump as much as we just sort of fell...but we landed hard."

"If you can't jump, Natsuki, just fall into me." Shizuru murmured. "I'll catch you this time."

"I make no promises." Natsuki said then, very carefully, her voice shaking, but firmly leaving no room to argue the topic. "I'm not in the position to do so, I won't give you a false sense of security." This was a time for reprieve, for safety, and for the collection of wandering thoughts. "I don't want you to worry about things. There's peacefulness here, and I want to preserve it as much as possible."

"I suppose you're correct." Shizuru knew it was a fleeting time, and as she watched some deer grazing nearby, she could help but take comfort in it, for what little it could be worth otherwise. Something so serene, something Natsuki fully intended on disturbing, if one came close enough. "In the interest of preserving the tranquility, how about you put your gun away."

"I don't know if you've noticed or not, Shizuru. However, we have more mouths to feed than we have food in the wagon. I really should start hunting to help stretch out supplies." Still, as the pleading look in Shizuru's eyes continued, Natsuki sighed. "You really aren't going to let me get anything done today, are you?"

"Not if it involves killing innocent creatures, no." Shizuru scolded, as she put her hand onto Natsuki's knee. "Please, just enjoy the day for what it is. You can always hunt later, if you really must."

"Alright." Natsuki relented then. "Only today, for you...I won't go hunting the game."


	31. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

It was early in the morning, the sky a dull lifeless color as the stars began to fade. Creatures like birds played little tunes in the distances, a few animals greeted the morning with their normal barks and howls. Arctic wolves in the distance a rarity to hear singing, but a gift all the same, as they rarely came down from the hilltops, unless of course, when they went in search of the rivers. There was an occasional sound of an icicle falling from a tree, and the sound was not unlike glass shattering.

This wonderland of winter was home to many, a paradise yet to be found...no human could ever truly belong here, though they could marvel all the same.

Nina had begun to warm water in the large pot that they used to keep bathing water. Most people were still asleep. The sanctity of the morning was something that few would truly appreciate, but something Nina loved to bask in. The gray that fell over the land, just before the sun would touch the sky. Natsuki was awake, but she wasn't at camp, Nina knew, because she could hear the sounds of shots in the distance, a hunt being made sent far away birds scattering away from the trees. She didn't pay it any mind. Most would know better, than to question a sound that would ring out in Artai, more often than not.

Gunfire was one such sound.

Still, Nina remembered well that one wayward traveler was still unable to grasp the entirety of their lifestyle. When sleepy red irises came to meet her, their owner bedraggled from a night of hard to attain sleep, Nina could only look at her with a bit of disdain. "Natsuki will be back, but it will take longer than anticipated." She said more to herself, than to Shizuru. She looked down at the warming water, that was now steaming warm and bubbling, pulling it from the fire. "Come, I will help to bathe you."

"I'm capable of that on my own, I'm not a babe." Shizuru replied, as she rubbed away the sleep from her eyes with a small yawn. "You were warming that water for yourself, were you not?"

Nina could only look at the icy ground at that. "No, I wasn't making it for myself." She said then, before she looked out into the forest. "It was meant for Natsuki. She will be cold, and likely a bit tired when she returns. However, That will not be soon." She could tell by the indications in the air. "So, if Natsuki is unable to use this right now, I know that you can." She carried the pot with one hand, and all but dragged Shizuru away with the other, reaching a rather odd bundle of bushes that would conceal them well. Here the underbrush had been swept away, and in its place, a long strip of cloth had been put on the ground. "Stand there, so you do not make mud, I shall wash you."

"That's unnecessary, but thank you for your consideration." Shizuru said then, as she began to unfasten her warm cloak that Natsuki had given her. "Leave the water and I can do it on my own."

"It isn't. It does have reasoning." Nina sighed with exportation. "In Artai, you will receive the same treatment, if you want to have it or not, it won't matter. You will have this sort of treatment. Royal visitors are attended, with everything that they do. They are attended." At that, she began to hang Shizuru's garments on a few low handing branches of a small tree nearby. "Part of it, is because they're royalty. However, the other part is because Nagi often distrusts people."

"Is Artai so fearful of others, that they need such distrust?" Shizuru asked when she put her arm over her now unclothed breasts. "It seems to me, as if it should be the other way around."

"We are a kingdom that is heavily steeped in advancement. However, because of that, there are many spies who wish to partake of that." Nina explained, knowing her role well, in the event of a spy. "Attendants kill anyone whom they believe is a threat. Including myself, the truth is, once we're inside Artai, I'm surely going to be performing these duties anyway. So, I wish to do it now, without the pretense of being a guard."

"I always knew you hated to be an attack dog." Natsuki said then, her voice coming from behind the trees. "You've planned ill of your bathing area. I'm cleaning some meat, not far away." Natsuki made sure to stay concealed. "If you wish to bathe there, that's fine, however I'm a mess." They could hear the sounds of Natsuki's footfalls stop, as she leaned heavily behind something, her staggering breath the only telling sign of where she was. "Nina, do me this favor. Keep Shizuru well away from my working space...there are some things her eyes aren't meant to see."

"You told me you wouldn't hunt." Shizuru replied then, a little shocked. "You didn't get hurt, did you?"

"Of course I didn't." Natsuki said softly, as if that question was rather silly. "I made the promise that I wouldn't hunt last night." Natsuki said then, from the cover of her hiding space. "I made no guarantees about today. If that upsets you, that is a problem that you must carry the weight of. We need to eat rich food, grains will not fulfill our bodies in this cold." Her feet could be heard carrying her back to her working space, but, it wasn't far away.

"How barbaric." Shizuru sighed, shaking her head. "Grans are plenty enough." The sounds that soon followed, in the not so far distance, were ones that spoke of her catch.

"You don't realize how much energy we burn up in a day, do you?" Nina payed the sound no mind at all, as she continued to strip Shizuru down into nothingness. Pulling away her undergarments with respectful modesty, looking away from womanly attributes that would otherwise be ogled. She dipped a cloth into the warm water, and squeezed it out only slightly. It was now cool enough to use without burning a person, and Nina let the cloth run over Shizuru's smooth back, and neck. "Natsuki is right, you know." Nina said, if only to fill the empty space. "She can't help but be bothered by the state of our food supplies. It is better to have more, besides, would it really be so different, if it were a common cook who'd brought the food?"

Shizuru felt the sting of the implication, knowing what Nina was hinting at. "Knowing where the food comes from, is merely an afterthought." That seemed not enough. "When one does not live so close to the homeland of the animal, it's of little concern." It was all Shizuru could offer, and she felt it lacking. "Any identity of who it may have been, of what life it might have lived, is gone. I like it that way." Within that, Shizuru took issue with living on the land that such animals were taken greedily from. "It's easy to think little about it, when one has the comforts of home."

"What about when a place such as that, gives no comfort at all?" She ran the cloth over Shizuru's body quickly, so that the woman would not catch a cold. Nina didn't linger over supple breasts, nor other womanly attributes. "When your home is a fortress, and your treated as some sort of prisoner, then what type of comfort is that?"

"A poor one." Shizuru agreed, but she hadn't anything she could say to make it better. "I wish that wasn't the case. I wish comfort would come to everyone who wished it. Everyone who's searching for peace, deserves a little comfort at least."

Nina looked up momentarily from her crouching position, with a breath, her eyes caught those of Shizuru's. "There isn't any comfort in Artai, for any of us." Nina's voice was utterly raw at that, and with shame, she looked to the ground. "I am an attack dog, I protect the women of Artai...but my loyalties are different." She looked over to the place Natsuki was hiding. "When the time comes for Natsuki to take over the Black Valley, I wish to serve as her guard. That's what I would like most."

"You're very loyal to Natsuki." Shizuru could tell, even with what little she knew about the girl.

"That loyalty is returned." Nina said then, as she stood up to fetch a dry cloth, now that Shizuru had at least been rinsed. "When I was little, Natsuki and Nao played with me, spent time with me...they were my friends." Something Nina found odd. Natsuki never treated her as a servant, though that's what Nina was meant to be. "Natsuki will always have my blade, and my life, no matter who owns me."

At that, the bushes rustled, and Natsuki sighed. "Shizuru, are you done? I need to clean off."

"Yes, Natsuki." Shizuru said, but noticed Natsuki was still hiding. "Why not come out of hiding?"

"I'd rather you not see this." Natsuki muttered then. "Even if it isn't mine, there is copious amounts of red."

"I've still got the water Natsuki, if you'll come though, I'll help you disrobe." Nina said then, before taking a peek behind the tree. "You're going to need more than one pot." Nina said then, taking sight of Natsuki's dirtied form. "That's more than a rabbit." Nina grinned. "We'll eat well."

"Right now, I'd rather bathe well. Hand me the pot that you have." Natsuki sighed then, knowing that to be the case. "After you do that, do me a favor and draw cold water from the barrel, I'll use that for scrubbing." When Nina passed the large iron pot to Natsuki, Shizuru saw a blood covered hand take hold of it, and she felt her stomach turn harshly. She could hear the splashing sounds, as Natsuki likely rinsed off her form to the best of her abilities, and then a loud sound of water falling from all over sounded, and Natsuki came out of hiding, naked, and dripped wet, handing the empty pot to Nina. "Make haste please, it's cold here without a fire." Natsuki said to her.

Shizuru peered over at Natsuki, who was clearly cleaner than before, but still seemed to have the remains of her latest task lingering on her hands, the pink tint not only from the cold. "Is it not dangerous?" Shizuru asked then, feeling as if what Natsuki had done had been rather unsafe. "What if you missed?"

"The animals would scatter, just as they did the first several attempts. We really do need to look into proper firearms advancement once we reach Artai. I can't keep using such a temperamental piece of weaponry." Natsuki said then. "However, now that we have food, I will not have to do it again. I promise you that much. If we need to acquire more, there are fish in the streams up ahead, and hunting with the gun will be unnecessary."

"That gun was the first one you'd ever been given." Nina said then, finally back with the water. "It's old, and outdated...you should start carrying a musket."

"Those aren't useful." Much to Natsuki's aggravation, Nina refused to give her the cloth to wash with, and instead began to care to Natsuki's hygienic routine. "They're bulky...and give me that damn cloth!"

"No." Nina said then quietly. "I want to help you."

"When will you stop thinking of yourself as my servant?" Natsuki shook her head as Nina began to wash her down.

"When you decide to carry a musket." Nina answered back sternly.

"If I were going to do that, I would simply use a blade weapon." Hell would freeze over before she started to carry around anything with a long barrel. "Nao would scold you, if she saw this." Natsuki's words were gentle, but meaningful. "She hates that you're so duty driven." In fact, Natsuki was a bit bothered by it as well. "You should know you don't have to be."

"We all have our dreams." Nina said then, looking to Shizuru, and then back at Natsuki, who was as clean as could be afforded without a proper hot bath with soap. "My fate, it would not have been a cruel one, if you had only accepted me." Then she wouldn't have been played with by Nagi's hand, beaten, and gifted away. "My fate was my dream...and, even now, you are a ruler worthy, because you are a very dear friend."

"It's because we're friends, that I'm not worthy at all." Natsuki mumbled.

…

"We've got to keep up this pace, if we want to reach a decent river before nightfall." Natsuki urged the group by the early afternoon. "It won't get any warmer as the days go on, so our best bet is to stop at the winter village nestled deep in Artai's boarders...in order to do that, we need to get out of these hunting grounds as fast as possible."

"I don't give a damn how long it takes." Nao sighed with a bored expression as Nina nodded the same way. "Hell, Natsuki, lets just send them out ahead, and camp here until they return."

"You can't do that." Midori said as she brought her horse up to walk by Nao's side. "You have to see Erstin."

"That's a given." Nao muttered back quietly. "I've also got to deal with an entire slew of problems that I dare not attempt to figure out."

"Suppose you all stop muttering over it for a little while?" Natsuki was more than a little exasperated. "We have to go, as much as I hate to admit it...but it's sickening enough to think about in the loneliness of my own head. How about something not so depressing?"

"I'm starving." Arika said then. "We could talk about dinner."

"A glutton, that's what you are." Nina grumbled, though she had to admit, she was feeling the onset of hunger a well. "We just had lunch not a few hours ago."

"It was long enough ago that I'm hungry again." Arika shot back, crossing her arms. "Hey, Mashiro, what do you think?"

"That I'm surrounded by idiots!" She shouted from inside the wagon. "That's what I think." She'd been shivering as she huddled under warm blankets. "I vote that we stop to build a fire."

"Then we can use that fire to eat." Arika nodded in agreement. "Great idea."

"Yes, because we would eat meat raw..." Nao couldn't fathom how a girl as flighty as that came to become a royal guard of any caliber.

"Arika, your uncle is a nomad of the highest honors, and your father before you just so happened to be that way too." Midori said then. "You have your father's free spirit in your blood, don't you know. It would be a travesty to even think for a moment, that you could be forgetting your roots."

"I'm used to traveling in warm places, not cold ones." Arika said then, though she frowned when she thought about the man she hadn't known well at all in her youth. "Besides, I only traveled with my father until he couldn't go anyplace anymore. Then I lived with Grandma."

"That is why I believe you should return to your homeland, Arika." Midori said then softly. "You had family ties that once hailed from Freedom Nation, didn't they."

"I don't really know." Arika said then. "I know that my family had relations to the nomads, but, according to Grandma, she traveled with them only a few times." Thinking back to everything the woman had told her, she searched for some sort of answer, but she found none within the depths of her memory. "I think most of my family were settlers."

"Well, that may be true, but even so, Arika you've got a good strong bloodline in you." Midori said then, trying to be encouraging. "It's a very willful one, especially, if one would take notice of your uncle. Rad tells stories about your father often, and they are a pleasure to hear."

"Uncle Reito was never the playful one." Arika said, shaking her head. "I've always been told stories too, but, I don't remember where we came from. Grandma says dad was always getting into trouble, but that he was a kind, honorable man. I wish that he was still here."

"He is..." Midori said looking to the path ahead of them. "In his own ways." She'd been watching Natsuki's skills, and how often she'd been looking for a particular landmark, Midori continued to look too, but it hadn't come within their sights yet. "This is rather odd." Midori finally feeling the urge to say something about it, she opened up a book she kept in a side pouch of her saddle. "Natsuki, tell me, are we due north, or northeast?"

"North." Natsuki said, looking at her compass briefly. "However, If you're looking for the bothy, I regret to inform you, we're on the west side of that path...we won't be using that landmark, nor it's housing as a rest area." She passed the map to Nao, who then handed it to Midori. "I've made a red line, and a blue line, that is very much like yours, but we're not following either of those paths. We're on the middle, yellow road."

"That puts us past most of the areas for cover." Midori murmured then. "Why do that?"

"Because there's a flowing river just up ahead, if we continue on for a few more hours." At the thought of being able to take a chilly dip, she smiled. "We can follow that river all the way, and if we do, it'll take us to a small coal mining town. That will also ensure a constant supply of fresh water." Natsuki looked back to the wagon and shook her head at the shivering mass under the covers. "Hold out just a little longer, Mashiro. In a few hours time, we'll have a roaring fire going, I guarantee it."

"You'd better!" Mashiro called out in an order, though it was so shaken up, it sounded more like a request. "Windbloom wouldn't be happy if their princess came back as an ice cube."

"Are you kidding, they would pay to see it." Nao said, regardless of the disapproval she was gifted for the thought process better kept to herself.

…

True to her word, it was only a few hours later when they reached the riverbank, and decided to stop for the evening. Setting up camp was a quick and easy process, and as soon as that had been done, and a fire was started, the group settled down to enjoy the venison that had been made earlier for both breakfast and lunch. There were a few of them that weren't hungry, and of those people, they found a place to practice well away from the animals and wagon.

"What?" Shizuru asked for the umpteenth time that evening. "What am I doing wrong this time?" Her crimson eyes looked to Natsuki in confusion, but the truth was, the look reflected in emerald eyes indicated that Natsuki was a bit frazzled.

"Honestly, where should I begin?" Nao began cackling, and Nina's muttering wasn't at all subtle "Besides that the blade is backwards...that's a given." Natsuki sighed, not really quite sure how Shizuru had managed to do that. "You should never be looking at your blade in the face like that, not ever."

"I said, perform for me the Yodo Buri." Nina sighed shaking her head. "I've no idea what you're doing, Shizuru, go back to resting position."

"A disgruntled Jodan Buri?" Nao offered then, though she wasn't quite sure herself as she watched Shizuru do as she was ordered.

"Would you like to teach me, Nao?" Shizuru shot at her. "If not, I suggest you keep quiet."

"Oh yeah, what are you going to do if I don't?" Nao growled.

"Enough Nao." Natsuki sighed offhandedly. "Midori's been teaching her."

"I can tell...she looks like she's about to hit someone in the face, like it's some sort of bat or something." Nina sighed. "Natsuki, fix her into position, would you please."

"Aren't the nomads supposed to be a relation to the northern styles of combat?" Nao asked then, to which, Nina scoffed.

"Swinging gigantic weapons around isn't the same as using a naginata." Nina, however, was well versed in the royal art, as was Natsuki, though the latter would never admit that. "It's a weapon used by royal women, Nao. Midori knows the general idea, but to have practiced it into perfection, I'd highly doubt it." No, Natsuki even knew better of the long weapon than even Midori, she had been formally trained with it as a child, after all.

"Here, Shizuru." Natsuki said coming up from behind her. "The naginata has to be parallel. Like this." Natsuki said, and then moved Shizuru's body just a little bit. "And, it's gotta stay at hip level. Your arms need to be extended a bit better." After she got Shizuru into place, she backed away from her, letting Shizuru get used to the feel of the stance. "This is Yodo Buri."

"Now, that's proper form." Nina said then nodding as she grabbed a long fighting staff she used, doing the same basic movements to show Shizuru. "Let's start from the top." Nina said with a sigh. "Jodan Buri." Nina called, as Shizuru got into the proper position. "Naname Buri." Again, Shizuru followed through. "Yodo Buri." Again, everything went as planned, but then, they hit another snag. "Naname Buri Shitake." At that, Shizuru faltered again. "Gods, what am I going to do with you?" Nina shook her head.

"Alright, alright." Natsuki said again, getting a bit frustrated herself. "Let's change things up a bit."

"Oh no, we're doing this until I either die of frost bite, or she can go through a full rotation without faltering once." Then Nina went behind Shizuru, forcefully putting her into place due to her agitation, and little else. Natsuki for her part, continued to observe. "You can't have the stupid weapon floating in the middle of nowhere." Nina continued on anyway. "Remember the way you're griping things, it makes all the difference. If you keep holding the damned thing the way you are, on the return, when the blade flips, you're liable to hurt yourself." She put Shizuru's hands where they belonged once again.

Nao, out of a lack for anything better to do, grabbed Nina's fighting staff, performing the rotation entirely, all the way into completion. After doing it a few more times, while Nina went over the basic stretches once again, Nao yawned, bored. "These things aren't hard to learn." Nao mumbled.

"The stretches aren't hard to understand." Nina corrected. "However, to perform them perfectly, and without faltering, it's harder than it looks."

"No it isn't." Nao said then, with a dull expression. "Look, watch me." All eyes fell on her form, and she once again did the rotation.

Nina scowled and narrowed her eyes. "Shizuru, give me your naginata." At the request, the long weapon was handed over, and Nina sighed at the length. "Longer than it should be for my height, but it'll do." She said as she leveled her eyes at Nao. "Okay, so you can stand in one spot and flip around a stick. So can a toddling little child, that doesn't mean anything. See if you can keep up with my speed." Nina told Nao, knowing it was impossible for Nao to do. While performing her stretches, she also added in some advance footwork, making it look easy, while Nao tripped over her own feet into the snow. This lasted a few good minuets, and Nina became used to the weapon of such length. Finally, she came to a resting position, looking over at Nao. "You need to train on your footwork...you're from Artai, that's a disgrace."

"Well, Nao is better at swordplay." Natsuki shrugged as she looked over at Shizuru. "Those movements she was doing a bit ago, those play into standard attack rotations later. We can't teach you how to do footwork, without you knowing basic stretches first. It has to come naturally."

"From the top." Nina said then, as she held her her fighting staff in one hand, while handing Shizuru her naginata back. "We'll start with Jodan Buri."

"You really should take more time to tutor her." Nao told Natsuki softly. "She wants to learn so badly, that you can see it in her eyes."

"The naginata was meant for women of royalty who wished to protect their families. The weapon is iconic, because it can be used as a spear, a bo, and a sword." Natsuki recalled from her old literature. "I was drilled on it, but I was always told I wasn't elegant enough."

"Your grandmother used to beat you because of it." Nao laughed at the memory for a bit, and then frowned as something came to mind. "Is that why you don't want her to learn?"

"In my land, mothers won't have to protect their children...grandmothers will never have to teach their granddaughters how to fight, because the men won't be cowards...they won't run away, nor will they abandon their families." Natsuki said then, a bit of anger at the tips of her voice. "It won't come to that ever again...what we went through...I'll never allow that." With a breath, Natsuki watched on. "If a mother teaches their child how to fight, it will be because that child wishes to learn."

"Shizuru herself, is a princess...even if she no longer has a home." Nao's honesty a soft requiem. "She was born to wield the naginata...you owe her that much of a connection between who she is now, and who it was that she used to be."


	32. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Her body hit the icy waves with a cold splash, the water was deep enough to submerge her, and when she came up for air, she released a shaken breath and licked her lips. The glacial water was undeniably crisp and clean. She missed this, and her body had felt stifling ever since her morning, when she'd gone on the hunt...though she'd rinsed herself off then, this felt so much better.

The water was moving past her, washing away any and all grime, felt like a renewal, even though Natsuki was sure her lips were going to color purple in protest.

The air temperature was contrasting her body sharply, and when she lifted up her arms to push her hair out of her face, she could feel the heat radiating off of them. The sunburns she'd acquired, a near farmers tan, cooled and she noticed that her once pale features, weren't quite so pale anymore, though, her tan would never be as dark as some of her comrades, and her skin was still quite fair. Each mark, blemishes from her past, were more apparent, and that, she did not like...sighing deeply at the cuts that were several years old, and the thick bands that ran around her body, dictating where the sun had kissed her skin.

Natsuki would never admit it, but, like many in the northern reaches of Artai, she took a particular pride about being as near to purity as she could be.

Her eyes slipped shut, as she floated endlessly on the currents that occasionally she would find sloshed over her face and shoulders, pushing her under the water, for even just a short time. She would resurface, with a small puff of a breath, and find herself engrossed in the darkness around her. There was only a small fire on dry land that illuminated the area faintly. Beyond that, and the even smaller reflection in the water, there was nothingness. Only darkness, to which she was little more than a shadow of her image.

Natsuki found herself at peace, when she herself became apart of the void of serenity. How could she be troubled, with such an endless sky above her? How could she be distressed, with water helping to carry her burdens? The river dragged them away before they had time to linger. Even the fish that danced around her legs, seemed at ease enough with her presence that they refused to scatter. So long as she remained floating, above or beside them, they roamed with her in the water.

Her thoughts drifted, as she hoped they would, to the many things she'd need to reflect about. The loneliness was not a bad one, but merely a moment that she sought out. Still, even without anyone to share her musings with, she found herself enjoying the chilly water. She danced in the waves idly, until the feeling felt as if needles were dancing across her body. At that, she retreated into a warm pelt used for outside, winter bathing...it was from a bear, so it was thick, and offered warmth as she dried herself, something she did at her leisure.

She'd only just began to redress into warm clothing, when she heard rustling in the bushes near by. "Who goes?" She rumbled, reaching around for her knife, unsure of it was a friend, enemy, or merely wandering fauna. "You there, in the bushes." She replied in a stern order, ready to strike as soon as she saw it fitting.

"So much as nick me with that knife, and I swear to the gods above, I'll castrate you." Midori warned then as she came out of the bushes. "You've been gone for two, going on three hours, Shizuru was getting worried." Once Natsuki had let herself ease out of battle stance, Midori beckoned Shizuru through. "See here, I told you Natsuki was bathing." Then, she stuck her hand into the water, splashing it around a bit. "Not bad, I've encountered worse. Shizuru, we should partake of this chance, the more north we go, the chillier the water will become." She began to rid herself of the clothes she was wearing, tossing them to the side, near the fire Natsuki had burning, small though it was.

"I don't think I can tolerate such cold water. I'll warm myself some to bathe, once the morning." Shizuru said, being completely truthful about the matter. Though she took notice of some odd supplies one might find merely for a bathing trip. For example, a small offering of food, and bedding for the night. "Did you intend to camp out here, all alone?"

"There was no room in the wagon." Natsuki replied, more out of shame than anything. "So, since there was no way to find warmth in the open, I thought I'd sneak back behind the riverbank where it meets the trees."

"There was the bed, was there not?" Midori implied, looking between Shizuru and Natsuki. "Although, you've both kept your distance as of late." She tossed away every bit of cloth, until she was nude under what little cover the night provided. Her large bosom on display with every breath she took, and that spoke nothing of her womanhood, as prideful as a barbarian could be. "Either way, Natsuki, you could have joined me, I would not have minded." She stepped into the water slowly, her feet sinking into the cold mud of the bank before she made it fully into the water, her tracks washing away with each lapping motion of the water, until her footprints were gone completely. "Why have you not, if I may be so bold?"

Shizuru looked away as soon as the question slipped from Midori's lips. She was unsure of just what to say to that. "There are more people than what one should deem necessary, in that wagon."

Midori laughed at that, her voice loud for for any who wished to hear, until she settled, floating around in the water. "If a person feared that, Shizuru, we would never procreate." Midori said in jest before her face turned back to being the cool observation of an honest leader. "I didn't mean that type of bedding, by the way. I merely wonder why the two of you seem to end up as far away from each other, in the depth of your sleep, as possible."

Natsuki felt the searching eyes on her, and when Shizuru refused to offer an answer of her own, Natsuki had to fill the void, least it swallow her up. "Due to transgressions...I didn't know if I was allowed the privilege." it went just a little deeper than that, but her mouth felt particularly dry when she tried to speak of it. "Furthermore, wouldn't that be taking advantage of something that I've no right to have?" Red irises glowered at her, almost in shock, and Natsuki's breath caught in her throat.

"Is that why you've been sleeping huddled in the corner?" Shizuru didn't fathom that to be the case, but if indeed it was, clearly she had more work to do with Natsuki than she first thought imaginable. Emerald eyes however, were foretelling enough. "Natsuki never once, have you ever taken advantage of me." Shizuru said in awe. "Why on earth would merely sleeping near me, entice you to believe that I would see it as that?"

"Why do you always think I'm lacking impure thoughts?" Natsuki asked then, as if that was her answer for everything. "I'm not above moments of pure insanity."

"Well you're still modest enough, not to make such a desire clear." Midori jibbed then, the most off color statement imaginable. "You know very well, what some might do to garner a woman's attentions."

"I am not Rad." Natsuki shook her head. "Not only that, but I wouldn't dare pull anything like Dyne has in the past."

"Now that was an experience." Midori pulled herself from the water and smiled a bit, an utmost perverse grin. "One hot day in Aswad, Natsuki and I were discussing a few of her latest and greatest misadventures in a few of the taverns she'd visited. Dyne couldn't contain himself you see, and in a rare display, he picked me up right over his shoulder. He carried me to his personal alcove, that just so happened to be front and center of the fire, tossing me on the linen bedding." Midori could see the look of understanding dawn on Shizuru's face, and took amusement in that. "Next thing I know, he had his way with me right then and there."

"What she fails to tell you, is that she's loud." Natsuki corrected, as she put a few more pieces of wood on her fire. "And that she beat the daylights out of him after the fact."

"Well my escapades, few and far between, and thus interesting as they are...isn't my issue now." She squeezed out her long hair, and used the bear fur she had with her to do the same thing Natsuki had done, huddling by the fire for warmth until she was dry enough to dress completely, least she dampen her clothes and be stuck with the chill all night. "If I may be so bold, no one is above moments of insanity...however, the urge is a natural one, and I feel such a thing should be cared for, upon the whims of such a desire."

"What do you do then, when you're out here with us?" Natsuki asked, knowing she had never personally ever shared any intimacies with the leader of the Aswad.

"I do what anyone might do...look for a method in which to see my desires be met." For only a moment, she wondered if she might ever see the end of hers, but then, just like always when pondering such a thing, she nestled it down deep in her heart, to think about when the sun would start to rise...only then, in the light of hope, would she ever think along those lines. "Desires are only that, after all. It doesn't matter what we do, we're only human." Midori found herself laying back on the ground, a serenity on her face. "That means we're entitled to makes mistakes...but, that we're also obligated to learn from them."

"Do you always have wisdom to offer?" Shizuru's question one that seemed a challenge hidden among her very breath. "As well traveled as you are, there must be a time when even you, are lost for words."

"It is because I'm well traveled, that I know having a position is the most important thing." Midori's words were lacking the admonishment that her eyes seemed laced with, as she looked at Shizuru for a moment. "Think on it." Midori said then. "Every person is as different as the starts above us now. Of those people, they have feelings, ones that not everyone can find agreement with. Still, as a nomad, I take interest in such a thing." That was one of the reasons she was so well respected, and so loved by her people. "Nomads walk these lands out of choice, but, it is because we choose to walk them, that we must also learn as much as we can about each person we meet." Then it was with a tiny frown, that something else came to mind. "Think, for example, how depraved it would be, if a nomad were to try and judge a group of people, when they themselves are outsiders."

Natsuki regarded Midori then, because that was something that played in Natsuki's mind often as well. "Nomads don't think that way, least none of the ones I've met."

"You've only met mine, Natsuki. Nomads are everywhere, and many do not share such a belief." Midori said then, as if, perhaps, Natsuki still had much to learn. Then, with a self deprecating smile that was lost to her comrades, she herself thought the same, knowing that even for all that she'd seen, and every scholar she'd spoken with, it was still not enough insight, and Midori doubted greatly, that she would ever feel so enlightened. "The world is little more than a book in and of itself, it is up to the person to look, and in that event, find something within themselves. Nomads, no matter of what mind they are, travel due to the call of something they've yet to find."

"How can you be so sure?" It was meant conversationally at best, but still Shizuru pressed forward when a beseeching gaze found her own in the flickering firelight. "What if the person has found something, and wishes to share it with others? Isn't that a reason to be nomadic as well?" Shizuru licked her lips, and stared into the fire, a small sigh at the tip of her tongue as she continued. "People don't always search, at least, I do not believe that they do."

"What kind of person do you believe has only to gift insight, but yet, has nothing to learn?" Midori asked then, truly pondering the questions placed before her. "What type of person has such a clarity, that they themselves are little more than a messiah?" She doubted there could ever be anyone on this earth who would be such a way.

It was clear she awaited an answer, but Shizuru had little to give. "I do not know, honestly."

Midori grumbled deeply for a moment. "There have been no gods, nor goddesses ever to grace the good books, who have not, in some way, sought out to reach for something...attain and gain...even the most noteworthy, have at least sought to create or to destroy...is that not still seeking something?" With that, she shook her head. "No, I don't believe any person who thinks in the way you described, is even worth the time of day...it would be pretentious, and besides that, mankind can never be gods, nor can they be devils...they may simply be humans, captured by vices."

"Vices huh, interesting way to think about it." At that, Natsuki allowed herself to fall backwards too, the grass was cold, and not just a little wet. "Every star in the sky...it just isn't something you see in Artai."

"It isn't something you see in any city." Midori said then, putting her hands behind her head. "Even in the villages, the sky seems dull."

Shizuru found herself looking up to that dark abyss that seemed to shimmer tiny little trickles of light. She was leaning back on her hands, and sighed, looking down at her bandaged palm, a cut from earlier. She brought her hand to her chest, cradling it, when she felt a twinge of pain. "Does it hurt, Shizuru?" She heard Natsuki ask her, but even so, those emerald eyes seemed more focused on the sky that loomed over them.

"A little." She afforded, though she hoped that it didn't truly show on her face.

"Let me see." Midori pulled herself up, and made her way over to Shizuru, undoing the cloth bandages very carefully, and unwinding it from Shizuru's palm just enough to see the long, thin cut. "A daggers bite." Midori said then. "It's one of the most painful types of cuts. Gashes, those heal over time. Rips and tears, they leave behind an ugly truth..but the thin slice of a sharp blade baiting into you...there is nothing that is more honorable." Midori replied. "The pain will linger as a testimony, leaving behind the scar that you have earned." The bite was not deep, the slice was thin, and Midori wrapped up the slightly seeping wounds again before it could break open and start gushing.

Midori stood up, dusting herself off, and gathering her clothes to dress. "I really should be heading back to camp. The two of you should stay here...catch up a bit...I know you've both been aching to get away, at least, for a little while. Best to take the time now, don't you think?"

…

"We need to change the bandages anyway, and I have the supplies to do it." Natsuki said casually, when the moon was low in the sky, just about to say a farewell to the world so that another day could begin. "You really should enjoy the water while you can, in a few days, not even I will be able to stand the temperature." Natsuki murmured then, as she held out her hand standing in the deep water than came up well beyond her belly. "You'll get used to it."

"Natsuki, I must admit, I'm not the most avid swimmer in rushing waters." She could swim, but in rushing water, she wondered if her skills would be enough. "I normally only swim in resting waters."

"It's just like the lake in the Black Valley, Shizuru. It simply has a few waves, that's all." Natsuki said as she came a little closer, taking hold of Shizuru's hands. "You'll be fine."

Shizuru let Natsuki lead her though the water, but she gasped and stopped in her tracks when in reached her thighs. "Gods this is freezing." She shivered before Natsuki pulled her into her arms, as the woman of fawn tresses shivered. "So cold." Shizuru whispered.

"Stop thinking about it." Natsuki said then. "When you do, it won't be so cold."

"It is cold, Natsuki, that's a fact." Shizuru could see the moonlight reflecting in the water, and she wanted nothing more than to just submerge herself, and welcome the numbing feeling already reaching her legs. With a sigh, she leaned into Natsuki enough to throw them both off balance from the slope they were standing on. They plunged under the water, and Shizuru's grip on Natsuki tightened. When they came up for air, Shizuru let out another sharp, shuttering gasp. "How on earth do you stand this?"

"I'm used to it." Natsuki said then, as she kicked her feet, trying to keep both herself, and Shizuru afloat. "Hold onto me, I'll go to a shallower area." She murmured as the waves rushed passed them. She swam to a place that she and Shizuru could stand in. "Better?" Natsuki asked, as soon as Shizuru realized the waves weren't carrying them anymore.

"No, it isn't." She didn't want to let go. Before, she had an excuse to cling onto Natsuki, to feel her warmth, but now, she hadn't had that excuse anymore. "Natsuki, I know that you never intended for this...but..." What could she possibly say, knowing truly how Natsuki felt about her. "You say that you do indeed think about impurities...surely you know that I do too." She wanted to stay like this forever, just being held again felt so very wonderful, like a drug. "I've missed this."

"I'm sorry that I'm a product of causing pain." Natsuki knew however, her voice was unapologetic, and her eyes could only carry such irony so far. "It's all a know how to be, sometimes." It was all she allowed herself to be, when times troubled her.

"Love is painful." Shizuru sighed then, pressing herself into Natsuki's warmth all the more. "You said so yourself, did you not? You told me that it was horrific, I recall."

"I did." Natsuki said as she buried herself into the nape of Shizuru's neck, kissing the soft chilled flesh there. "It is horrific...frightening, even."

"Transgressions, even if they are your own, will consume you, Natsuki. If you can't learn to let them go." It was the one thing Shizuru had learned from all that she'd seen, and was she was continuing to learn about Natsuki every single day. "You have to forgive them...and even I have to understand that. I have to admit that I have to wait, before I can stake a claim to you...but Natsuki, I need this...love is only horrific when you feel you might drown, or fall from redemption...but like this, it isn't so terrible, is it?"

"I don't know...it's not completely a comfort, if that's what you mean." Natsuki said then. "I know that sooner or later, we're going to have to get out of the water. When we do, I'll have to let go...even if it's only for a second. I don't want to think of it like that, but it's all that comes to mind...is that, the warmth will be gone, and then it's going to hurt again."

"Then let it wash over you." It was merely a heated breath. "I'll dry your tears, if you'll dry mine."

"You really think that I can do that, don't you?" Natsuki replied then, looking down into the water as she pulled away. "That if I do, it'll fix something...but it won't."

"There isn't anything that needs repair." Shizuru explained, while following Natsuki's gaze. "I merely like seeing eyes that tell me things. When they glisten and glaze, when they're filled with anything...something that I can understand clearly. The times they're brimming with tears, at least I know you're saddened...and they moments they glint in anger, I at least feel your rage. The nights you gazed at me with need, Natsuki, are the nights I miss the most. Even the twinkles of amusement, or those soft gazes that hint at longing...I love the emotion within you Natsuki, yet, you show it to me not nearly enough."

"There isn't anything besides stone right now, because I haven't any idea what to feel." Natsuki said then, carefully. "Rather, what to allow myself to feel." She swallowed hard, and frowned at her uncertainty. "It's easier to make a distance, than it is to close a gap." To add insult to injury, that's what Natsuki wanted the most...to just close the gap for good, and yet, she'd no idea how. "We may not be that far apart in body, lust being what it is...but can you say the same for spirit?"

"You are easily a world away from me, in that regard." Shizuru murmured then, having to agree. "However, I want to be let into that world. I understand that you see things differently, and that you strive for the most unreachable places...things always seem to be at your fingertips, but still, they are so far away for you, aren't they?"

"The difference is that you believe it can not be reached...you think that I will not grasp hold onto it, as soon as it can be attained." Natsuki replied then, looking into crimson orbs. "I know that it can be. I understand clearly what my goals have been, and my intentions thus far have carried me steadily towards my goal...and the things that I want." Yet, that was where the fork in the road seemed to end, and the pitfall began. "However, what if there is something new that I want, and, what if that thing changes my plans?" Natsuki asked, her eyes not revealing much of her true feelings, even now. "The question I'm finding difficult, is do I hold onto only my goal, or do I let go of it entirely, in pursuit of another?"

"I think..." Shizuru took a breath to calm her racing heart at that. "I think it would depend on what your new goal was, and how important it would become to you."

"That, Shizuru...I do not have an answer for." Natsuki sighed deeply. "However, right now, I don't think I'd like one, either."

"Nor would I." Shizuru could agree...she wanted such ignorance, at least for the moment. "I'll shun to hear an answer that I may detest...so, because of that Natsuki, simply don't think on it."

"You'd rather my feelings run amok...haphazardly and without recourse to action?" Natsuki asked then, slightly surprised before shaking her head in dismay. "That's not a wise thing to wish." Natsuki warned carefully. "It would tangle the web my heart has become even further, you must know that."

"If it means I'll be privileged enough to see your emotions, Natsuki." Shizuru nodded. "Then yes, I would very much like that, despite weather or not it is wise...regardless of how things may be...in this way, I am just as reckless as you." She cupped Natsuki's cheek watching those emerald eyes focus on her, smiling inwardly as they found themselves transfixed on her gaze. "I'm not afraid to get hurt...I'd rather be hurt, than unfeeling at all."


	33. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

It was another day of battle practice in the cold afternoon. "This requires that the blade stays down when you change your grip." Her tutor was one she least expected, but welcomed. "Keep in mind, the shaft needs to remain overhead." Natsuki's gentle reminder kept Shizuru on the right course of action.

"Yes, I remember." Shizuru answered softly. "Always keep steady."

"Don't look down, look at me." Natsuki said. "Not my blade." Again gently reminding her. "Look at me...and side step, side step...good keep doing it." Natsuki's words guided her movements, and Shizuru followed every order as precisely as she could, though she would occasionally let her eyes begin to fall. "Eyes on me...smaller side steps...you'll fall."

"Alright." Shizuru was trying her best to obey. It was like an awkward dance, beautiful when others performed it, but she thought herself to be inadequate. She was determined to keep her eyes locked with emerald, but she was still so unsure with her blade, and anyone who gazed upon her could tell that.

"Bring yourself to a resting position." Natsuki said then. "Slowly, ease into it."

"How was I, this time around?" Shizuru asked, now at ease with not having Natsuki's blade following her, as if it could rip her to shreds at any moment.

"That was better." Natsuki, after having put away her own naginata in the weapon storage, something that they kept under the floor of the wagon. "You still have a long way to go though. Don't watch my feet, instead, learn to move with me." Natsuki had taken Nao's words with a grain of salt, but had eventually decided, that yes, Shizuru did deserve to understand her ancestors, and their deadly dances.

Natsuki was admittedly reluctant, and still found herself the same, but, she knew well that Shizuru dearly deserved this part of herself. The northern customs something very precious, even if Natsuki herself, shunned the ways of old, forgotten principals. They spent a little time during lunch, and before bed, toying with the art that so transfixed Shizuru. At first, it wasn't easy, reteaching the things Midori had incorrectly shown, but soon, over time, Shizuru became like water, fluid in her stances, and her motions. A beauty, in and of itself. "Sidesteps will allow you to avoid an attack, once you learn to move quickly...although, it is more often used in reply, a counter footing of sorts."

"Why not simply move forward?" Shizuru questioned. "Isn't it more appropriate to fight head long?"

"Women were not always garbed for battle." Natsuki said then after thinking for a few moments. "Besides, when you have an opponent facing you down, unless they have a sword made for frontal attacks, their more likely to cleave from the side. You're tall, so it wouldn't be wise to strike from above you." Natsuki gave Shizuru a once over, before nodding. "Go back to practicing your steps...I want that side step of yours mastered soon, or else it won't be wise to go on...remember, not to sway at all beyond your hips, let them guide your upper body."

Shizuru nodded, deeply in concentration, in awe for not the first time since Natsuki had begin to take Shizuru's training into her own hands. It was unlike Natsuki, a normally brash person, to so easily and gracefully, wield a weapon so complicated. Though, Shizuru could tell Natsuki loathed holding the very thing between her fingertips. She seemed to curse at it, at least with her eyes, the entire time. It was a blade well taken care of, but never used, and was shorter than Shizuru's own. Still, even when Natsuki coached her from afar, Shizuru could see the hints of annoyance hiding behind the mask of indifference. Shizuru wondered why Natsuki seemed so withdrawn from the art, but thought better than to ask.

Instead, she did as she was told. The instructions a slow perfection, that's what Natsuki demanded, so that's what Natsuki would receive. During the times Natsuki was busy, or times like this drab afternoon, when there was little to do, Nina would observe her training, and even take it over entirely. Nina's methods a little harsher, but still meticulous, just like Natsuki's.

"Soup's on!" Nao called from the wagon. "Come on and eat, before everyone pigs out!"

"Shizuru stay here and keep working on your footwork." Natsuki said then. "I'm going to bring the food to us." Then she turned to Nina, who was perched in a tree near enough to watch over the lands, but far away enough to allow for some privacy. "Keep an eye on her, correct her, if her footing goes wrong."

Nina nodded casually, but she was quite surprised that Natsuki hadn't taken notice of the shadowy figure that had taken interest in them. The object of her attention watching knowingly from across the short river crouched, beseechingly so, behind some foliage. At first, she wanted to alert her group, especially Nao, the one with the most gull to kill the person on the ruthlessness was something needed, if it were a man that was a threat.

It was, indeed, a man's gaze after all. Right away, however, Nina nodded to herself in understanding. That was a bad idea, both out classed, and outsourced. If that's what that person wanted, Nina would be walking into a trap, and Nina knew better than to murder one of Nagi's spies in cold blood...there was another little hint however, that this man was not a threat. Those eyes seemed to call for her, solemnly at that. A regret within them so deep, she felt comforted by them, as if they could do her no harm.

Furthermore, she didn't think it wise to go charging in there, least it be someone she deemed important. "Shizuru." Nina said then, coming to her own conclusion. "Go back to the wagon, and tell Natsuki that I request that you all stay there. I shall be back after I see over some personal matters." Her voice gave it all away, but so did her eyes, that dripped with gleaming interest across the water, but yet, not at her target.

"I'll have Natsuki save you a bowl." Shizuru nodded in agreement, wishing she could pinpoint the location of Nina's interest. there was no such luck to be had. Still, she knew better than to try and play such games, she was merely a greenhorn fighter, and never a scout at best...her place was at the side of people who could protect her, Nina's indication enough of a warning.

She could not, and the way her body casually bristled, told Shizuru that much. If it was eagerness or trepidation, however, crimson eyes were unsure of just what she saw. Shizuru did as she was ordered, leaving Nina behind, going back to the camp that Natsuki had just reached. The confusion of her fellow travelers painted easily and yet, subtly across their faces. They murmured to themselves, especially after Nina crossed the river carefully upon some rocks and moss, getting only her feet wet...they were in a narrow area, and that was why, such a risk was a welcome thing to take.

She trudged away, into the hiding space of where she knew a spy had been posted, beholding her answer.

"Father!" Surely he wasn't by blood, but that was to be expected, being a slave girl. Still, she thought of the man as her father, just as she considered Nao and Natsuki to be her masters, and in some ways, siblings. "Of all the people I might find, it has to be you!" The one person she could not kill, and claim ignorance later...the one man she dare never to her. "This is so convoluted." She growled more to herself than at him.

"Shh." He brought one glove, covered in brown leather to his lips. "Nina-chan, keep it down." He was a tall man when standing at full height, and his hair was decidedly blond, something that was more common in the north among the men, while the women seemed to carry darker tresses. "It isn't as if I like to be kneeling in sludge." He said then, a bit jovially.

At that, she cracked a true smile, and lunged at him. "Father." It had been so long, since she'd felt his embrace, this man who was a loyal spy, and part of Artai's corrupt government, policing the streets with a cold hand, because that's what Nagi wished of him. "Have you been well? Eating enough? Resting properly?" Words were thrown at him in concern, and with everything she tossed, worry at the edges of her voice, the one question she had to ask, but dared not, sat at the tip of her tongue.

He knew though, danced in her eyes. With one gloved hand, he ruffled her hair, a sad smile on his face. "I have, Nina-chan." He replied slowly, letting his words, doleful and pained, answer for her the one thing she didn't want to know. "However, the others have already left, I am the only one tasked to stay behind, until I ultimately bring you all in, an order from Nagi."

"You need to tell them." Nina said then urgently. "You need to warn them."

"I've thought to do that, but what good would it do?" He asked her plainly, seeing the way her eyes, glinted at him with an air of announced. "Nina-chan, be honest, you know the answer to that."

"Even still, as loyal as you are to Nagi...are you not loyal because Artai is to whom you've sworn your oath? Was in not when you were a child yourself, that you took pride in Nao's father? That you wanted to offer your life in service, all the same?" Her questions were hammering into him, and he could only smile at her, with those soft, but cold eyes...so drained, and damaged, by the cruel life he'd learned to live, and, partly to love. "You've got to tell them!" She told him bitterly. "You have to!"

The reason at all he could love such a job, was because of this girl. She had once been bright eyed with joy, and astonishment. Now, those eyes were bright with tears, and he could see that she would tell them, even if he did not. However, more than that, she missed him, and he could see that as well. "I doubt it's wise." He said to her. "I think it will invite trouble...your wards have tempers, and I can not change a thing."

"You will take them captive anyway, those are your orders." Nina knew that could not be thwarted under any circumstance, least the man in front of her be maimed, if not killed. "They have more respect for you than to simply refuse. If they did, Nagi would send forces down, and make a show of Natsuki and Nao once and for all. Then they wouldn't have any chance of changing their bodies back to normal...though, I guess at that point, they wouldn't need it."

"Nagi suspects something more of them." The man told her. "He knows they're up to no good, and he's covered plenty of reasons for why they might want to change their bodies back." His eyes bore into Nina's, but as much as he wanted to lecture her, he knew he couldn't. In the eyes of Artai, she had a sword, and thus, she was an adult. "I know that you know, Nina-chan. Why not just tell me?"

"Because you will report to the ruler." Nina knew that was the case. "So, for your safety, and theirs, I won't tell you anything."

"The charges they will receive, are quite high." He said then, with exasperation. "You don't want to be caught in that mix...a report from you would look auspicious for you. you can't deny that."

"I won't betray Natsuki." Nina told him with a glare. "I can not do that, even if you want me to."

"I want you to stay safe, that is all I want." He told her, imploringly. "Nao and Natsuki are good people when it comes to you, they would want the same."

"That is why I can't betray them!" Nina shouted. "I can't turn my back on them. I wouldn't even think it, and neither would you, if Nao were the ruler!"

"How long have you been following." The voice was unwelcome, but not unexpected. He knew, eventually, that Nina's loud ranting would draw attention to them. Still, the forsaken prince, and the icy princess were two people he dared never to anger. In fact, he always tried to avoid them at all cost. They had no love for him, and very little respect. Of what little they gifted him, came upon him only due to Nina's desire for such a thing, and, with that, he took gratitude.

He knew well who the better ruler might be, if given the chance. He also knew, Nagi wouldn't allow it, despite Nao's entitlement to such a thing.

"Myself? Only since the outskirts of the Black Valley." He reported to Nao, as he bowed down. Even if she was not the ruler, she was the prince, her first name merely a formality that everyone used to shun her very namesake. "Juliet, the forsaken prince." Using a woman's name, denied her the very thing that was required to take the throne. Nao had to be a man, in every sense of the word, and as of now, that was not the case. "An honor, I take it as such, anyway."

"Yeah, right." Nao grumbled. "Nagi sent more of you bastards, where are they?"

"They've returned home." He said then, his eyes to the ground. "You will continue to do the same, unless you want your prized freedom to travel, to be taken away by his orders."

"How long have eyes been watching from the shadows?" Natsuki asked confused...she wasn't under the impression of being watched, but she knew that Nagi's men were nearly perfect at such a skill. "Tell me that, Sergay."

"After you left Artai." He licked his lips. "You visited many areas that were abandoned, and those areas, are places that Nagi considers his territory." He looked up to her then, standing, to give a better report. It was not only that, he only had to show so much respect, if little at all. More, would likely be a dangerous inquisition on more levels than he cared to think about. "Of course, the scouts found you, and reported your whereabouts. Then, he ordered troops to follow you...in the Black Valley, you took interest in several people, and, the troopers noticed."

"Of the woman who's with us?" Nao asked then, a bit coldly. "Who does she belong to?"

"Natsuki." Sergay answered. "We are not blind, and the grand duke, well let's just say he knows."

"Shit!" Natsuki hissed, biting her lip. "Your orders?"

"There were many, but my own were very direct." He began carefully. "I was to apprehend a few key witnesses, and I was to follow you, reporting in with letters of your exploits. I watered down what I could." He said then, in a way to make himself seem not as traitorous as he felt, knowing he would be causing endless pain with his actions, and he knew some of whom he would hurt, deserved no such action. "However, there were some things I simply couldn't afford to do the same with, and I had to tell him."

"Come on then." Natsuki growled. "You're coming back to camp with us." She couldn't very well let him send any more letters without seeing them first.

"What about Shizuru?" Nao said then, knowing well of what Natsuki was thinking, but it didn't ease the fact that the woman would not be prepared for this. "Do you think he can be trusted around a woman such as her?"

"She should hear this too." Natsuki said then, her anger was cold, and lacing her voice thickly, in a defeated way. "You know how Nagi works...the way he thinks." Then she bit her lip, and turned back to Sergay. "What did he do in the Black Valley?" At that, Sergay's eyes hit the ground, and she knew.

Even if she hadn't, his words were damning enough. "Grand Duke Nagi, he was not there." Sergay said slowly. "He merely gave orders, and we followed them...to the letter."

"Sergay Wong, what the fuck did you do!" Natsuki roared, and that, everyone else came running.

The murderous gleam in her eyes, the true anger that burned from them, were something monstrous, and it was the only thing Nao could do to shield Nina's eyes from view. The long letter opener Natsuki kept on her form was already in his shoulder, pinning him to a tree, but with her gun at his chest, Nao knew not to get in the way.

"Don't kill him." Nao murmured, as she saw Shizuru entered the thicket. "It isn't worth it it kill him."


	34. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

"Answer me, you twisted son of a bitch..." Natsuki growled low in her throat, her voice shaking from the pure, raw fury, that slipped out from between clenched teeth. "What in the bloody hell, did you do in Black Valley." With a letter opener jammed into his shoulder piercing him deep, and her gun at his chest, she gave him no room to refuse statements. "Tell me now!" She shook him roughly, uncaring that the back of his head smacked the back of the tree with each rattle of his collar. "Tell me, or I'll crush your throat."

"T-there were orders to f-follow you." He said then, his voice hushed, and dripping in pain. "I-into the Bla-black Va-valley." He swallowed the blood off of his tongue, and breathed heavily. "So, w-we did." He said, as if that would be enough, and yet, knowing he was merely waiting for more rage to wash over him. She was unmoving though, as if to give him time, something he needed, his head throbbing in pain, and his shoulder crying red, though he himself had no tears in which to shed. "You know the punishments." He swallowed again to steady his voice. "W-what w-we found." He began to cough, and she slapped him roughly, causing him to spit blood.

The action was merely to clear his airway, a kindness, even in her fury. She could have let him drown from within. "I know what you found." Natsuki said mercilessly. "What did you do about it?"

"Reported to Nagi." He said, shaken. "Waited t-t-to receive words from him."

"Do you want me to shoot you instead?" Natsuki growled low again. "Because that can be accomplished."

"You c-can't kill me." He told her, pulling the letter opener from his shoulder. "If you did, you'd be a dead woman walking." The words lacked venom, but were still filled with their own brand of truth. "I-Is the i-ic-cy princess so afraid of the chains that bind her t-to her f-fa-te?"

Natsuki smiled, the smirk a twisted mirth. "Oh, you are a bastard." She told him then, letting him go, but only because she knew better than to kill the messenger. "And in all of these years, Nina is the only thing that's saved you." It wasn't his fault, she knew that, but it didn't ease her hatred of him any less. "But even that has a line, and you're about to cross it." Shizuru had come to her side immediately, but Natsuki backed away from the woman who's eyes were the color the very thing she wished to spill. "Don't touch me, Shizuru." She said with an empty voice. "Never in front of this prick." She spat at him, before stepping away a few steps. "He might report that too."

"Your grave has already been dug." He told her, leaning heavily on the tree, his hand over his seeping wound. "Anything I say won't change."

"Hush, you belligerent pig of a man!" Shizuru finally told him sternly, her shoulders square, her eyes glaring daggers at him. "Infuriating those who are already high strung will get you nowhere."

"Oh, but that's where your wrong, Princess." Nao used the word was a venom...she knew now...understanding crept over her. "Oh, Natsuki, I'm sorry." She sneered at that horrific discovery, and then, at the injured man. "It'll get the job done...after all, Nagi has his eye on us."

"Father, stop this." Nina begged. "Don't feed the fire, it'll be bad enough once we arrive in Artai. You know that to be true."

"I do Ni-nina-chan." He told her, but regret was no longer with him. "I understand perf-perfectly...however, I am still the man that I am. I will n-no-tt turn my back on the kingdom I so love..."

"Even if that ruler is not the intended one." Natsuki asked him. "You know that place belongs to Nao."

He leveled his eyes at Natsuki, feeling all of the contempt in the world for her, knowing why Nina was no longer dutifully waiting her master to come home. He knew why she was traded off...he knew everything, and it sickened him. "Na-Nat-suki, may your homeland drowned in the bla-blac-k-ness that so covers it." He coughed again as she rid him of more blood from his throat. "I dearly wish, that you follow doom as well."

At that, the hand that was holding her gun raised up into the air, pointing levelly at him. "Take those words back." It was an order.

"Stop." Shizuru turned. "Don't do it." Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the tortured look in Nina's eyes. "Nina's watching." She told Natsuki softly. "You can't do it now, that would be barbaric."

"If you don't want her watching this, then get her out of here." Natsuki said, still quite unsure of what exactly she wanted to do. "You shouldn't be here either."

"I won't leave." Shizuru said then, putting her hand over Natsuki's arm. "Put the gun down."

Natsuki was weighing both sides of her coin carefully. "Like hell." She said then. "You want to know what Artai is like?" Natsuki growled lowly. "Look at him, what he's done...look at everyone here, Shizuru." Natsuki could feel it. The twisted look in the eyes of a man who waited for judgment. The tortured look in Nina's eyes, knowing there was nothing she could do, least her actions make everything worse. Nao's inability to act one way or the other, the seething hope that the man would die was something Nao wanted as well, hating him. "Look at the monsters you follow...the fighters you envy. Do you really want to become this sort of person, like us?"

"Strong words, Natsuki." Even Midori, who watched on intently, did so with a measured look on her face. "Truth though, if one were to observe only this. It's too bad I can't let you do it." In a flurry of action, haste at the forefront of her calculations, she dove at Natsuki, the gun sending off a bullet as Natsuki crashed onto the ground. "No!" The redhead was straddling her, and she pressed a cloth filled with a scent into Natsuki's face. "I said no! Damn you!"

Natsuki's screams were muffled, a power struggle was one she would not win as an intoxication filled her lungs. She fought hard against it, seeking precious air, but even that didn't come to her call.

Dogging one flying fist, but not missing the other, it slammed into the side of her head forcefully. Midori curse under her breath. "You're lucky that I like you." She winced, knowing the words would go by without being heard. Her hand firmly over Natsuki's face ensured the strong smell did it's job. While she did this, she gave orders, regarding the battered and bleeding man. He would not survive in this cold unattended. If they left him, he would die. Midori considered doing just that. "Tie him up, gag him, frisk him, and put him in the wagon...and then dress his wounds...make sure you drain his lungs." Midori ordered, and Nina was glad to do just that, knowing Midori was doing this out of charity...

Nao noticed it too. "Get out of here." Nao said then to Shizuru. "It's going to be bad when she wakes up."

"She just tried to..." Shizuru shook her head, thinking that she'd misunderstood. "She tried to kill him." It was her only thought, and even then, it seemed not quite right. "In cold blood at that."

"Go back to the wagon." Nao said then as she turned to face Shizuru, placing her hands on Shizuru's shoulders. "We will look after Natsuki, but you should not be here, not when she wakes up."

"I will not leave her side." Shizuru said then, watching as Nina and Arika helped the man to stand before carrying him away. "No matter what she's done, I will not leave her."

"Natsuki almost killed that man." Nao said then, not mincing words. "She nearly did it because of you...because of the Black Valley." She licked her lips, yes, she knew her cousin well. "We now have reason to believe threats have been placed on you, and when Natsuki wakes up, she will be in a terrible state of mind. It would be best, for both you and Natsuki, if you didn't witness it."

"But I will see it, won't I, Nao?" Shizuru questioned then, coldly, and filled with worry. "You will have to go to Artai, this isn't over...and eventually, I will see it." It was a statement drenched in it's own frozen fury, but it wasn't tempered to weather the storm, the well of emotions were something far more fragile. "So, I'll just have to ask you...what's worse?" Shizuru honestly wanted to know. "Seeing it now, or glimpsing it in the shadows, in a place that can only be considered hell upon this earth?"

The stare down lasted long enough that Midori finally sighed deeply, pulling both combatants from their twisted gazes.

"You're right." Midori said then softly in Shizuru's direction. "You will be subject to things that are beyond our control." However, Midori had to relent to Nao's point as well...the situation was thorny, and full of things Midori wanted not a single part to play. She knew better of where she stood, and she too, was in the thick of it. "Nao's right though, you have bigger concerns if what that man says is true." With ease that her status spoke of, Midori pulled an unconscious Natsuki to her feet, and hoisted the girl so that she could support her. "I'll look after Natsuki until she wakes up."

Nao cursed in a string of invectives, finally sighing. "Come with me." Nao ordered with gritted teeth. "Someone needs to put that pompous bastard in his place."

"You think you'll be the one to do it, with so much bluster? You should calm down." Shizuru followed behind the raging storm that was tingeing cloudy hues within lime green eyes. "What do you believe he's done? I want to know."

"Nagi, he's known for holding things over people's heads." Nao bit out as then went back across the river on a rock covered passage. It was slippy, but better than swimming. "My head, Natsuki's head...even Nina's." Nao told Shizuru as she helped the woman across. "Now, he'll do the same to you...anything he deems precious, he'll rip it away, just so he can watch you squirm."

"Even so, that reality being what it is does no condone hurting others. That man didn't do anything besides follow orders. If murdering Nagi is your wish, I don't have the heart to stop you, but that man in the wagon? You'll cast your fury at him too? You are a cruel person, if that's the case." Shizuru told Nao. "You should give him at least some respite first...for Nina's sake, even if not your own."

Nao scowled, and nodded. "After Natsuki wakes up then, I'll let her have another go at him instead..."

…

The water rushed past her ears. The stream was freezing, and she knew it was that icy water that was cooling her head now, calming her pain. She wanted to become frozen like the lake, so she wouldn't hear the fighting anymore. It was about her, she knew, but she couldn't even find the strength to look up from the slippery rock she sat on. The snow was a white glitter, and she wanted to melt into the purity. Even so, her world was nothing but a muddy, murky reality she couldn't swim on her own.

She could hear it, even if she wanted to pretend otherwise.

"You know what will happen if you kill me." Sergay was under interrogation in front of the fire. "Though in truth, even if I die here today, I'm still a free man." His words were pained, but the man had cheated death once in a fit of luck. "That's more than I can say for you." Shizuru doubted that anyone would give him yet another chance, Not even Nina who left in search of solace, she couldn't bear witness to any more painful sights. "You will always be chained down by Nagi, never forget just who you are."

"You make things so easy." Natsuki said then holstering her gun even though she wanted to just pull the trigger instead. "You and your death wish." The muttered words were hard to hear, strained between her teeth. "There isn't any point, even I know that." She licked her lips then, studying him, as she found herself leaning back into a dead stump of a tree, and she let herself collapse into it. "So tell me, what does Nagi want with Shizuru?"

"I wasn't told that much." The man replied, cursing at the small droplets of blood that trickled off of him even still. His wounds seeped. "Though if I had to guess, you know just as well as I do, that girl isn't normal." He watched Shizuru's saddened form, seeking any signs of denial, and found none. "Nagi needs a power like hers. A woman like her...quite a prize, isn't it?"

"I wouldn't let him." Shizuru told the man before her, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. "Besides, if he were to ever harm me, the consequences would be dire. Surely he would know that...it would be fruitless to assume I'd help him willingly."

"Even so, you prove useful." Sergay told her. "Don't underestimate Nagi." He crossed his arms then, knowing most were unable to understand the subtleties of Nagi's wicked nature, thinking him a calculating bruit at best...but that was just the start of his accomplishments, the iceberg far deeper. "Furthermore, don't underestimate the largest country of war to date." He closed his eyes, the pain in his chest wouldn't quit. It hurt with every spoken work, and bated breath. "Nagi may be young, but he is his father's son."

"Like a lamb to the slaughter." Nao understood very well what Nagi's intentions could entail. "Natsuki, kill Sergay." Nao told her without hesitation, understanding what it meant, but urging it anyway. "Kill him and retreat. Take Shizuru and never return to Artai." Her lime green eyes told more than her voice, which was beyond the chill of any cold winter, and hotter than any mere fire. "I'll take the blame."

"If I do that, you know what will happen." Natsuki told Nao then. "You do realize you'll be executed, don't you?" Emerald eyes found themselves stuck in a stare down with lime green. "That's a sacrifice you will not make."

"He has Mai." Shizuru told them, she'd put together the clues well enough. "Likely her brother, and who knows, maybe there are others." She felt guilty, her friends were in danger. "Maybe, even all of the women in the brothel were taken too." All because of her...and Natsuki...and one single night...a chance meeting turned to destiny. "Natsuki said she would fight for her people...if this is true, we don't have any other choice. A ruler needs to be there to protect her people...and this journey will be for naught if they're killed."

"Spoken like a true princess." The man before her laughed brokenly, spluttering the entire time, clutching at his bandages as he did so. "Fallen from the heavens though she may be."

"Regardless of who she is, Shizuru is correct." Midori announced. "Aswad will not tolerate our old home to be used and abused for Nagi's reasons." She looked over to Natsuki. "You have able bodied allies in the event of a war, you have my promise to oversee your people if you are unable." Midori told Natsuki then. "The only thing you've got to lose is your own life, and that is already at the mercy of fate..."

"Your question doesn't need an answer, Midori." Natsuki said then, calm, but uneasy. "If I didn't go to Artai, I would stand less a chance anyway...we're going, fate be damned."


	35. Nomad's Log: The War Nation, Artai Principality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That's right! It's a Nomad's Log chapter...that means sit tight, because you'll be getting a chapter update soon.
> 
> I don't own Mai HiME, Mai Otome.

Nomad's Log:  
The War Nation, Artai Principality

The hunting grounds will lead north bound. You really have no other option but to follow the trails that lay before you...if you don't you'll get lost.

Go north, the place is like a bowl, and the only way to get out is to go up. If you can survive the harsh climate, more power to you, but that still doesn't mean you have the blood of Artai's people. In fact, any nomad could tell you, traveler, to presume Artai welcomes visitors with open arms is to welcome your very death. Artai is of hive-minded people, meaning they follow the person in power, least they be killed for treason. It isn't with honor, that the person in power is to respected.

No, they do it out of fear and a sense of self-preservation.

You see, traveler, it would be wise to understand the history of Artai's people. We could trace back to many wars caused by Artai, but, I fear that would be a difficult thing to take at face value. Instead of boring you with wartime trivialities, I shall adhere to simple history that is well known among the common folk. It is a past laced with blood, venom, and seething hatred. Recall my old passages, they will serve you well.

Back when there was one unified populous, Artai was apart that land. When it split up, it was clear that the people would scatter. Now you'll need to understand, it wasn't an easy thing. One of the council members, a strong warrior who liked bloodshed led a faction of like minded people into the mountaintops...that's where Artai's story begins.

The Warrior's family name was De' Atrai.

The Principality started as a separatist province in the north, but it quickly grew. Nao's bloodline, and Nagi's as well, can be traced back into those days. In any case, the province quickly gained power and overtook many small towns. Those who followed the leadership of the royal family, De' Artai, -where the name of the principality stems from-, were spared and welcomed to join in battle. Those who did not wish to fight were slain.

It is a well known fact, that the first ruler, De' Artai, had a problem infidelity.

The man ended up with several wives...and thus countless children. It is also well known, that of his brood, only two sons survived the many territorial disputes. These sons married, and one kept the family name, and the other shunned it completely, taking his wife's family name instead. That brings us to the reality of today. There are two family names that take and give power based on the gender of the first born child.

Those families are Zhang and Artai...

I warn travelers often, the north is dangerous, and not only because of the weather. Artai is unlike most nations, because it is ruthless...Artai loves bloodshed. Its current ruler is little more than a filthy liar, who seeks destruction for everything around him. Nagi Dai Artai...a loathsome man, really...though he's more of a child than a anything. He has one simple view...the world should live to his expectations...and he, should never conform to theirs. That's his way of life. He appears outwardly to be a kind, if not odd young man, but that is his deception, and he plays the part well. Take heed, if you go north, do not cross him, don't even look at him.

Keep your head down and simply pass by...if you choose to stay, traveler, do not take my words with embitterment. It is merely fact.

In any case, the north is a fortress all on it's own. If you want to get to the main city, you'll need walk the long distance that seems to go on endlessly. Artai has many small towns nestled along the way. They're tiny, and the people aren't trusting of newcomers. They have no reason to, and to be honest, they can't afford generosity, the cold is simply too harsh. You'd be hard pressed to make friends, with necessities as hard to come by as they are. You must understand, those who live in those little towns are poachers, or gatherers.

They have no need to feed another hungry mouth, so unless you have a name, keep to yourself and don't ask for much.

There are places to rest, warmth in which to find...however, much like that of Romulus and Remus, you'll be offered nothing without a worthy trade. In Artai, you're useless without coin. They are a strong nation, so unless you can appeal to the needs of a huntsman, or his family...there isn't any need for you. Still, the people of Artai are nothing, if not extravagant. They enjoy wealth, and plenty of it. The rich enjoy life, warmth, and all of the comforts one could imagine...even hot springs.

As with any city, at least one as long living as Artai, it is not completely prosperous.

There are many without jobs, food, and lodgings. These people suffer, and they're offered no solace. It isn't as if those in power and authority can't help...it is that they choose not to do so. There is no shortage of funds, I know this because my pockets are lined with riches beyond comprehension, and I am merely one person. Nao also has a wallet both wide and deep, but even if what we keep in our purse wasn't enough, our coffers are by no means limited. Mine alone could easily feed many, but you see, Artai isn't the kind of place to gift such kindness. A shame really, but, that's how it is.

At any traveler, though I need not warn you of this, take great heed.

Artai is a country of war. They love the thick of battle...some say it is the only way to stay truly alive. Think not of the nomads, the proud people that they are...no...think more about the ruthlessness of ruler who has an unquenchable thirst for power. If he sees something he wants, he takes it, like a spoiled child. He has too much power, and anything in his path becomes at his mercy. Artai's military is confoundedly strong, a damnable thing, really, but those men march into the bowels of hell known as war.

They'll do it again too, because Nagi is skilled, and they would follow him...death a freedom in Artai.

It is a travesty, really, because Nagi does not belong on the throne...As I said before, there are two families who hold the rights...and those rights are based on the first born male...thus, even among blood, Artai's leadership is nothing, if not competitive.

Juliet Nao Zhang was the first, and only child birthed by the nobility that once ruled. Because of the illness that sweeps the land, Nao's body is not entirely that of a man, and that is why she can not take her rightful place. Her first name, that of a woman's was a gift from her father...not a scorn. He wanted Nao to have a peaceful life, a happy one. Being seen as a woman meant no war, no suffering, because a man would watch over her...however, Nao's heart was born with the will of a man, the desire to lead her people...if she ever does find the elusive cure to her predicament, Nao will become the new ruler...Nagi would not be able to keep his place.

Nao is after all, the first born...she is also vicious in her own ways.

The people are loyal to Nagi out of fear...they're loyal to Nao due to the hope they have...either way...Artai, and Nagi are not to be underestimated. It would be a grave mistake, and one best avoided. If you travel, go armed to teeth. If you bring gifts, shower coins. If you look to enlist, your feet will never find rest as they march to Nagi's war drums. Your coffers will be filled, but, the sacrifice is a heavy one. The women will pine for their lost lovers, and the dead will find rest in the snow...so if you search for solace, you'll not find it here.

Lastly traveler, if you come to Artai...and I do hope that you won't, realize the snow may be white, but the ground is little more than a river laced with blood.


	36. 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We're now in the upper boarders known as Artai...this arc is a long one...so be prepared to see about ten chapters before you're next nomad's log and new area...a lot to cover in this arc.
> 
> I don't own Mai HiME/ Mai Otome.

It was not only taxing on the body, traveling to Artai was taxing on the soul too.

They moved onward in a quiet so deafening that the snow crunching underfoot made them all feel unbearably lonely. The cold was doing horrible things to Natsuki's scar infested body. She was used to the dampness, used to the cold, and she ignored the feeling of what might be frostbite licking her toes. It wasn't the time to worry about that...though she wondered if she should be at least a bit concerned.

Prospects were beginning to feel grim. She had one very ill man, an entire host of mouths to feed. There was not nearly enough supplies to go around, another bothersome truth. She was thankful Midori was there, least they all end up dead, and she relinquished control of leading the way.

Natsuki didn't want to admit it, but she was not the pathfinder Midori was. She couldn't keep her head above the murky undertow of anger that bubbled within, and she wished to see that man die in ways so wrong, Natsuki feared her sanity was going. Part of her, the ill part of her, knew what it was like to be completely reliant on another. Due to that, she felt sorry for him. Still, she couldn't help her bitterness. Another side of herself wanted to kick him until he no longer breathed. Her conflict was not one that she endured alone.

Nao also felt the same. Still, as she walked beside Natsuki, the snow a hard thing to cross by foot, she couldn't help but look into those emerald eyes. "You should comfort that poor woman of yours." Nao said quietly. "I'm sure she's worried, if not blaming herself for what she knew nothing of." Shizuru was the most troubled by the earlier events, rightfully so. Even Nina had put the ill-fated sight behind her, knowing it was to be expected, if nothing else. Natsuki's emotion was a venom among them...and Nao was the only one how knew of the cure. "She has never seen you wish so dearly for man's blood to be drained from him like a river."

"She can not blame me." Natsuki said then, a bit harsher than she intended. "She knows this path may be filled with gore."

"To know and to see, those are different." Nao fired back. "Just as Erstin fell to her knees, crying the first time she saw me take a life...Shizuru is also troubled by your hands too." The was no solace, no warmth in the north. Those who visited often knew that. "You should comfort her now, whilst you can...you know she will find none otherwise. I'd hate to think you're so unfeeling that you would allow her to stay bottled up in a memories she'd best let pass."

"Yeah...I guess you're right." Natsuki had felt that way often. "I just don't know what to say." Each step closer to Artai was one step further into a blackened void made only for tortured souls. "Or even how to say it." She slowed down, falling back until she was walking side by side with Shizuru's horse. There was a tense recoil in the air, and neither one of them said anything.

They walked, together and yet so far apart. Natsuki had to be the first one, but she wondered what she could offer in place of her anger. "The cold changes me." Her voice was withdrawn, pulled away from her heart for her own peace of mind. "I become a killer." It was befitting, that she show Shizuru her darker side. "I become like everyone in Artai...we see war, we make war, we bathe in the carnage afterward."

"You are the monster you say you are." Shizuru told her softly. "You play a villain so crude, I forgot who you were, for a moment...I thought you would rip him to shreds with your bare hands." Still, her words were not uninviting. "We are both creatures that should not exist, Natsuki, but we do." She licked her chapping lips, a shiver down her spine. "We are fit for little more than execution, and yet we live."

"We do." Natsuki wondered why sometimes. "Even when we should not." The night would fall soon, and the sun screamed in the sky, like the fire that it was. "Still, even as a monster, I'd rather live than die."

Shizuru nodded, her lips were in a thin line, she found her words were a difficulty and they wouldn't spill like a river, despite her greatest efforts. "Do not kill purely out of anger, that is all I ask." She was angry too, and she cradled, like the soft coldness that it was. "..but even if you do, I wouldn't have any right to judge you." She became stern then, her eyes gazing out into the distance. "There were several moments I wished him dead as well...so, I must also be a monster too."

"That's the price you pay." Natsuki told her, watching the puffs of air waft from her lips. "It is alright, because in the end, that too is justifiable." It didn't offer any comfort, but the snow that drifted down from the sky seemed as if they were frozen tears. "I don't know what you expect to find, or what you assume may happen in Artai." Still, Natsuki could see the boarder. "I don't want you to hate me Shizuru, but my past is here. All of it." Her eyes fell to Nao, who's lime colored eyes found foreboding in the worst of places. One glance at Midori, and Natsuki knew the woman had stopped thinking at all, leaning on pure instinct. Nina was quiet, pensive as ever, and Sergay could hardly breath clearly. "You've only seen trickles of it, Shizuru. Are you sure that you'd like to see it clearly?"

"Perhaps, although if such a thing is left to be decided by my hand, I may end up seeing the worst." It was a pang Shizuru was willing to deal with. "Could you bear for me to see what you've dared not say?"

"It isn't that I don't want to say it." Natsuki murmured quietly. "It's that my words would mean very little." She wanted to get lost in it...the snow, they sky, the sun...she wanted to burn like a frozen fire, shining brightly. "Artai is a beautiful city, but it's huge...and that beauty is not something easily found...I doubt an outsider could see the horrific truth that seems laced in the outward purity that it has."

…

A long journey north bound led them to a village late into the night. They dared not rest, but, they were not cruel people either.

They didn't want to give away their location, but they couldn't harbor an ill man any longer. "Don't drop him." Natsuki muttered, seeing the contempt in Nao's eyes.

"This selfish bastard weighs a ton." She had been griping for a while.

"Gently, Nao...you don't want to jostle the poor man." Midori whispered as she held his resting head carefully. He was drugged heavily with one of her concoctions, and she knew he would sleep soundly for a while. Natsuki and Nao were helping to carry him, while Nina held his belongings in her arms. "Lay him down carefully, we don't want them to think he was poorly taken care of."

"Are you sure about this?" Nao hissed. "They'll know somethings going on."

Natsuki watched Sergay, his breathing hard to come by. "He won't survive without a doctor." While it was the truth, Natsuki knew the scarification of her own well being would be the price to save his life. "We can't leave him in the snow either."

"I don't see why not." Nao sighed, and though most of their group agreed, she regretted saying it when she saw the pained look in Nina's eyes. "We're risking ourselves further, sticking our necks out there for a person like him. This is just a bad idea anyway you look at it."

They set down his sleeping form, and emerald eyes burn into him, angry, but resolute. "Maybe, but I'm not so much of a coward that I'd just let him die." Natsuki told them as she backed away from him. "Besides, we need to deal with this while the others are still asleep." She was staying in the shadows. "We need to decide now, are we going up into the deepest area of the north, or travel by outposts."

"I would suggest outposts." Midori said quietly. "The principality is large, and takes over the north when an iron blade that drinks blood." She crossed her arms, watching as Nina tended to the man one final time before knocking on the door to the tavern, and then running away to their hiding place behind some large crates. "I doubt our companions can deal with the bitterness we've now entered." The owner came out, noticing Sergay immediately, and called for help. It wasn't long before the ill man was taken inside and that door slammed closed. "At least we're down one burden."

"You can still knock on the door and go with them." Natsuki told the young girl. "You would not betray me by doing so, Nina."

"I can't go." Nina murmured. "I'd be questioned, and besides, you've already done more than I could ever ask of you."

Midori nodded, patting the young warrior on the back. "You are very wise, Nina. Wise and strong." Midori could tell, however, that the girl felt weak beyond comprehension. She couldn't offer more solace, they had to turn to the matter at hand. "The snowfall here is deep, isn't it? We'd be hard pressed to trudge through untraveled grounds."

"That's true." Natsuki nodded, sighing as she pulled out one of her log books. "Even so, I'd hate to think that by taking obvious routes, that we might be walking into a trap." She considered the morbid ideals of this icy place. "Nagi's smart, and word travels to him quickly." She refused to call this icy abyss home. "It won't be long, he has a lot of followers."

"Like flies to stagnant horseshit." Nao muttered, her agreement forthcoming. "We'd be found quickly, especially now that Sergay has found himself in safe hands." She shrugged, a bit annoyed. "Now we don't even have him as collateral."

"Not that his life would help us." Natsuki groused. "Think about it, Nagi would just watch Sergay die a slow death...then, for good measure, he's blame us after...and at that point, we would be guilty."

"If we go north, beyond the outposts, there's nothing there." Nina said, almost confused. "We would be going out of our way for nothing...why avoid the inevitable?"

"Not exactly the case, though it's easy to assume." Nao sighed. "Just as Windbloom has protected archives, so does Artai...don't forget that." She paced, her footfalls crunching as she walked back and forth. "If we go northbound, we can avoid Nagi, and check the affairs of the smaller towns...maybe we can find someone to shelter us for a while."

"No point in that." Natsuki hated to think it, but there was an unsteady truth to it. "If Nagi wants us, he'll uplift whatever he sees fit...besides, the sooner we get to the main city, the sooner I can make sure Shizuru's friends are alright."

"Damn." Nao murmured. "There's is nothing I can do about that. No matter what we do now, we're at grave risk, if anyone else sees us we may have to kill on sight...we have to assume Nagi knows the worst, and if that's the case, I can't protect any of us from the hell we will face." She leaned on the logs that had been cut for firewood. "Nina, promise me, you will not defend us with your blade...Nagi has use for you...so it would be best if you didn't defy him."

"I can't do that." Nina told Nao. "I refuse to just sit and watch."

"If we defy Nagi, we do it together." That voice was troublesome and unwelcome for such a meeting.

"Shizuru!" It was a heated whisper at Natsuki's whim. "When did you get here?"

"She was following us the entire time." Midori sighed, unimpressed. "Didn't you notice?"

"Damn it." Natsuki sighed shaking her head. "Shizuru, this isn't a game. We're talking about angering a ruler who has no concept of decency."

"I'm not playing, Natsuki." Shizuru sighed, standing behind Nina. "I don't particularly care what awaits us, doom or otherwise." Shizuru said quietly. "You will not think that just because you are the most capable, that you may face him on your own. You shall not leave us behind, nor will you try to protect us out of some sense of duty." At that, she looked down at Nina. "And you...you shall not protect her as a servant, you will stand shoulder to shoulder with her as a friend."

"Spoken like a warrior." Midori nodded. "I grow tired, but even so, I will never be so weak that I can't stand at all...we leave at daybreak for Artai's central city. To hell with it, we shall be condemned at our own hands...even so, it sounds fun."

"What is it with nomads?" Nao grumbled. "Fine, have it your way...but don't say I didn't try to protect us."


	37. 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

**Chapter 31**

They had to wait out a rather unpleasant snowstorm. With the clouds blocking the sun, and the fog blanketing the land, they couldn't continue in the rough terrain. that was fine, Natsuki hadn't minded. She had required the space to cool off and collect her warring emotions, but the only thing she wanted was to hold Shizuru in her arms. To kiss her, and feel warm again...the chill was doing more than numbing her fingers.

It was beginning to dull her soul too, and Natsuki hated that.

In a poor attempt to reminder herself this was a passing phase, and that this snowy land would not force her meet her demise, she began to fantasize. It was innocent at first, but then, somehow ruling her country turned into something she couldn't do alone...Shizuru came into the picture, and what had once been a very simple, happy fantasy turned dark with need...

Need that made her ache. she fumbled with her leathers, untying the strings and cursing the snaps that were confining her. She had to make this quick... had to make her lustful mind behave, but there was only one way for her to do that...and she had been without Shizuru's touch for so long. "Fuck." She groused lowly when the icy cold breeze made her hiss in pain...it was only another reminder of how lonely she was.

Her cock throbbed as she gripped it in her palm, stroking her length slowly, with firm precision. It wasn't enough anymore, and she sighed, her wildest dreams were getting the best of her...then again, they always seemed to, especially when she wasn't being granted the thing she wished for most. She could see it now, envisioned it in the back of her mind...living a normal life, having a happy little place to call her own, and having Shizuru there, at her side...it only fanned the fuel of her desire now, knowing she'd been keeping Shizuru distance based on mutual benefit. It didn't help, of course, that they couldn't risk any further exposure...

Not that it would matter much if what Sergay told them to be true.

Defeated, she sighed, gripping her cock just a little tighter, clenching her eyes shut, trying to recall what those velvety folds felt like. She needed to feel Shizuru's soft breasts pressing into her...required those womanly folds to envelop her once more, knowing that Shizuru made only the sweetest of sounds when Natsuki kissed her in the most intimate of places...it was all the more gratifying if the taste lingered, mixing with the other passions that surely befell any night that they shared carnal desire.

"God damn it." Natsuki growled...she missed having the embrace, wishing that someone, someplace, would entwine their fingers into her midnight tresses and tug her long mane in a pleading way...just as Shizuru did, when Natsuki played for too long. She was lonely, she was angry, and most of all, she was completely at her wits end. She opened her eyes and sighed another shaky sigh...now she knew she was hallucinating...she should smell the scent of oil extracted from a flower...a scent Shizuru often used, and when she looked over to the side, she saw why. "Hey..." It was all Natsuki could manage to force out between her quaking lips.

The hunger lingered in Shizuru's eyes, seeing Natsuki's arousal stiffly at attention, heated breaths of air enough of an exchange, as Shizuru leaned heavily against the tree, averting her gaze. "I was wondering where you went off to." Shizuru murmured quietly. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Natsuki husked deeply. It was awkward, knowing that Shizuru was right there, within arms reach, and yet, still so far away. She tried to compose herself, but that was a hard thing to do when ones own leathers were open for anyone who dared to look. "Don't worry about it." She said, trying not to cringe as she stuffed her painful arousal back in her leathers. She didn't have the heart to beg for release, not now...not when they were so close to a place that could only be a frozen hell.

Painfully, she resigned herself to the truth, she would find no solace here in the cold and snowy north. She leaned into the tree, the bark cut into her back painfully, but she couldn't be bothered by it...she missed the warmth of another person, and when she looked up at the sky, all she saw was muted tones speaking of a storm. "We're going to head strait into the main city of Artai." Natsuki murmured then, scowling as she thought of all that awaited her. "If we do that, we know well enough that Nagi wouldn't cause a scene, though, we'll have to cooperate with his men." She looked over to the crimson eyed woman. "Nao and I will do what the guards say upon arrival, you do the same, regardless of their orders."

It was then that Shizuru looked up pensively from the snow that littered the ground. "Where is Nao?" She'd been gone all morning, and had taken a horse with her.

"You really want to know?" Natsuki grabbed her hand, and led her through the snowy path until they were standing on a rock that overlooked the outpost they had passed by before. "She's down there." Natsuki pointed to a cluster of people, standing behind thick linens. Nao was talking to the women as they beat long strips of bedding with metal rods. "I hate this place. I don't want anything to do with it, but this Nao's home, her place to belong, Shizuru...it's her rightful kingdom..." Nao didn't look it from this distance, but Natsuki could tell she was at ease. "She has friends and loyalists scattered all through Artai..."

"Aren't you the same?" Shizuru asked then. "You are betrothed after all."

At that, Natsuki laughed a little bitterly. "You're catching on." Still, it was a sight to behold, even if it was a place that was filled with unhappy memories. "Nao's a bit of a loner, so she doesn't like the big city." A small outpost, well that was another story. "She can be vicious...and in that way, she's not unlike Nagi...they're able to have this unforgiving nature to them...unyielding to laws around them, or principles they don't agree with..." Natsuki just shrugged. "Nao is kinder than Nagi, but, at the same time, she's willing to instigate a good fight. That's a quality found in abundance here...they give me respect, and their devotion, because Nao expects it. Nao's a fitting ruler in that, even as she is, the people know how it goes...they don't question her."

"What about her cousin?" That question lit a vague darkness in Natsuki's eyes, and wilted the smile on Natsuki's face.

"The people answer to him, Shizuru...they fear him, and they'll do as he orders." Natsuki backed away from the scene, not wanting to linger, nor draw attention to herself. "Even so, Nao's bloodline demands respect, and if she ever did take the throne, they know it behooves them if she sees them favorably." It was complex, and Natsuki hated thinking about the politics. "Gotta understand, if Nao were to take the throne, the power she would have over her people would be insane...she could kill anyone she wants, torture them, just like Nagi does...and even if she wouldn't, do you think the citizens would risk that, regardless?"

Shizuru shook her head. "I suppose not."

The admittance was uneasy...just like the snow that seemed to fall from the sky, a foreboding warning.

…

Down time was only a way to linger, so they didn't stay idle very long. They continued on their path when the sky was clear enough to ensure a safe travel. There was a quiet discussion among the group, occasionally speaking of a landmark, but other than that, idle banter found no place among them. The paths were covered with muddy colored ground where the snow had melted from the passers by.

Footprints were like glue, and the trail was long, but then, a large fortress wall came into view. Carved from the finest stone, it loomed over the area, snipers held guns, peering through their scopes...still there was no entrance in sight. Natsuki and Nao knew, such a place was tucked away, no one dared to argue the power Artai had.

The brick seemed to collect icicles, and they loomed wherever they could cling, sharp and deadly. Eventually, they reached a section of brick that was open on one end, a marketplace for traders, and there were wagons everywhere. "This is where we need to part ways." Natsuki said as she nodded to Midori. "Can you look after them?"

Midori nodded, putting a hand on Mashiro to guide her away from the prying eyes that were both unfriendly, and unsafe. The people who loved here were no stranger to the sight, yet even so, they gawked, knowing who had come back home. "You have my word, my blade, and my blood." She looked to Nina and then to Arika. "No harm will come to them."

"Alright then." Natsuki and Nao dismounted their horses, and Shizuru followed suit. "Shizuru, last chance. You can stay here with Midori, or come with us. I can't guarantee your protection either way."

"I know, regardless of that, I will still go with you." She grabbed her bag, and her weapon, slinging both over her back.

"We will enter the castle grounds before sunset." Midori told the three of them. "Pray you'll still be alive when we get there."

"You're a comedian." Nao waved off as she led the way, Natsuki at one side and Shizuru at the other. There was a barricade near by, and instead of going through the large gate, they decided to make it easier on themselves, and Nao called one of the guards. "Warrior!" She shouted to him, not having any idea of what his name was. He scurried towards her, a young boy, skittish and a bit underfed. He met her face to face after a short bow, but said not a word. "A boy as young as you, carrying a blade."

"My father's wish." He said with a firm nod, and that made Nao sigh.

"A mere cadet such as you, carrying a blade for our nation so young?" Nao couldn't believe it. "My cousin takes you cadets in younger by the day, doesn't he?" Unsure if she should nod or not, he didn't move. "No matter, you'll not see war for several years, not until that helmet fits you properly." She rattled it a little but and then she smiled a wicked grin for his benefit. "So kid, what do you say, are we to be cuffed, or free to walk."

"Nagi requests your presence." He said quickly, with every once of obedience he could muster. "He said nothing about capture."

"He knew we would come to him." Nao said to her companions, and then looked back down to the boy. "What were your orders?"

"To see that you make it to the castle in a timely fashion. We have no motive, only to see to your expedient arrival." He reported. "If you were to go to the castle, we were ordered not to do anything that might cause undue displeasure to Queen Mashiro. While she is among your travel party, you are not to be harmed."

"The guards are going to follow us, aren't they?" Nao muttered.

"Yes, please forgive me." He told her, a bit quietly. "You will attain your rightful form soon, won't you?" His eyes were filled with hope.

"I have no idea." Nao told him. "I hope so."

With the admission of seeing the truth in his eyes, she knew, he was one of the quiet loyalists who awaited her return with eagerness, still this was not the day to gift good news. This afternoon just wasn't the time nor place to gift him any comfort, and so, she smiled at him for only a moment. With ease, her eyes seemingly uncaring, they walked quietly through the streets.

Shizuru marveled at the brick housing that she passed by, and all the men who carried weapons at their sides. Young boys were arms to the teeth, and though everyone was dressed warmly, you could see the angry glint that spoke like screams. It was also of little comfort to hear the clinking of metal not so far behind her. Eight guards followed behind them, and eight also stood in front. it was not a welcome party...of that Shizuru knew.

It was clear that most of the people were avoiding them, pointedly.

…

The castle was nothing like Shizuru had imagined.

She thought it was going to be a cold place, but it was filled with warmth. The grounds weren't foreboding at all, but instead, beautiful. Gardens made of small pines, cobbled pathways of dark stone contrasted with the white fluff that littered the ground. Everything was meticulous, deep blacks like a void, and icy blues were the colors that painted mosaics on the walls, and stained glass with mystical hues. Even in the chilly air, crisp and clean, there was something about the castle that seemed too innocent.

It was a palace for for the finest king...yet, when they entered the grand and sprawling space, it was not a man that stood at the top, but instead a boy. His hair was an unhealthy color of gray, and his eyes were an unwelcome steel red. They didn't shine brightly like Shizuru's own crimson, and still, she knew well what must have taken place for his eye to even be such a red at all...he was not in good health, not at all.

"The prince returns." His voice was cool, an unwavering calm as he strode down the long and intimidating staircase. "Juliet, it's been a while."

"Not nearly long enough." Nao groused. "Even while I'm out, you cause little more than terror."

"I've not done anything of the sort, my cousin." His smile was sickening. Innocence befell him, a cloak that he couldn't wear...not in front of those who knew him. "Besides this nation is not your concern, Juliet. Don't forget that, or else you'll lose too much." Still, among the daggers that were sent his way, Shizuru was unsure of what to think as he greeted her with a welcome that stunned her. "You're an interesting one." He smirked to her, looking up at her form in a gaze filled with intent he'd yet to speak of. "I'm sure you're tired. You should rest after a long day. Natsuki, you should welcome our guest and show her a room in the east wing."

"She's our friend, why not the west?" Nao asked then, peering into him.

"Put her wherever you want, Juliet." He told his cousin with a shrug. "If you want her to stay with those of Zhang, I won't argue." Still, his eyes cut to Natsuki...he knew everything, there was no doubt of that. "I'm surprised, Juliet...if you are truly a man of this nation, and you believe yourself worthy, don't you think you should punish her?"

"It's because I'm a man of this nation that I don't give a shit about what you think." For show, and because she was a little angry, Nao pulled Natsuki roughly and possessively to her side. "She's my future wife...you'll stay the fuck out of what I'll allow her to do." She looked to Natsuki then and sighed. "The west, Natsuki. Make sure Shizuru's nearby."

"Don't have to tell me twice." Natsuki couldn't wait to escape the open room, knowing that Nagi wasn't being nearly as generous as he wanted Shizuru to think. "Come on Shizuru, I'll show you around." Eagerly, she pulled the woman along with her, up the stairs, and down the long hallway. Nao and Nagi watched them depart, and without missing a beat, he started laughing.

"Keep up the charade all you like." He told his cousin with a glare in his eye. "It doesn't matter either way."

"That's what I'm afraid of." She was powerless here, and she knew it.

"A word to the wise." He told Nao. "Give up while you still can."

"Not on your life, you little bastard." Nao sneered at him.

…

"You'll be safe here." Natsuki said, tired and withdrawn. "As safe as can be afforded, at any rate." She felt drained, completely and utterly so.

"Natsuki, why do you do that?" Emerald eyes were burning into the floor, and Shizuru couldn't take it. "Why keep me at arms length, when I can tell that's the last thing you'd like to do?"

The wall crumbled. "Because the things I would do to you would make me hurt even more if I had to let you go." She murmured gently, pulling Shizuru into an embrace. "I wish this could be easier." She clung tightly to the thick cloak made of wool that kept Shizuru warm. "The truth is, Shizuru, it won't be, and I know that." Her fingers tangled into fawn tresses, and as she pulled away to look into crimson eyes, and smiled, a sad little smile. She wanted to kiss the lips that were so close to hers, and found herself being unable. Natsuki pulled away, walking across to the other side of the room, pulling open the navy blue drapes that had kept the window closed. "In the distance, you'll see the tree I've talked about before." Hesitantly, she released a breath. "The scars are still there...but last time I was here I noticed something."

"What was that?" Shizuru asked, though she was unsure she wanted to know.

"The branch that broke off is still trying to grow, and it's sprouting new tips." Natsuki told her as she pressed her palm into the cold glass. "It's continuing to reach across the sky."

"Of course it is." Shizuru said, putting her hand over Natsuki's. "What else did you expect it to do?"

With a frown, Natsuki found the strength to utter something she never thought she would. "Die." She murmured quietly. "This place is a very lonely place to be...and I'd always thought that if I was suffering, that probably the trees were fairly lonely too." Natsuki shrugged as she gazed out at the far away memory that she could still see clear as day. "Do you think it'll ever reach what it's looking for?"

"Maybe." Shizuru told Natsuki. "However, I also think reaching for things is only half the battle." She tightened her grip a little. "It's about holding on too, Natsuki."


	38. 32

**Chapter 32**

There was a bitter taste in the air. The cold nipped at her body, even when the chilly winds were blocked away by the stone. Each bedroom had a fireplace, and though it was lit, she found herself unable to enjoy the fire that glowed. It was lonely here. She had a big room, lavished with several comforts. Fine silks, fluffy blankets, soft pillows, everything one might expect. There was nothing to complain about, if a person sought only the highest quality possessions money and craftsmanship could buy.

Still, there was no laughter, no companionship, not even a trace of nomadic life.

The leathers Natsuki had given to her were replaced with a dress. Though the embroidery on the fabric was elaborate, Shizuru knew that was likely only a bad thing. A symbol perhaps, and it made a statement of of status. The beauty of the pristine white lace also left something to be desired. She didn't fancy herself to be a trophy prize, but she felt particularly uneasy about this particular custom. The other women weren't offered such refinery...not even Mashiro, who was currently storming about the garden, had been given any sort of gift.

The pale blue seemed little more than a pained requiem, and her heart didn't need the reminder. There was not a single imperfection in the cloth, and part of her felt as if she were standing in the brothel once again. Surely the woods shined with polish, and the bricks cradled no moss...yet all she could feel was the trapped feeling, and a loss of her own willpower. It made her want to scream, the memories troublesome ones.

How many nights did she stand in the back room, apprehensive and confined? She didn't know, and doubted she could count them all...and now she was doing the same in a place where she was eye liked a tool, and not so much for carnal desire, than as for destruction...and that gave her gut a reason to tumble haphazardly.

Her only hint that her life held significance was the leather bound book she kept her fleeting notes on. As if that would grant her solace, she opened up the book to a blank page. _Is it truly the dress that bothers me so much?_ Her scrawling was the neatest it had been, since for the first time, she was actually sitting at a table. She took more time than usual, only because it made the seconds tick by faster. _No...it can't be that, now can it? Rather, I think it's this opulence. It's the craftsmanship and what it eludes to, that's what seems to addle my mind._

The very notion made her gulp heavily. _After having the experience to ride on horseback with those who view gender role openly, I've come to realize most women are stronger than they appear...being stuff into this dress, well, I fear it is little more than a sign of just what I am._ She looked up, and around the room.

It was indeed beautiful, but the implication clear, her world was little more than what those around her made of it. _What I wouldn't give to be out on the open land again..._ She closed her book, and then opened her drawers, where her nomadic leathers hung in the closet. She reached out and touched them, wanting little more than to tear her dress to shreds, at least then she would have a good excuse. An insistent thought came to mind, and she considered it. She went back to her book, and wrote one last passage. _Artai seems to provoke recklessness, I understand that now...I can only hope to be forgiven for my own ideas, because I know they lack proper foresight..I've got to try._

If her own loneliness was not enough, Natsuki had all but vanished, and Nao was also off her own endeavors. Even though she'd been instructed to stay in a safe place, she couldn't help feeling trapped. With little else to do, she couldn't sit idle any longer, thinking to go for a walk along the castle grounds. The idea, while innocent enough, left her pondering even more, feeling as though the beautiful spectacles before her, were little more than an appearance. Portraits were the likeness of past rulers, and they lined the walls. There were also ones of the entire sprawling family.

None the less, the smiles were fake.

There was a stern reality within the walls castle, and Shizuru could tell, most of the families in the paintings smiled on command. That's how life was in the castle it seemed. Shizuru knew she was not alone, if there was one thing she'd learned, it was that all of her comrades had a particular presence about them. "For all of the opulence that can be found here, there's something to be desired." Each one of them were slowly becoming something far greater to her. With Midori at her side, she felt courage...Midori's gift as a leader empowered those around her...even by just her gaze. "There's no joy in these walls, Midori. I can't pity the souls in this paintings enough, it seems."

"No, there wouldn't be any solace for you here, now would there?" Midori sighed, leaning on the well crafted brick. She was still in her nomadic leathers and warm cloak, but she was unarmed as far as Shizuru could see. "There's no happiness in the hearts of those that live here...how can there be any joy, when there is only sadness?"

"Sadness should not linger then." Her voice even echoed a little more than she felt it should have, and the candles gifted more warmth than they offered for light. "Can this hall be any more dim?" Shizuru asked then, a dark question indeed. "Shouldn't it be his job to make this castle into a place all feel pride in?"

It hung wickedly in the air, a vocal noose. It was one that Midori seemed to pointedly ignore, though her gaze never faltered. "I would not speak freely here, Shizuru." Midori told her quietly, her voice a calm deadliness. A huntress who was no longer in her world, her animosity well contained. "Walls have ears and forever seeing eyes. There is no doubt in my mind, you'll find no comfort in the words you speak...if a person could, would Natsuki be so withdrawn?" Midori was like a dangerous animal, waiting to pounce, carrying all of the wisdom of a prideful beast, and the rabid intentions of a killer.

"That is a point." Shizuru continued to walk along the hallway, it was empty, and very nearly foreboding. "It's easy to forget just how much she hates this place. I have to admit, after being here, I agree with the sentiment." She shook her head, mentally admonishing herself. "I can already feel myself becoming judgmental, and I know very little of Artai."

"You've seen enough." Midori replied, inspecting a few bricks, as if they might hold a key that simply wasn't there. "You'll tend to find, there is no honor here. Natsuki suffers, even now...in that way, we've no choice but to hate Artai." She put a hand on Shizuru's shoulder, guiding her to a window. "This country breeds war, it's the creed they live by. There's unity in that. Even if I hate the boiling rage that stems from it, I know that Nao can make this place into something powerfully good too."

Shizuru didn't want to think of it like that. "Then why is it, whenever I think about hell freezing over, I think of Artai?"

Midori stiffened at that, she hadn't expected such a question. "Tell me something, you've traveled a long way. You've seen my old homeland, my sanctuary, and my maps that guide my way." She dared to look Shizuru in the eyes, standing strong and proud. "You've shared in peace, and in suffering...in that Shizuru, you have earned the right to be considered kin." The rawness of her statements left nothing to the imagination, yet there was more to it than all of that. "However, your kin has been locked away within these walls...why have you not gone to see them?"

"I was instructed otherwise." Shizuru sighed. "Turned away at the entrance to the cells. I am not permitted to go."

"That's a smart move on his part." Midori said then, contemplating Nagi's next move. "He has all of his pawns right where he wants them."

"Excuse me?" A frown tugged at Shizuru's lips. "Midori, what's going on?"

"Nagi is looking to sell them off." Midori said quietly, her eyes like a hawk, watching and listening for anyone who might be passing by. "It would be open to anyone who sees them as investments, not friends. Natsuki already tried to purchase them, but Nagi refuses that act, since it would give her satisfaction. Nao is in that same boat, and, if that is not enough, she still must see to Natsuki's punishment." There was a hardened sense of anger, but Midori kept it well under wraps, her eyes were stony, but calm. "Natsuki's also in a cell until she receives Nao's judgment...come with me."

There was a smaller corridor, and at the end of it, there were a few sets of double doors. "The one at the end belongs to Nao and Natsuki." Midori explained, as she mentally cursed herself. "Nao should be in there, but, she's in a fairly bad mood, given the state of current affairs."

"Do you think she could take me to see Natsuki?" Shizuru asked, her eyes full of hope.

"I don't doubt it would be difficult for her. Nao is still a person that can not be refused, so long as Nagi doesn't order such a thing." Midori said carefully. "However, I'm unsure about if Nao should take you, it's not a very good sight to behold."

"It isn't a matter of should, or should not." Shizuru told her. "This is a matter of testing my resolve to my limit. I told Natsuki I would stand by her, no matter the cost, she will not endure this suffering alone."

"Is that how it is?" Midori asked then. "A bold declaration will receive an answer in kind, and it will not be filled with pride, or with honor."

"If Natsuki is to be locked away, I will be too." Though Shizuru's voice didn't shake, her eyes found the floor quickly. "If she is to endure punishment, so shall I."

It made Midori grin, ever so slightly. "I've spoken this before, and I'll say it again. You are a true nomad at heart." With a nod, Midori went about her own matters, leaving Shizuru there in the empty walkway. "I wish you luck."

Echoing footsteps lasted only long enough to gift a bated breath, she knocked on the thick door, a request for her entrance, and it was one Shizuru received quickly. "I need a favor...and for you to trust that I know what I'm asking." She said to Nao, watching as lime green eyes scowled a bit in confusion. "Please Nao, trust me."

Nao looked around a bit, and then sighed, opening the door all the way. "Get in."

…

"You do realize, if we go through with this, Natsuki's going to be pissed." Nao murmured, almost in shock, as she drank some wine, and cursed to herself. "There is no way in hell she'll let you do it."

"Natsuki isn't in the position to complain." Shizuru told Nao. "Besides that, can you be so sure that I would be safe here in the castle either way?"

"There's no way to know for sure." Nao's mind felt hazy, and Shizuru's request was a lot to take in. "Natsuki knew this was a risk from the start...she knew we would have to come back here one day." Nao tried desperately to put the missing pieces together, but just found it impossible to do. "You're right though, you're not safe at all in Artai."

"If I'm running a risk either way, isn't it mine to take?" That was the hardest question to answer, and Shizuru could see the struggle.

"You know, sometimes the two of you say the most annoying crap I've ever heard." Nao stood up, and moved over to the large bed, mostly to rummage through the nightstand. "She said the same thing to me once, it was during pillow talk one night...I had half a mind to leave Natsuki here, but she wanted to go with me...said she needed to see what her old home was like." Nao shook her head, smirking a bit darkly after finding the item she'd been looking for. "We were both pretty young when we left here for the first time, just kids, really...I'm sure Nagi thought we'd end up dead or something." It was a white cloth, and as she unfolded it, she was careful not to disturb the glass bauble inside.

The blown glass was exquisite, shapes of snowflakes trapped within. "I'd fully intended to marry Natsuki, before she decided she wanted to rule in the Black Valley." Nao just watch the glass shimmer in the sunlight before wrapping it back up, and closing the drawer with a muted thud. "We were both so caught up in our own goals, that we didn't realize we were slicing away at each other until it was too late...by the time I realized Natsuki had been hurting at all, you were already there, right by her side." She fell backwards, the ceiling was empty, only a stray spider building a web could be found. "You were already mending the damage I'd done." Nao turned her head with a sigh, to regard Shizuru. "For what it's worth, I don't mind losing to you...because I chose Erstin...but now you're trying to gamble against my cousin, and that's a bet you might not win."

"I won't know if I don't try." Somewhere in the back of Shizuru's mind, and in the bottom of her heart, envy bubbled deep inside. "It's true that this is a gamble in more ways than one...but, I can play his game...if he wants to believe he has power, let's let him believe so." Yet, seeing the look in Nao's eyes had made it fizzle out. "He will not be the first man who thinks he owns me."

"He might be the first who actually does." Nao was unimpressed by that. "Do you really think he'll play things our way?"

"One can only hope." Shizuru said then, more than just a little nervous. "I can't say for sure, but I do know one thing. Nagi seems to like causing suffering, and Natsuki will hate this, even if she does know we've planned it." She bit her lower lip, taking a deep breath. "In that way, this should garner you favor...and maybe even appeal to him...if we can pull this off right, he may find this to be a fitting punishment for Natsuki all by itself...after all, what could be worse than having the very people she loves ripped away?"

"Natsuki is going to murder me." Nao muttered. "Fine...we can give it a try...but I can't protect you from Nagi, or illness in that basement."

…

It was musty, and water dripped from the ceiling. The chains on her ankles were tight so that she couldn't slip out. Used to these old ways, she'd become accustom to kneeling on her knees, though the floor below her was little more than rock and dirt. Her hair was soaked by the chilly water that continued to fall from up above her head. There was no cloth to cover her, and her black scars that were like stripes, were on display for all to see.

The only thing she had was a blanket, and even that had holes in it. There was no privacy and the water she drank from dirty cups was tainted with the bitterness of vinegar. This was her life, and she was used to it. There was something about the way the rats ran across the floor, a shared reality of the dank prison cells. There were only four, shared communally.

She couldn't help but feed the tiny creatures, and even went so far as to pet them. Growing up with them only made her aware that although they seemed filthy and unclean, they were no more a burden than the cute mice found in lush fields. With little more than stale food and a chamber pot, there was no luxury here, and Natsuki could already feel it become difficult to breath.

The stagnate air was filled with odors that were both pungent, and sickening...still her concern was not for herself.

She was not alone, there were others who were also innocent, and yet, condemned to the hellish fate. Still, at least they were given rags of burlap, more than even she was offered, and in that, she found some sense of calm. The loud slamming of a metal door pulled her attention from the scurrying animals over foot, and away from the boy who seemed to suffer most.

It was hard to drag the chains around, but Natsuki was able. "The furthest corner." Natsuki said as she hoisted the ill lad. "We'll move him there." True, there was no wood plank to rest on, but, it was dry, and free from the dripping cracks above.

"If he doesn't get medicine, he'll die soon." Mai said quietly.

"I'm no doctor...but I have a good friend who is a nomad." With great care, Natsuki set the boy down, watching him wince as he clutched his chest, struggling to attain much needed air. "The next time she comes to look, I've no doubt that she'll bring something for him." Then, with a bit of a sad smile, Natsuki shook her head as a another droplet plopped down onto her. "This place is made to break your spirits...if you allow that to happen, you will die. That's just how it is in Artai..."

"You were a traveler too, weren't you?" Mai looked down at her feet, moist and black, the dirt clung to her. "You passed by the Black Valley, so aren't you a nomad as well?"

"If I were, that would be a blessing." Natsuki said then. "That's not the case, though, I suppose right now, I make a damn good impression of one." She wrung out the water in her hair, and then ran her fingers through it, trying to release at least a few knots. "This might sound like a farce, but I'm actually the ruler of the Black Valley...and as you can see, I'm not exempt from the hell my people have endured." The metal door rattled again, and the light of day greeted the shadowy passage that separated the cells from the freedom of the outside world. It was no surprise to see Nao and Midori, but Natsuki cursed when she saw another person, and it didn't take long to finger out who it was. "Shit..."

Nao heard Natsuki's cursing before the group actually stopped at the cell she was in. "Before you go blaming me, it was Shizuru's idea."

"I figured as much." Natsuki said dryly, taking the bag that Midori had smuggled in with her. She passed it off to Mai, and then stood in front of the door, blocking the way. "I'm not going to let you come in here, Shizuru." Natsuki groused, taking sight of the chains she held in hand, her clothes just as meager and itchy as the other prisoners. "You're not going to be cooped up in here with us, it's not a place for you."

"I've decided my place, now move aside." Shizuru murmured.

"Personally, I agree with Natsuki." Nao said then. "This will only complicate matters."

"I don't see how." Shizuru said then, she'd planned this carefully. "My being here will amuse particular factions...it will seem favorable, and you can't deny your cousin will find amusement in this outcome."

"If he wants you for himself, this will be a bad idea." Nao told her, trying to keep the echoing down as she whispered. "He will find good humor, but also a fair amount of power."

Natsuki shook her head. "Shizuru, no." Natsuki couldn't stand for this. "Many places we go, imprisonment is not common, why do you think that is?" Natsuki didn't give Shizuru a chance to respond. "They stand trial quickly, they face the fate before them head on...quickly...and unless there is debt to be paid, no one has a use for keeping criminals alive...this is merely a place for those who will eventually suffer, nothing more." She leaned heavily on the thick bars, shutting her eyes when she heard the boy, Takumi, struggle once more. Nagi's looking to break what little morale we have, that's all he's trying to do."

"He will not break mine." Shizuru told Natsuki quietly. "What better way to get under his skin, than to willingly submit to his ways, proving that they can be over come."

"Shizuru..." Natsuki growled.

Aggravated, Shizuru clamped one end her chains around the metal bars, and then clamped the other end around her ankle. "You'll either open the door so that I may come in, or I'll simply stay out here..but either way, you're not in any position to argue...and I'm in no mood to return to my room."


	39. 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is a long chapter, though there are a few scenes cut out here that were left up on the AO3's version. Those scenes are graphically violet, and may end up triggering some people. You can get the general, and profoundly watered down version in this chapter, so if you're squeamish, there's no need to go the AO3...if you want to go over there, by all means read the chapter there, but you have been warned...
> 
> I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome

 

**Chapter 33**

Stubbornness had gotten her through some hard times before, but Shizuru wondered if this time, it would truly be enough.

The clanking of rusted metal doors, and the dim light wasn't any sort of comfort. In fact, for a person such as herself, who was unused to the eerie atmosphere of a night locked away, it was frightening. There were torches that were on the wall, staggered, and only to gift shadows that lurked like demons waiting to consume their souls. Their breaths echoed with the others in the area, and some were rasps of those waiting to die. A thick smell of blood found it's way to her nose, and sometimes, she had to will away the images of those she'd already seen suffer for their crimes.

Infection was easy to catch, she noticed that with the way battered men littered the ground, sharing what little means they had, if only to survive the night.

Shizuru had seen three people walk out of a different cell, the one next to hers, and they didn't return. It had been hours, but she'd known from the murmurs just what was going on. Natsuki was right, the people who were locked away, waited for their execution, or for their family to pay what was owed in taxation. There was no other reason to keep a person alive if they had no value.

Insanity was a mistress that seemed to loom over them. It was only a matter of how soon she would beckon them. For most within these walls, it was likely a short wait. For not the first time, Shizuru wondered if she was slowly losing her grasp on reality, her wit slipping from her so easily, when fear nipped it's frozen fangs into the back of her neck.

She knew she wasn't going to be given any privileges down here, but even so, she hadn't any idea of the conditions the people survived in. Now that she had seen it first hand, she had no choice but to swallow down the bile in her throat. Every move she made rattled her chains. Every breath she took fulled her mouth with the taste of stagnate air, and she considered herself lucky. Somehow, she was able to back herself into a corner, able to avoid the dripping water from up above...the disadvantage was that the cold metal and brick pressed into her back, an uncomfortable feeling in the best of times...raw welts forming in the worst.

"There were guards all over the city." Now that she had settled in for what she knew would be a long wait, they were talking about the Black Valley...or rather, what was left of it. "Some of the older boys and most of the healthy men were made an offer...most of them took it." Mai's carrot topped head of hair was a muddied color, it was hard to stay clean as it was, and they were only offered one chance to bathe a week, if even allowed that much. Malnourished by choice, she'd been giving Takumi most of her share of their meals. "I don't know how things are in the villages, but the city was mostly abandoned by the time Nagi was done. Most people have been relocated here...enlisted in the militia if they have men in their family...I don't really know what happened to a few of the others."

"It's better if you don't." Natsuki murmured in the far corner, huddled with Takumi under the only blanket in the cell. She was trying to keep him dry and warm, but it was a failing endeavor at every turn. "You're a woman, so there's not much I can do about you...but..." She bit her lower lip, stopping abruptly as she noticed something off about the boy in her arm. Natsuki's silence screamed volumes until she started to speak again. "We've got to get him to a doctor. The herbs are wearing off, and they weren't meant to replace his usual medication in the first place." Natsuki had her hands pressed to his chest, not only to hold him, but to feel his heart, counting the ailing beat as time ticked by.

"Do you think that friend of yours will be able to help?" Mai leveled her gaze at Natsuki, though all she could see was the outline of two people in the shadowed corner.

"Artai has more use for a man than for a woman...unless that woman of a noble birth, or a warrior at heart...and that woman would have to be a hell of a warrior at that." Natsuki said quietly, resting her tired eyes as they slipped closed. "I don't know what this boy's price is, but since he's sick, it would be rather low...Nagi doesn't put much stock into dying boys." Natsuki wasn't feeling well either, and her entire body was beginning to throb painfully from the damp air around her. "You're worth a lot more based on your body. You're womanly, and a virgin...the fact you know your way around a smithy is also a huge value here, in a country that lives for war." She could feel it in her joints, and her bones now. Soon she would be spitting black bile if she didn't get some medicine of her own. "Even if you weren't useful for a man's pleasure, that alone would make you expensive."

"I didn't realize slavery was common in the north." Mai sighed then, curling into a ball, both because she was cold, and to hide her face.

The metal door opened and slammed shut again, footsteps echoed in the long hallway. There was two sets, and one of them was a guard. The other was a mystery. There wasn't enough light to see until both people came to a stop at the door. The person that came into view was Nao, and Natsuki smiled, trying to hide her ailments.

"I can only offer a few moments of time. Make your proceedings quick." The guard told them sternly before walking off again through the door and slamming it shut.

Nao just scowled, unhappy with the sight before her. "How are you holding up?" Bearing meager gifts of warmed soup and a few hunks of bread, it was more than a person would normally receive. She past the cups and the rolls wrapped in cloth through the bars, and then she leaned in closer. "You breathing, Natsuki?"

"The usual, around this time." Natsuki said, swallowing down her pain with a sip of hot soup.

The cryptic statement made Nao begin to worry. "What about the kid?"

"We need Midori." Natsuki told Nao, she couldn't even open her eyes anymore. "His heart speeds and slows at an irregular pace."

"What we need is money, and a lot of it." Nao grunted, not at all amused. "Takumi's fairly cheep, Midori can afford him, if we pull money out of our own coffers to add to hers." Mai perked up and that, a hope settling into her eyes at the tidbit...but Nao frowned at her. "The girl, on the other hand, Nagi's not willing to barter on. He won't tell me a fair price for her, or any price at all."

"He wouldn't." Natsuki muttered, not at all amused. "We just have to hope he doesn't have some other plan for her."

"I have a formal meeting with him tomorrow afternoon." Nao replied, though the bite in her words spoke entirely of her fury. "He'll be informed of Shizuru's whereabouts then...however, if that plan is not enough for him, which of the usual punishments would you prefer?"

"Floggings aren't so bad, as long as it's in the barracks in private..." Natsuki considered then. "Though you know his rule about protecting me from the public eye." She shrugged weakly. "Anything I guess, as long as it isn't the branding irons."

"Natsuki, that's morbid." Shizuru scolded. "Nao, do anything in your power to keep her from receiving that punishment. Let me deal with Nagi."

"I'll do the best I can to keep anyone from getting hurt." Nao said then, though, she didn't quite believe her words were possible to uphold. "It doesn't change the fact that Natsuki broke several laws upheld in Artai, any lesser person would have been slain for their crimes by now. Three commoners caught just the other day are already affixed to the rack as we speak."

"The rack?" Mai asked, causing Nao to shake her head.

"Don't ask." The redhead replied, sickened by the question.

At Shizuru's insistence, Natsuki sighed. "It's a system of pulleys. They put your hands and feet into straps that hold you, and with it, they can confine you in place. It's made to stretch your limbs, but this is Artai, doing only that would be merciful in Nagi's eyes."

"He makes people beg for death." Nao frowned and reached down to her hip, cursing the fact she had no blades equipped. "I'll do the best I can, I hope that will be enough."

…

Ice carvers stood along the peeks, drilling into the frozen water that kept the passages inaccessible. Loud machines echoed far and wide, and Midori watched from the window, Nao at her side. "I must say, I've got to give credit to Shizuru's loyalty. However, I must also scorn her stubbornness." It was something she wasn't bothered about, but Nao was. "Natsuki is not so easily quelled, and the grand duke is little more innocent than the devil himself. It'll be interesting to see how Shizuru plays her cards."

"Nagi's the incarnation of all things unholy." Nao agreed quietly, smoking out of her pipe. "Nagi's not the type to gift gratitude often, but I think Shizuru's right." She bit her lower lip, thinking on those matters, examining her sword, and contemplating forthcoming repairs. "I might gain his favor this way, especially since he knows that it would upset Natsuki. Shizuru wants me to tell him that she is there, and that he may remove her and do with her as he wants." She knew Shizuru was cunning when she wanted to be, and didn't have any doubts that Shizuru could pull something like this off, but, she also knew her cousin well. "I know she's trying to keep Natsuki from getting hurt, but in truth, this will only cause them all more pain."

"There is no doubt that Nagi would find amusement in these antics." Midori nodded with a frown. "But, he's sly...and he will see this as a ploy, make no mistake. So then, if that's the case, what will Shizuru do once he goes to get her?"

"She wouldn't tell me that." Nao groused, knowing there was only a handful of things Nagi might have an interest in. "If anything, it does buy us some time...the problem is, the longer any of them are in that place, they run risks of dying." It didn't sit well with her, but she knew Shizuru wanted that chance to deal with matters in her own way. "If she insists on picking a fight with Nagi, I can't say I don't agree with her...I just doubt she knows who she's messing with. Toying with Nagi can be a fatal. She didn't seem to care about that warning."

"You're all very rash in your own ways." Midori noted then, looking down at one of her books. "Shizuru has her own willpower, and it is very strong. If she feels she is capable of manipulating Nagi in any possible way, she must have some level of faith in herself." Thumbing through her passages, she finally found what she was looking for. "We'll have to have faith...besides that, you need to go see Erstin. If she is in the right condition, it would be best to take her with us...but you must go to her now and offer her some measure of comfort."

"I'd rather not." She didn't feel right leaving right now, not with so many people in thorny situations. "Especially not while Shizuru is making her move. She may find out that she needs help...I'm the only one who stands a chance."

"This is Shizuru's choice, leave the matters to her." Midori muttered quietly. "You have to see Erstin."

"I have to deal with Natsuki first..." Nao sighed then. "She can't wait any longer."

There's only one other option Nagi would accept." Midori shrugged, not liking the implication.

"I know that better than you do." It made Nao's head spin, but she knew what it would take.

"If you do it, you'll be beaten bloody." With a sigh, Midori downed the last of her wine.

"We don't have much of a choice..." Nao sighed. "Even if Shizuru wants to toy with him, the fact of the matter is simple. Nagi is not so easily appeased, even if he will let us off easier than normal, it won't mean he'll simply forget."

…

She'd never been treated with such abnormality before. "I can't believe you want to go through with this." She'd been stripped down into nothingness in front of three male guards, hosed down, and then dragged to a proper washroom, where a bath of warm water awaited her. That, she considered fairly normal, but then, she was gifted luxury on a grand scale. Nina, outfitted with what Shizuru recognized as Artai's military issued attire, had been waiting for her. "You do know that if you upset him, Natsuki's the one who'll endure the pain because of it, right?"

True to what Nina had warned her about before, Shizuru assumed that this bath and offered servant was little more than pretense. "I'm aware." Shizuru murmured as she allowed the girl to properly wash her long tendrils of fawn hair. "To be honest, I have no idea what to expect, but given the state of ingredients to the side, I can gather he foresees this to go someplace it ought not to go." There was something to be said for a bath lasting more than a few moments in chilly river water. Shizuru had almost forgotten what it meant to live in a dwelling, and it offered at least a smidgen of comfort, something she sorely lacked recently. "Though in all honesty, I've nearly forgotten what it means not to have grit caught in my hair."

"If I may ask, what would you rather have." Nina wondered allowed as she began to rinse Shizuru's hair. "A place filled with these luxuries, and no freedoms of which to speak, or the vast world outside, lacking all of this...well, whatever Nagi thinks this is."

"I would gladly deal with the girt and freezing river water, so long as I have my freewill. To me that's the most important thing." After her bath, and proper feminine grooming, her body was once again fit to be a woman of the night. While the feeling of actually being clean was a refreshing one, she couldn't say she felt the same about her impending meeting. The dress Shizuru was offered was a bit shorter than most of the other women she'd seen garbed in similar attire, though it was of a flimsy fabric, the silk was soft, and it was clear just what status she had in Nagi's eyes.

"We're pawns and little more." That was the conclusion she'd begrudgingly come to as she followed Nina down the long hall to Nagi's personal room. It sat on the other side of the castle. "Even though I do understand my place in all of this, I wonder if those men understand theirs." She couldn't help but feel awed by the bows of all who saw her walking through the wings. It was as if they put her on a pedestal, or failing that, gawked at her with a lustful gaze. "You'd think they'd fear castration with the way they ogle."

"You're meant to be on display." Nina said quietly as they kept walking. "As long as they don't actually touch you, Nagi doesn't particularly mind what the men ogle around here...though he does make it a point to murder all who even lays a finger on a woman without his consent." When they stopped at the door, Nina stood off to the side. "I'll be waiting out here to receive orders from Nagi. You should go in now, and speak with him."

"You assume that's all we'll be doing." Shizuru queried, hoping that would be the case, but she also knew better than to assume the man beyond the door was using good sense.

"I hope that's all you'll be doing." Nina corrected. "I'm simply trying to remain as daft as possible, considering that this used to be my home."

Shizuru didn't offer a retort as she pushed the door open, and stepped through the threshold. She imagined that Nagi would be given a particularly spacious and grand room, but it was not unlike the one Nao shared with Natsuki. In fact, it was nearly identical. There was a table, filled with fresh fruits and some wine, a few chars, and a roaring fireplace. The bed was also large, and hand crafted. "It seems you've come to pay me a proper visit after all." It came complete with it's own insipid inhabitant, whom she loathed. "There's no need to worry, come sit down and enjoy a drink with me."

Shizuru took his kindness with every drop of venom that she was sure he intended to gift, even if his smug smile was rather kind, if little else. "You shouldn't go to such trouble, I'm hardly worth it. Besides, we both know there is no need for these pretenses." She tested the waters carefully as she came around to lean over his chair, lacing her arms around his neck seductively, feeling ill all the while. "I am a lady of the night." Her fingers toyed with the gold chains that were laced around his neck, tickling his flesh. "I can grant your every wish." She murmured into his ear. "Now then, how shall I address you?"

"By name, without formality is fine with me." He said as his eyes slipped closed, leaning into Shizuru's touch. "I was hoping to share words, but, as you say, you'll grant my every wish." With that, his sickly red eyes met Shizuru's crimson ones. "I've no doubts that you'll do exactly that."

She slipped behind him a little more, if only to hide the disgust she couldn't mask for a moment. "I'm a deadly woman, Nagi." She purred, feeling at odds with herself, mentally praying Natsuki would forgive her for these transgressions later. "I don't think I have to tell you of the things I'm capable of." If only to tease him further, and make him clutch at the chair his was sitting in, her lips gifted feather touches to his ear as she breathed hotly into it. "Grant me a few of my desires, and I assure you, I'll follow your whims without complaint."

"My dear, you'll follow my whims no matter what I do." Nagi laughed, a cocky tone enough to remind Shizuru he was not merely the boy he looked like. "A complaint will only trouble you...it will not help you." He was the hell that needed to be dealt with firmly. Recalling that truth, she unfastened the top two golden buttons to his silken shirt, slipping her hands inside to tease her fingers along his chest. He was a sickly man, she could feel it in his ribs and over his skin. He had the same unhealthy scars Natsuki had, if not worse, she swallowed hard.

"You are ill." She told him quietly, pained, but not because she felt bad for him. "I had assumed from your eyes...but..." She remembered Natsuki in the cellar, her clear pain, that she tried desperately to hide. She could almost hear Natsuki's ragged breathing. "It must hurt terribly." Surely, Nagi thought those words were meant for him...she would let him, if only to benefit herself.

Her fingers ran along the scars a few moments longer. They felt rubbery, like flesh that had been scorched one too many times. "Does a body such as mine sicken you?" He asked with a smirk. "Are you terrified?"

"I've seen flesh rot right off the bone." Shizuru told him then, a truth from her past in the Black Valley. "The dark coloration and bruising are both superficial, and truth be told, there is a charm to them." That's how she felt about Natsuki...that every scar was one well earned...her birth alone had given her stripes that many would consider ugly.

"Is that right?" Nagi asked amused.

"Yes." Shizuru could only consider them beautiful. "It speaks of a strong soul, and powerful determination." After all, what babe could have survived such poison at birth, unless they were meant to live in prosperity? "There is no shame in the scars you bear." It was how she often felt when she made love to Natsuki, and that was her only strength now, as she tried to keep her meager dinner from lurching from her gut in complete dismay. "Be honest, you want nothing of my body, only what's inside of it."

"Smart girl." Nagi said quietly. "Though there is a merit to enjoying a woman like you...it would look poorly to actually lay with you while Mashiro is here." He smirked, wagging a finger at her. "I wouldn't dare, not while I have my people thinking I believe in strong marital relations." Still, as he stood from his seat, he couldn't hide the fact he was decidedly male, and highly aroused. "It may very well cause an uprising, and even though Nao may be idiotic enough to believe I'd fall for it, I thought you would know better...someone should have."

"It makes very little sense for me to keep up this farce." Shizuru murmured then. "You can't very well bleed me dry, you'd never be able to duplicate my blood...yet I know that is what you want from me the most. You want Mashiro as your wife to gain more power, and you want my blood to wet your blades." The very thought made her sick, but she knew the truth. "The only trouble is, my blood is not deadly to everyone."

"It must be." Nagi replied quickly. "It should be darker than the darkest black, and more deadly than the most potent venom." His smirk contorted into a sneer, his pale lips twisting in such a way, she knew he had intended to use her for far more than she bargained for. "For those who say it can not kill, they've yet to witness the properties of the blood you have for prolonged times. I'm sure your blood would seep away at any tissue, if mixed with other vile substances." Then, as if an afterthought had just popped into his mind, he snapped his fingers. "I got it, Natsuki thinks she can't be hurt...and you think the same."

"She can be hurt." Shizuru said quietly. "She can not be killed."

"You're sure?" He seemed to consider that, but not long enough to gauge his reasoning. "If I were to leave her in the dungeons long enough, her life would undoubtedly end." Confidant that he'd caused enough damage to make his power known, he eased into a grin. "Don't play these games, woman, you'll never win...you can act like a sewer rat with the rest of them if you want...you can even watch as Natsuki slowly drowns in her own bile for all that I care...just know this, you wouldn't have been alive if my father hadn't wanted for such a thing..." He reached over took a sip of his wine goblet, and then nodded his head to her. "You're a treasure to covet, and little more...go ahead and play you're little game with my cousin and Natsuki, travel to the ends of this earth...just know that what they're looking for doesn't exist."

"You're frightened that it does." Shizuru told him.

That caused Nagi to laugh. "I like you." He said then, gonging over to the bedroom door. "You're quite fun. We'll have to play again soon." He opened the door, addressing Nina. "She wants to sleep with the rats, let her sleep with the rats...I don't mind where she sleeps...let her follow Natsuki around to her heart's content...maybe then she'll learn something."

…

The dark, musty hallway echoed with the sounds of complete hell. Leather cutting through the air. The clinking sounds of chains being pulled tautly...muted screams were stifled, cries were haunting, and a sick, gruesomely twisted smile, graced each and every guard who patrolled the four cells. She assumed that routine beatings were common, if not a pleasure for those of Artai's ruthless nature. Meeting Nagi had allowed her to understand more of his mind, one that was too far gone from reality, and yet, sharper than any tack.

He was a pained man, who sought to gift his agony to others, she could see that now.

Shizuru was too horrified to utter a word when she came back to the cell. It was for the best, her minds was sure, what could she say, the sight before her was one that would likely haunt her in the depths of sleep. There were no words she could gift of comfort, and her gut turned with vengeance. The air was thicker than normal, the clammy reality made her head spin, and her chest painfully tightened.

Awestruck in the worst of ways, she was too stunned to cry when redness tinted her fingertips. Natsuki's shadowed form was hardly conscious...not even aware that the gentle touch was from Shizuru as she flinched away in pain. "Oh no...Natsuki?" Even as the words slipped from her lips, she knew her mind was still in shock. "Can you look at me?" She expected many things, but not this. "Please, open your eyes."

"Don't worry." Natsuki's words were quiet. "I'm alright."

"How can you say that?" The mere sight was enough to prove Natsuki's confidence was little more than a lie. "If you try to comfort me, at least say something I believe."

"I'm...breathing." That was a least the truth.

"Barely, Natsuki." Shizuru shook her head.

Natsuki was bound tightly to the wall by her wrists, her toes hardly touching the floor. Her breathing was heavy, her eyes shut tight as she struggled. Bile seeped from her mouth and dripped onto the floor below. Gashes on her back and sides oozed, and if that were not enough, her body had been splashed with the burn of vinegar by some man, claiming to be a priest...all the while, his grin was little more than a twisted truth. Nao was slightly better but not by much as two female guards lowered Nao's body onto a wooden plank, resting her there. They bathed away some of the salty sweat, and part of the grime before carrying her off, but Natsuki wasn't given the same treatment.

She was simply being left there to hang, and even worse still, she had nothing to cover, her naked, shivering form as the gards had thier way, gawking, sneering, and hissing obcenities. A few of tem pelted junk into the cell as they pass by, others spit at thier feet. Wishing the inmates little more than torture and death, the guards made it a point to showcase their wide range of uses. Their knives and guns were kindness...they had other means of enjoing thier time. Hot coal, salt, and an entire table, a dead man already being chucked off as if he were a slab of meat and little more.

Death was by far, the most pungent oder...yet, it was Natsuki's prone form that addled shizuru the most. All she sould do was carefull embrace her dangling lover, as if somehow, shelding Natsuki from view would safe her from any more harassment. "Oh dear gods." Her first instinct was to comfort Natsuki, the only problem was, Shizuru had no idea where to begin. "I'm sorry." Her mind was frazzled, a snails pace at best. "I didn't understand, and I'm so sorry." She tried to pretend her murmured words were enough to protect them from the sounds of crunching bones and ripping flesh...really, all it added was a backdrop to even more depravity.  

Finally, Natsuki couldn't take hearing the barely audible sobs that were so close. She nuzzled her cheek into Shizuru's, trying to ignore the pain of saltwater that dripped into a gash on her cheek. "Hey..." Natsuki's words were weak, and barely a whisper. "I'm alright, Shizuru."

"Look at you." Shizuru anything clean to tend to Natsuki's wounds with, so they had to drip freely. "You're the furthest thing from it."

Natsuki just smiled and shook her head gently. "They'll come get me soon." She winced when Shizuru thumbed away some of the black spit from her lower lip and chin. "I've had worse than this."

"You won't survive worse than this if you aren't careful." For not the first time, she wondered how Natsuki was still able to smile, despite her most recent punishment. "Natsuki you need to stay with me." With the greatest care she could muster, she pulled Natsuki's hair off of her back, and tried to dry it the best she could.

"I'm alright, Shizuru." Natsuki muttered again, though much quieter than before. "I just need to rest my eyes." Her head was beginning to lull to the side, and finally, her emerald eyes closed.

"Natsuki..."

"Shh." Natsuki's quiet voice hushed her. "I'm fine."

Another guard came up, a female, and her eyes were trasfixed on Shizuru. She a whip in hand, but instead of simply using, she stopped in the middle of her strike. "You're a beauty, aren't you?" Her words were almost gentle. "What are you doing down here in a place like this?"

"Fuck off, Tomoe." Natsuki groused from her position, there was little else she could do. "She's not a toy, you twisted little shit."

"You can still talk?" Tomoe hissed. "Should I fix that for you?"

"Try it." Natsuki's rebuke made Tomoe snarl. "Kill me, and you know you're as good as dead."

Tomoe looked away, unhappy with that truth. "You'll want to stay away from that one." She told Shizuru with a soft smile. "Nothing but trouble, really. To my understanding, you're down here on request. Maybe you should move to the upper floors." Her voice was kind...too kind. Natsuki's dismay made's Tomoe's ruthlessness apparant, even if outwardly, she was the shining example of a gentle woman. "You could stay with me, in my room, if you'd like."

"Thank you for the offer." Shizurur shook her head. "I'm afraid I must decline...I appreacate your lack of voilence, that means a lot to me."

  
"Think nothing of it." That cracked a truly genuine smile upon Tomoe's otherwise cold face. "I'd do anything for a woman like you."


End file.
